


Regent's Park Series

by gretchenk0720



Series: Regent's Park [1]
Category: British Actor RPF, Tom Hiddleston - Fandom
Genre: Child Abandonment, Domestic Violence, Drama, F/M, Fluff, Love, Past Domestic Violence, Post-Divorce, Romance, Sex, new life
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-01-21
Updated: 2016-10-12
Packaged: 2018-03-08 11:15:09
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 31
Words: 122,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3207149
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gretchenk0720/pseuds/gretchenk0720
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Willa rekindles her friendship with Tom after a bitter divorce. Will their relationship amount to anything more than friendship or will she keep the walls she built around her and let love pass her by.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Regents Park — Chapter One

 

The small stack of papers sat squarely on the heavy wooden desk, waiting for their ink stains and the seal that would would irrevocably sever the vows that had once been held sacred. Willa stared at them; the hollow pit in her belly ached, she hadn’t seen him in over a year, and her mind wandered - maybe even held out a small shred of hope. She waited impatiently. Her leg bounced nervously as she fiddled with her skirt’s hem, not quite knowing how to handle her anxiety. Her attorney smiled at her, and placed a hand on hers, to calm her.

“Just a few minutes, and this will all be over.” Patricia said quietly.

“I know,” Willa answered with a sigh. 

It had taken months to get to this point, and she honestly, despite the pain of it all, wanted it done. She wanted nothing more than to restart her life with her daughter. Willa wasn’t sure if the emotion she felt welling inside was anger or sadness, but she swore to herself that she would keep it together until after everything was signed and done.

“Willa. Patricia. So sorry to keep you waiting.” The stern, affluent accent sent chills down Willa’s spine as her husband’s attorney Peter, entered the room followed by Jack. 

Their eyes met; hers may have pleaded a bit for some sign of life, but she got nothing in response except for a harsh look that suggested she was at fault for interrupting something more important than divorce proceedings. 

“Oh it’s no problem, Peter; we weren’t waiting long,” Patricia said as the two men took seats at the other side of the table. 

Portfolios were opened and the two attorneys began to talk over the final arrangements. Willa still held her stare on Jack, who didn’t even look at her.

“Now, Jack has agreed to alimony and child support,” Peter canted as he shuffled papers between himself and Patricia, then paused, “and visitation of Molly… Jack will give ample time to request a visit when he’s in London; other than that, it’s a non-issue. Willa has full custody. Molly’s tuitions and health care will also be taken care of.” 

Willa glared, “Jack, you can’t abandon her. She’s your daughter.”

He raised his eyes and gave her a defiant look, “I didn’t want the baby to begin with, I figured she would keep you company.”

Willa opened her mouth to speak again, but Peter shushed them, “Let’s finish the proceeding.”

 

Jack’s words knocked the wind out of her, and she blinked back tears. Anger, she was pretty sure it was anger now that welled in her belly, in her heart, and in her mind. She felt Patricia’s hand on her knee to calm her. She looked at her attorney, who gave her a sympathetic eye, and took a deep breath. Willa, felt completely numb, knowing that the man who sat across from her was not the man she had fallen in love with and married right after university. 

 

With very little left to hash out, the papers were signed and the divorce was finalized. Patricia and Peter shook hands as Jack quickly got up to leave. Willa ran after him, catching him in the hall. She grabbed his arm, in a last ditch attempt to at least save her daughter’s relationship with him; “You can do this to me, but not to Molly. She didn’t ask for any of this.”

Jack stopped and looked at his now ex-wife’s hand on his arm. He inhaled sharply, the stoic business man that he was, dressed sharply, well groomed - a look that used to make her heart flutter - but his eyes held no emotion. “She?” he said. “She? I didn’t ask for her. I didn’t want her. Molly is your “pet,” Willa. A trap you set me up in. A trap that I will have to support until she becomes of age, but she’s your problem.”

Once again, she blinked back anger and tears, “Molly is not a problem, Jack. She’s your daughter. You witnessed her birth and doted on her over the first years of her life. Don’t lie to me. She needs her daddy, not some brainwashed wannabe CEO.”

He exhaled sharply, gritting his teeth which flexed the muscles in his jawline. His eyes went from blank to angry, and she heard him gnash his teeth together. “Maybe you need to go find her a new father.” He callously pulled his arm from her grasp, straightened his suit jacket and walked towards the lift to leave the building.

The tears finally welled and streamed down her cheek, her heart not breaking for herself, but for the little girl who never stopped asking for her father. The little girl who never got an answer on Skype, and shrugged it off that Daddy was busy. She felt her jacket being wrapped around her shoulders as Patricia joined her in the hallway. 

“He’ll wake up when it’s either too late, or when he doesn’t like who you chose to be a better role model than he would’ve been.” She consoled, “I’m sorry, Willa.”

The younger woman scoffed and wiped angrily at the tears that fell, the sour pit in her stomach making her nauseated. She grabbed her bag, thanked her attorney, and took the stairs down, not stopping until she found a car to take her home. She thanked the driver for being quick and ran into the flat she shared with her parents. She passed her mother and daughter, locking herself into her room. It was then that she finally allowed her emotions to overcome her. She curled up in her en suite bathroom, the last little bit of hope rising in her throat ready to make it’s exit. 

Only in her wildest nightmares had Willa imagined this day, those words, this life. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*

The sun was warm that afternoon. She watched Molly ride the new bike her Nana had got her as she walked the paths in Regents Park. Willa knew the fresh air would do them both some good, but it was especially helpful for her. The words Jack had said still resonated deafeningly in her ears. She had cried in anger and frustration. She had cried that he saw their daughter merely as a pet or a nuisance. She had cried because her little girl had been abandoned by her own father, and there was nothing she could do about it.

 

Her mother, trying to be supportive while they shared an afternoon tea, reminded her it was time that she started dating. She was gentle with her push, implying that Willa was still young, and beautiful, and had a lot of life left to live. It had been nearly two years since their separation and one year since she’d stopped wearing her wedding ring. He wouldn’t have known. Jack had been absent from his family for quite some time. Pursuing his dream. Moving to China with promises from the BBC as their Asian expansion took off. Working directly under his father, who had always considered family as something that got in the way. 

When he left, Jack promised that it was for a short time—just a year—to get everything with the BBC set, and he would be back to visit many times. There was lots of time spent on Skype, Facetime, and text. He missed them; at least he said he did. Then it all changed very suddenly. The meetings were later, and those little family sessions became fewer and fewer. Business was picking up, he would explain, lots of meetings and weird hours. The Chinese were all about business twenty-four/seven. Willa remained supportive, and cherished those few times he was able to communicate. Then it all ended. Even more suddenly, he became distant, never coming home for holidays or even calling. The texts became random. The Skype sessions stopped all together. He wouldn’t answer her calls. She accused him of an affair, but his only affair was with his office. Willa remained faithful. Maybe a little too faithful. All she felt was cold. 

Her failing marriage began to create a rift within her own group of so-called friends. Not one to share her own personal problems with others, she kept his absence to herself. She made excuses for him when she arrived alone at parties. For awhile, it was understandable. Most of the women she associated with all had quested for the executive roles early on, so girls’ night out was a familiar occurrence. Then they each started families. Playdates began. Jack was hardly ever home, living in a different country all the time. The whispers started. The rumors spiralled behind her back. She decided it was time to step back, and away from that torment; her failing marriage was enough for her to handle. With the exception of a certain few friends that had spent nearly a lifetime with Willa, she holed herself away and devoted herself to Molly and her photography, which kept her plenty busy, yet there were times that she yearned for camaraderie.

Her mind raced as she walked along, her mother’s words sounding just loudly as Jack’s were. The thought of dating frightened her now that she had Molly, and the thought of auditioning a father to take Jack’s place frightened her even more. She feared dealing with the consequences of his actions whenever the little girl learned of his abandonment. She shook with the thought and silently vowed to keep Molly as happy as she possibly could. She had to focus on the day-to-day, and continue being the best mother she could for her daughter, even if she had to go it alone.

 

She sighed and wrapped her jumper around her, not for warmth, but for security, trying to hold herself together. Her head ached, eyes hurt, and tears still randomly fell, but she took joy in watching her daughter ride—the training wheels teetering from one side to the other, her high-pitched laughter innocent and genuine. The park was unusually quiet; a few people were utilizing the paths, running, walking, or going about their late afternoon with their own thoughts. She ignored the couples on the lawns; their public displays of affection pained her. She wasn’t quite ready to stomach the syrupy sweetness of watching the act of love take place. She perhaps gave an eye roll or two as she walked faster to keep up with Molly. 

 

“Molly, slow down, love,” she reminded a few times, as the little hills caused her to speed up and the shrill laughter from Molly proved her fearlessness. Her little legs went flying off the pedals as she gained momentum. 

“Molly, watch where you’re going.” Willa said as she jogged to keep up, now thankful that the park traffic was light. 

She knew Molly, lost in her own little five year old world didn’t hear her, and the gap between them grew a little too large for Willa’s comfort. There was another little downhill slope and a small patch of people, and Willa’s gut feared disaster. She watched Molly take the hill, feet off the pedals as usual, lost in her own joy. She watched as Molly hit a bump, lost control and flew over the handlebars landing right in front of a jogger who tried his best to catch the girl. 

Willa was running, even before she heard her daughter cry, and it felt like she was running through thick mud to get to her. The jogger tended to Molly, as Willa arrived and quickly assessed the situation. 

“Oh Molly!!” she said breathlessly. “Thank you,” she muttered to the jogger as she hovered over the girl, looking for any sign of injury.

“I think she’s alright. Quite a tumble she took.” The jogger said still kneeling to calm Molly. 

“Molly, what am I going to do with you?” Willa sighed, as she helped the little girl stand up, The only injury was a hole in the knee of her tights and some road rash on her palm. 

“I want to do it again!” Molly laughed, all tears now vanished.

“Oh, no,” Willa said, standing up. “I think you’re done thrill-seeking for the day.” 

Molly pouted, arms crossed as she sat back on her bike, causing Willa and the jogger to chuckle. “Thank you again, and I apologize for interrupting your run.”

“Oh, it’s fine,” he replied, removing his sweatshirt hood, “I’m just glad she’s okay.”

“She’s a bit of a daredevil,” Willa added, making sure Molly’s helmet was adjusted. “She’s going to keep me on my toes.” 

“Willa?” The jogger asked squinting his eyes, making her jump. and feeling a bit uneasy. 

She looked at him, apprehensively, her eyes still hidden behind sunglasses. She squinted her own eyes to place his face, and it finally clicked. “Tom? Hi!”

“It’s been ages!” he said, his smile growing and his eyes brilliant. 

“Since a little after Uni,” she replied with what she felt was the first genuine smile she’d had all day.

“Yeah! You… you grew up! Your daughter!” he said, as Willa stifled a laugh as she watched him put two and two together. “She’s beautiful, the spitting image of you!”

“Oh thank you, Molly’s all mine and all five. It’s been a few years!” 

“Yes! Your wedding, you and Jack! How’s he doing?”

Willa twisted her face, and he immediately knew, his eyes darkened and his smile dropped and she was happy that she didn’t have to say those words.

“I’m sorry,” he said, with an honesty Willa knew was real. 

She shrugged, and quickly sought to change the subject, awkwardness already growing heavy between them. “Your career, wow. It’s taking off.”

He smiled, “Yeah, it’s going pretty well good. Hard work finally paying off. Do you live around here?”

Willa nodded, “For now, with my parents until my flat is finished. You?”

“A few streets over, so maybe I’ll see you around?”

“Maybe.”

“It was good to see you, Willa,” he said, and then he did something that made Willa’s heart unexpectedly flutter—he knelt down to Molly to talk to her at her level. “And it was very nice to run into you, Molly.” He kissed Molly’s hand which elicited a giggle from the girl, and he smiled at Willa, “You take care.”

She smiled, placing her hand on the youngster’s shoulder. “Thank you, Tom. Let’s go, Molly.” 

Tom watched as the two took off down the path, remembering back to the days of University when he was good friends with whom he now assumed was her ex husband and she was a first year. He took in her body language, arms still crossed over her torso, sunglasses still on, that it was still very raw. He thought for a moment, questioning his judgement and not wanting to offend her, but his heart felt strongly that she needed a friend.

He turned on his heel and set off after her, “Willa, wait a minute.” She stopped and with arms still crossed over her chest, drew them tighter. He noticed and he frantically searched for the words, hoping she wouldn’t take him the wrong way. “Let me give you my personal mobile number. I’m right around the corner, so if you want to talk, meet for tea to catch up, by all means, please.”

She looked at him, his eyes kind, unthreatening and friendly. She hesitated, took in a deep breath, then reached in her pocket for her mobile. They exchanged numbers, and she gave him a smile, “Thank you, Tom. I could use a friend.”

He exhaled, and returned her smile, “Use it.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*

Molly whined with a little more exuberance and drama than necessary as Willa cleaned and applied antiseptic to the little cuts on the girl’s hand and knee.

"Oh, did we fall? Esther asked as she joined WIlla and her granddaughter at the kitchen sink.

“Miss Molly had quite the spill!” She explained, as she placed a plaster on her knee. “She quite literally ran into an old friend of mine from University.”

Esther leaned in and examined the scrapes on Molly’s palm, “She did? Whom did you run into?”

Willa smiled, and exhaled a chuckle, “Tom Hiddleston.”


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willa rekindles her friendship with Tom after a bitter divorce. Will their relationship amount to anything more than friendship or will she keep the walls she built around her and let love pass her by.

Regents Park - Chapter Two

 

The rain did nothing for Willa’s mood. 

It caused her to think too much, and wonder excessively about what went wrong with her marriage. The pitter-patter of the raindrops on the conservatory glass did nothing to drown the voice in her head. 

 

“You should have tried harder, Willa. You should have moved to China, Willa. You should have done everything you could have done to save your marriage, Willa.” Consistently the voices echoed in her head. 

She sipped her tea and pulled the blanket closer around her, watching the raindrops roll down the glass. A teardrop mimicked the rain and slowly traced a path down her cheek. She wiped at it angrily. Too many tears wasted on someone who didn’t care, whose real demeanor and personality were cloaked and were only allowed to be reveal itself when it was already too late to cause minimal damage. 

 

Too many tears. 

 

“Oh, you’re being melodramatic now, Willa,” she said out loud to herself as she pulled herself off the sofa. “You’re better than this.” She looked over at the little girl who was very involved in her dolls and sighed. “You’re showing her exactly what not to do. Such a prat, Willa.” 

 

She kissed Molly on the head, whose smile and her explanation of what was going on in her little world felt empowering to Willa. 

 

She also figured the stagnant air from being cooped up for the last couple days and her own demeaning mind was causing her more sadness than necessary. Regardless of the near incessant drizzle that London was throwing at her, she needed to get out. She had to walk, or run, or whatever it was she needed to do to eradicate her mind of those hurtful thoughts.

She placed her teacup in the sink, tied her long brown hair into a ponytail, pulled on her wellies and her raincoat, and shouted to her mother that she was going out for a bit, and set out to clear her mind.

“Willa, it’s raining, you’ll catch a cold,” Esther said.

Willa chuckled, “Mum, we live in London, how did we ever survive. I just need fresh air, clear my head a bit.”

Esther kissed her daughter, “Just be careful. Take your phone with you.”

“Of course, mum. Love you.”

The heavy door closed behind her, and the first waft of London air filled her lungs and she almost immediately felt better. With the damp London air in her lungs, she skipped down the buildings stairs and made her way across the street to Regents. 

There were a few souls braving the dreary London weather. Joggers and walkers, and a few tourists were set about the pathways, probably feeling the same cooped up feeling Willa had had earlier. She walked slowly, childishly splashing in random puddles, delighted in the brilliance of the flowers against the grey afternoon, and enjoying the quiet that was finally in her head. Willa continued to walk and splash, enjoying the cool feel of the raindrops and breeze on her face, which she much prefered over her own damning tears. 

With her mind clearer, Willa pushed some happy thoughts in her head. Her new flat, which would be ready soon. Her best friend Johanna had worked very hard to design and renovate it, and offered both her and Molly a solid foundation of a new life. She chuckled at the thought of blind dates, and set ups, and the awkwardness of first dates, and wondered how many men Jo probably had lined up “to have a go,” as she put it. She shuddered at the thought of sex for the first time…again. There had only been Jack, and he had been absent for quite some time. Even while Willa shuddered, she also savored and craved the exquisiteness of being touched again.

She laughed in the anticipation of getting into trouble again with Jo, who relished in the single life. Yet more importantly, she contemplated the idea of finding out who Willa really was again and it excited her. She had her career as a photographer, which had really taken off, and kept her insanely busy at times. And of course, she had Molly, but she really wanted to define herself. Her thoughts roamed to Molly starting primary soon and how excited the little girl was about her uniforms and learning.

A little bit of sun peeked through the clouds and made the puddles sparkle, giving her a glimmer of hope. “Yeah, I’m done crying too.” She smiled to herself as she looked up to the sky. 

She walked, arms still tightly crossed over her chest, her barrier up even though the paths were quite empty. She walked, taking in deep, refreshing breaths, inhaling the scent of the roses that were open and beautiful. She walked, finally beginning to feel like Willa again, feeling like this challenge was hers to finally conquer. She passed Queen Mary’s Gardens, and the floral scents again wafted into her nose, this time making her sneeze.

“Bless you!” a deep male voice said as he jogged past her.

“Thank you!” she replied as she stifled another sneeze. 

“Fancy meeting you here,” Tom said as he stopped and turned back to her.

Willa smiled, “If I didn’t know better I’d think you’re stalking me.”

“Surely it’s pure coincidence of being stuck indoors the last few days.”

“Among other things,” she chided. 

With the absence of Molly, and with her looking not so upset, he found his gumption to ask, “How are you, Willa, really?”

She exhaled, and twisted her face, and crossed her arms over her torso. “It’s a long story, Tom.”

“Then would you join me for a cuppa. To catch up. It has been too long.”

Willa paused, bit her lip, and then nodded, “Sure. I’d actually love a cup.”

The two made their way to a small cafe within the park, and sat at a small table under the canopy. The drizzle was still keeping many people inside, so the cafe was quiet; perfect for two friends to catch up.

“I know it’s probably gnawing at you about what happened between Jack and I,” she said as she swirled the spoon in her tea.

“You don’t have to go into it,” he reminded her, “It still looks very raw to you.”

“Four days divorced. I’m still trying to categorize it all. Jack wasn’t the person I thought he was,” she said.

“No, I’m guessing not.”

“Jack’s a fucking knob,” she chuckled. “And sorry, I really don’t like to drag someone through the mud, but he really is. Tom, I’m sorry. I know you both had some great times at uni, and he was loads of fun, but he had us fooled. He had everyone fooled. And I know you haven’t heard his side of the story, even if there is one, but he’s a giant fucking knob and it feels really fucking good to say that.”

Tom stifled a laugh, and she laughed with him. “I’m glad you got that off your chest.”

Willa sighed, “I have no idea why I just vented out to you, and I’m a bit embarrassed, but dammit it felt bloody good”

“Don’t be. I’m sorry Jack hurt you. And your daughter. I never thought him the sort.”

Willa waved her hand to shush his apologies. “I don’t know whether to blame the BBC or his father, or maybe even myself. He just, changed.”

Tom was still not sure where the conversation was going, but he sensed she wanted to continue her vent. It was as if the absence of the few years they hadn’t seen each other didn’t matter, and she found comfort confiding in him. “The BBC? So he did end up working for his father, right?”

Willa nodded, and swallowed the bit of scone she was nibbling on. “Remember when he scoffed at nepotism? Alastair offered him something he couldn’t turn down. Build the Beeb in China. Jack and I were happy, we had just had Molly, and I think it pissed off Alastair, and maybe Jack too that Molly was a girl, so he pulled Jack to China. He promised us it would only be a year, to get the Chinese expansion off and running. The marriage just dwindled from there. Molls and I became cumbersome and a non issue to him.” 

“Oh wow, Willa, I didn’t know.”

She shrugged, “Not something I wanted to spout off on top of Parliament. I lost a lot of leverage when his mum passed. Alastair…. just took him over. He never really liked me any way.” Willa exhaled sharply and forced the subject change, “So anyway…. You! Your career!”

He chuckled lightly, and his cheeks reddened, “That’s all luck.”

“No,” she laughed as she shook her head. “That’s all talent. You’ve always had it, Hiddleston.”

“Talent AND luck then.”

“Ok, Loki,” she giggled and rolled her eyes, the sound of her laughter surprising her. “I’ve seen you cut your teeth. Talent.” He rubbed his face, and laughed as his cheeks grew redder. “Can you still quote Shakespeare at will?” 

“Oh Willa, old habits die hard. I count myself in nothing else so happy

As in a soul remembering my good friends.”

The two shared a hearty laugh, and to Willa it felt amazing. “I for one, am proud of you. You worked hard for this,” she said, reaching over and tousling his short hair, “Although I do miss all those curls!”

“Well thank you, Willa.” he smiled, running his hand through his hair, “So other than Jack being a pompous fucking knob, what else have you been up too?”

She laughed, feeling a comfort that had been absent for days. She leaned back in her chair, picking at her scone, and began to enjoy herself, the conversation, the company of an old friend. “I’m working, as a photographer. I love it. It’s freelance, so I can decide my own clients. It’s liberating, being behind the camera. It gives me some control, while some things are out of control. Johanna uses me the most for her interior design business. So we both butter each other up quite a bit.”

“Johanna? She’s still around?” Tom asked.

Willa laughed when he asked about her best friend. The girl was the nearly the complete opposite of Willa’s quiet demeanor, yet when the two were together, it was complete trouble, which was now, nearly all the time.

She nodded, “Oh, yes. I think we have a life bond. Molly’s middle name is Johanna. She’s doing interior design, kicking ass and taking names. She redesigned my flat that’s almost finished.”

“That girl was something else. Bloody brilliant and a quite raunchy mouth.” 

Willa laughed, “She still is. She wants it all and simply takes it. My strength when I have none.” Willa dropped her eyes and fidgeted with her hands in her lap, “She’s in Scotland, had to finish a job. Jack sprang the proceedings on me quickly. I think he may have created a client that needed her help so I could go this alone, and so that he wouldn’t have to face her.” She cleared her throat of the emotion that welled, not able to bring her eyes back up. “She’s pretty much all I got left.” He took her hand and squeezed it, “Sorry, I shouldn’t be dumping all this on you.”

“I’m a good ear, Willa,” he said.

She sighed, “And you’ve always had this perpetual smile on your face. Always had this beautiful glow of positivity around you. You still do. I’m just a Debbie Downer. A divorced mum, with loads of baggage.”

“Everyone has baggage, Willa,” he reminded, “It’s all about how we carry it.” 

She chuckled lightly playing with the handle to her teacup, then sighed, “I don’t even know where to begin.”

“Oh I’m sure it’s right in front of you, you just need to know where to step,” Tom said trying to reassure her. 

“Dating. I mean I have to start dating again. I have to be picky, and choosy, and do daddy auditions, and really have to go it on my own. And I can’t bring just anyone home, and where do I even start with that? The internet? The pub?” The waitress cut her off as she put another pot of tea in front of them, and Willa bit her lip, thankful for the break in her rambling. She ran her fingers in her hair, and heaved a deep breath. “Again, I’m sorry for my incessant rambling.”

He smiled at her, “Oh no, let it all out.” 

“What about you? I’m sure you have some starlet waiting in the wings, Mr. Most Eligible Bachelor.” 

He sat back in his chair and looked at her with playful eyes, “Matter of fact, I do not. It’s very hard to find someone that wants me for me. Or doesn’t see me as a conquest. I need to be picky and choosy too. With this little bit of fame comes a lot of hesitation when it boils down to it. Most are most interested in the actor, not the real me.” 

“Well that’s a bunch of bollocks,” she scoffed, and they both chuckled.

The pair finished their tea, decided the hour was getting late, and that Willa didn’t want to make her mum worry. They walked together, slowly, carrying on about the childish things they did at uni, and all the trouble they got into. They took the long way around. Old friends, reacquainting with each other, making up for lost time. By the time they left the park, he was already picking on her, and she was already quick with her wit, laughing and cutting up as they walked. 

It began to rain again as they made it back to Willa’s parents house. She looked up at the sky and the rain kissed her cheeks and caught in her lashes, and she laughed, “I really needed this today. Thank you, Tom.” 

He leaned in and kissed her cheek, “It’s good to be in the company of friends. I’ll call you later. See how you are. When is Johanna back?”

“Late tomorrow. She’s already skeeving and spitting fire.”

He laughed, “Maybe a beer will do you both good.” 

“Yeah, that would be nice.” 

Tom put the hood to his sweatshirt back up, and then kissed her hand. “I’ll see you later, Wills.”

She nodded and hugged him, “Be careful on your way home.”

He threw a smile at her and then took off in a jog down the street. 

Somewhere, in all the pain and anger that was abundant in her heart, Willa may have felt it flutter.


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willa rekindles her friendship with Tom after a bitter divorce. Will their relationship amount to anything more than friendship or will she keep the walls she built around her and let love pass her by.

Regent’s Park - Chapter 3 

The dart fell with a “thud” to the pub floor, joining the other three that failed to stick to the dartboard.

“Fuck,” Willa muttered as she slumped into a chair “I will never get one to stick. I just want ONE to stick.”

“You’re not putting enough force into your throw.” Tom explained, as the dart he threw struck the board at a near bullseye.

“Oh there’s nothing Hiddleston can’t do,” Johanna mocked as she handed Willa another beer. “Prince Charming get’s a bullseye.”

“It’s off the mark, Jo,” he sassed back. “I missed.”

“Sure you did, you posh prat.” Jo laughed as she rifled through her bag and pulled out a picture. 

She walked to the dartboard, picked up the darts from the floor and used one to affix a picture of Jack to the board. She handed WIlla the darts, and with an evil grin added, “Now you have something to aim for.”

Willa laughed, “Do you always keep pictures of my ex husband with you?”

Johanna rolled her eyes, “You know it was for that fucking Edinburgh project, but I do occasionally use them to wipe my arse”

Willa chuckled, took the darts and squeezed by Tom, who took his place behind her, one hand gently on her hip, the other gently wrapped around her wrist, his large hand easily enveloping hers. She took a deep breath, his scent filling her head as he instructed, “Put your whole arm into it.”

Willa stifled a giggle and tried to regain her focus from Tom’s stance behind her. She shook her head and concentrated on the board in front of her with her exes smiling face pinned to it. She took a deep breath, squinted her eyes to focus and tossed the dart, managing to nail Jack’s picture right between the eyes.

“Atta girl!” Tom said, “Just remind me to never piss you off.” 

Willa danced her in celebration, as Tom lauded her and Johanna again rolled her eyes. “Let’s do it again!” she laughed, as the boost in confidence made her want to give it another go. 

Meeting at the pub had become a regular occurrence over the past few weeks. It would start with Willa and Johanna meeting after Molly went to bed. Esther would virtually kick her daughter out the door, and Tom would sometimes join them as the night wore on. The three would always settle into a back table away from the small crowds that gathered in the neighborhood establishment.

The evening was humid, summer’s last hurrah as it would be. The pubs old a/c unit and the fans George the pub owner had propped around tried to keep up, but it was sweltering. Johanna’s caramel skin and Willa’s porcelain skin had a glow, and the beer was just adding to the heat, but it was good to unwind, and Willa got to see Tom again. 

Tom and Jo sat at the table while Willa again threw another dart, this time, hitting Jack in the nose. Jo fanned herself cheering cheekily, while Tom again applauded. “Now throw a dart and hit a guy,” Jo prodded. “Or a girl, whatever tickles your fancy.”

“That’s your fancy Johanna, and no, I’m not picking up a guy at a bar,” Willa replied, laying the darts on the table and sipping her beer.

“Then at least let me set you up with someone from the office.”

Willa plopped herself in a chair, and gave her friend and uncomfortable look. “I’m not sure. I honestly don’t think I’m ready,” Willa sighed, rolling her eyes, deepening the look to stop talking about her not so lustrous dating life.

“It’s been two years of ‘not ready’ Willa,” Johanna huffed. “It’s time Willa got her groove back. I get it, you’re nervous, you’re apprehensive, you’re becoming prudish.” Willa heard Tom stifle a laugh and felt her face turn hot, and turn even redder in her already heat flushed face. She flipped Jo off as her friend laughed, “What, you’re hot, you’re gorgeous, you’re available, God girl, live it up!”

“Jo, not here, not now,” Willa whined.

“Why not here, in the comfort of friends.”

Willa bit her lip and heaved a sigh, “Because it’s my business. And mine alone. You of all people should know that.”

Johanna sighed, and tousled her curly locks, “I’ll drop it Willa, but you need to live.”

Willa hid her flushed face, “I will. When I’m ready.”

Tom cleared his throat which interrupted the girls glare at each other, “You fight worse than my sisters.”

“We’d be married if she would just tag team,” Jo snickered as she finished her drink.

Willa mouthed the word “No” and the three shared a laugh.

“You two carry on, I’m bloody going to melt into a puddle of milk chocolate.” Johanna sighed, wiping her brow, “Plus I’ve got things to finish on someone’s flat tomorrow.”

“Sure that’s not semi-sweet?” Tom added, causing Jo to glare and Willa to snicker. 

“Good one Hiddleston,” Jo smirked. She leaned in and gave Willa a kiss on the cheek. 

“Oh tomorrow, Jo. Molly and the zoo?” Willa reminded.

Johanna twisted her lip, and her shoulders dropped, “Do you want to move on Saturday? I would love to, but I am going to have to break this promise to my Molly-muffins. I think she and her mum deserve this flat more than a trip to the zoo, and there’s some last things that need to be done before I let my loves live there.” 

Willa smiled, “She will understand. Love you, Jo.”

“Love you too. And I’m serious, I’ll set you up.” 

Willa sighed, “Okay, Okay.” Knowing that if she didn’t give in, it would end up in a lifetime of prompting. It was was just too hot to disagree and it was easier to just give in to Jo… most times. 

Johanna’s brown eyes sparkled, “Yes! I will get things in motion tomorrow!”

Willa hugged her friend, and Tom kissed her cheek. “See you loves later, and don’t do anything I would do!” 

Willa sat back, flipping a dart end over end, trying to shake her embarrassment and hide the possible growing crush she had on her male counterpart. “Another game?” she asked shyly, maybe even possibly a bit nervously after Johanna’s dating interrogation.

“Why not, maybe now you’ll wallop me.”

Willa giggled, forcing the thought through her head that they were just friends, and that the conversation that just occurred between her and Johanna gave him no implications of anything other than friendship. She was comfortable with Tom. He evened out Johanna’s omnipresence, and gave her a little security that she desperately needed.

“Loser buys the last round,” Tom smiled as he picked up his darts. “And accompanies Molly and you to the zoo tomorrow.”

She laughed, “You’re on.”

Tom purposely lost that round, and Willa knew it. Willa had two darts that landed on the floor and the others landed way off the mark. Tom’s all landed on the floor. He blamed it on the Guinness and was grateful that it was just a short walk home. 

Tom did what he did every night they left the pub; walked Willa to her front door. The walk from the pub was slow and friendly, it took nearly everything he had not to hold her hand. She walked with her arms criss-crossed over her chest. Her wall built up around her, but her laugh, when she laughed - which was more and more often - was music to his ears. They walked close together. Their elbows and arms sometimes touching, skin to skin, the softness of hers giving him chills in the warm air. He knew she was content with their friendship and it took even more willpower to hold his tongue when Johanna discussed her “lack of dating.” He did agree with Jo on the condition that Willa was “hot,” even though her looks, as exquisite as they were, had little to do with the feelings he had that were growing for her. 

As they reached her door, she leaned in and embraced him. He took the opportunity to take in her scent; the light vanilla floral intoxicated him more than any drink could ever make him. He kept that from her, needing to learn to be content with the friendship, and maybe hope for something more. 

“So what time tomorrow?” he asked before he stepped away.

She smiled, and felt her heart in her throat, “Oh Tom, I won’t hold you to that, I know you’re busy.”

He knitted his eyebrows together and he wasn’t sure if she was revoking the invite. “I lost that bet, and I would be honored to escort Molly, which I would have even if I won. I’m looking forward to it.”

Willa bit her lip, to hide her nervousness. “Nine. Before the crowds get out of control, and the rain comes in in the afternoon. She’s going to be delighted when she finds out you’re coming.”

He laughed, and then kissed her cheek, “I’ll be here right before nine, with breakfast.”

“Oh bonus!” she giggled. “I should win more often! Good night, Tom. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“Sweet dreams, Willa,” he said as she watched him jog off, like he always did.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Molly was unable to contain her excitement. She ran along the paths, breaking through the leftover morning fog that still hung low in Regents Park. Tom ran behind her, taking chase as Willa watched, admiring the two at play. She laughed as the little girl screamed with joy as Tom caught her and lifted her onto his shoulders. 

“I’m a giant!” she giggled loudly as one had reached to touch the leaves of the trees that were still heavy from the humidity. 

Willa looked up at her daughter, and the smile that stretched from ear to ear on her face. Molly had taken a liking to Tom; he was her new favorite playmate as he often kept right up with her in energy levels. 

The three walked, Molly high on Tom’s shoulders, his hands firmly affixed to the youngsters ankles, and while it promised to be warm again, a cool breeze cut through the park, reminding them that rain was going to be visiting soon. “So Miss Molls, what should we see first?” Tom asked, as the little girl wrapped her arms around his forehead.

“Everything!” was her five-year-old specific answer.

“Well then everything it is!” he exclaimed.

Molly’s giggle and smile was perhaps brighter than what the sun could put out that day. Perched high on Tom’s shoulders, her own unique little self was shining. As much as Willa had tried to protect her daughter from the heartache of her father’s departure from their lives, it was blatantly obvious that Molly too suffered a broken heart. She didn’t act out, but the outgoing girl became reclusive for a time, happy to be holed up in her own little world. She would read, draw, play with her dolls (which, for a time, was always absent a father) and became quiet. Willa talked with her, and Molly never alluded that it bothered her that her father wasn’t around, but her mother knew. It was then when she decided that a change had to be made. They moved out of the Westminster apartment she shared with Jack, and into her parents house, where Willa’s father was always around. The change in Molly was immediately for the better. She loved having her Pop around. While Willa was a little hesitant at first with Tom being around, he and Molly formed an instant bond, and it probably formed when she ran into him the first time. The laughter that Tom could get out of Molly was symphonic to Willa’s ears. She grew more and more grateful of that little accident weeks ago. She was becoming more and more the little outgoing person she once was again, and Tom was always on Molly’s level when it came to talking or play or questions, in the few short weeks he was in her life, he paid more attention than her father did in the past two and a half years. He listened intently to every word she said, to every story she told. She wrapped him in pink feather boas or begged him to tell her stories; even Willa listened in on the rare chance he got to tell Molly a bedtime story. In such a short period of time she had already wrapped herself around his little finger. 

The trio casually walked from exhibit to exhibit. Even though this was her umpteenth visit to the zoo, Molly treated each animal she saw like it was the first time she laid eyes on them. Her reactions always full of awe and bewilderment. It was one of the reasons Willa loved and always gave in and took her. It never got old to Molly, wild eyed and excited, she now lead Tom, hand in hand, explaining the difference between zebras and horses (zebras have stripes, you know) . Willa hung back, taking in her daughter’s joy, and admired the full unbroken attention Tom was giving Molly. Willa, in fact, felt like a third wheel, and it honestly felt wonderful. 

In typical London fashion, especially in the late summer afternoons, the skies opened up and the rain began to fall. They found respite in a small cafe inside Regent’s, ordered a late lunch and relaxed after a very busy few hours.

“She is pleasantly exhausting,”Tom whispered to Willa as he sat back in his chair, content that Molly was happy with her pen and paper. “And she’s brilliantly amazing.”

Willa snickered, “She keeps me busy. She’s the reason I sleep good at night.”

“I can see why. I don’t know how you do it, you know…” Tom wanted to say “without Jack” and thought better of it. Willa sensed his train of thought and was grateful he didn’t.

“I have loads of help, and even as active as she is, she’s very easy. I can’t imagine life without her.”

Tom continued to dote on Molly and Willa felt herself grow fonder. She tried to shake it, and silently chuckled at the school girl crush that she had flourishing with her old friend.

“Are you alright?” Tom asked, touching her arm as she stared off into the distance.

Willa brought herself back to reality quickly, “Yeah, fine. Sorry.” His touch sending butterflies in flight in her belly, something that she hadn’t felt in what was possibly years. “Lost in thought.”

“About?” Tom asked, trying to delve into her daydreaming mind.

“Work, of all things,” she laughed, playing down her feelings, hoping the blush that spread on her cheeks left quickly. 

She was pleased when Molly interrupted with her newest artwork, “Look! It’s me, Tom and Mummy!” She held up the drawing, where three figures stood, all holding each others hands. Her face beamed with pride. “While we were at the zoo, like a family!”

Willa let out a nervous laugh, something that she hoped Tom didn’t pick up on, “Oh Molls, that’s so sweet. It’s very nice!”

Tom took the paper from Molly and studied it, “This is a masterpiece. Do you mind if I keep it?”

Molly’s eyes widened, and her face lit up with joy, “You like it?” she asked.

“Of course!” he replied, being very careful with the artwork, as he still held it in his hands. This is better than any picture I have ever seen. I need to have this and keep it in my office!”

Molly giggled, and her smile grew wide. “Okay, you can have it. It’s way better than any picture Mummy takes.”

Willa and Tom both snorted, and Willa kissed her daughter, “Thanks Molls. You are a true artist.”

The rain finally began to let up, and as she was readying to go, Willa realised how quiet Molly had become. When she looked to her left, the little girl had fallen fast asleep in the booth bench. 

“I think you wore her out,” Willa laughed softly as she tugged on Tom’s arm.

He looked and chuckled softly, “I guess I did.”

Without hesitation he reached in and hefted Molly into his arms. She snuggled her cheek into his shoulder and Willa was surprised that she held herself together, just at the sheer adorableness of it all.

“Two peas in a pod.” Willa smiled, “Thank you, Tom. She adores you.” 

“And I, her,” he whispered as they walked out the cafe. 

They walked in comfortable silence during the short distance from Regents Park to her parents front door, and he not once complained about the dead weight he carried. When they did talk, it usually ended up in laughter, and Willa’s thoughts easily raced back to Molly’s “as a family” remark. It could be very easy with him if she only had the nerve, but she also didn’t want to burden him with an instant family. She was more than appreciative of his friendship, which was rekindled just when she needed it most. She knew that Tom would be a great figure for Molly to look up to during Willa’s “recovery.” 

“You’re thinking again,” he laughed, as they reached the door. “Surely, I am more entertaining than work.”

“Ha, ha,” she said, opening the door and letting him in. 

The house was quiet, Willa’s parents gone for the evening. She lead him around the boxes lined in the hall, packed for moving into her new home, and up the stairs where he gently laid Molly onto her bed. She curled up on her pillow as he pulled her blanket to her shoulder, brushing the hair out of her face.

“I hope she’s out for the night, or I am in for a long one,” Willa sighed, as they left Molly’s room, leaving the door cracked a bit. His light laugh sent shivers down her spine, as they made their way quietly downstairs. “Thanks again for today. We both had a really good time.”

“Wills, it was my pleasure, really.” 

“You made it fun for her, for me. She hasn’t laughed like that in too long a time. It means a lot. Thank you.”

He took Willa in an embrace, his body enveloping hers and her skin went crazy with his touch. Her mind spinning, repeating the word “friend” over and over. He kissed her hair and then her cheek, “I’ll see you, Wills. Move Saturday, yeah?”

She nodded then sighed, her hand running the length of a box, “Yeah, final inspection tomorrow. Then it’s on our own again.”

He paused by the door, bit his lip, looked into her eyes and quickly tried to figure out what was spinning in her head, and once again kissed her cheek, “I’ll stop by, give you a hand?” 

"That would be great! I can’t wait for you to see it!" 

He smiled at Willa before he left, giving her a look that caused another round of butterflies in her belly, and she watched as he walked in the drizzle away from the house. 

“Friends, Willa,” she sighed to herself. “You’re nothing more than friends and that’s all you’ll ever be.”


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willa rekindles her friendship with Tom after a bitter divorce. Will their relationship amount to anything more than friendship or will she keep the walls she built around her and let love pass her by.

Regents Park - Chapter Four

Exhaustion.

There was clearly no other word for it, Willa was clearly knackered. A last minute deadline that had Willa both shooting and editing, plus the last minute preparation for the move, and being a mother left very little if any time for sleep. It felt that the minute she hit send on the final email to her client, the movers were knocking on the door to load all of hers and Molly’s belongings and begin their new life. Thankful the apartment was only two streets over, and under Johanna’s insistence she bought new furniture. But there were still many boxes and many personal items that needed to be handled. 

“You look dreadful,” Johanna said as she navigated the boxes.

“No thanks to your client, and their last minute changes.”

Johanna handed Willa a coffee, and lightly tapped her cheek, “The life of a well sought after photog, which is working very well in your favor.” 

Willa sighed, and looked around her parents house as the movers loaded up the last box, “Let’s do this, Jo. My new adventure awaits.”

Johanna embraced her childhood friend, “You’ve earned this, love.” 

Johanna’s transformation of the apartment was breathtaking. The three story, four bedroom 2.5 bath with a terrace apartment needed some serious work when Willa bought it at a very discounted price. Johanna and her expertise did not discourage. While Willa thought it was too big for her and Molly, Johanna pointed out that one of the bedrooms would be easily turned into an office/study which she so desperately needed. The rooftop terrace offered fantastic views of London, and it was very “Willa.” Johanna worked her magic, and created a fun and comfortable living space that Molly could easily grow up in. 

Willa was running on fumes. The movers placed the boxes in all the rooms marked, with nary a broken item, and the thought of unpacking overwhelmed her. Johanna, again had to run to fix another client emergency so it left Willa alone, exhausted, with no food and a very rowdy Molly. 

“Poor planning Willa, you’re better than this,” she said to herself as she rifled through a box looking for a takeaway menu. 

“Mum! I’m hungry!” Molly reitified.

“Get your trainers, we’re gonna have to go out.”

“I can’t find them!” was Molly’s immediate answer, accentuated with a whine, and getting close to Willa’s last, exhausted nerve.

“Molly, you need to look harder, love!” she said, as a loud knock on the front door startled her. 

Not expecting anyone, and really not remembering if she was or not, she threw open the door and cast a glare. Tom took a step back and held up the bags in his hands in front of him, “I’ve come with take away and I’ve gone to Sainsbury’s”

Willa laughed, and immediately wanted to cry. “How…?”

“Jo texted me,” he interrupted, “That you needed a hand, and some supper.”

Willa exhaled, and brushed a tear from her eye, “You’re amazing.”

“No, you’re amazing. Come on, let me put these away and get you girls fed.”

Molly bounded down the stairs, and hugged his legs, “I think Mummy’s tired.”

“Well let’s give Mum a hand,” Tom smiled. “I got some fish and chips - no skin, some cupboard and refrigerator essentials… and champagne, because, well, we’re celebrating.”

Willa smiled and hugged him, grateful for friends that loved and looked after her, and even more grateful for the hot supper that Tom had in his hands. “Well, welcome! This is it, this is mine and Molly’s”

She lead him into the kitchen, and found a place on the counter for the groceries and Molly cleared off the table. “And I cannot thank you enough for this.”

“You’re welcome, love,” he laughed. “If you need anything else, just let me know.”

“Oh this is fine, and I am going to be very unlady-like because I am ravenous,” she said, even more grateful when he placed a bottle of malt vinegar for her chips in front of her, and her smile reached ear to ear. “Again, amazing. Definitely amazing.”

“I’m glad I could help,” he laughed. “And it looks like in the knick of time!” 

It may have been the best fish and chips Willa had eaten, and she would be quick to assume Molly thought so too since she hardly left a crumb. Full bellies, level blood sugar, and a clearer line of thought, Willa sat back in her chair and exhaled deeply. “Remind me to make myself completely unavailable the next time I have a thought to move.”

Tom laughed, “I will gladly remind you. So this is it, this is your apartment?” 

Willa jumped up, “I’m horrible, let me give you the tour. I got so wrapped up in myself…”

“Willa, it’s fine, you’re preoccupied with hunger.”

She rolled her eyes and began her tour. She was proud of this find, the main floor had it’s reception room, living area, kitchen, dining and a water closet. It opened to a garden/backyard, perfect for Molly. The second floor had three bedrooms and another reception/play room. One bedroom of course became an office, one for Molly, and one that was going to house Johanna until her flat was finished, the two main bedrooms had ensuite bathrooms which was shared with the office. Up the stairs was Willa’s master suite. It was a good size, with it’s own bathroom, but what sold her was that it opened up to a rooftop terrace. The view of London was spectacular. Johanna had the terrace redone, with stairs that lead down to the garden. She had outdoor seating installed, and also made it element friendly so Willa could enjoy it in the rain or snow. 

“This, this is beautiful” Tom said as he walked the terrace.

“It’s what pretty much sold me,” Willa replied as she sat on a bench. “This just took my breath away.” 

Tom stood and faced the skyline, “I could possibly stay out here all day.” Willa laughed, “It’s even more beautiful at night.”

“Willa, this is a gorgeous home. Perfect for your new start.”

She blushed, “Thank you. I still thinks it’s a little much for Molly and myself, but with Johanna here for a bit it will be nice.” 

“No, no, you can grow in this place.”

Willa bit her lip, and her mind hung on the the word “grow” and the fact that it hung from his lips. She turned her head and cleared her throat trying to push the thought of “growth” out of her head. The addition to her family that she had longed for, the family that her and Jack had planned. Growth. That part of her life was stagnant, and she feared over, and she wasn’t sure if she would ever get it back.

“Willa?” Tom asked, bringing her thoughts back to reality.

She shook her head, and placed her hand to her forehead, “I’m sorry, I’m spacing out on you. Lack of sleep is catching up to me. I just need to stay awake until Johanna get’s back or Molly passes out. Whichever comes first.”

“Tell me what I need to do, let me help you out,” he said, taking a seat next to her. 

She laughed softly, “Oh, it’s okay. I’ll manage.”

He sighed loudly, “Wills, you always refuse my help, let me help you out.” 

She knew he was right, and she laughed lightly, “The kitchen, just help with the kitchen and I will be at peace.” 

They shared a laugh and he followed her down the stairs into the kitchen. “Well, as long as this gives you peace.”

The two, with some big help from Molly, unpacked dishes and glasses, sorted through boxes of bake ware and silverware, lined and organised the cabinets and within no time, Willa’s kitchen was deemed useful. She hung a couple of tea towels on her oven door, and then let herself fall back into a chair.

“I am spent,” Willa sighed, rubbing her eyes, as Molly sat next to her and mimicked her. “Bath and bed for you, young lady.” 

Molly pouted and crossed her arms, as Tom added, “And shower and bed for you too, young lady. I’ll handle Miss Molly’s bedtime.”

Willa was about to wave him off again, but her exhausted self was honestly thrilled for his help. “That sounds like a plan.” 

She drew Molly’s bath and washed her hair, and told Tom to give her a few minutes to play. Willa climbed the few stairs to her bedroom, and stood over her suitcases looking for a set of decent pajamas. “Fuck,” she sighed, “I really need to go shopping.” 

She settled on a tank top and yoga pants, started her shower and now knew Johanna wasn’t kidding when she talked her into the rain style shower heads, with the massage units on the side. She didn’t know if it was exhaustion or her silly crush that allowed the butterflies to flourish, but they were there. Her thoughts raced to the man that was in her living room and how she wished he was in the shower with her. His hands, oh those hands, on her body, massaging away the ache from little sleep and over exertion.

“Oh, Willa,” she chuckled to herself as she rinsed her hair. “This needs to stop.” 

She toweled off, and dried her hair as much as she could, dressed, checked on

Molly who had already passed out, and made her way downstairs where Tom was in the kitchen making tea and readying champagne.

“Thank you, again, for your help today,” she said, gently placing her hand on his back.

“My pleasure,” he said as he readied some teacups and flutes.

“Odd combination,” Willa smiled as he pointed her towards the sectional.

“Yes, but it will work. Go. Sit.”

Willa snickered, and did as prompted, turning on the television and propping her feet up on the ottoman. She started up her favorite Rowan Atkinson movie and snuggled down as she waited for Tom. “Too bad it’s raining,” he said from the kitchen, “we could sit up on the terrace.” 

“Mmmhmm,” Willa mumbled, comfortable, pulling a blanket over her.

Tom joined her, bringing a tray with the tea, champagne and some snacks and placed it on the ottoman next to Willa’s feet. She sat up with a discouraged tone, which made Tom laugh, “If you don’t sit up, you’ll miss all of Mr. Bean!”

She rolled her eyes as Tom handed her a flute, “I’d wait for Johanna to toast her wonderful job on your home, but it looks like she will be longer than expected and sends her apologies. I do want to congratulate you on your new house, your new beginning, your wonderful beautiful attitude towards life, and your relentless smile. Wills, you deserve all the good fortune heading your way, and I’m honored to be by your side, as a friend, as a confidante and drinking companion. And as they say in old Celt; ‘Wishing you always walls for the wind, a roof for the rain, tea beside the fire, and the love and laughter of those you hold dear.’” 

Willa smiled as they clinked glasses, “Thank you, Tom.”

Champagne finished, tea lazily being sipped, Willa relaxed in the comfort of her friend. She curled up, propping a pillow against his outer thigh, and pulled the blanket around around her.

“Comfortable?” he asked, a laugh in his tone.

“Very,” she yawned, not really caring if this was borderline platonic or not, she was very comfortable. 

Tom placed his arm at her side, coming to rest on her hip. She grinned to herself, enjoying the feel of the warmth of his hand through the blanket. She didn’t know if it was subconscious or if on purpose, as his thumb gently rubbed her hip, She fought sleep as long as she could, basking in the company and the touch, and finally gave in a little more than half way through the movie.

“You lasted longer than I expected,” Tom whispered, kicking his feet up on the ottoman, careful not to move Willa too much.

He finished the movie, then turned off the box, Willa sleeping soundly next to him, her soft sleeping noises, made him smile. His Wills. She nestled deeper against him, and he pulled the blanket to her shoulder as she muttered something unintelligible in her sleep. He adjusted again, and found his eyes heavy. He catnapped, until he heard Johanna enter the house.

“What a sorry lot you are,” she said, stifling a laugh. “She is moveable you know.”

“She’s comfortable,” he countered.

Johanna snicked, “Or you’re comfortable,” she waggled her eyebrows at him. He scoffed at her, knowing she was right. “You’re on your own in that department. I think she has the friendzone on ya, love.”

He chuckled lightly, as he slowly and gently slipped away from her, making sure her head was resting on the pillow. “If she does, that’s perfectly fine. Her friendship means the world to me.”

“Regardless, she’s pretty hooked on you. Don’t fuck it up.”

He shook his head, “Tell her I’ll catch her later, and if she needs anything to call me.”

“Will do, love,” she said, receiving a kiss on her cheek.

“And you did a remarkable job on this apartment.”

“Yeah, keep me in mind when you’re ready for yours, okay.”

He chuckled, “Good night, Jo.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Jo, I’m not sure."

Willa stared in the mirror, a blank look reflecting as she curled her hair. She had a sick feeling in her stomach, anxiety most likely, as she readied herself for the date that Johanna had set up for her.

“I can’t believe I am doing this,” she sighed. “I can’t believe I agreed to this.” 

Jo, who was sprawled out on Willa’s bed, replied, “I’m not asking you to marry him, Willa. It’s just a date.”

“But Vic? Victor Hendricks, the special effects guy? He’s a bit of a wanker,”

“He fancies you. Always has. And you have to agree he’s not hard on the eyes.”

Willa exhaled loudly, “There’s something about him. I don’t know.”

“Yes, he has a penis and he’s single,” Jo said, “Again, it’s a date.”

Willa rolled her eyes in response, “I still can’t believe I agreed to this.”

“Well, you did, and who knows, you may have a good time.”

“Yeah, with Vic,” Willa sighed as she grabbed her sweater and her purse and began her descent down the stairs. “Don’t keep Molly up too late.”

“Yes, Mum,” Johanna laughed. “And have fun. He may not be that bad.” 

Willa nervously fidgeted on the way to the restaurant. If she didn’t show, Johanna would never let it go and she required a two date minimum. All she had to do was get through a few hours tonight and Friday night and then she would be free of Vic Hendricks. She pulled out her phone and saw there was already a text from Tom, and how she wished she was brave enough to own up to her own feelings. It should be him that she was going to dinner with. 

“I know Jo’s with Molly, if he get’s weird text LOKI, and I will come by.” 

She laughed, “Loki” and the protective vibe made her feel some relief. “I can’t believe I am doing this, but thanks for the code word.”

Victor was waiting outside as her car pulled up to the restaurant, and very politely opened the door for her. “Hi Willa,” he said, kissing her hand.

“Victor. It’s good to see you,” she said trying to be as cordial as he was.

He lead her into the restaurant where a table was waiting, with wine already open and breathing. He helped her into her chair and sat opposite her, his smile wide but she could tell he was nervous.

“Wow, Willa, you look great. I was kind of floored when Jo said you wanted to go out,” he started.

Willa raised an eyebrow. She would have to get on Jo about that one. “Oh. Well thanks. Still kind of getting used to this dating thing. Thanks for being my first victim.”

He laughed nervously, but her joke broke the ice. The conversation at first was light, interrupted by the waiter for their orders and small talk about the restaurant, life and work. Since they worked out of the same office, he asked about Molly, and the photography side of the business. 

This is not too bad, Willa thought to herself at first. He’s being quite cordial and not as full of himself as he is at the office.

The pair drank their wine and the waiter brought out their dinners. It was then when he started talking about himself. All his projects, and all the big names he was associated with. He talked about how Jack had promised him work with the BBC years ago (No points, at all for that one, Willa thought to herself). He talked and he talked, and Willa just smiled and nodded and hoped he hadn’t wanted dessert. 

She contemplated every imaginable way to weasel her way out, but he continued to talk. Her phone, which lay in front of her, was silent and she wished that she could text the code word and be rescued. Instead Victor talked, about his past “trophies” and girls in the office who were just “stuck up.”

“I thought you were one, but it turns out you’re pretty cool,” Victor said, bringing Willa back to Earth.

“Was one, what?” she asked, knitting her brows together.

He stuttered a bit, “I mean, you’re hardly in the office, so I can’t really lump you in with all the others.”

“Oh,” Willa mouthed and her mind raced to find a quick-witted remark to no avail. 

“In fact, I thought you were a lesbian. I mean, you are close to Johanna. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

Willa scoffed, “No and no. That shouldn’t even matter if I was or not, or if she is.” 

Victor waved his hands trying to retract his statement, “You’re right. I’m wrong. I’m really fucking this up.”

Willa smiled at his sheer honesty, “Well, per Johanna’s deal, you still have one more go.”

“I wouldn’t hold you to that,” he said. 

“Awkward first dates. Johanna always has a two date minimum.”

Victor flashed a smile, and she couldn’t believe that he was giving her an opt out and she refused to take it. 

“Friday then,” he said, “We’ll do what you want.”

Willa smiled her answer, and thought, How bad could it be?

Victor paid the bill, and walked Willa out to a car, and they sealed their plans that Friday night. She was relieved to be in the car headed home. She did know that Vic was not boyfriend material, but was glad that the first first date since Jack was done and over with. She pulled out her phone and texted Tom, “Survived.”

“Good. Pub tomorrow night?” he replied.

“Yes please! I need my normalcy.”

“If normal is kicking your arse in darts, then we’re on.”

She laughed at his reply, and her heart fluttered. “Friends, Willa,” she sighed. “You’re only friends.”

The week went on as usual. Willa, Molly and Johanna continued to settle into the house, and she was more than happy to meet up with her friends at the pub the following night to lay into Johanna.

“He’s a prat, and all he did was talk about himself. I couldn’t get a word in at all,” Willa explained as she fiddled with a coaster. “Then he thought I was a lesbian.” Tom snickered, and she glared, “Shut up.”

“Oh, love. If you were a lesbian or bisexual you wouldn’t be single,” Johanna said tucking her finger under Willa’s chin.

“Exactly,” Willa replied. “And you telling him that I wanted to go out.”

Johanna scoffed, “I said nothing of the sort.”

“Mmmhmm,” Willa rolled her eyes. “And now I have one more date with him. Thanks, Jo.”

Jo laughed, “Well if I’m failing so bad at the hook-ups, Tom, you do the honors the next go around. Give Willa the hook up.”

Tom laughed and waved them off, “I couldn’t do that to you, Willa.”

“What you have no single friends?” Willa asked, a little surprised at herself.

“I do, but I hold you in a very high respect,” he replied.

“He’d probably hook you up with Fassbender, and he’d break you in half,” Johanna laughed as she got up from the table, and made her way to the bar

Willa again rolled her eyes, and rested her chin on her palm, “None?”

“Wills, I’ll see what I can do.” He sat back in his chair and looked at her, as she batted her eyes at him. It took every bit of will not to lean in and kiss her. 

“Thank you,” she smiled, and kissed his cheek.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Willa’s plans that Friday kept them close to home so an escape would be easier. Dinner at the Garden Cafe in Regents Park and then a walk to the pub (where Jo and Tom would be, unbeknownst to Victor). She was hoping the more informal atmosphere would help with her anxiety. She still felt uneasy about the whole thing. There was just something that didn’t sit in her mind right at all. She pushed it aside, after all she just needed to finish this one last date. 

Dinner went well. The conversation focused on her mostly, which astonished her. Victor paid attention to every detail when she spoke. It flowed easy this time. Maybe they needed an informal date. Victor was actually being likeable. 

He ordered another round of drinks with dessert, and Willa excused herself to the restroom to text her cohorts.

“Going better. Still want you at the pub.”

“Getting ready to leave your place now. t&j”

Willa smiled, and knew that it wouldn’t be a totally wasted Friday night. An okay date, that ended up in the company of her best friends was a call for a very successful evening.

She made her way back to the table where a tiramisu was waiting, along with fresh drinks. She smiled at Victor, who handed her a spoon, “Your casual idea was great. Much more comfortable than dinner the other night,” he said.

“I knew you’d agree.”

“So maybe date three?” he asked, with a laugh.

Willa smirked, “We’ll see about that.”

They finished their dessert, and paid the bill, and set to walk to the other side of the park to the pub. Willa stood up, and felt woozy, and shook it off; “Are you okay?” Victor asked, hand on her arm to help stabilize her.

“Yeah. Drink was a little stronger than I thought,” she replied with a laugh.

“The walk to the pub will do you good,” he added. “Some fresh air.”

Willa shook her head to gain some leverage and smiled up at Victor, “You’re probably right.” 

The pub had it’s general Friday night crowd. The patio full and a band was playing Irish pub music. She caught sight of her friends, Tom dancing with Jo as the band played. Jo caught Willa’s eye and she gave a wave, and Willa gave her a “so so” hand gesture. 

“Drink?” Vic asked as he leaned against the bar. 

“Ummm, red wine. I don’t think me and mixed drinks are getting along tonight.” she answered as she caught George the bartender’s attention. George, attentive as always, pinched her cheek and introduced himself to her new “friend,” as he poured her wine and Victor a beer. “Have fun lass,” he said. “Go be young.”

Willa turned and found a table, and grabbed Victor’s arm. Her face felt flush, the drinks from the cafe were really hitting her now. She sipped her wine as the band played “Irish Rover,” which made her jump up and grab Victor’s arm. “Let’s dance!”

Victor grinned, “Absolutely!” 

Willa felt buzzed. Her head swimming in what felt like an alcohol haze. They finished their dance, and she sat back down at the table, taking another sip of her wine. “I need to pace myself,” she giggled.

“The night is young, Willa love,” Victor smiled, as he looked into her eyes.

“Don’t call me that,” she smirked, giving him a tempting eye. “Yet.”

Victor chuckled, “Should I order you another glass?”

Willa nodded. “Yea. One more, and that’s it.”

“You got it,” he said and went to the bar to get the next round. 

Willa, after three drinks, felt as drunk as she may have been doing shots of whisky all night. Victor placed the fourth in front of her, and she laughed, and couldn’t quite figure out why she was getting buzzed so quickly. Again, they danced, and Willa felt really good, if she was feeling anything at all. She felt like she was on another plane of existence, and all there was was the music, her glass of wine, and Victor.

She let him grope her, his hands on her ass as they danced extremely close. She hung on him like she would a lover. She was no longer in control of her body. 

Johanna, caught a glimpse of her best friend and grabbed Tom.

“That’s not Willa,” she yelled. “What the fuck did he do to my Willa!”

Tom, turned his head to see what Jo had seen, Willa in the corner in a deep and seeded kiss with Victor.

“Fuck,” Tom said, as he felt Johanna pull him towards them. 

Johanna grabbed Willa,and pulled the two apart.

“Whoa whoa whoa!” Victor yelled,being taken by surprise “Dammit Johanna, don’t ruin my vibe!”

“Fuck your vibe!” she yelled, as she handed a very intoxicated Willa over to Tom. “What did you do to her! Where’s her drink?”

“The fuck you going on about? She’s just had too much.”

George, who heard the melee, with three of his favorite patrons came over to investigate. “What’s goin’ on, Jo.”

Tom, who was balancing Willa who was now groping him, grabbed her glass and brought it over to the bar. Victor tried to knock it out of his hand, but Tom had forethought and held it high above his head. 

“I think he’s drugged her drink,” she said though her teeth.

“Fuck you,” Victor spat, as George called over the officer present at the pub. 

He pulled a test kit from behind the bar, and took the glass from Tom’s hand. The officer took a test strip, dipped it in Willa’s wine glass and they waited and watched, Jo’s glare never leaving Victor’s, as the litmus turned the strip turned the positive colour.

“It’s positive for Rohypnol,” the officer said then sealing the test in an evidence bag. He then turned Victor to take him outside to place him in handcuffs.

Johanna fumed, “You FUCK! How much did you give her?!”

“She needed to relax! She needs a good fuck too! I was only helping her out!” Victor sassed. 

"You planned to rape her!" Jo yelled as Victor shrugged and smirked at her.

Tom lunged after him. His blue eyes dark and furious, grabbing Victor by the shirt.

The officer who had called a paramedic for Willa, came back just in time to break up the fight.

“I could kill you,” Tom muttered through his teeth as he glared.

“Like you’d risk your career,” Victor mocked.

“She’s worth it.”

Johanna had managed to get Willa outside onto the patio, away from the crowd. A paramedic was already there to check her, even though there was really nothing to do but let her sleep it off. As Victor passed them to the car, Johanna stood and said, “Your desk will be packed for you, and your check put in the post. Do not show your face in my office again.”

“Fuck off, whore,” he spat as he was put into the car. 

The officer came back over and got some information off of Jo, as Tom sat with Willa while paramedics checked her.

“I really really fancy you, Tom,” she slurred, her finger tracing his cheekbones and jawline as her vitals were checked.

He smiled, and stroked her hair, his heart breaking. Even while severely intoxicated her naïveté showed through, “When you tell me that sober, Wills, I will believe you.”

Johanna rejoined them as the paramedic finished, “She should be okay. She may vomit so someone will need to stay with her tonight to make sure if she does she doesn’t choke. Other than that, she’s going to have one major hangover tomorrow. Luckily that is all she will have to contend with. You’re good friends to catch on to her behavior. “

“Oh Willa,” Jo whimpered, as Willa leaned into Tom. “They are calling us a car, there’s no way we are walking her home.”

“I don’t want to go home,” Willa drunkenly protested, and pouted.

It was all Jo could do to keep herself together, and Tom noticed, “Jo, it’s not your fault. You didn’t know.”

She waved him off, unable to speak as she watched her drugged best friend try to keep her eyes open. The car came around, and by the time the five minute trip was over, Willa had already passed out. Tom gingerly took her in his arms as Jo opened the door, and walked up the three small flights of stairs and gently placed her on her bed. 

“I need to get her changed, so she’s at least comfortable,” Jo sighed.

“What do you need me to do?” Tom asked. “I’ll stay all night if you need me to.”

Johanna, usually the strong and stable one, blinked back tears, “Thank you. She has her night clothes in that bottom drawer.”

Tom went to the dresser as Jo tugged off Willa’s boots, and began to strip her down. Tom being respectful, turned his back until Jo had enough with trying to get her bottoms back on and asked for his help to get her under the covers at least. When they made sure Willa was as comfortable as possible, Johanna finally let go. 

“I don’t know if I want to scream or cry. I can’t believe this happened. She trusted me.”

"Jo, don’t blame yourself, the only one at fault here is Victor. There was no way to know.”

She bit her lip, anger present on her face, “She’s so naive, she’s too trusting, I should have known better, should have prevented this, instead I forced her out. Go Willa, get out. Go date, go live! What if we weren’t there, Tom? This is all on me! She trusted me! He was going to… ” Johanna covered her mouth as she felt her stomach lurch, unable and unwilling to complete her thought, the word hanging, echoing in her mind. She wiped at the hot angry tears that burned her cheeks. “I keep fucking forgetting she’s not me.”

"Jo," he said, his voice calm and resonating. "She’ll recover." 

She huffed, and sat on the end of the bed, “Recovery is one thing, forgiveness is a completely different story. God will she ever forgive me for this.”

"She loves you, Jo. If there is one thing I’m sure of is her unconditional love for you." 

Jo stood up, forced a smile at him, sniffled, and wiped at more tears, “Thank you for staying with us; with me.” She shook her head as she looked at Willa, “I have a feeling tomorrow will be a rough day. I suggest we prepare for it.”


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willa rekindles her friendship with Tom after a bitter divorce. Will their relationship amount to anything more than friendship or will she keep the walls she built around her and let love pass her by.

Willa felt heavy. 

Heavy was the only way to describe it. Her eyes, her limbs, the duvet covering her body; heavy. She couldn’t move, nor did she want to. Her eyelids would barely flutter. She moved her head a little bit which caused a searing pain to envelope her. She groaned and her own voice raked her ears, echoing in her ear drums. She felt cemented to where ever it was she was laying.

As much as it hurt to think, she had too. As much as her eyelids hurt she had to open them, fear surged through her, tripling the pain. 

“Open your eyes Willa. Open them.” she thought to herself. Her voice loud in her head. She groaned again, her eyelids still fighting against her. 

Finally. little slits of light were visible. Hazy, blurry images, as her eyelids continued their resistance. She concentrated on where she lay, the sheets, begging for familiarity, Her hand slowly clutched the sheet, and she forcefully inhaled, fighting for anything familiar. The faint scent of her shampoo in the pillow slightly put her mind at ease as she still struggled to move, to do anything. She could tell there was light, she wasn’t sure if it was sun or artificial. 

“Oh Willa, what have you gotten yourself into. This could be bad. Maybe it would be better to keep your eyes shut.” Her thoughts raced,fear, slamming against her head, making the throbbing pain worse. 

This was bad. 

She tried to remember. She vaguely remembered the pub. Did they go to the pub? All she could remember was the tiramisu, and Victor. “Oh God, Victor. No no no no.”

Willa finally found her voice, and the strength to move, even though it was very minute, she had too. She summoned all her strength, everything she had to eek out a meeger “Oh God, no.”

Johanna woke quickly upon hearing Willa’s voice. She saw what looked like an internal struggle as Willa writhed and she gently placed a hand on her best friends shoulder.

“Willa.” she whispered, “It’s okay. You’re home.”

A bit of relief flooded through Willa. Jo’s voice was music to her painfully muddled ears. “Jo?” she squeaked.

“I’m here, Willa. You’re safe.”

Tom, hearing the quiet conversation stirred from the reading chair adjacent to Willa’s bed and he quickly moved to her side, “Willa, it’s okay, you can open your eyes.” he said.

She knew that voice, too. Tom. Tom was there too. She was safe though the concern in their voices frightened her. “It’s too bright. It hurts. Everything hurts.”

She felt the bed shift as Tom got up to close the blinds and curtains, making the room darker. “Tom closed the curtains. It’s okay.”

Her hand went to her forehead and her eyelids fluttered adjusting to the remaining light in the room, trying to focus on her two friends. She squinted and rolled on her back, feeling all of the blood rush, all over her organs shift, and felt her stomach lurch “Oh God. Jo, I need the loo. Willa managed to sit up, with Jo and Tom’s help, and as she stood, the duvet slipped, as Willa had somehow wriggled out of her top, and Jo panicked,

“Willa you’re topless. Where’s your shirt.”

Willa waved Jo off, “If Tom hasn’t seen tits then there’s a bigger issue than what’s going on here. I need the bathroom.”

Johanna hid her laughter, although Willa’s quick wit was refreshing. Situated in the bathroom, Tom left and grabbed a t-shirt from her closet, leaving it on the bathroom vanity, “Thank you.” Jo sighed, as he closed the door, leaving the girls to their privacy. 

“I don’t know if I have to pee or puke.” Willa mumbled.

“Pick one, then we’ll deal with the other.”

Willa sat on the toilet, her best friend settled on the floor in front her, watching as Willa still wavered, still in the clutches of vertigo. Willa rested her head in her hands, “Jo, what did I drink last night? How much did I drink? Why can’t I remember?”

Johanna sighed, Willa had no idea and there was no way she could explain this by herself. 

“Are you done?” Jo asked softly. Willa nodded as Jo got up and grabbed the t-shirt off the vanity, and gently placed it over her friends head. She helped Willa up and lead her to the plush reading chair that Tom spent most of the night in. 

The room still spinning Willa closed her eyes, “Make it stop, Jo. make it stop spinning.” 

“It will, love. Give it time.” Jo sighed, glad Tom reappeared with water, tea and paracetamol. 

Tom opened a water bottle and shook out two tablets and placed them in Willa’s hand. “Sip slow.” he said. 

She did as he instructed, the cold water feeling like heaven on her parched throat. She noticed their long faces, and realized that Johanna still hadn’t answered her questions she asked from moments earlier “Will someone please tell me what the fuck is going on. Why are you both in my room. What the fuck happened last night?”

Johanna inhaled sharply, and looked to Tom for support. “There was a problem with Victor last night.”

Willa leaned into her hand, still trying to remember anything after dinner and couldn’t, “Is he alright? I don’t remember much or anything from after dinner?” 

“He’s fine Willa…unfortunately.” Johanna muttered.

Willa knitted her brows together,not understanding Johanna’s tone “Unfortunately?” 

“Willa,” Tom began taking her hands in his, and took a deep breath “Victor spiked your drinks with Rohypnol, we’re not sure how much he gave you, but his intentions were very clear to harm you last night.”

Willa blinked as she processed what Tom had just told her, head swimming with so much information in so few words, the last ones going over and over in her head. She looked down at her hands, as Toms thumbs gently caressed hers. Her breathing hitched, the first and primal fear when she woke coming true, and both Johanna and Tom saw that fear set in her eyes.

“Harm. Me,” she muttered, her heart racing.

“Willa,” He said as she took her hands from his and crossed them over her chest. 

“Harm. Me,” she muttered again, her lip quivering. Her thoughts raced trying to place dinner last night until she woke up this morning, and all the missing time in between. She shivered, and tears began to pool at her eyes. Her brain began to over think the aches and pains of the drug that were still affecting her. She felt vulnerable and exposed, the tears began to fall, “What did…what did he do? Did he?” She found the courage to look at her friends through watery eyes, knowing their faces would give away anything they tried to sugarcoat.

Johanna, sensing Willa’s defenselessness, grabbed a blanket of the bed and covered Willa’s lap as she knelt in front of her. “No, Willa,” she sighed as she brushed a strand of hair away from Willa’s face, “Tom and I, we noticed that you weren’t yourself.” Willa looked up at her friends, clutching the blanket that covered her lap, looking for more information, but so afraid to ask it. “He didn’t directly hurt you, love.”

“I wasn’t myself?” Willa sniffled.

Johanna sighed, closing her eyes trying to shake the memory of watching the person she was closest to, the one person in the world who truly loved her, being handled against her own knowing will. She swallowed hard the emotion that swelled in her throat, “I caught him with you before…. before he got too far. I’m sorry, Willa.”

Willa sobbed, anger and sadness joined the fear that was setting in her mind. “Too far,” she said as her arms tightened across her chest. “Too far.” 

“Willa,” Tom said softly trying to regain her focus. 

Willa sniffled, the pain that enveloped her body unrelenting, but the anger welled. She rubbed her face with her hands, her tears becoming hotter, and she began to shake.

“Willa?” Johanna added.

Willa sobbed, wincing as her head throbbed and breathed out, “He was going to rape me.” The words stung, and they inflamed. She shuddered again, and let out a half sob half groan that emulated her anger and pain. She brought her eyes to her friends and her face contorted, “He. Was going to RAPE me.”

She clenched her fists and shook, anger over taking her, ”FUCK! Is this what I’ve become? So fucking naive! God dammit, Willa! Is there a sign on my back, ‘Please shatter my life, go ahead, my heart can take it’. FUCK! I didn’t do anything! I didn’t lead him on, I wore jeans and a T-shirt for fucks sake! Was it because I denied his opt out, and told him we should have the second date, because I was being NICE? Why? 

"Willa," Jo interrupted seeing a fire that she’s never quite seen in her friends eye before. 

"No," Willa continued sobbing Jo as she stood up and walked shakily to the edge of the bed. "I’m not some piece of rubbish. I’m done with being someone’s rubbish, someone’s trash. I’ve been abandoned, and now nearly raped, because I was being the NICE girl. I’m done. I’m so fucking done.” 

Willa heaved a heavy sob, the room spinning forcing her to close her eyes, and hold on to the bed for support. She looked at Tom and Johanna, who were now insistent on letting her finish, “I have the balls now,” she spat. “Mine. For Molly and for me, because I will be damned if this happens again, or if this will ever happen to Molly.”

Willa sank to the edge of the bed, the vertigo overcoming her. She felt someone crawl behind her and wrapped their arms around her. Johanna. She leaned back into her best friend, resting her head against Jo’s chest and let the emotion overtake her. Her sobs wracked heavy in Johanna’s arms. “I’ve waited so long for you to say those words,” Jo whispered into Willa’s hair. “You are the most beautiful, strong woman I know.”

“Then why am I treated so ugly?’

“Most good hearted, kind and loving people are, darling,” Tom replied, sitting next to her, careful in his own conscious not to touch her. Not now.

“I feel so dirty.”

“I know. I know. I’m so sorry love,” Jo whispered. 

"Where is he? Victor?" she sniffled.

"They took him away last night. I’m not sure if he made bail or not. The police may come by later today if you’re up to it to ask some questions," Jo explained her hold on Willa tightening. 

Willa nodded and wiped more tears. “Thank you both. You saved my dignity and quite possibly my life last night. I owe you both so much.” Willa heard Jo begin to say something and she put her finger Jo’s lips. “Don’t even go there, Johanna. This could have happened with anyone.” 

Jo sighed, and Willa reached out and took Tom’s hand. ”I love you both, so much.”

Jo drew Willa a bath, and Tom decided to quickly go home to change and get some seasick medicine for the vertigo that still had its hold on Willa. As Willa bathed, Johanna called Esther and told her what happened at the pub, and not to worry, but if she could keep Molly for another night. Esther, of course, obliged, and would be over with homemade soup and to check on her daughter. The three laid about, stretched out on the sectional, Willa mostly sleeping as the spinning barely ceased and it just felt better with her eyes closed. 

The police did come by to ask Willa a few questions. When she was told that Victor would probably make bail that evening, she felt sick to her stomach. The automatic restraining order was just paper, and a bit of fear surged through her. She felt empowered though when asked if she wanted to press charges, and a resounding “Yes” poured from her lips quickly. 

It took four days. Four days for her head to stop spinning. Four days for Willa to step into the pub. Four days for her to enjoy time with her friends in one of her favorite places. Four days to enjoy a beer, poured by her favorite bartender. Four short days that may have been the longest in her life, but when she stepped into the crowded pub, she felt like she was reawakened, or as she thought to herself, “Your balls finally dropped, Willa.”

~*~*~*~*

Jo kept her busy, Molly kept her busier. Time passed faster than Willa imagined it would. Life continued, as it always does. Take Molly to school, work, dance class, dinner, play, then work again became routine. It was what Willa wanted. 

“Dancing Friday? We haven’t gone dancing in ages!” Jo whined as Willa culled through images of her latest photo shoot. It had been a few weeks after the incident with Victor and things finally felt a bit normal.

“Maybe, depends on if the boss gives me the night off,” she grinned her reply

“Smartass,” Jo said, rolling her eyes. “You can of course have a night off to go out. I INSIST you take time to go out.”

“Jo we aren’t going there,” Willa reminded.

“No, we aren’t, but I do love it when you laugh, and have fun…with me!”

Willa laughed, “Let’s make a date, I’ll have Mum watch Molls.”

“Bloody fantastic!” Jo cheered as she danced across the room. “We could definitely use a girls’ night!”

Willa was swamped. Three clients had last minute changes, which had her glued to her desk nearly all day culling and editing and trying to keep her hopes up for escape with Johanna. She almost expected the text from Jo cancelling, and when it came, she tried her best not to dwell on it. With Molly at her Nana’s, Willa decided it would probably be best to dive into the workload and knock some of it out in order to enjoy the weekend with Molly. So when there was a knock on the door she was taken by complete surprise. She bounded down the stairs, and was taken aback when she looked through the peephole.

“Tom?” she said, knowing full well he had a key He was dressed, rather nicely and it caught her breath. “Did you forget your key?”

“Umm, no,” he laughed, with a grin that made her weaker as he rocked on his heels. “You’ve actually got 15 minutes to change, because you’re going out tonight. On a date. With me. I am the hook up you asked me for a couple of weeks ago”

Willa knitted her eyebrows, and shook her head at him, “What?”

“Fifteen minutes Willa,” he reminded, “I have of course, cleared this with your boss, and we have reservations.” She continued to stand there, as Tom squeezed past her, “Again, you look real lovely in yoga pants and a hoodie, but think this place would prefer something a little more dressed.”

“Right,” she sighed, “Dressed.”

Willa turned and ran up the stairs, her heart racing. “What the fuck?” she muttered as she threw open her bedroom closet. She stared at her dresses, trying to catch her breath, scanning over each one, “He wants a surprise, I’ll give him a surprise.”

She picked out a little black dress, that hugged at her waist and flared just above her knee. Grateful for the shower she took earlier, she took her hair out of the top knot it was in, and her long brown locks flowed around her shoulders in sexy curls.

“Five minutes, Willa,” she heard him call.

She rolled her eyes, as she quickly applied her eye makeup a little blush and some lipstick, grabbed her clutch and a cardigan, slipped into a pair of red heels, and made her way down the stairs.

“Wow,” he mouthed as he watched her descent, reaching out for her hand. “Fifteen minutes. I’m impressed!”

She smiled, basking in the way he looked at her, “What?” she sighed taking his hand, trying to decipher her friends look.

“Gorgeous,” he replied. “Simply gorgeous, as always.”

She laughed, feeling her cheeks blush a bit, “Thank you.” 

A car was waiting and he helped her in, always the gentleman, and it was the first time Willa, since the quick amount of time he showed up at her door, was able to catch her breath. 

“Did Jo put you up to this?” she asked knowing that Jo was irritated having to call off girls night.. 

He scoffed, “No, actually. I had been meaning to do this for quite some time. Just you and I, dinner and wherever the night leads us.”

Willa wasn’t sure what to think. Her belly flipped flopped and and she shrugged away her nervousness. Friendly dates, those exist, dates between friends, she thought as she caught Tom casting an eye at her. “What?” she laughed.

“I want to know what’s going on in that head of yours,” he stated.

“I’m trying to figure this out!” she giggled.

“Stop,” he said. “And let’s just have a nice evening out.”

Dinner was amazing. A private table and a bottle of wine waiting. The conversation of course was easy. He made her laugh, and when she laughed, the world could stop turning and he would never know. He savored it, sweet music to his ears, the way her eyes lit up, and her cheeks would blush, finished with the giggle that always followed, which if you asked him, was his favorite thing. They talked about her work, his upcoming press tour that he would be leaving for in two days, they talked about Molly and all the little five year old quirks she was developing. It was simple. It was invigorating.

He pulled her out onto the dance floor, and granted she was willing, he could tell she was tense. Willa was still over thinking, and he sensed it. “Relax,” he whispered into her ear, his voice resonating in places where Willa knew it shouldn’t. She finally laced her fingers with his, and let him lead her on the dance floor.

“I’m still trying to figure out what’s going on,” she laughed

“Stop thinking Willa, and enjoy yourself,” he replied and followed that with a kiss to her forehead.

She felt herself redden again, and it finally hit her how natural it was being with him. She exhaled, and rested her head on his chest as they slow danced. The surprise date, the quiet dinner, the elegant dancing; he was romancing her and she wondered if this was a dream.

“You’re quiet again,” he sauntered. “That means you’re thinking.”

She looked him in the eye and smiled, “Am I not allowed to enjoy the company?” 

“As long as you’re enjoying.”

She laughed lightly, “It’s been a wonderful evening.” 

He tightened his hold and pulled her closer, “Yes, it very well has and it’s not over yet.”

Her feet were killing her, but when he insisted that he have the car drop them at a park entrance Willa was all for it. It was a short walk through Regent’s Park , the trees lit up and couples and lovers followed the same path they did. She was conscious about her arms, and just as they were about to cross her chest, Tom took her hand and squeezed it. 

“There’s nothing to fear, love,” he said softly, as he laced his fingers with hers.

Willa’s heart skipped yet another beat. She squeezed his hand back, and leaned into him as they walked. 

“Thank you for this,” she said. “This really has been the best night out in a long time.”

He smiled, “A beautiful, intelligent, woman that is close to my heart, on my arm, a cool crisp London night, I couldn’t ask for much more.”

They walked hand in hand, Willa enjoying the warmth and strength of his grasp. She felt protected, wanted and even a bit loved as they wandered the path up Primrose Hill to her house. She was almost afraid to see the night end. 

When she unlocked her door she immediately kicked her shoes off, “Oh thank God,” she groaned which made him laugh. “You walk in heels!” 

“Oh love,” he chuckled. “That would be a little over doing the height.”

“Not all of us were blessed with that.” 

“No, but their personality more than makes up for it.”

She rolled her eyes at him as he walked into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of wine and some glasses. “Terrace?”

“Perfect night,” she replied as she ascended up the stairs with him right behind her. 

And it was a perfect night. The London skyline was clear and unobstructed, and as always it was breathtaking as it twinkled in the night sky. She turned on the garden lights and the music as he poured the wine, and as much as she wanted this to be romantic she fought the thoughts that coursed through her mind. “This has been a great evening, but you’re nothing more than friends”. He handed her a glass as she cozied up on the chaise and was only mildly surprised when Tom squeezed in next to her. His warmth was perfect against the chill of the night. 

“You’re quiet again,” he muttered “You’re thinking again.”

Willa saw this as an open door, because she was honestly confused by how tender, and romantic he was being with her. Not that she didn’t like it, she was very much enjoying the night out with him, but she didn’t want to be played either. Not with everything so fresh in recent memory.

“Of course I’m thinking,” she sighed, wanting nothing more than to cuddle up to him. “I’m trying to decipher your thoughts, your actions, this wonderful night.”

“Eheheheheh,” was his reply. “If you’re that concerned, I’ll continue with my advice Willa, enjoy and perhaps go with it.”

She scoffed, and he again replied with his chuckle. He took her wine glass and placed it on the table next to her, stood up and then helped her to her feet. “Dance with me, darling.” he said taking her hand and pulling her to the center of the terrace. He took her in his arms like he did at the restaurant. The sounds of Corrine Bailey Rae’s “Breathless” filled her ears, and she blushed. A song about taking a close friendship to the next level. She felt her heart race and he pulled her closer. She tried not to think as her heart fluttered and his hands on her body caused her tummy to get butterflies. She felt weightless in his arms, a feeling that had been absent for such a long time. Her only thought now was if he would kiss her.

“Fitting song, isn’t it?” he asked as he nuzzled her.

Willa’s knees went weak and she wasn’t sure how she was standing. “Yes,” was her short, concise reply. His eyes found hers and what she saw made her breath hitch. She knew he heard it, from the smile that stretched on his face. He cupped her head in his hand and stroked her cheek with his thumb,as he licked his lips, eyes locked on each other. Oh God, Oh God, Oh God, she screamed in her head. 

Tom’s lips were soft as he pressed them against Willa’s. He waited for her reaction, any cue that this wasn’t okay. The way she melted into him, her hands skimming up his back told him that this was more than okay, that she was enjoying it. He nibbled on her lip getting her to open up for him and the sigh she elicited excited him. “I’ve waited far too long to kiss those lips,” he muttered with a breathy sigh.

“Then why did you stop?” she sighed, her lips not far from his, longing to once again be joined. 

He didn’t answer but again took her lips with his, a deeper kiss, a kiss that curled Willa’s toes as she grabbed at the nape of his neck. She moaned into him as his hand traced her arm around her waist and pulling her closer to him, his hands resting on her bottom. They broke the kiss, breathless, as he rested his forehead on hers.

“I still didn’t tell you stop,” she murmured as he smiled walking her gently over to the chaise, helping her in the chair and cozying up next to her. He laced their fingers, as he kissed the tip of her nose before capturing her lips again. 

His lips trailed from hers down her jawline to her neck, and the little pleasurable noises she made excited him. Willa, as he nipped and kissed her neck, thought that she would spontaneously combust. She tilted her head back, exposing her neck for him, and he took advantage. When she uttered, “Tom,” as he kissed her, in her sweet soft voice, he growled in return. She tangled her legs in his wanting to be as close as possible to him. His hand crept up her knee and began to knead her outer thigh as he kissed her, slowly inching up to trace her bottom, fingers leaving a hot trail on her skin that matched the heat growing in her core. Her breath hitched as his hand brushed against her breast through her dress, the little sigh exciting him, and he pressed his lips to hers again for another deep kiss before breaking to catch their breath.

They both stared at each other, wordless, lips swollen, chaste kisses with tongues dancing, his hand making its way back under her dress, resting on her hip, his thumb running along her pantyline. He kissed her forehead and then her nose before chastely kissing her lips, still unable to leave her gaze.

“Wills,” he sighed, his long finger tracing her face.

The way he said his nickname for her, the way it resonated off his lips, made her pool at her center and she panted, her own words surprising her, “If the look in your eyes are matching the thoughts in my mind, I think we need to go inside.”

She wanted him. Whether it was lust or sheer need she was putty in his hands and there was no second guessing her decision. He took a moment, still gauging her words, he didn’t want to ask her of her sureness, but the kiss that soon followed her words sealed her passion. He stood from the chaise, taking her hand and lead her down the stairs to her bedroom. He took her in his arms and she giggled nervously as he kissed her neck. “What’s on your mind, love?”

She sighed and blushed, “It’s…it’s been awhile.”

He smiled, and whispered, “Then I’m going to have to be extra slow.”

He slowly unzipped her dress. He gently pulled at her sleeves, running his fingers down her arms, which caused her skin to goosebump as her dress pooled at her feet. “Gorgeous, woman,” he breathed, his fingers skimming over every new bit of her creamy skin, as Willa shivered, not from cold, but from nerves and he sensed it. He tucked his finger under her chin and drew her eyes back to his, still looking for any sign that Willa was having second thoughts, she was his world and her comfort was priority to him. 

“I’m a little exposed here, Thomas, and you’re a little over dressed,” she smiled, breaking the ice as she began to unbutton his shirt, then kissed his chest as her hands mimicked the path his took on her, as she took his shirt off, her arms then tucking behind him, pulling him closer, nibbling where his neck met his shoulder and gently raking her nails down his back. 

“Oh, Willa,” he growled, as his hands grabbed her ass and pulled her close against his arousal. 

She whimpered as he ground into her, the ache in her core deepening as he kissed her roughly. He walked her backwards toward the bed as he kissed her. When she was forced to sit, and his arousal was right in front of her, she gasped an “Oh” and a sly smile spread across her lips.

“Eheheheh, no love, tonight is all about you.” When she cutely pouted as he unbuckled his belt he added, “I’m sure you’ll get your fill.”

She snorted and giggled as he added his pants to the pile of clothing at her bedside. 

She turned to crawl to the center of the bed and he grabbed her waist, flipping her onto her back and crawled on top of her. “Where are you going, Wills?”

She squealed her response, and when she giggled, he pinned her arms above her kissing her deeply, his knee parting her legs and rubbed her center she wiggled her hips to his. He closed his eyes and hissed as she arched again, grinding against his arousal. 

Eyes feasting on her curves, the swell of her breasts contained in her bra, her strong legs. He saw her hands go to her belly, to cover the marks where Molly had stretched her, and he moved them just as fast as she placed them there. “These are the most beautiful marks you can carry,” he whispered and kissed them, paying attention to each one. 

Willa swallowed hard, for the first time in years, with those little words and his actions, she felt beautiful. He kissed his way back up her belly, fingers sliding under the cups of her bra to release them to him. He gently rubbed one with the palm of his hand, which caused an immediate reaction, he caught her gaze as he took a pebbled peak in his mouth and rolled it gently with his tongue between his teeth. He heard her hiss his name when he suckled slowly and she writhed again, and he knew just how sensitive she was. 

“Relax,” he murmured against her skin. “Let me pleasure you.” His hand trailed down her belly and gently cupped her sex. He watched as her eyes closed, her moan letting him know of her need. “Oh, Wills. So wet.” He slid her panties off, exposing her to him. He grinned as she arched to meet his hand, which he gingerly slid to her thigh to open her legs wider to him. Her impatient sigh hitched when his tongue once again found a nipple and his long fingers gently traced the outside of her folds. 

“Oh God, Tom,” she moaned as one finger found her clit and began to languidly tease her. He gauged her as she writhed against his fingers, not wanting her to release too quickly. He maneuvered as such his fingers never left her center, and began to kiss his way down her belly, the flat of his tongue against her skin and his teasing of her sex nearly causing her to see stars. He slowed, as he slipped a finger inside her, then just as slow added the second, stretching her. Her breath was uneasy as his fingers pumped in and out of her, his thumb circled her clit and his tongue dragged from her thigh to her hip, then nibbled on her thigh causing her to gasp his name. “That’s it, love. Say my name.”

He felt her tighten around his fingers and he knew she was close. Her head rolled back and her hips bucked in rhythm with his fingers. His body moved up, his lips close to hers, “Come, Willa. Let go.” 

She arched her body and screamed, riding his fingers as the wave of pleasure rolled through her. His lips captured hers in a slow kiss, as the remaining tremors shook through her body. 

“Fuck, Tom,” she panted, already longing for him to touch her again. 

“Not yet, Wills,” he smiled, as he reached behind her back and expertly took off her bra, “I have more things I want to do to you.” Her eyes widened as he straddled her, “God you’re gorgeous.”

“Oh please,” she sighed, rolling her eyes. 

“My Wills is a screamer,” he continued softly, as he placed soft kisses on her belly, before he positioned himself at the apex of her thighs. “Let me make you scream again.”

She watched as he kissed the inside of her knee, trailing his way down her thigh and caught her gaze as he kissed her center.

“Oh fuck, Tom!” she cried as his tongue circled her clit and he gently sucked. Willa immediately had one hand clutching the duvet and one in his hair pressing him closer to her. She wriggled against him, hips bucking as his talented tongue continued its beautiful torture. He continued to watch her, as she thrashed under his ministrations. She cursed and praised him in the same moan. He slipped his fingers back inside her and she screamed his name, and she saw him grin. “Fuck you, Hiddleston,” she panted, and within seconds added, “Oh God, Tom. I’m gonna come.”

He pumped his fingers faster again, as she arched against his mouth and she cried out his name. 

The pleasure was beautifully overwhelming. Willa saw stars as he continued to kiss, suck and nibble her core. She screamed louder, having no control of her own body. Willa trembled and shook as he drew out her orgasm. He slowly withdrew his fingers, his tongue giving a final lap of her folds which caused her leg muscles to spasm more. 

He caught her gaze as she tried to regain her composure, and he licked his fingers. 

"Oh, fuck me," she panted.

"That’s next love, if you’re up to it," he answered, crawling on top of her and crashing his lips to hers. The taste of herself on his lips nearly sending her over the edge again

"I need you in me," she whispered "Tom, please."

The way she begged, with want in her voice and the need for him in her eyes made him ache like he never had before.

“Willa, I…” he sighed, feeling embarrassed of his unpreparedness, then again this date was very last minute, as were the actions of this evening. 

She smiled, and kissed him before she rolled over to her night stand. She pulled out a condom and handed it to him, then quickly pulled it away. 

“Let me?” she sighed. “I want to touch you.”

He obliged, and dropped his boxers to his ankles and allowed his cock to spring free. She gasped, not expecting his length and it excited her. She gently took him in her hand and he hissed. The soft skin was hot, rock hard and a drop of pre-cum pooled at the tip. 

“Gentle, Willa,” he breathed as her thumb circled his tip collecting the moisture there. She took her thumb, and as she caught his eye, licked it off. His head lolled back before meeting her eyes again. “I need you now.” 

She ripped open the condom and rolled it over his length, and as she finished, he pushed her back on the mattress and hovered over her as he growled. She giggled, wrapping her legs around his waist, and he captured her lips with his. 

“Go slow,” she sighed, as her hands roamed his chest, nails lightly scratching. He took his cock and rubbed it on her clit, making her gasp and arch towards him. “Tom, please.”

Tom slipped slowly inside her. Little by little, stretching her, gauging her comfort, “So tight, Wills.” 

“Tom,” she purred as she felt him seated in her and he kissed her deeply as he slowly withdrew. His thrusts were slow, and intimate as her hands clung to his strong shoulders. His pace quickened, and he brought his tongue to lick and nip along her neck and shoulder. Her moans and gasps as she began to buck against him driving him closer to to the brink. 

“Fuck, Willa,” he gasped as his thrusts became deeper and harder, and she raised her legs so he could fill her even deeper. 

Willa closed her eyes, feeling every inch of him inside her. Being joined with him, fitting so perfect, his gentleness mixed with his aggressiveness, his fondness for her, she couldn’t remember the last time she felt so wanted; So loved. He felt her walls clench around him, as his thrusts became quicker. 

“Come for me, Wills. Let me hear you scream. Scream for me,” he panted. Feeling bold, she reached down between them, and circled her clit. Her breathing became ragged, and he felt her walls close tighter, “That’s it baby, come for me.”

She looked in his eyes as the first wave of her orgasm hit, and she screamed his name. His thrusts became quickened and his release rushed through him. He slowed, not entirely wanting to leave her warmth yet, and when she wrapped her arms around him as she recovered he knew that’s what she wanted too. He kissed her sweetly as she smiled up at him, still trying to catch her breath. They both lay there, lost for words wrapped up in each other, still gently touching, kissing. 

“What’s going through that mind of yours?” he whispered, as he nuzzled her, continuing his question of the night.

“How content I am,” she answered as she snuggled close to him. “That for the first time in years, I am content.”


	6. Chapter Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willa rekindles her friendship with Tom after a bitter divorce. Will their relationship amount to anything more than friendship or will she keep the walls she built around her and let love pass her by.

A bad dream woke Willa from what was already a fitful sleep.

It was early. She could tell by how the light filtered in through the windows, casting odd shadows as the sun rose. She stretched and the dull ache that should have felt delicious didn’t. She looked down at the hands that held her. Tom’s. Protective and intimate. Willa sighed, recalling the evening prior, and the very early morning round when he woke her with languid kisses on her shoulder and teasing along her folds with his deft fingers.

He murmured in his sleep, and loosened his hold on Willa. She slipped from his embrace and out of bed, dressed into a tee and yoga pants and crept out onto the terrace. It was chilly, the weather in the midst of its seasonal change. She grabbed a blanket off the back of chair and snuggled into a chair opposite the chaise. The bottle of wine and glasses still sitting on the table adjacent. Willa stared as she remembered; his touch, his taste, the feel of him moving inside her. He made her feel beautiful, loved, and wanted…. yet at this moment she felt very far from that.

Willa tightened the blanket around her, as she brought her knees to her chest. An overwhelming feeling of guilt enveloping her. She felt the emotion creep into her heart, and the banter beginning in her brain about the beautiful man that still lay asleep in her bed. ”What did you do? she thought to herself. You’ve ruined one of the best relationships you’ve ever had. Stupid, stupid girl”. She continued her self ridicule, and though she tried to swallow the emotion, it soon began to overwhelm her and tears streamed from her eyes. 

Tom woke and reached for Willa, finding only a cold empty space. He sat up and rubbed his face and stretched, wondering where she had sneaked off too as he slept. He got up, found his pants, and as he slipped them on, he heard a sniffle coming from the terrace. The door was slightly open, a bit of chilled morning air cooling the floor as he quietly padded up to the terrace. She had balled herself up in the chair, wrapped in a blanket, face hidden and he immediately knew something wasn’t right. The euphoria that he felt quickly vanished, his thoughts raced and his concern grew. He knew she was still fragile, and maybe he should have used better judgement with her last night with her tendency to overthink things. Perhaps he was over thinking. He took a deep breath and exhaled slowly, hoping that maybe Willa was doing just that.

“Willa,” he said softly, gently touching her shoulder, feeling the sting as she flinched. “Wha—what’s wrong. Did I do something?”

She sniffled, and turned her face away from him, “No.”

He pulled a chair up to where she was sitting, and leaned in close to her, “Then talk to me.” 

She turned away again, tears steadily streaming down her face. “I ruined us.”

He scoffed and offered her a smile. ”Ruined? I think we’ve started a lovely thing!” When she offered a sob for an answer, he knew it ran deeper, and his smile quickly vanished, ”Then talk to me, love.”

Willa sighed and wiped tears from her eyes with a shaky hand. He looked at her with concerned eyes, his heart racing a million miles an hour. “We can’t be,” she finally eked out.

He knitted his brows together, confused at those three words. He recalled her passion for him last night, the way she kissed him, the way she screamed his name. “Wills, what do you mean?”

“I mean just that…We cannot be together. It would never work, and I don’t think I can handle another broken heart. Not from you. So I’m ending this. I care about you too much to lose you,” she managed, a little proud of herself for being firm.

He sat back in the chair and exhaled loudly, “Willa, I’m confused.”

“There’s nothing to be confused about, Tom,” she cried. “We’re nothing more than just friends that got a little carried away.”

“No, no, no,” he argued, “It’s a lot more than that. We are a lot more than that.”

She shook her head, and wiped at more tears that fell, cursing herself for becoming emotional. “No, Tom. We’re not.”

His eyes grew dark, and she saw anger mixed with confusion and that scared her. She knew she was hurting him and it broke her heart more, but she felt she had to do this.

“Wills…I…I…explain, please?” He reached for her hands and she pulled them away. 

“Tom, we’d do nothing but hinder your career, Molly and I. We’re no good for you. We’d set you back. You don’t need a family.”

If anger was only creeping into his eyes before, it flared now. His jaw flexed and his lips went pencil thin. “And who the fuck are you to tell me what’s good for ME?” he said, with more infliction than he probably intended but when she tossed Molly into the mix he felt miffed, kicked…broken. 

Her eyes widened at his infliction. and he was grateful he didn’t see fear. She did however give the same cross look, and her breath hitched, “I don’t, and I shouldn’t. But when it comes down to Molly, I have to be strict. We’ve already been through enough with Jack.”

“I’m not Jack, WIlla.”

She heaved a sob, her heart breaking. She knew how much he loved Molly, and she knew how much Molly reciprocated that to him. Tom was Molly’s most favorite thing. He doted on her, and spent time with her, took interest in her, more than Jack ever did with his own daughter. “I know,” she cried. “But when your career takes you away for months at a time. When you’re constantly travelling, when there’s tons of women throwing themselves at you…”

“Who’s to say we can’t work it out?” he interrupted, almost defeated, hearing her fear of abandonment rising.

“I am,” she whispered. “She’s already so close to you. If we were to fail, it would devastate her. Tom…I can’t.”

He rubbed his face, the chilly breeze biting at his skin, never anticipating that this would be the conversation they would be having at this moment. The woman that he was falling in love with was slipping away faster than he attained her.

“I would never hurt you, Willa. Or Molly.” 

“I’ve heard that all before.”

The words left her lips before she gave them thought, and when he winced, the lump in her throat grew.

“Maybe, Willa, you need to stop confusing love with pain.” He stood up and sighed, knowing that this battle was lost, “I’ll go. I leave on my press tour tonight, tell Molly to expect my postcards.” 

Her sobs were uncontrollable, and in them he saw her feelings for him, and he cursed Jack and Victor under his breath. It took every ounce of strength he had not to show how much he hurt. He leaned in and kissed her hair, his lips lingering, taking in her scent. “And for what it’s worth… We’re not ruined.”

Willa wanted to reach out and hold him, craving for his embrace but she clutched her knees tighter as she felt his eyes on her. She heard him sigh, then the squeak of the door as he left. The emotion consumed her, alone, and rightfully so. 

Tom grabbed his belongings from the bedroom and slowly made his way out, hoping that Willa would stop him, hoping that this was a nightmare. As he came down the stairs, he of course came eye to eye with Johanna. ”Walk of shame, prat?” she joked, but when she saw the pain on his face, she knew that Willa flaked. “She didn’t.”

She knew Willa so well that he didn’t have to explain. “Yeah, she did.”

Jo frowned, “Tom, I’m sorry. Let me talk to her, I…”

He shook his head, the feeling of rejection setting in, and he interrupted her, “Not right now, okay. Let her be. Jack has her so walled up. I shouldn’t have….”

Johanna nodded, “I hate him, Tom. This shouldn’t be happening. I should be telling you both to keep it quiet.” 

He forced a smile at the memory of Willa beneath him, and Jo’s insinuation, “Maybe in time.” He kissed Jo’s cheek, “Keep an eye on her while I’m gone? I’ll check in on Molly every few days, I hate to use you as a middleman…”

"Nonsense," she replied. “I’ll do what I can. Safe travels, okay?”

Johanna milled around the kitchen, hoping that Willa would come in from the terrace. When she didn’t, she put the kettle on, and made a plate of fresh fruit and toast. She brought the breakfast and tea up to the terrace where Willa was still wrapped up in the blanket, softly sobbing. She placed it on a table, pulled up the chair that Tom had sat in recently and moved real close to Willa. 

“Go away, Johanna,” she whimpered. “I don’t want to deal with whatever you have to say.” 

“Well, considering you are the only family I have, you are going to have too.” Willa glared at her and then turned her eyes back to her knees. “Because, whatever this shit is… needs to stop.”

“Jo, really, go the fuck away.”

“You see, when we became best friends, when you took pity on this ratty little chav in primary so many years ago, that option for me to ‘just go away’ became nil. So this is that little chav taking pity on her favorite poshie because she’s not the same vibrant person that saved my life and took me off the streets all those years ago. You have no choice than to listen to me, Willa.”

Willa hefted a heavy sigh as a response and stayed in the same position as Jo continued. “Willa, I’m worried about you, and I have been for some time now. Seeing you like this, seeing you hurt and afraid and balled up because of what Jack did frightens me for you. You aren’t the same person; your smile changed, your laugh changed, your zest for life changed.”

"People change, Jo," Willa mumbled. "I’ve had to change." 

"No, here’s where you’re fucking wrong. That laugh, that smile, that zest, it’s still there. I see it, but it only comes out at certain times, and it’s always when you’re at your happiest. For a year, it was absent Willa, while you dealt with your divorce, while you regained your self worth and it only recently came back. When that man that just left is close to you, everything comes back. You shine, and you glow, and I get my Willa back. That man who dotes on Molly, that man that will drop everything to get what you need. And I’m just making the observation, and I know you’re smitten with him, and I can vouch he feels the same for you."

"I can’t, Jo," Willa said, balling her fists. "We’d weigh him down. His schedule…"

"Again, you’re wrong," Jo countered. "When he was in Los Angeles, who made sure Molly had a recorded bedtime story? Who called her from Toronto when he had to miss her recital? It wasn’t her father, Willa. He voluntarily makes the time for her, no one asked him. He fancies you Willa. The way I catch him looking at you, like he’s lost in WillaWorld, the poor sot." 

Willa sighed, anger and frustration mounting. “And if we fail, what does that teach Molly? It’s bad enough one parent calls her a bad decision, let alone the other making them for her. He’s gone for months at a time, he travels for premieres. What about the paparazzi, and his fame? Jo, it’s just not about me. I know he adores Molly, but I fear for her safety. And the women, if he’s gone for months at a time, there’s that temptation, and what if he decides to stay in the States…”

“Willa, where is your heart?” Jo asked, knowing that each fear Willa had was valid, but also very workable. “Everything you mentioned has a solution.”

Willa wiped away at tears, that still continued to fall, “Locked away, too afraid to fathom anything with him, with anyone. It’s where it needs to be. Safe and secure.”

Jo leaned in close to her friend and took both of Willa’s hands in hers, “I’m going to suggest something to you, and it’s because I love you dearly. I think you need to talk to someone about Jack. Someone that can help you get over what he did.”

“Johanna… I don’t need…”

Jo interrupted her very quickly as she knew Willa would protest, “Willa, you’re harboring a lot of hate, and a lot of issues surrounding Jack’s abandonment, especially when it comes to Molls. Which is fine, to a degree, but you can’t close yourself off, which is what you have done. It worries me. Jack deflated you, he beat you down, he made you a shell of the person that you used to be. He’s made you blind to what love truly is.”

Willa inhaled, ”I fucking hate him, Jo. I really do.”

Jo took her best friend into her arms, “He’s not high on anyone’s love list.” 

“I’ve hurt Tom, haven’t I?” 

“I’ve seen him look happier, and usually most people don’t look like they got their world crushed after a night of hot sex.”

“Shut up, Jo.” Willa sighed, not feeling any better about the situation.

“Yes, he’s hurt, but I truly think he understands, but you need to work on you first, and I honestly believe he would agree with that.”

Willa swallowed hard and exhaled, “Ok, I’ll find one.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Willa spent the first part of Monday morning keeping her promise to Jo. After walking Molly to school, she called several counselors and finally found one that she felt comfortable with, and made the appointment. She was still hesitant, maybe in a bit of denial, and then she remembered Tom’s face, and the sadness in his eyes when she confronted him. She remembered that conversation, the fear in her heart, and then knowing that she hurt him. His words “We’re not ruined” still sounded loudly in her head, giving her hope.

All he wanted to do was love her. 

Her first appointment, in Willa’s mind, was brutal. Emotionally drained, exhausted and angry, she silently wished she had taken Jo up on her offer to go with her. Her mind playing over and over the conversation, all the harbored memories of Jack, and the anger swelled as she rode the train home, and they barely even touched the surface of what was underlying. She finally broke down in tears when she got home, and her best friend had tea and an embrace ready.

"It gets easier, love. You’ll work through this," Jo said as the two friends sat on the terrace.

"I guess I want to know why," Willa shrugged. "Maybe it would help, give me closure. I know it shouldn’t matter, it’s done, it’s over…I just want a reason."

"He’s a wanker isn’t enough?"

Willa chuckled lightly, “It should be, but no. If it was just me maybe I would be able to accept that.”

"I know, love. You both deserved so much better." 

Willa bit her lip, “I hope I didn’t ruin ‘better’. “

*~*~*~*~*~*

Willa poured herself into “her.” Her photography and her clients, Molly and her therapy, which she was oddly beginning to look forward too, all occupied her time. The busier she kept herself, the less she thought about Tom. There were times, when she heard his voice, whether it was an emailed video to Molly or a voice message from Jo’s phone, in the weeks following the incident. She often wondered if he was avoiding her, as much as she tried to avoid him, and she tried not to overthink the situation. It was the nights though that were tough. When the house was quiet, when she had trouble falling asleep, when she had the time to think, she missed him. She would think back to the things she said, the pain on his face, her callousness. That one night repeated often in her mind.

She missed the way he held her, gentle and protective, the scent of his skin. She missed the way he laughed, and how it would make her heart flutter. She missed the way the he looked at her, and how oblivious she was about how he felt about her. 

She missed him, and she longed for the day to talk to him again. 

So many times, she started a text message and then erased it. So many times she attempted to dial his number and didn’t. Willa knew he would be back in London soon for a short visit on his press tour, and she felt then, then she would apologize. She knew that nothing may come of it, but he did deserve at least that. Then maybe they could salvage their friendship, and they could carry on, and she could continue to heal. 

*~*~*~*

The trip to Paris came out of the blue. A “high class” client demanded Willa and her talented eye, and they were going to put no stops on getting her there. They wanted her creative spin, her unique eye to capture their fashion, and they put no limits in the contract they offered.

“Jo, it’s four days. I can’t afford four days from Molly. And it’s Paris,” She grimaced at the latter. “Alone.”

Jo, being quick witted, replied, “You won’t be alone, you’ll be with clients. And Molly wants four days away from you. Trust me on this.”

Willa rolled her eyes, “You can’t send anyone else?”

“You are my anyone else. They are demanding YOU.”

“Jo. You know I hate turning down work,” Willa canted. “But I can’t do this. Not Paris. Alone.”

Johanna smiled, and gave her friend an understanding look, “Maybe you’ll find a single man, you gorgeous thing, and have a wonderful Parisian adventure.”

“Or maybe I won’t leave my hotel room,” Willa whined. “You’re really sending me on this assignment aren’t you?”

Jo chuckled, “If they weren’t a top notch client, I would send someone else, or try to talk them out of if. You’re in demand, love.”

Willa sighed, “When do I leave? I need to make arrangements for Molls.”

“Tomorrow morning, and you come home Saturday afternoon, and I can take care of Molly Muffin.”

Willa frowned, “I’ll let Mum know, so she can peep in. A single girl in Paris. Fuck.”

Jo stifled her laugh, “Willa, you’ll be just fine.” 

As Willa packed her bags, Jo insisted on her bringing a few nice dresses, as she was told that the client would be entertaining Willa. She obliged, and when she spotted the black dress, the one she wore on her date with Tom, she slipped it into the garment bag and smiled at the memory. She checked her camera bag and her lenses, prepped all the things that she would need to travel with, and crawled in to bed with a sleeping Molly, who begged to spend the night with her mum before she left. 

Johanna dropped her off at Kings Cross and as Willa picked up her train pass, she was shocked to find they were in the first class car.

“Jo, I never did ask, but who am I shooting?” Willa scoffed as she looked over her passes. 

“Um, Dior,” Jo answered a bit suspect. “I told you they would stop at nothing.”

“Huh,” Willa sighed, not quite sure why her friend wasn’t more excited over the addition of Dior to the businesses resume. “And where am I staying?”

Jo handed Willa a packet, “This is your hotel reservation, and then the address to the shoot. A car will be waiting for you, so no worries. Just enjoy yourself. Go to the museums, indulge in the magic that is Paris.”

Willa took the pamphlet and huffed, “Alone.”

Johanna smiled and hugged her friend. “It will be over before you know it and you’ll be back home. Go. Make me proud.”

Willa arrived at Gare du Nord station in mid afternoon. The day was beautiful, and Paris was bustling. A chauffeur holding a sign with “Willa Morgan” was waiting for her and promptly took her to the hotel. Willa squeaked a bit when the driver pulled in front of the Four Seasons. Suddenly the possibility of shooting Dior seemed reality. A bellboy took her bags, and waited as she checked in. The hostess smiled at her as she handed Willa her key, “Enjoy your stay mademoiselle” 

Willa, taking in the opulent lobby didn’t notice what floor the bellboy hit, or even the floor they stopped on. When the bellboy opened the door and she stepped in, she couldn’t breathe.

“I think you have me in the wrong room,” Willa laughed as she took in the luxurious suite.

“No, Mademoiselle Morgan, you have the penthouse suite,” he replied in his heavy French accent as Willa dropped her purse, and gently put down her camera bag, shaking her head. “Is everything alright? Is there anything I can get you?”

“A stiff drink,” Willa muttered, and when he went to the bar to get her one, she gasped. “No. no, I’m fine, merci.”

She handed him a tip, a little more than she anticipated (Jo can write that off, she thought), and stood still until the bellboy closed the door behind her. She stood and stared at the surroundings. The rich fabrics and the warm colors, the huge bouquets of pink and white peonies (her favourite flower) that filled the foyer…a foyer, her hotel room had a foyer. She walked into the bedroom, where a lone king sized bed stood regally, draped in luxurious fabrics and just wanting to be jumped on, and the bathroom where a huge marble tub awaited her. The room was aligned with terraces that allowed her views of all of Paris. Where she stood, she gaped in awe of the Eiffel Tower. 

“This isn’t fucking real,” she sighed, as she found a leather bound portfolio labeled “Dior” on the table. 

She opened it, and found some of the details of the upcoming shoot, a car would be there for her to meet with the directors for dinner tonight, and the shoot that would only take the morning for the few pieces of clothing they had listed. Then the rest of the schedule was open. Willa was puzzled, on why they blocked her for so many days, for only a few hours of work. She figured if there needn’t be any reshoots, that she could check out a day early. Then again, it was the penthouse suite, maybe the extra day wouldn’t be so bad. This was her first time dealing with high fashion, so she would just let them call the shots. 

She unpacked her luggage, and got lost in the huge bathroom as she prepared herself for dinner. She felt partly like the luckiest kid and the loneliest girl on the planet at the same time. 

Her dinner meeting went extraordinarily well. The art directors, who were in love with her work, explained to Willa that this was a trial for her. This shoot would be used in their advertising, and there more than likely would be a lot more work for her with them in the near future. Willa was beside herself. This was what she had been working for. A rush of excitement rode through her, as they continued to talk, and she silently wished that Jo was with her. 

The first thing she did was call Johanna when she got back into the penthouse. Her face was warm from the wine and the smile she carried lit up the room. 

"Jo, you didn’t tell me that this was practically a job interview!" she beamed as she Skyped with her best friend.

"I didn’t want you nervous. When they called, it took every bit of energy I had not to tell you." 

"Oh Jo, this means I may have to leave you." 

"And you deserve this, love. This is your dream." 

Willa fought back the tears, knowing that her friend basically handed her talent over. ”I love you, Jo. Thank you.”

"You’re an amazing photographer, Willa. I can’t keep you mine forever." 

Willa smiled, “I wish you were here.”

"We’ll celebrate when you get back. Enjoy Paris and it’s many surprises." 

"I just have this huge beautiful room and no one to share it with," Willa frowned. "Come out with me." 

Johanna laughed, “You know I can’t. I’m going to need to look for a new photographer.”

The two women talked a bit more before Willa decided to call it a night to prepare for her shoot in the morning. She walked out to the open balcony, a crisp fall breeze blowing through the doors, the Eiffel Tower standing in it’s majestic beauty before her. 

"Oh Paris, I love and hate you right now," she said out loud as she watched the a tower give its nightly light show. She brushed a tear, and climbed into the big regal bed, where the mattress, soft, yet firm cradled her, and the classical music playing from her iPod lulled her to sleep.

Nerves wanted to get the best of Willa that morning. Worried about her hair, clothes, and make-up, she finally threw her hands up and said, “Fuck it, I’m a photographer.” 

So she dressed comfortably, grabbed her bag, and hopped in the car. The scenery was gorgeous and she drank it all in as the driver took her out to the location, which was close to Versaille. She got acquainted with her models, and quickly got to work in the gardens. 

By the time she was done, she was completely dirty and completely satisfied with her shots, and could not wait to cull through them. Dior requested a sample by the following day so she could hardly wait to get back to the hotel and begin to work. 

As much as that bathtub called to her, Willa showered and changed, and while the solitude of the terrace beckoned her, she decided the cafe next to the hotel would do her some good. Culling and people watching; it sounded divine. She gathered her laptop and her camera bag, and headed down to grab some coffee and a snack as she took in the Parisian surroundings.

Willa found a table, and arranged her work in front of her. She found herself watching couples take in the city, a quartet of strings played nearby, so she opted not to put her earbuds in to drown out the sound. She sat and culled and her mind wandered, smiling at the couples that held hands as they walked by, caught in the romance of the city. 

She sighed, and devoted her attention back to her photos, soon oblivious to all that was around her, concentrating on the winter shoot she just did, pulling out pictures that would soon be edited and turned in for further embellishment. Pride swept through her as she chose her photos, sitting back in her chair with an impish smile on her face. Content in her own little world, in that moment in time, everything was okay. She had fought so hard to be where she was. The tools she was learning in therapy were helping, and while there was some things that still needed repair, she felt she was on the right path. 

The waiter had been milling about, refilling water glasses and making sure his customers were fine. She didn’t think much about the presence behind her, assuming it was him. She continued about her business, she felt a hand on her shoulder, and when she didn’t flinch, a deep familiar tenor voice filled her ear.

“Wills.”


	7. Chapter Seven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Willa rekindles her friendship with Tom after a bitter divorce. Will their relationship amount to anything more than friendship or will she keep the walls she built around her and let love pass her by.

A million thoughts raced through Willa’s mind all at once as chill bumps erupted on her skin. The hand remained on her shoulder to keep her from jumping too wildly, gentle but firm. 

She knew that voice, and the only person who called her by that nickname. She closed her eyes briefly; hoping, wishing that it just wasn’t her imagination or a dream. In the matter of a split second, Willa swallowed hard, her pounding heart surely audible, and turned her head slowly.

“Hello, Wills,” Tom said with a smile. His voice and eyes were gauging her reaction.

She gasped, hand covering her mouth, emotion welling in her throat and her eyes, unsure what to do. He offered her his arms. She wasn’t sure, but it felt like she leapt into them.

“I’m sorry,” she cried as his arms wrapped tightly around her, his hands protectively embracing her, pulling her tight against his chest.

“I know. Don’t think about that now,” he replied, the scent of her intoxicating to him. He could feel her tears dampening his shirt and he kissed the top of her head feeling his own emotions well. After a moment, he cleared his throat, “We’re alright.”

She nodded into his chest, her arms tight against his back as she tried to melt into him, and he finally took her face in his hands, wiping away hot tears with his thumbs. “My Wills.”

Willa smiled up at him as their eyes locked. “Hi,” she muttered with a slight laugh, still unable to process that he was there with her in Paris. He chuckled and his eyes focused on her lips. She felt his eyes on them, and she licked them, leaving them slightly parted, almost as an offering that he wasn’t going to refuse.

He felt her heart and soul in that kiss, Willa giving everything she had, her hands running up the nape of his neck pulling him closer to her. Their lips and bodies melded together in the middle of the cafe. Feeling so many eyes on them and both not having any care. When they finally parted, both breathless, he rested his forehead against on hers. “Wow,” he breathed, planting chaste kisses on her lips.

"I’ve missed you,” she finally said. “We have a lot to talk about.” 

His thumb stroked her face, his eyes passionate and endearing. “I’ve missed you too. And we have plenty of time.”

Willa sighed and once again rested her cheek on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her. She heard his heart racing and it made her smile. He was just as nervous as she was.

The waiter interrupted them as nicely as he could, asking if Tom would like a cup of coffee. The interruption brought them back to reality. Tom obliged, the waiter left and he helped Willa back to her seat. She closed the laptop, and she couldn’t take her eyes off him, still in disbelief that he was right there with her. All those things she said to him - those damning words of fear and selfishness - and there he sat. Her breath hitched as she tried to calm herself, and he took her hand as he smiled. “Are you okay?” 

She let out a giggle and shook her head, “No. I mean, how did you know where I was?” 

Tom smiled, that large Cheshire smile that Willa always recognized when he was up to something. “Eheheheheh, I have people.” 

Willa rolled her eyes “People. Johanna?” When he grinned again she shook her head with a laugh, “I should have known.”

He laughed as the waiter placed a coffee in front of him, “She set a lot of this up for me, that interview with Dior though, was all you. It just kind of all fell into place with my press tour.”

Willa ran her finger on her laptop, her concentration lost for the moment. “Yeah, Dior,” she said, knowing that with her mind spinning with all the things she wanted to say, and him being with her, that the sample she promised the Dior directors would have to take a backseat until she got herself resettled. She felt eyes on them, some maybe recognizing him. With the conversation she wanted to have, she felt she needed to have she began to grow uncomfortable. 

“Let’s go bring this back to your room, and take a walk?” he suggested, taking notice of her discomfort.

“Yeah, because I bloody well cannot concentrate right now,” she smiled as she slipped her laptop into its bag. 

“I’m sorry,” he apologized. “Do you have a deadline?”

“Tomorrow afternoon. It’s fine, really,” she replied as Tom left a payment in the table. “Plenty of time.”

He hefted her laptop on his shoulder and held out his hand. She sighed, still wondering why, after saying all those things, he came to her. She felt she didn’t deserve it, but his smile, the way he looked at her told a different story. She took his hand, and he laced his fingers with hers and squeezed gently. He knew she was still trying to wrap her head around him being there, and there were a million thoughts running in her mind and he tried to prepare himself for the worst, even though he felt everything in the kiss they shared.

Her laugh echoed through the penthouse when she saw his luggage. The scheming of her best friend, and a man that would take the gamble that everything would work out filled Willa’s heart with joy.

They both quickly changed, the weather was changing and a cool breeze blew through the city. When he opened his carry on to grab his jumper she spotted the picture that Molly drew him the afternoon they spent at the zoo. Matted and framed, it lay on top of his clothes so it would be the first thing he would take out, wherever he was staying. She bit her lip, as the words of her daughter filled her head. “Like a family.” 

"Are you alright?" he asked, taking the picture and placing it on the bedside table.

"That picture," she said picking it up, her fingers tracing the primitive figures. "You still have it." 

"Of course I do," he replied. "I call it my symbol of hope, and the memory of a very good day."

Willa smiled as she reminisced and recanted his words. “It really was.”

He kissed her head, taking full advantage of being able to kiss her at will, and held out his arm, “Shall we take that walk, enjoy the city, and perhaps clear your mind?”

She linked her arm in his, nudged against him and they shared a laugh. They walked in comfortable silence for a while, Willa had her apology running through her mind, even if he was giving off the connotation that she was forgiven. Her words on the terrace still ringing in her ears, and even louder now that he was with her, and the bit of advice he threw at her in his pain…something that she was so heartily trying to repair. They walked through the arrondissements, their conversation light, stopping every so often to window shop or people watch, his hand laced with hers. The afternoon wore on, and Tom suggested they stop at a market and pick up some items to have a picnic on the lawn by the Eiffel Tower. Willa thought that was a spectacular idea. 

They browsed a street market, where peddlers loudly announced their wares. The warm scents billowed in the breeze from the patisseries and butcher shops that mixed with fresh fruit and vegetables. It was heavenly. They decided on a couple of Croque Monsieurs made fresh and warm, fresh fruit (the apples smelled divine) a bottle of beaujolais (along with classy plastic cups) and Willa picked out macarons to nibble on for dessert. Willa bought a picnic cloth that she knew she would reuse for picnics in Regent’s and the two made their way to the lawn. 

The setting sun cast pink and orange hues throughout the sky creating an amazing backdrop against the Eiffel Tower. Willa, pulled out her camera and snapped a few pictures.

“I’d be silly not too with this gorgeous light,” she said. She then lowered her camera and snapped a shot of Tom, who still wore his perpetual smile. “Perfect, as always.”

He scoffed, still smiling as he laid out the blanket for them to sit on, and she arranged their meal as he opened the bottle of wine. He sat down and then helped Willa to the blanket, where she sat cross legged, her knee touching his, still a little uneasy and trying to place what she was feeling. Nervous, perhaps, but her heart was screaming loudly. 

They finished their sandwiches and Willa finally found her courage as she picked at the remaining crust of her unfinished portion. “I still need to apologize to you,” she said, trying to avoid eye contact but catching his eye out the corner of hers.

“Willa…” he began but she cut him off.

“Tom, please,” she sighed, looking up at him, knowing that he was going to tell her that it was “okay,” that things were alright, and to enjoy the moment. She did want to enjoy the moment, but she also had so much weighing on her mind. “Please let me say what I need to say.”

Her eyes focused on his, and he bit his lip seeing the seriousness, yet, adoration behind her eyes. “I apologize, Willa,” he said as she surprisingly took his hand. 

She swallowed hard, and, out of anxiety, began to play with his fingers as she started to talk. “I want to forget that morning. That morning after you showed and gave me so much and not only just passion, but you. You gave me yourself that night and I, like a toddler, threw a bloody selfish tantrum that morning. I said things because I was afraid, and I still am. I need you to know that. I need you to know that I am broken, but not irreparable, and while my exterior may only show a few cracks - sometimes that glue fails, and I begin to fall apart. I need you to know I’m immature when it comes to love, and about what love is, Tom. I married too young. I was too naive and should have listened to my parents when it came to Jack, but I was so wrapped up and brainwashed by him that by the time I woke up, I was abandoned with an infant. So those walls went up, to protect myself and Molly. Those things I said to you that morning, Tom, I regret every word. Every word still haunts me, because I was afraid of how I felt. Because I honestly didn’t believe that I deserved to feel those things; contentment, adoration, love perhaps. Until Molly came, I didn’t know what they were. Jack never showed them to me, and here in the span of a few months, you come back into my life…” she swallowed hard, feeling the emotion rise in her throat, and Tom’s undivided attention to her made her heart beat loudly in her chest. His thumb caught a tear that pooled near her eye, and his smile encouraged her to continue. She caught her breath, and continued with her confession. “ You came into our life, and picked us both up, Tom, and after I said those horrible things, you still overlooked it, and checked in on her, doted on her, and silently checked in on me, and my own selfish fear couldn’t see past it, and I am sorry. I am so sorry, Tom.”

Tears streamed down her cheeks, and she fervently wiped at them. “I promised myself all day I wouldn’t cry.”

He smiled at her, and again offered her his arms. She accepted, and relaxed as she felt his arms wrap around her, feeling the comfort that she so desperately needed right then.

“Wills,” he said softly into her hair, as he planted soft kisses on her head. “I, of course, accept your apology and don’t fully hold you responsible for what you said. I know you better than that, and that’s why I am here, love. I do have just one question for you, Willa.”

She sniffled, and snuggled her cheek into his chest, his hold on her tightening to give her some affirmation, and she nodded. He cleared his throat, and tipped her chin so she would look him in the eyes. “Can I have a chance, to be your glue? To adore you, and stand by you? To pleasure you and make you insanely mad? Can I have that chance to keep you from falling apart?”

She sniffed again, and felt a smile on her face, “You said one question.”

He laughed so hard he shook her with him, a deep belly laugh that the two shared on that blanket. “Multi-tiered, Wills,” he chuckled, then kissed the top of her head again. “What do you say?”

She sighed, her smile from the laughter still present, and she loved the way his eyes danced when he looked at her, “Of course.”

He pulled her into a deep kiss, one that made Willa’s toes curl. “My Wills,” he whispered into her lips. 

“My Tom,” she replied, just as breathless.

*~*~*~*~*

After a finished bottle of wine and lazy cuddling under the icon that beckoned romance, Willa found the contentment she felt for such a short period of time those weeks ago. She shivered as the breeze became cooler, the sun had long set, and the Tower sparkled in the night sky. 

“You’re cold,” Tom said, as he sat up concern in his voice. 

“I’m okay,” Willa sighed, stretching the truth through chattering teeth. 

“We have a hotel room with a spectacular view, and warmth.” He held out his hand to help her stand and collected their belongings.

“And a big fluffy bed, and a big giant tub,” she muttered under her breath, as she folded the picnic blanket.

He laughed, “I heard that, Wills.” He cocked an eyebrow at her which made her giggle.

He made a quick phone call out of her earshot, then took her hand and they began walking the short distance back to the hotel. “What was that about?” she asked.

“Nothing, checking in with Luke,” he smiled.

“Why don’t I believe you?”

The lights in the penthouse were turned down, and candles were lit throughout the suite. A warm bubble bath was drawn and a bottle of red wine open and airing was waiting for them. The bed turned down, two robes waiting to wrap their users and the classical playlist that Willa had been using was playing at the perfect volume.

“You’re trying to seduce me Hiddleston,” Willa said, casting a keen eye at her suitor.

"Is it working?" he asked cheekily.

She nodded. “Yes. Yes it is. Granted you could have taken me to a barn and that would have worked too.”

He laughed, wrapping his arms around her waist, and pulled her close. “Shag in the hay, I’ll remember that.”

"You should," she said as his lips ghosted against hers.

"I can make that happen,” he said, his hand cupping her head before he kissed her forehead, then her nose. When he went to kiss her lips, she slipped from his hold and she giggled as she walked to the bathroom where the tub was waiting.

She pulled her sweater dress over her head, surprising herself with her boldness and embracing the passion between them as she walked, “This tub has been taunting me, you can either join or watch.”

“Oh,” he muttered, as her strip show left him breathless, and speechless. “Definitely join.”

Tom followed the trail of clothing and boots to the bathroom, and his breath hitched as Willa stood naked before him, pulling her hair into a bun. She smiled, feeling his gaze as he stood in the doorway, yet her arms instinctively went across her body. It was what she was used to, hearing Jack’s voice belittling her in her mind.

“No, no, no,” Tom said softly as he walked towards her, feasting his eyes on the fullness of her breasts, the curves of her hips, the slight rounding of her belly, proud of her confidence. “Let me see you, my gorgeous girl.” He gently placed her arms around his waist, his fingers caressing her bare back, “Let me see you.”

She exhaled, and cast a smile at him. “You are overdressed for a bath,” she said, regaining her confidence, as her hands crept up to unbutton his shirt.

"I’m prepared to remedy that," he said against her lips, his hands resting on the curve of her bottom. His touch electrified her. She removed his shirt, and he quickly added his pants and boxers to the pile of clothes.

Willa caught her breath as her eyes took him in. His definition had changed, his musculature. Her fingers gently skimming over his chest and down his broad shoulders, as he kissed her deeply. ”About that bath….”

He laughed and stepped into the tub, then took her hand to help her in. He sat, and guided her down to lean against him, the water warm, and bubbles spilling over, she relaxed against him as he nuzzled her neck. 

Willa sighed, lost in the kisses he placed on her neck and shoulders, the fire in her belly only increasing. “I could get used to this,” she said as his strong hands began to massage her shoulders. Her head lolled as he worked out knots, and he chuckled at her response to him.

“You’re tense,” he whispered into her neck. “Relax.”

She sighed with a hint of a laugh, “I’ve had a rough couple of years.” 

“Hmmmmm. I can help you with that. I think we’re allowed a do-over.”

She giggled and her eyes widened as his hands slipped beneath the water, roaming over her breasts, her belly and then caressing her outer folds. She accepted his teasing by leaning back, grinding against him, and softly moaning out his name, which she knew would always drive him crazy. She was very receptive to his touch, and as his fingers did their work, he drained a bit of water out of the tub.

"What are you doing?" she asked, her pleasure mounting as she writhed against him.

"Trust me, the less water the better," he growled, then nipped her shoulder. “I need you to be in you, and I don’t think I have the patience to take you to bed this very moment. Put your legs behind me."

Willa obliged and straddled him backwards as Tom grabbed her hips to keep her centered. She felt him slip underneath her and he rubbed his cock against her clit which made her gasp. 

“Lean forward, love,” he whispered, his hands gently directing her. “If you aren’t comfortable, please let me know.” The lustful concern in his voice eased her racing mind. She placed her hands on the bottom of the tub, and she gently sank down on to him. 

"Oh fuck, Wills," he hissed, the words mixed with her pleasurable sigh as they connected.

"Oh God, Tom,” Willa gasped, the feeling of this new position exquisite, so mind blowing she quickly forgot her insecurities. 

His hands on her ass, his first few thrusts were long and sensual, then Willa decided to take it into her own hands and began to ride him. She was in control, something also new to her, and the euphoria she felt, of him letting her have that control, nearly caused an orgasm in itself.

She wiggled her hips and his reaction made her heart race. His hands roughly massaging her backside, she looked back at him, his eyes focused on her riding his cock; the warm water sloshing around them, the candlelight, the music, his lustful growls as she bounced on him, the wonderful sensory over-stimulation were bringing her to the edge quickly.

His hands reached around, one securely around her waist, the other dipped into her folds to tease her bundle of nerves. She gasped his name and her legs quivered, as his thrusts met hers. “That’s it, Wills,” he coaxed becoming more breathless second by second. He felt her walls clench around him, as he brought her to a climax. She screamed his name, and hearing that again, her scream of him pleasuring her, sent him over the top and he spilled inside her. 

Panting, and sweaty from the humidity of the bathroom, he pulled her close to him and took her in a deep kiss “You make me lose self control,” he smiled as he brushed a strand of hair from her face, “I owe you more romance.”

Willa scoffed, and traced his face with her fingers, kissing his lips lightly. “If you don’t call surprising me by showing up in Paris after a month long tift, taking me on a picnic underneath the Eiffel Tower, sharing this gorgeous penthouse, then properly fucking me in a glorious bathtub romantic, then I need to revamp my imagination.”

He laughed, and kissed her. “Shower next, love?”


	8. Chapter Eight

Willa stretched, a breeze of cool, fall air waking her. A dabble of sunlight danced on the walls as the sun rose over Paris. She was alone in bed, but the moment’s panic she had settled when she saw the little note written on her bedside table that simply read “Outside” with a heart underneath it. She smiled; he knew her better than she gave him credit for. 

 

She sat up and shivered, the duvet falling from her body, still naked from the previous night’s antics. The terrace door slightly open gave her another hint of where he was, and also allowed the crisp fall air to filter through the suite. She swung her legs out of the bed, grabbed a robe and wrapped herself tightly. Willa padded out to the terrace, where Tom sat, legs stretched out into another chair, reading a book. He had already ordered breakfast for them, the pot of coffee still steaming. There was fruit and scones for her and his finished English breakfast sat at the side.

Tom’s eyes lit up when he saw her. He immediately marked his book and placed it on the table, and he watched as she walked towards him, his grin barely containing his excitement to see her. 

“Good morning,” she smiled, her heart fluttering, still unable to believe his reaction whenever he saw her. They shared a sweet kiss, his fingers gently brushing her cheek, taking in her adoring eyes.

“Good Morning, Wills,” he said as she sat in the chair his feet just occupied. “How are you feeling this morning?”

She blushed a bit, “Wonderfully…sore”

He laughed lightly, raising his eyebrow as he poured her a cup of coffee, “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

“You should,” she sighed. “Have you been up long?”

“For a spell,” he answered. “Jet lag, a lovely consequence of travel, but worth it to be here with you.” Willa blushed, and sighed with contentment as she began to pick at her breakfast. “What’s on your mind, love?”

Willa sat back and found his eyes, where they showed concern but no worry, which relieved her. She didn’t want him to travel down that path, that horrible morning, how she wished it was long gone. “Honestly, “ she said with a slight smile. “I miss Molly. I miss hearing her voice, her laugh, her rapid fire questions, her clumsiness. I guess it’s weird that I am here, cherishing this time with you and I am thinking of my daughter.”

Tom returned her smile, “I think if you didn’t miss her, it would be cause for concern. I miss her,” he was quick to add.

“You’re so good to her, thank you. She misses you quite a bit.”

Tom reached out and took Willa’s hand, “She’s got a special place in my heart. I think it was the moment she flipped over those handlebars, and jumped right back up, she wiggled her way in there. She has her mother’s strength and she is full of moxie.”

“You’re more of a father to her than Jack ever was,” Willa said, without much thought. When she heard her words leave her mouth, her heart skipped, and she felt herself turn crimson in embarrassment. She would never put that on Tom, not at this moment. She sat back in her chair hard, and felt a lump in her throat, “I’m sorry, that… that… slipped.”

His smile wore pride. “Wills, I am honored that you think that way. I try to be the best role model for her.”

"I just don’t want you to think I’m assuming, since we’re together now. I just…" She pulled her hand away from his and crossed her arms, that defense mechanism that he loathed so much and was eager to see less of slipping into place.

"Wills, can I explain something to you?" he interrupted, his voice gentle and matter of fact. She nodded as he leaned forward and took both her hands in his. "Molly will be as much a part of this relationship as you or I. Months ago, before I went for that run in Regent’s, I never anticipated a child would take up so much room in my heart. Do I want children? Of course, when I found the right partner, I would hope to have them… and then this beautiful little girl nearly took out my shins, and changed everything.” 

Willa blinked processing Tom’s words, his blue eyes full of compassion and love as they stared into hers. “So regardless, I am making this promise to you and to Molly, that no matter what becomes of us, and I shamelessly see a long future ahead for you and I, that I will not turn my back on her. If, of course that’s okay with you. I promise her safety, I promise her love, I promise to adore her mother.”

Willa bit her lip, and swallowed hard the emotion that continued to grow in her throat, “Tom…”

“One of our first conversations when we got reacquainted was that you weren’t looking forward to ‘daddy auditions’. I’ll never be her father, Willa, but allow me to be there for her.”

She smiled, lip quivering as he confessed his love for Molly. ”You’re making me a blubbering mess,” she said with a sniffle. “And thank you for loving her. She loves you so much, Tom.” 

"Just as I’m falling in love with her mother, and have been for some time now." 

Willa’s shade of crimson took on a whole new hue and the knife she was handling to butter her scone dropped to the plate, “You’re just full of confessions this morning.”

He laughed, “I suppose I am.” 

Willa got up and sat in his lap, taking him in an embrace, then kissed him deeply, “Give me some time, but do know my feelings are deep and my heart is yours.” Her fingers traced his cheekbone and skimmed his lips, “I’m learning, Tom, and healing.”

His hand slipped between the front of her robe and his smile grew at the realisation that she was undressed as he wrapped his arm around her waist. “My time is yours, Willa. I know I have your heart.” Her breath hitched as his hand brushed against her bare nipple, causing it to harden, “And you are very naked under this robe.” 

She grinned devilishly, feeling a freedom with him that had never occurred with Jack. “I am,” she stated as she began to kiss and nibble his neck. He hummed his pleasure as her tongue and teeth dragged over his morning stubble. She shifted on his lap as she imagined him between her thighs. He recognised her squirm and chuckled.

"I can only imagine what’s running through your mind," he murmured as Willa continued her assault on his neck, her hand now kneading his upper inner thigh. He hissed as she brushed against his hardening cock, "And I’ve a right mind to take care of it." 

He stood up, and tossed Willa over his shoulder and she shrieked with laughter. ”Tom!” Her giggle echoed through the suite as he gently tossed her on the bed. 

The robe untied and opened slightly, and Tom smirked as Willa wiggled playfully beneath him. He tickled her and her laugh once again filled the room. He ran his cheek on the inside of her knee, the hitch in her breath satisfying to him as he slowly nuzzled his way closer to her apex. His eyes slowly met hers, lingering on her belly and her anticipatory pants. She bit her lip when their eyes locked. His blue eyes filled with passion for her, his gaze heavy as he kissed her inner thigh, “My gorgeous girl.”

~*~*~*~

Showered and finally ready to start their day, Tom was leaving Willa to get to her editing as he had to do a couple of interviews and get a workout in.

"Dinner tonight," he said as he kissed her nose. "Call me when you’re done." 

She smiled as she nuzzled his nose, “I will.”

He kissed her lips and laughed, “That will never get old.”

The door closed and Willa immediately missed him, but her heart was happy. She danced as she turned on her playlist, situated herself at the desk and in the comfortable chair in the suite’s office. The terrace doors were still open, allowing the breeze in. There was a smell of rain on the air and as she spun in the chair it hit her that she felt joy, and was quite possibly falling in love. As her laptop booted, she smiled to herself, thinking that this was easy…if she listened to her heart. 

She did a quick check of emails, and her IMessenger started pinging with Jo’s curiosity, and a request for a facetime conference call with her. Willa obliged, knowing she failed to check in with the exception of a text yesterday to see if Molly was okay. 

“You know I’m busy, Johanna,” Willa smiled.

“You look wonderfully sexed,” she retorted cocking her eyebrow. “I’m assuming the reunion went amazing then. Where is the prat?”

Willa rolled her eyes, “He had some work to do, as do I. And yes… thank you.”

Her best friend smiled at her, “I figured Dior would take a back seat for a bit, and you’re welcome. I want you happy, Willa. You deserve all the happiness in the world. You give so much, and Jack took so much away from you.”

“Aw, Jo,” Willa cooed. “I’m trying. I’m healing. He knows.” 

“I know you are. In all things,” Jo added. “And I honestly hate to bring the subject up, but Jack called here twice looking for you, and I refused to give him your mobile. He sounded agitated, but wouldn’t tell me what he wanted. Called me a whore as per usual. Didn’t ask about Molls, just wanted to bitch at you.”

Willa exhaled, her heart feeling a bit deflated for Molly’s sake, “Sorry Jo. If he continues, just give it to him, no need in hiding from him. How is Molly?”

Jo smiled, “Enjoying time away from you, for bloody sure. We’ve gone out to dinner twice, stayed up past our bedtime, and we’re going cake tasting for her birthday after school today. She’s keeping her auntie busy. She misses you though, I can tell.”

Willa laughed, “Cake tasting? She’s going to be six.”

“Let me spoil her!” Jo replied. “It’s her birthday coming up!”

“Okay, okay. Facetime tonight? And really, if Jack continues to bother you put him through to me.” 

Johanna nodded, “Of course, I hope she survives seeing the two of you together. She ships you hard you know?”

“Ships?” Willa knitted her eyebrows together in confusion.

Jo shook her head, “I’ll explain later. Get to work on your Dior shoot, and give the Prat my love.”

The two closed out their conversation and Willa once again checked her email, and there was nothing from Jack. Whatever it was he was harping on Jo about must not have been all that important to not reach out to her. WIlla changed her mobile because she had to cut the line of abuse. There were times when she would be bombarded with texts, ones that belittled and frightened her. She cringed at the thought that he barely spoke to her for 2 ½ years, but when she filed, that particular flood gate was opened. She told Jack that she could reach her through the office line or email, but until things cooled off, her mobile number was off limits. 

Willa shook her head and took a deep calming breath, trying to find that place she was in moment before. She checked her phone and saw Tom had texted her a picture of an elderly couple holding hands as they walked. There wasn’t a caption, he let the image speak for itself. It was just what she needed to dive into her own photos.

In the span of a few hours, Willa was pretty sure she accomplished what her client wanted. Their instructions were simple; they didn’t want many and with the way she shot her images, using the natural light, the true aspect of the product and the raw beauty of the model wearing it had been brought out. She paced the suite, a little nervous about making the call for them to come pick up the disk, a little nervous about what this could mean for Jo’s business, a little nervous that they sought her out. She chewed on her thumbnail, the nervous pit in her belly growing. She knew she had talent, Jo’s clients always asked for her, and that worried her. She hated the feeling of leaving Jo, and a business that they both worked hard to grow from the ground up, and when Willa had Molly, she relinquished quite a bit, and now adding high fashion and Tom with his schedule into the mix, it would add little time to work with Jo. 

“Jo, I can’t. I can’t call them. I’m done and I can’t,” Willa said anxiously on the phone, as she once again leaned on her voice of reason.

“You will,” was her best friend’s simple reply.

“I can’t. I can’t leave you out on a limb like this. And Tom, his schedule. It’s too much.”

“Willa. You will,” Jo assured. “Everything will work out. I am not worried. This is your dream. Don’t make me hop a plane to Paris and force it over. This is exactly what you need.”

Willa sighed and toyed with the disk in its case, “This will change a lot of things.”

“Just another good change to add to your books in the last year. Call them. We’ll celebrate when you get home.” 

Willa sighed, “I cannot believe this is happening.”

“They know talent, so call them. I love you.”

“I love you too, Jo, Just so many things at once…”

“Relax. I know it’s overwhelming. You deserve all the good things happening. Make it happen Willa.”

“Okay. If you still need me to work…”

“Willa, we’ll cross that bridge when it’s necessary. Just call them, and enjoy your time in Paris with Tom.”

Willa laughed lightly, “I’m not used to this Jo.”

“Used to what? Freedom? Love? Empowerment? Mind Blowing Sex?”

Willa snorted, “Yes! All of it.”

“When we were little, and all the kids used to pick on me, and made fun of me because I had no parents, you stood by me, and told me to stay strong. You were such a feisty little poshie. Headstrong and took shit from no one. That’s where I learned it from. From you. And I see that woman, that protected that chav coming back. Willa, you have worked so hard for this. You are a brilliant photographer. You are an extraordinary mother, you are a selfless friend. The good things that are happening, are meant to be. Call them, liberate yourself, and I expect you to have trouble walking when I pick you up at the train station. You’ve been in that dark cave for far too long. Enjoy the light, Willa.”

Willa wiped a tear, “Okay. I’m going to do it.” 

“Then go celebrate with that beautiful man. Molly and I will celebrate with you when you come home. All of us.”

“Thank you, Jo,” Willa sighed. “I’m still going to fight for you.”

“And I you, love. Go. I’ll have Molly dial you in a few hours.”

Willa hung up the phone and exhaled, her fingers tracing the number on the portfolio. She dialed, and when they answered she felt surprisingly calm. They told her that they would have a courier out to the hotel to pick it up, and to go enjoy Paris. She slipped the disk in it’s binder, and walked it down to the front desk. She handed it over to the front desk attendant, explained that there would be a pick up and to let her know when they did. Her heart raced as it turned hands, and she hoped the Dior’s courier was quick before she changed her mind. 

Willa decided she would quietly wait for the courier. She walked the lobby, grabbed a coffee in the little cafe, listened to the string quartet they had playing, and in no time, the courier came, and traded portfolios with the front desk. The attendant waved Willa over and handed her the new leather bound packet, and her heart once again raced. She thanked him, and headed to the elevator to go back to her room. 

“Everything okay, love?” a familiar British tenor asked causing her to jump.

She gasped as he laughed, “You have got to stop doing that. Dior has their disk, albeit after a bit of a breakdown.”

He kissed her hair as the elevator door opened, “Breakdown?” 

"Nerves," she answered as she fiddled with the new portfolio as the elevator quickly ascended. "And I’m afraid to open this."

He opened the door to the suite and she promptly made her way to the living area and sat on the couch, portfolio in her lap. “Do you want me to open it?” he asked.

Willa shook her head, “It’s probably a contract.”

Tom got up from the couch, and went to the bar where he poured two glasses of wine “Relax love. Open it, and if there’s any question I can have Luke take a look at it.”

She nodded and bit her lip, “I only asked for one concession at dinner that night, and that was for me to be able to still work with Johanna. No non-compete. Work as a freelance. My own schedule.”

“Fair enough,” he said. 

Willa inhaled, and felt his arm wrap around her pulling her close. Her fingers traced the buttery-brown leather, unbuttoning the clasp that held it together, “Here goes.”

Indeed there was a contract, a voucher for Dior, and an envelope. In the envelope contained a check; immediate payment for her work. While she made excellent money working with Johanna, the check was for far more than she ever anticipated. She gasped, feeling a thrill go through her. Jack’s voice of belittlement of her “stupid camera,” her “waste of time hobby” tried to rise, but it was quashed as she held the check and portfolio in her hand. She exhaled loudly, still in disbelief that this was all happening. 

Tom pulled her close, and kissed her head, “That’s all you, love.”

Her hands shook, nerves and excitement unsure of what to do. Thoughts of Molly, and knowing that Willa alone could completely manage things without Jack ran through her head. “It changes a lot.” A smile curved on her lips as her thoughts raced, “I need to read that contract, but first, let’s celebrate.” She picked up her wine glass and handed Tom his, “To new life, new adventure, new beginnings, and new love.”

“I will gladly drink to that,” he said, gently clinking her glass to his. “And to celebrate, dinner and whatever your heart desires.”

She smiled, “Anything?”

“Anything,” he said, as he kissed her neck. 

“We need to finish our toast. It’s bad luck if we don’t.” He made her so breathless that she was shocked that she got her words out.

“Well then,” he sighed, pulling away to allow them both to take a sip. “There’s no room for bad luck here.” He placed her glass on the table alongside his, and raised his eyebrow, “Where were we?”

She pointed at her neck, giggling. She giggled all the time now, and the look he got in his eyes when she did aroused her, “Right here. Aaaaaand then right there….”

“I’ve created a monster,” he softly laughed into her neck as he laid them both on the sofa.

“Rawr,” Willa said trying to be sultry and sexy, but broke into a full belly laugh, which sent him into a laughing fit. “Sorry,” she said, trying to contain herself. 

Still fighting giggles, he hitched her leg around his waist, “Your eyes light up when you laugh. it’s incredibly sexy, arousing, and beautiful. I am uncontrollably lost in them.”

"You’re such a bloody flirt," she said, as his lips, tongue and teeth made a path from her neck to her chest.

"Only speaking the truth, love." 

Willa licked her lips, completely aroused by his kisses, “I think we’re about to have sex again.” 

"Mmmmhmmmm," he agreed, hand slipping under her sweater, cupping a breast and gently squeezing.

She arched toward him, her hips grinding against his, and she could feel his hardness through his jeans. “Guess we’ll make good use of this alone time. Can’t do much with little eyes and ears around,” she grinned.

Tom chuckled and Willa took in the moment and straddled Tom, her hands splayed out on his chest, her hair falling around her. ”Hello beautiful,” he sighed his hand running up her leg.

She bit her lip and ground against him, feeling the vibration of his moan through his chest. “Hello handsome,” sshe coyly replied, her fingers fumbling with his pants button and zipper. “I’m going to do something I confess I’ve wanted to do since uni.”

He raised an eyebrow at her as she lowered his pants, allowing his cock to spring free. “Since uni?” he asked as he rested on his elbows, his breath hitching as she gently took his shaft in her hands.

"I may have looked sweet and innocent, Tom Hiddleston, and I may have been involved with someone else, but you in a rugby uniform, with those curls made my imagination go wild."

"I did?" he asked seemingly in disbelief as she positioned herself between his legs.

Willa smiled at him, her heart racing at both her confession and what she was about to do. “You did.” 

She took a deep breath, and gently kissed the head of his cock. Her tongue following suit and she licked him fully. His head lolled back and she demanded his attention “Thomas!” she grinned.

His head popped back up and he smirked devilishly at her, his eyes fixed on hers as she licked his length again. She wound her hand around the base of his shaft and slowly took as much as she could of him in her mouth.

"God Wills," he breathed as she felt his hand at the back of her head as she began to suck, lick and run her tongue around him. She watched him writhe, taking in the satisfaction she knew he did when he did the same to her. His fingers wrapped in her hair, pulling it a bit, as she continued her assault on his cock with her mouth and pump him with her hand. He hissed, he bucked, he fucked her mouth, her name heavy on his lips,

She gauged his movements, and when his eyes caught hers again, they were filled with need, and it was all for her. “Wills…I’m so fucking close, and I really fucking need to be in you.”

Always the gentleman she took his warning, but not without one last novel suck that made her lips make a popping noise when she released him. “You are devilish.”

She quickly undid her jeans, and slipped them off and crawled back on top of him. “Devilish huh? Who’s created the monster?” 

“Rawr,” he mocked as she guided him inside of her.

She glared, but smiled as his hands grabbed her sweater and pulled it over her head. She rocked, slowly, his hands finding their way to her hips after he tossed the garment across the room. “Wanker,” she cooed, leaning in and kissing him. 

He thrusted hard and she gasped, eliciting a giggle from her as he continued to meet her rocking movements with his own quick thrusts. Willa rode him, once again he let her command, her hands concentrating on the hardened abdominal muscles beneath her, the sound of skin against skin as he slammed into her filled the suite. His fingers slipped between them and slipped between her folds. She arched as he fondled her clit and his thrusts became quicker, and erratic, his powerful hips and legs now dominating her. She braced herself on his hips, the only thing she could do was moan. It was ecstasy. Her mind, her body, he brought them to a different plane with sex. A world she never knew existed, that she too deserved the pleasure. 

She knew she was close, and she caught his eye. Always the eye contact with him, the fire, the passion, the way his blue eyes darkened with lust… and love for her. All for her. They focused on hers, locked, and she hoped her eyes reciprocated. 

Her moans began to hit higher octaves, and she felt her climax climb from her toes, and take over her body. “Fuck! Tom, harder!” she cried out, as her orgasm hit.

She watched his face as his hips quickened and her walls tightened around him, as his own climax hit. “Fuck Wills!” 

His thrusts slowed and he pulled her down to him, keeping the connection. He cuddled her close, planting chaste kisses on her lips, as he caught his breath, “Wanker huh?”

“Yes,” she giggled. “But you’re MY wanker.”


	9. Chapter Nine

The soft hum and rocking of the train was lulling Willa to sleep. 

The past few days - a complete whirlwind of emotion and activity, nerves and laughter, and very long nights - had left her exhausted. She tucked her legs behind her, curled herself up in her seat, and rested herself against the warm and comforting body of her boyfriend. His nose in a script, he automatically began to run his fingers along her arm in a comforting manner, as if they had been a couple for years, not the mere days they had been unofficially official.

She smiled relishing his touch, and flooding her mind with the memories of the past few days. The walks they had taken, the dancing they had done, the celebrating, the exploration of each other. She was slightly anxious about the future ahead of them, yet felt an unmistakable comfort with that. It was comfort that she had never felt in relationship before, and comfort was definitely what she was feeling.

Content, Willa’s heavy lids won over, and she slipped into a sound sleep as the train barrelled from France to England. 

Tom pulled himself away from his reading and looked down at the sleeping woman curled up to him. Her light brown hair cascaded over her shoulder, and her face relaxed, a smile curled at her lips; a far cry from the woman that rainy afternoon in Regent’s Park months ago. This was his Willa. That girl from Uni whose eyes and smile lit up the room and who’s laugh was contagious. That memory of her pained him. Her lifeless eyes, and gaunt cheeks, her skin ruddy and stressed, nearly unrecognizable as she walked with Molly. He loved watching her rebirth. That rekindling of that spark she had for life. Yet, he wanted to know. He wanted to know what happened behind closed doors, what torment Jack put her through, and in the same instance, he was fine not knowing.

Willa murmured and shifted, and he re-covered her with his jacket. The smile still apparent on her face brought one to his as he liked to think he had something to do with hers. No turmoil, no sadness it was just Willa. He thought back to the conversations he had with Johanna trying to pick her brain; if Willa had shared anything with her. 

"That’s why she’s in counselling, Tom. She couldn’t share. She doesn’t know how, or I think she’s too embarrassed. Which, makes me hate him even more." Jo had said, and she was the closest to Willa "There was a time that he tried to block her from me and her parents, when she was pregnant. That didn’t fly too well." 

He listened to what Jo had to say, her disdain and distrust of Jack was always apparent yet she put those feelings aside because she thought Willa was happy. Willa quickly became an expert at hiding things, and it wasn’t until Jack left her that she was finally able to step forward. She still had fear, she still was unsure about many things, yet she trusted him. 

His thoughts ran back to his university friend and rugby teammate. While they very rarely studied together as they had two different fields and majors, they intermingled quite a bit through the sport. Jack was a dominant player. Aggressive on the field, he had a take no prisoners attitude and was in it to win it. He recalled past team parties, where Willa attended. He smiled as he remembered the vibrant girl, her and Jack were newly a couple. They seemed happy. Had their tiffs like couples do. He recalled a few times when he was stern with her, and her dishing it back. He thought of when he attended their wedding. She smiled and looked happy, but her eyes hid something. He remembered that when he danced with her, her eyes hinted sadness and some fear. He should have known, he figured she was a nervous bride, and it was definitely something more.

Willa napped soundly and woke a little before pulling into London. She stretched and got her bearings, Toms arm wrapped around her and he offered her a smile. 

“Sleep well?” he asked then kissed her nose as she cuddled up to him.

“Yes, thank you. I’m sorry, I wasn’t much company, I’m just exhausted.” She explained, a bit of guilt on her voice. 

He laughed, “Darling, you’ve had a very busy few days.”

A grin spread across her lips as she agreed. “It has been, maybe I need to learn how to run on a few hours sleep to keep up with you.”

“The next holiday will not be work related.” he said, “Or emotional, or rushed.”

Willa sighed, “I wouldn’t change this trip to Paris one bit. That city will never be the same.”

He tucked his finger under her chin, and kissed her lips. “Truly lived up to it’s nickname.”

The train slowed, and announced it’s upcoming arrival into Waterloo station. “I have this gut feeling Molly is going to be more excited to see you than me.” Willa laughed.

“Oh, I’m sure as time progresses my novelty will wear off.”

“I’m not so sure, she’s quite attached.” 

He smiled “Tom and his girls.”

The sentiment made her heart flutter and she nuzzled him “I like that.”

He pulled out his phone and arranged it to take a selfie of the two of them. He nuzzled her back, and he snapped the picture. “Perfect.” he said. 

“Our first selfie as a couple.” she giggled.

“And it’s my favourite.” He affirmed.

Willa stepped off the train onto the platform first. It wasn’t long before she heard the heart fulfilling call of “Mummy!” from her precocious daughter, and her little arms wrapped around her waist. Willa knelt to Molly’s height and hugged her.

“Oh I’ve missed you.” She said “You were good for Auntie Jo?”

Molly nodded, “We had lots of fun! We stayed up late!”

Willa laughed and side-eyed Johanna. “I heard! Guess what, I have a surprise for you.”

Molly’s eyes grew wide, as Tom descended from the train as if on cue. Her mouth dropped open, and as Willa foretold, Molly quickly ran to the man, who in turn gathered her in his arms. She tucked her head on his shoulder and and her little arms splayed around his shoulders. Willa swallowed hard, and bit her lip to keep herself together. Johanna handed her a tissue, which broke the moment. Willa nudged her best friend, who nudged her back,

"She’s a daddy’s girl." Jo whispered to Willa out of earshot. "Wrapped around his finger." 

Willa sighed, and while the urge to correct her, to not place that title onto him out of respect, there was no denying that bond they had. ”Well, he will be a major part of her life, no matter what.” 

Jo rolled her eyes, “I know too soon, but it’s all Jack’s loss.” 

"Yes it is." Willa agreed.

*~*~*~*~*

After a few more whirlwind days in London. Tom left to finish his press tour. Willa knew that this was how it was going to be with his career and the two weeks away would be an adjustment for both her and Molly. As much as she wanted him to spend the night, he went back to his flat every night, both agreeing it was for the best.

They skyped and Facetimed almost daily, Tom doing his best to get bedtime story to Molly daily through video message. Willa missed the intimacy, but knew she would have him home for a few months before he left to film again. She knew the upcoming months would be a test for her, and while she looked forward to growing their relationship, she had a slight fear of what his fame ensued. 

*~*~*~*

Molly’s birthday came, Willa and Jo had planned an “Alice In Wonderland” themed tea party for her. The early November Saturday was chilly yet sunny, a perfect day for a tea party with 12 little girls. Willa and Jo spent the morning decorating, Molly was with her grandparents, getting dressed and her hair curled just right.

Willa was quick to admit that other than the two phone calls to harass Jo, Jack never reached out to ask about his daughter’s birthday, it pained her. Molly still had somewhat of hard time with Jack and his leaving, and Willa’s creative answers were frustrating her. She was still far too young for the truth, that bitter truth that she hoped she would never have to tell.

By mid-afternoon Willa’s house was filled with giggling little girls in fancy dresses. She was thrilled that some of the parents stayed, and chatted as she and Jo hosted. Little tea sandwiches, tea desserts and tea cups, and a mad-hatter cake lined the outside table. 

 

The garden was decorated in Wonderland fashion, and the girls played games as Willa readied the snacks and treats. The smile on Molly’s face was priceless, and not once did she ask about Jack. It was all about Tom. While she was sad that he wasn’t going to make her party, she understood that he would see her the following day. Molly and Tom talked a bit that morning, and he assured her of a tea party the following day and she was thrilled. 

Jo and Esther helped serve the girls the tea, and Willa made sure her birthday girl was taken care of. She leaned against the wall and took a deep breath, proud of her successful event, happy to see her baby girls smile.

"This may be the most beautiful tea party I’ve attended." 

Willa let out a startled squeak as Tom’s voice came from behind her. She inhaled sharply, not knowing whether to laugh or cry, “but you…”

He kissed her forehead “Red eye. I couldn’t miss this.” 

She hugged him “Oh thank you! You’re probably knackered! She’s going to be so excited to see you!.”

"I slept on the plane." He assured her "Let me go surprise her." 

Willa watched as he sneaked behind Molly and covered her eyes. When he uncovered them, and she saw him, the reaction Molly had made Willa’s heart feel a joy she wasn’t sure she’d felt before. Her arms wrapped around his neck, and she squeezed him tight. Immediately he being the proverbial circus bear, and his antics had twelve little girls in giggles.

As Willa watched, a mother of one of the little girls tapped her shoulder “Is that Tom Hiddleston?”

It was the first time Willa directly had to deal with his fame, so she smiled and nodded not really wanting to give much information about their relationship ”Yes, Ummm, we went to Uni together, he’s an old friend.” Willa said nervously.

The other woman nodded, and went back to the party as Jo whispered behind her “And he fucks her hard.” 

Willa raised her eyebrows and stifled a laugh, “Johanna!” 

"She’s thinking that anyway, love. Get used to it." Willa sighed, nudged Johanna hard and began cleaning up plates as Tom lead the girls in a dance off. " if his career ever falters, he can grow his hair back out, add a red nose and do the party clown thing."

She tapped Jo lightly on the shoulder and went back to her hosting duties. With games played, presents opened, Happy Birthday sang, candles blown out and cake eaten, it made for a very tired Molly albeit a very successful party. 

"You’ve made her day." Willa sighed as they left Molly’s room after a round of bedtime stories and getting her to wind down. "Thank You."

His hand in hers, as they walked down the stairs to help Jo finish up with cleaning, he gave a gentle squeeze and smiled “You’re my girls.”

Those words, sweet music to her ears. He could come out right and tell her that he loved her more than life itself, but when he said those words, what he did for her daughter today, proved it a million times over. She turned and embraced him, wondering how she could have gone from such a torrid and abusive relationship to the most loving and caring. His arms tight around her, Willa stood on her tip toes and kissed his chin, which made him grin. His eyes showed his exhaustion, hopping on a plane from Los Angeles directly after a premiere, cat-napping, then being the life of the party was written on his face. ”You’re exhausted.” She said “And rehearsals start tomorrow, yes?” 

He smiled and nodded “Bright and early.”

"Stay here. With us." 

His eyes traced the stairs that lead up to Molly’s room, “If she questions?” 

"She will eventually. Or she may not. You’re a fixture in her life, she knows that you care a lot for me. We’ll cross that bridge if she chooses to come to it." 

Tom smiled, “Then I guess it was wise that I brought my overnight.” 

She rolled her eyes and laughed, “Wanker.”

He raised an eyebrow at her and trapped her against the counter, “remember what happened the last time you called me that.” 

Willa bit her lip, and gave him eager eyes “I may have to be reminded.” 

He pressed her against the counter and took her lips with his “I’ve missed this.” He said as he traced her jaw and neck with kisses. 

"Room’s upstairs!" Johanna called as she walked back into the house "Bloody Hell I about caught you shagging on the counter." 

Willa giggled as Tom was quick to reply “like you wouldn’t jump in.” 

"Her yes. You, not so much. The both of you, upstairs!"

Tom began his rehearsals for his play the following day. Tired but happy he left after breakfast which Molly helped him cook. To Willa, it was surreal. Something she still had trouble grasping for she feared it would be gone.

A quick check of her emails and voice mails left nothing from Jack. For the second year in a row he had forgot Molly’s birthday. Willa wondered if she should spare him another excuse. What she really wanted was for Jack to let Molly go. Give her up, cut all ties, no parental rights. She could easily do it on her own. She had been for years, stacking all of the money Jack sent into an account for Molly. Yet Molly was the last bit of control he had over Willa. As much as he ignored them, the fact that he was still deemed her father played in his favor. Willa wondered if maybe she should give it a try, ask him; then she heard the derogatory words he would use flourish in her mind. For now, this would have to be how it was. 

Molly never did question Toms appearances in the mornings. In fact the three of them began to formulate a nice daily rythym. Tom began spending most nights with Willa. Then they would walk Molly to school, he would leave for rehearsal and she would delve into her own work. Some mornings Willa would have to pinch herself to make sure this wasn’t a dream. The happy hum of her house, the laughter…the love, she feared waking up to find that it wasn’t real. His toothbrush in her bathroom, his own drawer for his clothes, the cleared out space in her closet, his pillow on her bed, his scent on her sheets, were the little things that made her smile now. 

*~*~*~*~*

It was a typical morning. Willa and Tom walked Molly to school, Johanna staying behind for a conference call and Willa then diving into edits while Tom recited lines before he left for rehearsals.

Their banter was fun, Jo chiding Willa and the new swing in her career and love life and Willa giving it right back.

"Are you sure you’re not sisters?" Tom said as a Post-It note war began.

"Yeah, I’m just overdone, a little burnt" Jo scoffed as she ducked a wadded paper ball.

With the sound of the doorbell and a quick glance at the security camera, the laughter and banter quickly stopped. ”Mother of Fuck.” Jo reeled.

"What, who is it." Willa said, coming down off her giggle fit.

Jo inhaled sharply as the bell rang again “Call your mum to get Molly from school. It’s Jack.” Willa dropped her cell phone and turned ghost white “Do it Willa, I’ll keep him busy for a minute.” Tom stood as Jo motioned him to sit “let me see what he wants.”

Jo left the office and Willa called her mother, explaining the situation and to not bring Molly home unless her, Jo or Tom called her. Her heart raced, fear set in her eyes as she looked at Tom. “Stay here, it’s between me and him.”

"Willa…" 

She shook her head “Please.”

Jo bounded down the stairs, took a deep breath and opened the door. He stood there, arrogant look in his face and dressed to the nines. ”Johanna!” He sang with false joy.

"Jack." She replied dully "what brings you here."

"I need to speak with my ex-wife. Is she available." 

"You mean Willa? That is her name you know."

"Listen cunt, just get her." He glared.

"And the one I have is glorious!" Jo mocked "You stay right there and I’ll get her." Jo ascended the stairs into the office, where the fear already overwhelmed her best friend "He’s nothing Willa. Nothing. Okay."

Willa nodded and squeezed Toms hand, ” I know.”

"You’re in a much better place. Stay close to the door so the camera can see you, we’ll be up here listening okay." Jo assured.

Willa drew a deep breath, kissed Tom on his cheek and grabbed her friends hand. “Code word is ‘Shakespeare’.” She said and made her way down the stairs. ”Jack?”

He turned and the grin he gave her nauseated her. He was dressed in a suit, his typical attire, something Willa remembered used to make her swoon now perpetually disgusted her “Hello Willa, do you have a few minutes?” 

She shrugged, “Sure, what do you need?” 

He glanced around her home and scoffed “Nice to see what my money can buy.”

She sighed crossing her arms, building her wall against him “My money, but that’s beside the point, what do you need.”

He glared at her, that she dared answer him like that. “Actually, we need to talk about a certain event that occurred a couple of months ago, between you and Victor Hendricks.”

"What about it."

Another glare “It seems you pressed charges, and well the BBC can’t hire him with a record. Normally these petty HR things I scoff at, but when I saw your name attached, it intrigued me. Rohypnol? Are you that cold that it takes a roofie in order to fuck you?”

Willa ignored the insult “Get to your point Jack.”

"My point!" He retorted "my point is you need to drop the case!"

She knitted her eyebrows together “(stay strong Willa) No. There’s no way, he deserves to have that on his record.”

"Oh does he? Even though he failed to fuck you, you won’t give him a bloody chance." 

"No."

Jack’s features softened and he approached her, hand out as he caressed her cheek “Nothing? Not even perhaps giving Molly a sibling?” 

Willa felt bile rise in her throat, she cleared it and stepped back “Not on your life. You can’t even remember your own daughters birthday. You abandoned us remember? Expected us to wait for your beck and call. No. Not ever.”

Anger flashed in Jacks eyes, and Willa reminded herself to stand her ground and that she had support right up the stairs. He gritted his teeth and raised his finger “you defied me! You were supposed to give me a boy.” 

Willa rolled her eyes “Defy? And I honestly had no choice in the sex of OUR baby, Jack. Honestly, you call yourself educated.” She let out a half hearted laugh, and she jumped when he slammed his fist on the table.

"Don’t you laugh at me you bloody bint!"

Tom got up and went to the door jamb, ready to pounce; his fist opening and closing. “She’ll call, love. She’s holding her own.” Jo reminded him gently.trying her best to keep him calm ”I know. I want to kill him too.” 

Willa inhaled sharply “No, I will laugh at you, because I escaped you. I got out of your tyranny you bloody pathetic useless excuse for a man. Ha. Ha.” She knew she was playing with fire, and his face contorted.

"Drop. The. Fucking. Charges. Willa." He said through gnashed teeth.

A quick thought entered Willa’s mind and she played on it “If these charges are so far up your arse, then give up Molly. Let her go. We. Don’t. Need. You.” 

Willa watched as Jack made a fist and his jaw clenched, and felt fear. She knew he wasn’t expecting this, that he expected her to cower and do whatever she asked. Molly was the only way that he had control over her, and she used that power on him.

“Don’t be a fucking twat, Willa. You stupid, no brained woman.”

“You have no use for her. Give her up. Let her live a life free from you.”

Jo and Tom stood wide-eyed in the door jamb, listening to them spar and fight their demands. Tom could see Jack, and watched his movements as he grew more angry. His heart and mind racing, of what Willa went through those years, Jacks demeaning tone making him nauseated. He concentrated on keeping his own anger in check, keeping his promise to Willa. 

“You see with her, I can still make your life miserable.”

Willa’s heart thumped, oh how she hated him “Why is that so important Jack? Go. Leave us. Go and fuck all your whores. “

He grinned manically “You FAILED to give me a son! Just drop the charges WILLA!”

“Give up your daughter! Give up this anger you have on us!”

Jack then knew he was unmatched. The woman that he had thought he beat down to a meager existence was no longer. What stood before him was strong, and willed, and unrelenting. He knocked a chair down and charged after Willa, and she could no longer contain her fear. Her voice waivered as she jumped back, “This is all very Shakespeare”

The first syllable barely escaped her lips as Tom hopped the stairs, “Back off her Jack.”

Jack spun around, with a confused and angry look on his face “What the fuck is all this? Hiddleston?”

“Leave her alone.” Tom said standing in front of Jack with an aggressive stance.

“Heh, it’s nice to see you too old friend, but Not until she drops the charges.”

“We’re not friends and she’s made her demand.” 

“Fuck demands, She’s a dumb cunt.”

Tom inhaled keeping his temper in check “She’s not. She’s the civil one here. You’re asking her to drop charges on a man that nearly raped her. She’s asking you to give up something you don’t care about.”

“You’re fucking her!” Jack laughed “She’s a horrible lay, good luck with that.”

Tom clenched his jaw, “Really Jack, did you come here to exchange insults and demand without anything in return?”

“Yes.” Jack replied matter-of-fact, “Because Willa is a disgusting trollop, and her daughter will never amount to anything but that. “

“You need to leave Jack.” Willa sighed not wanting to hear any insults gearing toward Molly. 

“Fuck you, you smarmy bitch. Does that bother you? If I call “what’s her name” insults? That you know she’ll grow up to be a disgusting cunt like her mother. That she’ll never amount to anything, that she’ll probably suck cock for a sixpence by the Thames.”

Willa gnashed her teeth, losing herself as she came to the defense of her daughter “Fuck you, you fucking bloody cockless arse! Leave my home! Now!”

In a split seconds time Jack grabbed her upper arm roughly and pulled her to him, as he yelled back at her, “Don’t you EVER talk to me like that!!” and he swung at Willa with his right hand, knocking her right below the left eye. She yelped, and saw stars momentarily, and with her left hand, with all her might, all the power she could summon, punched Jack in the cheek.

Vehemently, Tom pulled Jack off Willa and got a good punch to his chin, and slammed him violently against the wall “You fucked up!”

“Don’t you EVER talk about MY daughter like that!” She cried.

“You fucking whore, both you and her.” Jack said.

"Don’t you even think about talking to her again“Tom spat through gnashed teeth, slamming him against the wall again.

Jack pushed Tom off of him, and walked to the door. He looked at the three of them, Jo consoling Willa, who’s eye was now bleeding, and at Tom. “Fucking made for each other. And Hiddleston… I always thought you went for cock anyway.”

“Just not yours.” Tom answered, grabbed Jack again by the shirt and pushed him out the door. “Get the fuck out of here.”

Willa waited until the door closed before she collapsed, her knees buckling underneath her “Willa. Willa. Willa.” Jo said as a comfort and she tried to balance her friend “He’s gone.”

She sobbed, a heart breaking cry as Tom pulled her to her feet, and wrapped his arms around her. “I’m sorry Wills. I wasn’t fast enough. I should of saw it coming.”

Jo ran to the bathroom and grabbed a clean washcloth and wet it with warm water. He walked her over to the sectional and sat her down. Crouching in front of her, he took the washcloth and dabbed her eye cleaning the cut, his fingers gently touching the growing welt. Willa looked away, it felt that everything that she worked so hard for in therapy crumbled away. The pain in Toms eyes too much for her to bear, her tears fell hot and fast. All the memories that she harbored with her life with Jack bubbled, and it was too much. Her eye hurt, her hand hurt, her arm hurt, but not as much as her heart did.

“I’m sorry.” she eked out, lips quivering, still unable to look him in the eye.

He couldn’t say anything. Confusion and pain swept through him. This beautiful strong woman that sat in front of him apologized for gaining her life back and for that moment, showed him what she suffered. Anger welled inside of him; anger for the torment that she endured, anger for the lack of respect of an innocent child. Tom paced, that anger consuming him. He was angry that he couldn’t stop what just transpired, angry that the woman he loved endured so much. His mind raced, playing Jack’s punch over and over in his head. The sound of him hitting her, the cry she made as he connected. 

He failed her. And she apologized to him.

It was too much for him. 

Tom grabbed his jacket, and looked at the women sitting on the couch, and what may have been his lowest moment, choked back his emotion “I have to go.”

Jo stood up and yelled, “You fucking KNOB! You can’t LEAVE HER! You can’t walk out on her like this!!”

He furrowed his brow and his heart sank as Willa looked away, closing the door behind him.

~*~*~*~*~*

A/N: the next two chapters delve into Willa’s past with Jack… And it’s not pretty. If you ever find yourself in this predicament, there are several private and protected ways to get you to safety. You do not have to live in fear.

US: 1-800-799-SAFE

UK: 0808 2000 247


	10. Chapter Ten

“Let him go Jo, just… let him go.”

Willa wasn’t sure what hurt worse, the pain in her cheek or her heart. Her chest felt like it was caving in, just like her world was. She struggled to breathe, trying not to accept that this was how it was going to be. Her hands shook as she removed the blood stained cloth from her eye, wincing as it felt like the whole left side of her face was swelling. Jo knelt in front of her, and examined her injury.

“If we can’t get this swelling to go down, we may need to take you to a doctor.” Jo examined as Willa nodded, and silently prayed that this was the worst. It was bad enough she was going to have to wear his marks until it healed, but to explain it or worse lie about it demeaned her more. Jo went back to the kitchen and grabbed two bags of frozen veggies. She handed one to Willa who gently placed it on her eye, and Jo took her hand, and held it as she placed the other bag on Willa’s hand. “I’m proud of you.”

Willa cocked a half smirk through the tears that still fell “Thanks I guess. Punched by the Ex, the current one can’t handle it. Proud.”

Jo tucked some hair behind Willa’s ear, “You stood up to him. He couldn’t compete with you and that’s why this happened. It’s no excuse, but that demand with Molly? That was brilliant. He didn’t know how to react, and like a child, he threw a tantrum. You got a pretty good hit in there too.”

Willa sighed, “I guess.”

Jo gently embraced her friend. “I know where your mind is, I wish I could make this all go away for you.”

Willa sobbed again, and then found herself laughing to keep from crying “I am always such a mess.”

“But you’re my mess.” Jo declared.

~*~*~*~*~*

Tom went straight to the rehearsal hall. Over and over again his mind played Jack striking Willa, and his figured slow reaction. He should have anticipated, he should have got between them, he wondered if Jack had ever struck Willa before. Her brave face burned in his mind, her bloody eye, her demand for absolute freedom for both her and Molly. 

He had hoped that running lines would selfishly occupy his mind, that the angry tyrant he was playing would help settle him. In fact was making him feel worse. 

He left her. 

Without a goodbye, or a kiss or a touch. He left her there, in tears and a bloody mess for someone else to handle. That wasn’t love, but neither was letting the woman you loved get attacked and seemingly do nothing about it. 

He sat in his dressing room, elbows on knees, hands wrapped around his head as he stared at the floor. The room spun as his heart and mind ached. The permeating sounds of her yelp and sob, now joined the images, a deserved torture. A knock on the door brought in a co-star, a confidante, someone who had already called out that Tom wasn’t himself, out of focus, completely distracted. Mark closed the door, and took a seat in front of Tom, realizing the man had been crying.

“Are you going to tell me what’s going on, because I have never in my life of knowing you have seen you like this.”

Tom inhaled sharply, and ran his hands over his eyes to stop the sting of tears, “I failed her Mark. I failed her this morning.”

“Failed whom? Willa?

Tom nodded choked back his emotion, taking the handkerchief Mark handed him “Her ex husband paid her a surprise visit, demanding that she drop charges on the bloke that attempted to rape her months ago. I think the abuse in their relationship ran deeper than she’s letting on. She stood up for herself, and her daughter, and he couldn’t take it. He attacked her, and I should have saw it coming.”

Mark looked at him inquisitively “Is she okay? Why are you here?”

Fresh tears formed in Toms eyes and he turned them away from his friend “I couldn’t handle it. Seeing that happen, and knowing I should have done something. Watching her take that hit. I failed her, I should have seen it coming, and I wonder how many times has he done this? I wonder, after hearing him do nothing but insult her, how deep and how far did it go? He abandoned her shortly after she had Molly because she was a girl….”

Mark cut him off mid sentence “And here you sit, while she’s in pain dealing with this alone; I’m sorry my friend, you’re playing at his level.”

Tom huffed and knew his friend was correct. “You’re right.”

“I’m sure Willa doesn’t feel that way. I’m pretty sure she could use you right now.”

A knock interrupted them, and a stagehand notified Tom that there were some constables outside that needed to speak to him. He scoffed, and Mark excused himself. “Go to her; don’t make her expect abandonment.” 

Two officers walked in, introduced themselves, and explained that they needed to talk to him regarding the event that morning.

*~*~*~

The knock startled Willa and Johanna. They hadn’t called Esther to bring Molly home, and Tom had a key, so the pair sat anxiously as both the bell rang and another pounding on the door.

"If it’s Jack, he dies," Jo warned as she got up to answer it. A look through the peephole and an audible scoff from Johanna told a different story. "You have got to be fucking kidding me." 

She opened the door and two officers introduced themselves and explained that they needed to talk to Willa about what happened this morning. Jo welcomed them in, and pointed them over to Willa. 

"He called the coppers Willa," she announced. 

Willa did her best to stand, but she was still dizzy and sat back down. One look at her face, the officers knew they were dealing with something far different from what the claimant said.

"Ma’am, can you tell us what happened here this morning?" 

One officer took Jo into the office, and the other, a female, sat with Willa on the couch and called a paramedic to come check her eye. Willa requested she not, but the officer demanded. 

"I’m sure he’s told you this elaborate story," Willa sighed. "He arrived here unannounced, ready for confrontation, demanding that I drop charges on a man that attempted to rape me several months ago. He simply didn’t like the fact that I told him no, and he punched me." 

"He says you hit him." 

Willa shrugged, “I very well did, only after he insulted my six year old, who is also his daughter, and attacked me verbally and physically. Reflex, self defense, years of abuse coming to a hilt; I’m a bit sad it wasn’t more.” 

The officer picked up on her key words and asked, “Years of abuse?” 

Willa sighed, twisted her face and adjusted the frozen vegetables on her face, “Should I call my therapist, my attorney or both?” 

As Willa continued to describe what happened, the officer deciphered it was a case of self defense and the assault purely lied on the claimant. “I abhor violence,” Willa said as a medic checked her cut. “This is just a nightmare.” 

The officer asked where Tom went to and Willa shrugged, “Either his flat or the rehearsal hall for the theatre he’ll be performing at. He had a hard time dealing with all of this.” 

"And your daughter?" 

"She’s with my mum, her nana. I had her pulled out of school, I feared his unannounced visit and his mission to make my life miserable would involve him taking her without permission. I have sole custody." 

The other officer came downstairs, announcing that the altercation was all on tape and Jacks claim was false. The two went outside to discuss Willa and Jo’s stories. The medic finished with Willa, satisfied that stitches wouldn’t be needed, but with strict instructions to go to the hospital if the swelling or pain got worse. Cleaned, photographed, and a butterfly bandage applied, he left as the officers came back in.

"What’s the verdict? Do I need to come down and bail her out?" Jo sassed.

The female officer chuckled, “No, not today. Your stories are concise, the copy of the tape explains everything, and once we talk with the third party we’ll make a decision on the matter. Ms. Morgan, one of us will stop by later today or early tomorrow with regards to the possibility of you pressing charges. You ladies take good care. And Ms. Morgan, if Mr. Morgan comes back, please do not hesitate to call us.”

They left and Willa exhaled. “I can’t believe this. I need to call my mum and my attorney. They need to be aware.” 

"I’ll call mum and have her bring Molly home. You call Patricia, you may need to get some paperwork ready.”

Willa choked back a sob, “How do I explain all this to Molly?” 

"For now Willa… An accident is all she needs to know and maybe all she’ll ever need to know."

*~*~*~*~

Tom recounted the events of this morning in ample detail to the officers. He explained he did the best he could to stop Jack civilly, using intellect over muscle but he surprised everyone when he attacked Willa. He admitted he was aggressive when he pulled Jack from his girlfriend, adrenaline rushed, she was hurt. They thanked him, getting the third same story from separate sources. A determination that maybe Jack’s claim was for some kind of retribution since Willa refused to drop the charges on Victor Hendricks.

Tom gathered his gear and took the Underground back to Regent’s Park. He passed the pub, where they frequented and went in. A drink or two would be a quick antiseptic to the pain. He pulled up to the bar and told George a double shot of whisky, which was poured promptly. George, judging Tom by the look on his face that he was stressed, left the bottle of Jameson in front of him. 

The bottle nearly drained and a pretty young blonde trying to stir up conversation were making Tom’s head spin. The girl talked incessantly, trying with all her might to get his acknowledgement, a picture, an autograph. He tried his best to ignore her, and George saw her excessive banter and finally shooed her away.

"Sorry ‘bout dat, Tommy," George said, as he poured another shot for him. "Where might be my favourite lass?" 

Tom shrugged, happy the blonde was gone and missing his Willa. “It’s been a bad day George,” he mustered and threw back the shot.

"Yeah, it looks like it’s been a toughy. Can I call ye a car?" 

Tom shook his head, “I’ll be alright. Mind if I buy a bottle?” 

George looked at the despondent man, thought twice about it, but put a bottle in a paper bag “Ye didn’t get it from me.” 

Tom shot the man a smile, “You’re a good man George.”

He paid the pub owner, wrenched on his jacket and left. The sun had set and the nights chill was settling into the air. The crunch of the fallen leaves under his feet, and the sound of the city surrounded him as he walked, his steps slightly affected by the whisky. It took longer than he thought, nearly going down the street where Willa resided; he couldn’t face her, not yet.

He opened his door and switched on the light, everything pristine as he had left it. Everything in its place, no disarray; cold and lonely. He had been spending most of his time at Willa’s. Her house was noisy, and cheerful, busy, warm and cozy all those things that he adored and most of all it housed the people that he loved. He was sure Molly was home, wondering what had happened, but her amazing exuberance for life was probably making Willa smile. God he hoped she was smiling. The picture that Molly drew, that he toted all around the globe, stood before him on an end table. He picked it up and placed the bottle of Jameson in its stand. He stared at the drawing. It was the day that he allowed himself to fall in love. That naive girl, that hid so much pain… and now he was beginning to see why. 

Tom slouched on the couch and unscrewed the cap taking a large swig from the bottle. He turned on the telly to try and drown his thoughts. The thoughts that kept growing louder and louder. Why was he being such a coward? He knew she had baggage, and that what she was dealing with may have been deep, but how deep? What did Jack do to her? He was so power hungry that he had to have ultimate control in everything? He took another slug from the bottle and shuddered with the thought of her living like that. 

Yet she escaped.

Willa escaped and bravely made a life for herself and Molly. Filed and obtained a divorce, which probably put her life in danger. She took a hobby, made it a career and flourished; in high demand by high fashion and A-List clientele. She stumbled and she faltered, but she allowed him in. In her weak moments she was still one of the strongest women he knew, and at her weakest when she needed him most…he ran away like a scared dog with his tail between his legs. 

The whisky swirled in Tom’s mind. He checked his phone, the first time he looked at it all day and saw numerous missed calls and messages from Luke, the London Police, and Willa. 

Of all people. She had tried to phone him twice, and text him once: “I hope you’re okay. Please check in.” 

Unconditional. Yet, here he was replaying that moment over and over, and she checked on him, and he hadn’t even given her the time of day. Another big gulp from the bottle and the tears stung his eyes. He allowed himself to sob. He felt he was spiraling. His career was skyrocketing, he had travelled around the world, he was esteemed … and then there was Willa. His Willa.

He felt as if he was failing his Willa.

He woke with a start from the whisky induced sleep, the nightmare still being played in his alcohol induced conscious. He sat up slowly and checked his watch, realizing it was only close to midnight, near proof that this day would never end. He sat up, and rubbed his face with his hands, shaking off the inebriation. He walked to the kitchen, and poured himself a glass of water from the tap. He watched the water go down the drain for a moment, and then stopped the tap. There were no drips, no running water a perfect seal of what had been moments before chaotic. He stopped it, and he needed to stop this. He placed his glass in the sink, grabbed his jacket and his keys and ran to Willa’s house. He had to stop the chaos.

He ran full bore, and didn’t stop until he reached her front door. Fumbling with the key, he prepared himself for the worst. Johanna jumped from the sectional, where she was watching a movie, glass of wine in hand, trying to clear her head of the days event. She saw him standing in the foyer and she hoped her glare would kill him before her hands did.

“You have some bloody nerve showing up here.”

“Jo, I know. I fucked up. Where is she?”

“Fucked up? Is that what you call it? Everything is all forgiven? I don’t think she wants to see you.”

“Jo, please,” he begged as she walked closer to him, her eyes raging.

“She needed you. She needed you today, and you left. You left her like HE did. You’re nothing but a selfish pompous arse. A coward. SHE NEEDED YOU!”

He closed his eyes, taking in every ounce of her anger. “I failed her, Jo. I know this. You have every right to be to be incensed.”

“Incensed? Fuck you. I’ll show you incensed. That woman upstairs has done EVERYTHING right in her life to get past this. Everything, including letting YOU into her heart. She trusted you. I trusted you. And this happens … and you COWER! Those people, all your fans, all think that you’re some kind of wonderful, and you LEFT HER!”

He sighed, thinking that maybe he did need to go, that Jo was right and he needed to leave. “I can’t take back what I did. But I need to fix it. Or at least try to stop the chaos. I need to at least apologize. I’m sorry, Jo. I am everything you say I am. I fled in a time of need. I thought I failed her when Jack did what he did, but I didn’t. I let her down when I left. I neglected all of you. And I am sorry.”

“You’re an actor. How do I know your tears aren’t fake?”

He huffed, “Because I love her. And I broke a promise to her, and I am less of a man because of it.”

Jo rolled her eyes. “She’s upstairs asleep. If she tells you to go, don’t fight her. She’s been quiet nearly all day. I think you hurt her more than Jack did. You knob.”

Tom winced with that truth. “Thank you, Johanna.”

He bounded up the stairs and slipped into the bedroom he sometimes shared with Willa. Her playlist was playing. A mix of classical romantic pieces that he knew she played to calm her, to keep her focus. He tiptoed to the bed where Willa lay, Molly curled up and facing her mother; her hand resting on Willa’s protectively. His heart skipped, as he took in the sight of his two sleeping beauties. 

Willa’s injuries were prominent. Her eye swollen and contused, the butterfly bandage keeping the cut together. A bruise hinted under the arm of her night shirt. He counted the finger marks that were left and he swallowed back emotion. Careful not to wake Molly he whispered, his fingers gently touching Willa’s arm, “Wills.”

She jumped a bit as she woke, and searched her surroundings. She looked up, and wasn’t sure how to react to him. Everything hit her at once, and she wasn’t able to form a sentence. 

“Outside, where we can talk,” he whispered assuringly.

She sighed, reluctant to go outside to the terrace, but figured waking Molly in a fit of anger would not make this any better. She slipped out of bed, and Molly shifted but went right back to sleep. She gently pulled a hoodie over her head, and Tom grabbed a blanket for her to ward off the night’s chill and she followed him out to the terrace. She sat in the chaise, as he wrapped the blanket around her. She smelled the whisky on him strongly and she knew he was suffering, and her heart hurt worse, yet her tired and pained eyes looked at him, not knowing if she wanted any answers. 

“Is this it?” she said with a mix of a terse and solemn tone , as she crossed her arms, her wall building. “Did you come back to tell me it’s over? Because I think I would rather sleep than have to deal with another broken heart.”

His heart sinking even deeper, he pulled up a chair and sat close to her; knee to knee. “Oh Willa, no. I came to apologize for my cowardice today.”

Not sure if she was grateful or not, but her anger at him welled. “Apologize? I needed you today. I needed you by me. I needed your embrace and your hand. My ex-husband attacked me, I had the police here, and I had to give Molly an excuse, and you ran. When I needed you. I don’t want to sound clingy, but today … I needed you to love me.”

The pain in her eyes was evident. “Willa, I can’t take that back,” Tom started. “Seeing him hit you, I thought I failed you …”

“No, you did that when you left me, Tom. Should I just get used to it? Willa deserves to be alone? That when things get hinky, you’re just going to run and cower? I sometimes … I sometimes need a little strength behind me.”

“Love, you don’t deserve any of it. I was wrong. What I did …”

She looked away tears forming in her eyes, “I don’t know.”

“Wills …”

“I..I..I may be admittedly naive when it comes to love. I’ve had a bit of a rough start, but I let you in. I was letting myself fall in love with you. I trusted you, and I was beginning to trust you with the shit that I dealt with. I trusted you with the one thing that kept me breathing the past six years. And … Jack wins. It’s like I get this small taste of what love and happiness is and it all gets thrown away. I’m just not worth it.”

“Willa, no,” Tom swallowed hard seeing the damage that he did first hand. 

“No? A few weeks ago you confessed to me that you loved me. I told you my feelings ran deep, and that my heart felt things that I hadn’t felt before. It takes a lot for me to recognize love, Tom, because I never had it. And for the first time in my life, I was beginning to feel what it was all about, and I began to let myself go in Paris. I felt safe with you. You gave me things I had never experienced before … like pleasure. And I needed you today. I just needed you. And you left me.”

He reached out and took her hand, and when she didn’t pull back he felt like he had won a small battle, “I don’t agree with what I did. I was pigeonhearted, and that brought me down to Jack’s level, and I apologize, Willa. Please be angry with me, please be upset, but know in my heart, I do love you, with my heart and soul.”

Her heart wanted to flutter when she heard him say it, but she held strong, the pain welling in her chest. “And if this happens again, or if he, God forbid, takes Molly from me will you just run because you can’t handle it? Or if I decide to confess to you some of the shit I had to deal with, are you man enough to listen?”

“Willa, please. Let me stand by you.”

She bit her lips as they trembled, “Why do I keep thinking you had your chance?”

He felt the tears sting his eyes, and she had every right to end it, but he had to fight for her. He had to reprove himself to her. He reached out and touched her cheek, she didn’t flinch but didn’t melt into his hand like she usually did. She still trusted him, which gave him a chance. 

“Willa, my act of cowardice is irreprehensible. I have no other excuse except my own fear and malignant selfishness. I know that there’s nothing I can do to make up for the hours I was gone, and the tears that you cried, but I am here now. Please let me be what you need. To take your pain away. To love you like you were meant to be loved, to love you urgently, Wills. I want you to trust in me when you’re comfortable to talk. I want to love you until the end of time. I want you to mother my children, and I want to be the best father to Molly, and to live a long and plentiful life surrounded by their voices. I want to love you, Willa.”

She sniffled and turned away, her hand still in his. A sob escaped her, knowing that he never faulted her for her tantrum, when she tried to push him away weeks ago. He loved her unconditionally. She thought he was able to accept her fears, faults and quirks and he was learning to understand them. He could have walked away then, and he didn’t, but he walked away when she needed him most. Her sobs grew heavy. Her heart was pained, but it needed him, it yearned for him, it begged her mind to forgive him. 

"I’m so scared," she finally whimpered, her anger giving in to her need for him. "I’ve never been so frightened in my life. I’m afraid he’s going to try to take Molly and I can’t fight him." He took both her hands gently, her left still a bit swollen. "And then I’m so conflicted with you … part of me wants to tell you to fuck off, the other just needs you to hold me."

He inched closer to her, his blue eyes sincere as they locked on her pained ones. “There’s nothing wrong in doing both. And there’s no way in Hell he’ll take Molly from you. Ever.” 

Her heavy sobs released her fear, and he cautiously offered her his arms. She was reluctant, but she slowly let him wrap himself around her. Her head found his chest and she cried the hardest he had ever heard her cry. This was nothing that Vic Hendricks, or a random argument could bring out. Her sobs were pure fear. He let her cry, his lips whispering the comforting words, and lullabies he heard her use when Molly was upset. 

"Let it out, love," he whispered as his own emotion welled. She curled into him on the chaise, and he rocked her. Her body shook with the sobs and it was all he could do to comfort her,"My gorgeous girl."

"I’m so scared."

"I’ve got you. I promise you, I’m here."

The night grew darker, and the London skyline twinkled in the distance, and it felt like they were the only two in the world. She began to calm a bit after a while and she snuggled deeper into him. Still cautious, he kissed her forehead as she settled next to him. 

"I’m sorry," she uttered.

“No, don’t ever apologize for what you have been through, for what you persevered, Willa.”

She shuddered, all the harboured memories flooding back that she had learned to tame. They taunted her, her safety and her comfort. All in Jack’s voice, loud and booming, demeaning and insulting, and she had to let it out. 

"For the longest time, he said I was worthless," she began and Tom knew Willa was going to try to open up.

He cradled her as she spoke, and he hung on every word she said. She spoke of when it started in University, when one night he didn’t like the way she talked back to him. That acquired her a punch to the mouth, his begging for forgiveness, and a new diamond bracelet.

She went into detail of the verbal abuse, his most used weapon, his sharpest sword. That for years she was threatened and had to ‘put on a smile and pretend that we’re happy’ or he would beat her. It was the rarity that he DID hit her, but he made sure to voice his displeasure behind closed doors.

Jack called her a stupid whore on their wedding day. She explained that what he called ‘sex’ was an abomination, and she wasn’t ’deserving’ of her own orgasm, and in fact her first was with Tom. She went on about the brainwashing he placed on her, and the day she ‘woke up’ was the day she found out she was pregnant. Willa explained on that if the child weren’t a boy, she was afraid he would do something to her to cause a miscarriage. She scheduled an ultrasound prior to them finding out the baby’s gender, and had a complete breakdown when Molly’s lady bits were shown on the screen. Willa paid the technician to keep it quiet, and to keep stating that the baby just didn’t want to cooperate. 

She recalled when she gave birth, the look of disgust he had on his face. Yet she gave him credit for trying to dote on his daughter. It was Willa, in charge of all the diapers, feedings and care. She was sleep deprived from colic, he never let one of their parents help ever, and at one point he hinted at putting Molly up for adoption. When Willa scoffed, that’s when he left for China. Where he did try again to be a father, from a distance then just gave it all up. 

"I like to think Molly saved my life," she cried softly. "It was after he dropped all communication that I got brave and filed. Which started it all back up, so I changed mobile numbers, moved in with Mum and Dad and started over. It still nauseates me how sad I was on that day the divorce was final, the power he still had over me, how I still wanted him to take me back … and then Molly and I went for a walk that day in Regent’s and it changed our life."

"My Wills," he sighed, gently wiping tears from her eyes. "You are the bravest woman I know." 

She laced her fingers with his, cuddling closer to keep herself warm, “I just want all of it gone. I can’t throw away what I went through, but he can’t have anymore control over us.” 

She shivered, both from the cold and from thoughts of Jack. 

"And he won’t, not while I’m around. Let’s get you inside where it’s warm." Tom helped her up, and lead her down the small staircase back into her bedroom. He waited as she washed her face, stared at displeasure of the injury in the mirror and watched as she pulled her bangs to cover her eye. 

Molly was splayed out in the centre of the bed, taking full advantage of being alone in the big bed. They both shared a much needed laugh as Willa moved her daughter. “Stay with us. Please. I just really need you.” 

He smiled, there was no way he was leaving ever, if he had his way. “Of course, let me go change.” 

With Willa in the centre and Molly curled up again to her, Tom slipped in and gently wrapped Willa in his arms. He kissed her behind the ear, and whispered, “I love you, my brave, gorgeous, Wills.”

She smiled, feeling for the first time in hours that her world was okay, that things no matter how bad, would turn out alright. She squeezed his hand, and tangled her legs in his, a secure feeling surrounding her “I love you too, wanker.” 

She said it, she knew it, she felt it. 

She heard him take a sharp breath, and he placed another chaste kiss on her lips, and he nuzzled against her, tears welling in the corner of his eyes. “Sweet dreams, my brave gorgeous girls.” 

 

A/N: the next two chapters delve into Willa’s past with Jack… And it’s not pretty. If you ever find yourself in this predicament, there are several private and protected ways to get you to safety. You do not have to live in fear.

US: 1-800-799-SAFE

UK: 0808 2000 247


	11. Chapter Eleven

Laughter and music roused Willa from an unexpectedly sound sleep. She blinked as she adjusted to the light and could tell her eye was swollen; the empty bed clued her in on the laughter. She made her way to the bathroom and stared at herself in the mirror. 

Her eye remained half shut, purple and swollen, it looked worse than it felt. She smirked and tried to cover it with her hair, with little success. 

She had a fleeting worry and she feared what others would think. She was afraid that most would think that Tom could have actually done this. Will thought about his rising career. If rumours spread and the truth untold, it could ruin his career. She sighed and hoped that the calls she made yesterday would not let that happen. He had so much coming up, if need be, she’d happily be the recluse for a few weeks, or blame a kitchen cabinet like she told Molly.

She blew the hair that fell over her injured eye out of her face, faked a smile and left the bathroom to join in whatever good time was being had in the kitchen.

Tom and Molly were both standing at the stove. Molly, standing on her stepstool and Tom protectively guiding her arm as they flipped pancakes. Willa watched them silently, and undetected for a few moments taking in how gentle and patient he was with her. The new giggle Molly had when he made her laugh warmed Willa’s heart.

“Ready, now, one, two, three…FLIP!” he laughed, his hand with hers on the spatula tossing a pancake in the air and they watched it flop back into the pan. Her giggle filled the house with such a sweet sound, and nothing was going to take that away from her…ever. 

“Well, it seems you’ve kissed and made up.” Jo said, sarcastic tone to her voice as she walked down the stairs.

Willa sighed, “We talked at length, yes. We have a much better understanding.”

Jo faced her friend, and her hand skimmed Willa’s eye and sighed “Well, if he fucks up again, I’m cutting his cock off. Then he could really be a pussy.” she declared, then added with a frown “And we should really have that looked at by a doctor. Okay?”

Willa nodded as she chuckled, “I’ll give him the warning, and I will call after breakfast.” 

Molly heard the women talking and scampered out to them, “Mummy! We were going to bring you breakfast in bed,” she said slightly downtrodden, wrapping herself in Willa’s arms.

“Oh! Well I guess I can go back upstairs!” Willa smiled trying to save her daughter from disappointment. 

Molly thought for a second, and ran back to the kitchen, “Tom! Mummy’s awake and so is Auntie Jo. Can we just eat down here?”

“Of course.” he answered as Willa walked into the kitchen to see a full breakfast being prepared. His eyes fixed on hers, and as always her heart fluttered as he leaned in for a quick kiss on her lips. “Good morning, love.”

She felt her breath catch as a real smile formed on her lips and she silently wondered and hoped if it would always be like this, even after their worst days together. The way he looked at her, even when she looked her worst, always melted her. He tucked his finger under her chin and examined her eye; a look of disdain set in his eyes. Willa laughed, uncomfortable with all the attention and trying to keep it light.“It…it looks worse than it feels. Honest. You two have been very busy!”

He turned and laughed, running a hand through his hair as Molly dragged her step stool to the cabinet and collected plates to set the table. “It looks like Molly has everything under control?” 

Willa and Jo helped Molly with the table as Tom finished getting the meal ready. The sound of laughter and loudness, with the music playing in the background warmed her heart. Nearly twenty-four hours earlier the same room that contained fear, pain and violence now sang a different tune of joy and family. Willa hoped that song would continue to sing loud. 

Breakfast done and the dishes cleared, Willa hurried Molly up the stairs to get ready for school. Esther would be by soon to take her, knowing that Willa wouldn’t be ready for the looks and the questions. As Molly dressed, Willa went back into the bathroom to address her injury. The cut was nasty, and she wasn’t sure how he didn’t break the eye socket with the force he used. She examined it, and ran a washcloth under the warm water, sighing with frustration and damning Jack under her breath.

“Let me help you with that,” Tom said, placing his hand on hers.

She looked away embarrassed. The memory of yesterday still heavy on her mind “I’ve got it, really.”

“Nonsense,” he sighed taking the cloth from her hand and dabbing the cut. “I think we should go to the doctors today.” She couldn’t look at him and he picked up on it. “My gorgeous girl.”

“Please Tom, I’m hideous” she scoffed.

He put the cloth down and picked up the antiseptic, and dabbed a bit on the cut “No my love, you are far from hideous.”

She rolled her eyes (the best she could) and he tucked his finger under her chin. She finally brought her eyes to his and he smiled before kissing her deeply. “I love you my brave, beautiful Willa.”

She returned the smile and kissed him back, before a knock on the door interrupted them, “Mum. I need help.”

He rested his forehead on hers, and they shared a laugh, “Plaits can’t do themselves.” she sighed.

She followed Molly out to the bedroom where the youngster proclaimed that “Snogging was gross” before she plopped herself down on the bed so Willa could do her hair. 

“Well snogging the right person isn’t gross,” Willa corrected her.

“Nope, not ever,” Molly canted sourly.

“Well, that saves us some worry then, yeah?” Tom asked with a smile from the doorway of the bathroom.

Willa giggled, and Molly gave them both a terse look.

*~*~*~*~*~ 

The morning kept to its typical noisy routine. Molly and Esther were about to leave, and there was a loud knock on the door. Willa gasped, not expecting anyone for quite some time, and both she and Johanna were jumpy from the prior day’s dealings, Jo gave her a pensive look, and checked the peephole. “Oh dear God.” 

“Who is it?” Willa asked, her voice wavering.

“It’s Alastair, and quite the motley crew,” Jo said. “Patricia is with him.” 

Willa’s breath hitched, and she felt the anxiety build. Patricia was supposed to be by the house in the afternoon, and why would Jack’s father be with her?

Anxiety was quickly turning to fear, feeling her chest go tight, Willa reached out to Molly and pulled her close, “Let them in.”

Jo opened the door and the crowd walked in. Alastair was dressed for business, and Willa felt her knees buckle. Tom must of sensed it since Willa felt his arm wrap around her waist to hold her up. “Alastair!” she mustered, trying to sound pleasant. “What do I owe this surprise?”

The older man glanced at Willa, and his eyes told her a different story than what was circulating through her mind. He looked at her eye, and then lovingly down at Molly, “I think we all have a pretty good reason on why I am here,” he answered, reaching out and turning Willa’s chin to get a better look of his son’s damage. “I wasn’t expecting the little one here, no school?”

“She was actually just on her way out the door with her Nana. We got a bit of a late start, it was a long rough day yesterday,” Willa replied softly.

Alastair smiled at Molly who was looking at him inquisitively, “I understand.” He looked down at Molly who managed a smile at him, “Sofie did love her so. You have a good day at school, lass.”

“Thank you, sir,” Molly said, still not truly placing whom this man was.

Willa was apprehensive to let her go, but she knelt down and kissed her daughter, “I’ll see you later today, okay.”

Molly nodded and hugged her mother, “I love you, Mum. I love you, Tom.”

Willa’s heart fluttered at the sentiment towards him, and Tom knelt to be at her level, “We love you too, sweet pea. Have a good day.”

"I’ll give you a call later, Mum," Willa managed to say as Esther took Molly’s hand and lead the girl out, closing the door behind them. Willa sighed nervously, “I’m sorry, let me make you all some tea.” 

“I’ve got it, Willa,” Patricia said “I think there’s some talking that needs to be done.”

Nervously, Willa lead them into the living room and she was visibly shaking. Tom took her hand, and squeezed it gently, as Jo sat protectively beside her. She inhaled sharply and quickly decided that she may as well throw her fear out to the forefront

“Are you going to try to take Molly away from me?”

Alastair looked upon Willa with sad eyes, “Oh, my dear Willa. I could never take that beautiful child from you, from this. From the love that surrounds her. While I am saddened that my presence here would bring such a thought, it is understandable. So that leads to your next thought, why I am here, and why I brought this entourage with me.”

Willa exhaled audibly and nodded, feeling only a bit of relief. There was still Jack to contend with. Alastair stood and walked around the area, looking at pictures in frames, most of Molly in various stages of youth.

“Sofie really did love her. And I am forever grateful for you being beside her in her illness. She respected and loved you too, Willa. We had a conversation one night before she passed, that she feared for you. She feared that our own son was mistreating you. That there was something going on that we weren’t privy too. I sadly confess I ignored Jack’s hostility and rage towards you while he was working in the London office, thinking it was just an office behaviour, that he was stressed about work and his actions never made it to your home.

When she passed, it was a few months after that I heard a very unsettling argument between the two of you and then I knew she was right. I decided then to send Jack to China. I figured one of two things; space would be good, or you would flee. I kept hearing Sofie’s concern and I couldn’t understand where I, myself, failed as a father.”

Patricia set out the tea and began to serve out cups as Alastair continued, with one of Molly’s dolls in his hands. “Sofie and I didn’t raise Jack to be misogynistic and abusive. We raised him in a loving home, with the best education. Willa, I do not know where or when he turned. Yesterday afternoon, I overheard Jack speaking to Peter of what happened here. I heard him use adjectives to describe you that I knew were not the truth. I called Peter in, and found that Jack called an investigation on YOU, in order to take Molly away. When they came here to talk to you, that table turned based on your injuries, story and video. Willa, when I spoke to Jack he said that you struck him, and you rightfully did, darling you’ve left quite the bruise on his cheek. Yet, what I see here in front of me is a mother that will stand at anything to protect her child. Jack confessed what he said and did last night, and his intentions after a lengthy argument. Willa I apologize, I did not raise my son to be the man he is, and I as his father have made some decisions.”

Willa looked at him puzzled, and felt her anxiety well again. Patricia sat across from her and gave Willa an assuring smile,“It’s okay, trust me.”

“I called Peter into a meeting regarding this situation. He said he had already received word from Patricia’s office that there would be a filing and that charges would be pressed in the attack. I had them both draw up the papers. Willa, I had Jack sign them, as I feel he is no man to be the father to such a beautiful little girl. He’s abandoned her, he’s made no attempt to see her, his abuse, and his complete disdain of this beautiful child all factor in for an easy revocation. I also want you to keep the charges against Victor Hendricks. Willa, I advise you press charges against Jack today. He will be leaving for China, yes, but the charges against him will keep him from entering England and causing you any more harm. You and Molly deserve a happy life. I will be making deposits into Molly’s accounts. I understand that making Jack give her up means that my rights are termed. I haven’t been the best grandfather, but all I ask is for a picture and an update on how she is doing from time to time. Sofie loved her so much.”

There were tears in Alastair’s eyes as he remembered his late wife, and the potential loss of his granddaughter.

Willa exhaled, overwhelmed and angered by the confession, the promise, and the deal that was laid out before her. “Forgive me for saying this and being so brash, but I’m having a hard time believing everything you just said. How did you get Jack to so willingly sign these papers, when he was so adamant on going to try to take her from me? I’m really confused and pained that you knew. You knew how horrible he was to me. YOU KNEW! Is this an act to clear your conscious? Before Jack possibly loses his mind more and kills one of us?” 

Willa continued to feel the anger well within her. Her fists clenched and and she visibly shook, “Is this to keep your family name from being tarnished? To protect Jack when he deserves nothing?”

Alastair looked at her, his sad eyes deepening. ”It’s why I sent him to China!! To protect you and Molly!” 

"You knew! You knew how he had controlled me with fear!" Tears flooded Willa’s eyes and she wiped at them vigorously, regardless of the injury. She stood and finally realized that she had an audience. "Patricia, are those papers legitimate? Did he really sign? Or is there some bullshit clause in there that will fuck me over the Morgan way?"

Patricia cleared her throat and gripped the folder in front of her, “I had my team go over them several times, because termination of rights is such a difficult case for the courts. They are your standard revocation papers and I witnessed his signature. Willa, this will fully term his rights. There will be no way he can try to renegotiate.”

Willa winced as she again wiped her eyes, her injury throbbing, as she took the folder from Patricia. “If I sign these, no more. No more Morgan influence. Keep your money, Alastair. Molly and I are getting by without it just fine. We don’t need to be extorted.”

“WIlla, please.”

“No!” she said through her teeth, “If I falter, I have enough support around us that we will not fall and we will never need your assistance.” 

Alastair closed his eyes, knowing he fully deserved her anger. “I understand. Willa, I am incredibly sorry that it has come to this, and I know it’s partially my fault. I wish a happy life for you and Molly, and if you should ever need a last resort, please don’t hesitate to call.”

“No worries, I won’t,” Willa spat.

“Very well. Patricia you can handle all the details and if there is anything that Willa or Molly shall need from me, you can reach out to Peter and he will make sure it will get taken care of. I will take my leave, and I am truly sorry.” 

Willa’s arms crossed her chest in that protective manner, and Tom got up from the couch and stood next to her, his arm wrapping around her offering his solidarity. “Thomas, I wish you all the luck in your career, and please, do take care of them. They deserve nothing but love.”

Tom’s hand found Willa’s shoulder and he held her close to him, “That will never be a problem, sir.”

Willa watched as Alastair and Peter gathered their things. Alastair turned to give another pleading look at Willa and she shook her head. He nodded, tipped his hat and was followed out the door by Peter. 

“This nightmare will not stop!” Willa exhaled, her hands still gripping the folder holding the papers that contained her total emancipation. “He knew.”

She slouched back onto the couch next to Johanna and heaved a heavy sigh, “Patricia, how long after I sign these will this go to court?”

“One to six months, depending on evidence and granted he’s paid support, but that’s all he’s really ever done.”

“And there’s nothing in here that could potentially block future adoption if I ever remarry? That he would torment her when she gets older?” Johanna put her hand on Willa’s as Tom pulled her close to him, “I need to be sure that he’s gone.”

Patricia nodded and smiled at Willa, “I’ve made sure of all of that.”

Willa took the pen from Patricia’s hand, “I feel that I should read these. I trust you, I just need to see for myself.”

“Willa I understand, I will stop by Monday or you can drop in my office when you are ready.”

Willa managed a smile, “Thank you, for everything.”

Patricia gathered her things and took Willa in an embrace, “This will all be over soon. I will keep it as non-stressed and as quick as possible.”

Willa walked her to the door and hugged her again, “If there’s any questions, please phone me. Then maybe in the near future I’ll be filing adoption papers for you.”

Willa laughed under her breath, “Perhaps, we shall see.”

*~*~*~*~

With Johanna having to leave to check on things in the office, Willa finally found herself alone with Tom. The emotion, confusion and anxiety of everything that had happened very evident in her eyes. She felt that she had no more tears left in her to cry. He quickly bridged the gap and gathered her in his arms.

"Why does all my good news come wrapped with bad?"

He kissed the top of her head as she deepened the embrace, ”Because you’re a fighter, and there will always be someone to try to blow the wind out your sails. Let’s go upstairs and shower, I’ll call Luke and have him schedule you a doctor’s appointment, and in the mean time you’ll call London police and press your charges.” 

Willa took an overwhelmed sigh, “Make it all go away.”

"I think you’re doing a fantastic job of that yourself, " he smiled, as he lead her up the stairs, "You will win this battle Willa, and albeit the war." 

She huffed, “I’m tired, Tom. Knackered, and granted I am getting what I wanted, it’s really taking it’s toll.”

"I know," he sighed as she found his arms once again, "Soon this will all be behind you. Then you can concentrate on your future, your daughter, your career…"

"Us," she grinned into his chest.

"Yes. Us, " he smiled, running his hands up and down her arms. “Come on, a shower or a bath will relax you some.” 

“Then maybe selfishly take a short nap?”

“Whatever you wish to do.”

She cast him a smile and leaned in for a kiss, “I need to decompress.”

She sauntered to the bathroom and decided on a shower instead of a bath. Even though a soak would do her good, she felt the upwelling of emotions would be best camouflaged by the sound of continuous running water. She pulled her hair up into a top knot and again extensively examined her eye and the bruise on her upper arm. She sighed heavily, as she looked at both injuries in the mirror, “It’s done Willa. It’s over, soon this will all be over,” she muttered under her breath.

The heat, sound and comfort of the water around her finally relaxed her enough to let her emotions out. The tears fell willingly, anger welling, the last nearly ten years of her life a sham. She cried as the water ran down her body, over her bruised face and arm, angry tears because once again she had to find a way to tell Molly that her real father didn’t love her. Another wound to her little girl that had to heal, another scar she had to bear. 

Willa yelled and banged her fists against the stone wall not caring anymore if the noise of the shower shrouded her. This wasn’t how her life was supposed to play out. Anger that she allowed it, anger that she was weak and let it go so long, anger that she brought a child into it, anger that now Tom was involved. Anger that Victor Hendricks spiked her drink, and had intentions to rape her. Pure anger. 

Tom slipped quietly into the shower behind her. He had heard her yells, her cries and as hard as it was for him, gave her the few minutes alone she needed. He took her in his arms, which he still hoped offer her safety, and she continued her fit. Her fists balled onto his chest as she tried to shake the anger. 

"Let it out, Wills," he said softly

Her cries the night before were fear, and he quickly recognised her anger as they stood in the shower. Both naked and vulnerable, he held her close mindful of the placement of his hands and his sex, only touching her back gently, comforting, as she cried into him.

It wasn’t until he felt her lips on his chest, the soft kisses that awoke a whole other sense, did he dip his hands lower. Her eyes met his, the fire and rage still heavy in her eyes.

"Make me yours again," she cried. 

She didn’t have to ask him twice.

He took her arms and pinned them above her head, as he backed her against the stone wall. His lips met hers with a furious passion and he growled into her mouth. When he released her lips from his, she panted and the fire in her eyes only increased. He looked for any sign of fear, and all he saw was anger and an unbridled passion for him. 

"Thomas, please, “ she begged.

The water warm against his back, he pressed himself flush against her, he ground his hips and his stiffening cock against her. She wrapped her legs around his waist, writhing to adjust to his height. Heart racing, his lips found the curve of her neck and with one single thrust he buried himself deep inside her as he bit the flesh between her shoulder and neck. 

Willa released a moan that was both pleasure and pain as he continued to thrust wildly into her, his tongue cooling his heated love bites along her neck and shoulder. Her fingernails sank into his broad shoulders, clinging to anything as he reclaimed her.

"Look at me!" he commanded. Short of breath and overwhelmed by his momentum, she was embarrassed by the bruises on her face and arm, and could not bring her eyes to his, "Willa!" his voice demanded again, fierce, yet passionate.

Tears flowed from her eyes as she hesitantly brought her blue eyes to meet his. He gripped her hands; fingers laced with hers, as she was still pinned against the wall and he kissed her boldly. Her moaning paired with his primal growls filled the shower,”I love you.” he rumbled into her “So fucking much.” 

"Thomas," Willa whimpered as she felt her climax build. "Harder. Fuck me harder. Make me yours." 

The growl that left his throat was nearly inhuman as he pumped frantically into her, “Fuck Wills. Look at me when you come!”

She cried out in climax, clawing at his skin as her euphoria washed over her, her eyes never leaving his stare as he demanded. His orgasm right behind hers, just as forceful and just as loud. 

Panting, he slowly and gently put her legs back on the shower floor, holding her as her as she shook from the most primal sex. He kissed her gently in the heavily steamed room, her tears still streaming down her cheeks. His eyes cast concern, as his thumb caught a tear that fell and cast over the bite marks on her neck.

"Did I hurt you? Wills?" 

She shook her head, then kissed his lips gently. Her fingers lightly touched his cheek, tracing down his sharp jawline, which clenched with his building concern. Her eyes softened, the anger lessened and a comforting smile formed on her lips, “After everything, Tom, you’ve made me whole”


	12. Chapter Twelve

The rain-cooled air that wafted through the slightly open terrace door tightened Tom’s hold on Willa as she stirred and shivered from their late morning, post coital nap. She nuzzled into him, feeling content and safe.

His. 

She stretched and murmured into him, a barely audible complaint that they had things to do other than each other, and lazily opened her eyes. She found him wide awake, already bestowing the look that always made her weak and feel loved at the same time. She flashed a smile then pulled the sheet over her face as she stretched and groaned louder. 

"Can’t we just stop time and enjoy each other?" she said, her fingers roaming his chest, playing with the scant hair. “I much prefer this than what I need to do.”

He chuckled in complete agreement with her,”If we’re lucky, we’ll have a lifetime of this. Unfortunately there’s some unfinished business to carry out.” 

"Bollocks," she sighed, then kissed his chest.

He kissed the top of her head and squeezed her gently as he laughed, “Come now, we can continue what we started later. We have appointments to keep.”

She whined again and cursed under her breath as she wriggled herself from her comfort zone. Her body ached. It was somewhere between the deliciousness of Tom’s roughness in the shower and sheer pain, where her arm was red and purple and her left eye and cheek matched. 

Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, she heaved a sigh, anger still mildly evident in her mood as her mind listed what had to happen today. 

"What time’s my appointment?" she asked, head down. Even thinking about her damaged face subdued her, and the feeling that she just wanted to cower flooded through her. 

“1:30,” he replied, catching on to her body language and quickly responding by sitting up and moving next to her.

Another sigh and her foot played with his as she took comfort with him by her side, “I guess I should see the doctor first.” 

"You can.” His arm wrapped around her and he pulled her close to him, trying to show her his unity with her, "However you chose to do it."

"Then file the formal charges on the way home. Maybe if luck was on my side they would catch him before he left, although I think he’s already taken off.” Her rambling was outward thoughts, trying to make herself feel better and make sense of what had happened. “And I need to make an appointment with my therapist. My thoughts are so cluttered right now. Tom, it’s not fair to you.”

“Wills, regardless of what you call fairness, I am here for you. I love you, everything about you, and you’ll get through this. We’ll get through this. Together, as a family.”

His last four words rang loud in her ears, and a smile edged on her lips, and she cocked an eyebrow at him. She playfully pinched him, and he yelped as he laughed.

“Sorry, “ she said stifling her own chuckle. “Sometimes I need to make sure you’re real.”

He watched as she strode naked to her dresser, pulled out and slipped into her knickers then latched her bra with ease. Then his eyes followed her as she moved to her closet she selected a long sleeved sweater that would cover the bruise on her arm and slipped it over her head. He watched as she stood in the mirror and stared at herself, then glanced at the dress she wanted to wear to the opening night of his play. Strapless, black and form fitting, her fingers glided along the fabric then formed a fist, her mind racing with the anger again, and it took every ounce of energy she had to subdue it. Tom’s gentle touch as he came up behind her helped relax her for the moment.

Until he was completely gone, Jack would find a way to ruin Willa’s life.

*~*~*~*

The sound from the school play yard, laughter and high pitched voices, should have brought a smile to his face. He sat from the coffee shop across the street watching them as they played tag, four-square and other games he too remembered. He studied their faces, which was a bit difficult due to the hats and coats they wore on the damp autumn day. The rain had stopped for the moment and he was grateful for that. Now his spur of the moment plan would spring into action. 

He sipped coffee from his paper cup and he spotted her. Long brown hair in pigtails, dressed in a skirt and tights. Pink and purple. It was always pink and purple. Not only was she a girl, she was a girly girl at that. At that thought, he crossed the street, keeping a keen eye on her, and hoped in some way she remembered him, that her mother hadn’t eradicated all memory of him with her new life. 

“Fuck her,” he thought. “Fuck Hiddleston. Fuck them both for ruining my life.”

He couldn’t quite place when it all started, his domination of Willa. She was an easy target, so submissive and scared, always the good girl. He snickered at the thought of her cowering. He saw it yesterday, and it pissed him off he didn’t get to fuck her after he beat her. That’s when it was best, right after, when she was putty and complaint and willing to do anything he wanted, just to keep him happy. Hiddleston got that privilege, that pompous prick. He shuddered at the thought of Tom being with her, then a smirk stretched across his face. He would get the last laugh. 

He reached the sidewalk, and walked closer to the schoolyard. She was close to the fence, and he had to move quick. “Molly!” he called. 

The little girl stopped in her tracks when she heard her name called, and searched for the source.

“Molly, baby!” The coddling irked him a bit, yet when the child locked eyes on him and her face lit up, he had to quell the flutter he felt in his heart. She wasn’t a boy, the boy he so desperately wanted, and that would always force his adamant dislike of this child. It also pissed him off that she was a carbon copy of her mother. It made it hard for him to like her, yet when her blue eyes looked on him, he would admit that he would melt. Why couldn’t she have been a boy? He wanted to like the girl, his own flesh and blood, and he couldn’t. Yet, another thing that Willa was perfect to blame for.

She ran to the fence, “Daddy!!” she giggled, and he smiled. A fake smile nonetheless, he had to gain her trust. 

“Hi sweetheart,” he said, his stomach churning as she met him at the fence. “It’s so good to see you!” 

“Hi, Daddy!” she said out of breath from the game she was playing, her smile big and excited to see him. “You’re here to see me?”

“Oh yes, sweetheart,” he lied, he had to gain her trust and fast. “I’ve talked to your teacher and we’re going to spend the day together.”

Her eyes grew big and she clapped her hands together, “Now? We can go now?”

His eyes scanned the school yard and the surrounding area for watching eyes. Her teachers backs were turned as they talked in a corner, out of the brisk wind that blew, and he was at the fence where it gated so her slipping though would be no problem. “Yes! Let’s go! Mommy will come by and get your things.”

Molly slipped through the fence and he took her hand. He walked quickly yet not fast to cause concern and when he felt she was lagging he picked her up. This was all too easy, and London was huge. “Where are we going daddy?” she said as she snuggled up to him against the wind.

He smiled at her, so trusting. Willa never spoke bad about him in her presence, he could tell. He felt the bile rise as he thought of Willa again, and smirked. He had her life in his hands. “Oh I figured we’d get some lunch or tea, then we’d play for a bit before I’d take you back to mum.”

The girl snuggled to him again, and he knew that wasn’t the plan at all. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

The empty desk was apparent after the recess break. The backpack still hung on its hook, her pencil and reader still on the desktop where the girl had left it.

“Where’s Molly?” Ms. Lewis asked.

The teacher had been informed of the assault on Willa, and that her assailant, Molly’s father, may still be in the area and that there may be some retaliation with the child. Her heart was in her throat, “Has anyone seen Molly?”

“She left with her daddy,” a little boy’s voice spoke up. “She left through the fence.”

Ms. Lewis paled. This was on her watch. She quickly picked up her classroom phone and called the administrator’s office. When the secretary picked up, Ms. Lewis choked out that Molly Morgan was missing.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tom and Luke waited patiently in the waiting room of the local practitioner. Willa was having her injury and eyesight examined, again, under Tom’s insistence. Tom confessed to Luke that he was worried that the public may assume Willa’s injuries came from his hand. Luke assured him not to worry, that a statement was already in works, and the most important thing that they both could do, along with the people closest to her, was support Willa through this. 

“She’s carrying a lot mate,” Luke said. “But she is one strong bird.”

Tom chuckled at his publicists words, “She’s remarkable, and I love her. More than anything I’ve ever felt for anyone.”

“Question is, can you handle her? The lot that she’s carrying. Are you strong enough for this?”

Tom sighed, thinking back to the previous day and his cowardice. Her confessions to him last night after he knew in his heart that he was strong enough for this, to carry her when she needed him too. “Honestly Luke, I think I am the only one strong enough for her.” 

Willa walked out from behind the heavy doors, the practitioner following her, “The lady’s eye is perfectly fine, her eyesight is undamaged and that cut should heal with minimal scarring,” he said as he updated the pair of gentleman. “Willa, it was an honour. If you should need anything else don’t hesitate to call.” 

Tom stood up and took her in his arms. “Happy now?” she laughed as she snuggled into his chest.

“Yes, very.” His assurance was heartfelt as he tightened his arms around her. 

Luke’s phone buzzed and he excused himself to take the call, stepping away from the pair as Willa checked out and collected their belongings. He returned a moment later his face pale, and his eyes carried worry. Willa furrowed her brow at the sudden change.

“We need to go,” Lukes voice was stern, and hid any emotion that was welling. “They need you down at the Regent’s Park precinct, Willa.”

“Right, we’re going there now. To file charges.” Her voice was matter of fact as she tried to read the publicist’s change of mood. He inhaled sharply, and Willa saw his mind working, which was an understatement. “Luke, what’s going on?” 

Tell her now, or wait until the safety of the car? The question was loud and furious in his mind Tom wrapped his arm protectively around Willa and gave his friend a quizzical look. “Luke.”

His phone buzzed again, and he looked at the incoming message, and excused himself to the receptionist. He asked her a quick question and she nodded her answer and Willa saw her glance up at both her and Tom. The door buzzed and Luke motioned both Willa and Tom back. The receptionist lead them back into a vacant office. “If you need anything, please let me know,” she said as she closed the door.

“Luke, what the fuck is going on?” Willa’s heart raced and her thoughts spun out of control “Tell me, tell me now!”

He leaned against the examination table and crossed his arms. He cleared his throat as he felt the emotion well. “Willa there’s no easy way to say this. Molly never came in from a recess at school. One of the children said she left through the fence with a man she called Daddy. The constables are already setting up a search and the airport and trains have been alerted.”

Willa felt every nerve of her body twist and pull and felt her gut clench as she was punched. She shook, then lurched as Tom pointed her towards the basin. He looked back at Luke, knowing that his decision to tell her weighed heavily on him as he held her hair back and tried to contain his own emotion. Tom knew his friend had little choice, and this was the best option knowing Willa’s state.

The wail that Willa emitted was pure heartache as she slid down the cabinet to the floor. “He’s got my Molly!”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The restaurant Jack picked was quiet and far enough off the main roads to not worry him. He almost liked that he was able to have a conversation with the girl and she offered information freely. She talked about Tom and about how he did movies and that he told brilliant bedtime stories. She told him about the new house and how Johanna lived with them. He listened intently as the little girl talked nearly incessantly. He knew that Willa most likely knew that Molly was missing at this time. It had been almost two hours. He had to move fast. He paid the bill and gathered the girl and they walked. He watched as she looked around, he was far enough that the area was fairly unfamiliar. 

Running toward to playground equipment, Molly took to the swings, “Push me daddy!” she laughed and he happily obliged. When she giggled “Higher!” he laughed with her and gave her a mighty shove.

He had her trust. Perfect. 

He sat on the park bench, as she played, she would call periodically and he would wave, or give her the coddling she was after. The wind picked up and the grey and black clouds raced across the sky as the autumn storm once again began to swill. Molly was preoccupied and lucky for him, there weren’t any other parents or children at the playground. He thanked the inclement weather and school being in session for that. 

Keeping a keen eye on her as she climbed and jumped, he slowly backed away and out of the playground. When he hit the sidewalk he ran to the main street and hailed a cab. He climbed in, told the driver, “Heathrow,” before they sped away. 

Molly climbed out of the structure she was playing on. She was Rapunzel and she was trapped in her tower. She stood on her tip-toes to call out to her father. Her eyes scanned the park, and the benches that surrounded the playground and they were empty. Her heart raced as she circled again, the rain beginning to spit cold against her cheek. 

“Daddy?” she called quietly, “Daddy?!” 

The park was empty and the wind howled around her and through her wool coat. She ducked down into the parapet and slipped through to the ground, and she ran the boundary of the park. The street was quiet, and panic and fear set deep into the little girl.

“Mommy?”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Willa said nothing during the ride to the precinct. Pressed against Tom in the backseat, her mind raced. She barely blinked, and her breathing was so shallow that she was sure that Tom squeezed her to make sure she was. Her eyes were empty and full of fear as she leaned into his chest. The quickened “thump thump” of his heart gave her something to concentrate on other than where Jack had taken Molly. That very thought turned her stomach again and she heaved. If she hadn’t already emptied its contents earlier Tom may have moved quicker, yet he offered her a sick bag and what she considered a sigh of pity to her. 

Immediately as they pulled up to the precinct they were lead back into an office, offered tea or coffee, lunch, anything that would make them comfortable. The lead detective introduced himself as Ian McKenzie. He closed the door and re-examined and re-questioned the prior day’s events, along with the new development of his revocation of Jack’s rights. Willa’s own voice frightened her as she retold the event. It sounded scared and weak, sapped of its strength. She shook when the reality hit. 

“Ms. Morgan,” Detective McKenzie began. “I need to ask for some pictures of Molly, some descriptions of birthmarks, anything we can use to bring her back to ye quickly.”

Hands shaking, Willa handed him her phone, “There’s several on here, all recent. I can upload them if you want. She has a birthmark on her left outside thigh,” Willa drew the shape of the odd crescent shaped mark and continued. “And a beauty mark above her right eye.”

“Thank you, Willa,” he said, his voice kind and caring as he stood to leave the office, and she looked away defeated. “We will bring her home.”

She did her best to force a smile, and her hands still shook. Her whole body trembled as her thoughts raced to what he could be doing or had already done to Molly. She remembered back during breakfast that morning when she had the gut feeling to keep her home, even more so when Alastair showed up.

“I should have kept her home, Tom. I should have kept her home. She’d be here and safe and I’d be hearing her voice and her laugh and I may never hear it again. This is my fault, he could be hurting her.”

Tom lowered to his knees in front of her, taking her hands in his. They were cold, and he knew she was in a state of shock. He also knew he wasn’t going to be idle. Squeezing her hands in his, he then cupped her cheek as tears finally fell from her eyes. “Willa this is not on you. This is Jack. Molly will be coming home.” He kissed her lips hard, anger mixed with love, “I swear to you.”

*~*~*~*~*~*~

Jack skulked around Heathrow. He had some time to kill before his flight boarded. The purchase of his tickets went simple, and the process of going through security with his fake identification and passport went even simpler. He found a bar and sat, keeping an eye on the local news as he ordered an ale. If Hiddleston was involved he was sure that the media would be all over it, which he hoped would cause Willa more strife, and another ended relationship. 

He wanted her alone and to suffer. 

He drummed his fingers, thoughts running back to university. He smirked at the thought of Willa. Young and tight. She was a virgin, and she was fond of that. They had been dating for about a month, and she kept thwarting his advances. She allowed the kissing, and the touching, and she laughed when he told her he wanted to be inside her. 

She laughed.

It had already been an intense make-out session. She had allowed him to touch her, his fingers slipping into the sweet wet spot. He wanted more. He wanted to taste her, to fuck her, to make her scream. 

She laughed and said no. 

He sat back and remembered fondly, of throwing and pinning her back on the couch, pulling her jeans about her ankles and thrusting himself into her. She screamed. And she cried. And he came hard.

He remembered apologizing, that she got him all worked up and he couldn’t control it. That he loved her, and all the other wonderful things she wanted to hear. That he didn’t mean to hurt her. In reality, he couldn’t wait to do it again. 

Never tell Jack Morgan “No.”

He fiddled with his cell phone as he watched the weather update on the telly. Winds were gusting at 50 mph and the rain looked relentless, and a pang of guilt swept through him. Knowing he couldn’t use his cell, he found a landline, knowing he had to act quick before he had another change of heart. 

He dialed the 999 emergency number and it was picked up nearly immediately. He had to be quick before is was traced, “What’s the emergency?”

“The Morgan girl. She’s in a park. Not Regent’s, but close to her home.”

He hung up and walked back to the bar, and ordered another ale.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The rain began to fall harder and Molly found herself back up in the turret of the playground. It was drier there, and offered some protection from the brutal cold wind. She drew her knees to her chest and tried to hold back the tears. Where did he go? Should she leave? Would Mommy or Tom find her there? Did they know where she was? What if she left and Daddy came back looking for her and got mad? She didn’t want to make him mad.

Rain began to puddle in her plastic shelter, and she scooted away from it. The wind howled and thunder rumbled in the distance. Fear began to take over as the sky darkened and the girl began to shiver.

“Mommy!” she cried. “Tom!” Molly knew, even in her young mind, that it was a feeble attempt. 

Trapped in the playground, cowering from the pouring rain, she put her cheek to her knee and the tears fell.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Willa sat in what should have been the comfort of her family. Her mother and father, Johanna and even Tom’s sister, Emma, had joined them at the precinct. She stared out the window as the rain crashed against the pane, feeling helpless. She had to go out there and look. Somewhere, anywhere.

The increased chatter about the lead, possibly from Jack, gave her a false sense of hope, but it was hope she didn’t have hours ago. Time was pressing, it was going on five hours, and the weather was not on their side. The detective wanted to wait before going public. This lead was crucial, and he felt that could bring her home quickly with only police involvement. They knew Jack would try to escape England, so they wanted to focus on all the airports, but also all the parks close to Regent’s Park. Willa wanted to search on foot. She paced as the thunder rumbled and the wind howled, wringing her hands. Nausea welling in her throat, her heart breaking as each second ticked on the clock. 

Frustrated, she grabbed her coat. Tom, who was chatting with Luke and Det. McKenzie caught up with her as she broke for the door. It was beginning to become too much, a breakdown was beginning. She cursed her choices she made in life, and in the same thought her heart ached for the one choice she knew was right.

“I can’t sit here, I cannot! Molly is out there and she’s scared and she’s probably soaked and cold and needing me,” she sobbed. 

Johanna joined her friend and took Willa’s hand, “Tom, being idle is killing her,“ she spoke the truth for her friend as Willa’s arms crossed her body even tighter, the look of defeat ever present on her face. “We know phone calls are being made and bobbies are looking….but it’s Molly. Before this goes public, and search parties are set up, we need to see if we can bring her back. Someone she trusts. I’m sure Muffin is reeling and her heart broken along with all this other added bullshit with the weather. I want one of us to find her, but Willa you’re in no shape to search.”

Tom swallowed and nodded in acknowledgment, “It’s killing me too. Willa, stay here. When Molly comes through those doors she will need you. Luke and I will set out on foot.”

“I’m going too,” Johanna added. “The more eyes the better.”

Willa shivered, “For all we know he could be lying and she could be on a plane.” Her voice waivered and she touched her bruised face, “Or he could be hurting her. Or worse.”

Tom took her in his arms. He was conscious of the fact that she didn’t hold him back, her arms wrapped tight around her middle to hold herself together so he held her tighter. “No,” he said quietly, “I’ll bring her home.” 

The three decided to split up. One west, one north and one east, with rain jackets and cell phones wrapped in bags to keep them dry. The wind was biting and the rain was cold and Tom only hoped he could keep his promise to Willa. 

“Dammit Jack, where did you take her?”

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Soaked, cold and frightened from the noises the wind made in the dark, Molly crouched even tighter in her hiding spot. She had wet herself, from fear and uncontrolled shivering, and the once warm urine had turned cold and it burned against her skin. 

Her fingers were numb as were her toes, and she was beginning to get sleepy. The rain water came into her hiding place in droves as the wind shifted. Tears welled in her eyes and her body wracked with sobs as branches cracked and fell around her. 

Her mind raced. Where did he go? Why did he leave her there? Did he love her? Where was her mommy? 

*~*~*~*~*

Tom shielded himself against the weather as he walked along the outer circle of Regent’s Park. He had already checked the Marlyebone playground, and all it’s hiding spots with no sign of Molly. He pulled out his phone with a listing of all the neighborhood parks in the area. He continued east, the rain blinding him, and soaking his pants and shoes. Anger welled. Anger that Jack did this, that Molly’s innocence was now compromised, that she could be hurt or sick. He jogged through the streets, checking any church playground he saw. 

“Come on, Molly. Let me find you, baby,” he sighed as he peeked into jungle gyms, and feeling his heart break each time they were empty. 

Checking his phone, he sighed when there were no updates. His hands were numb against the wind, and he kept on. The map on his phone showed another park two miles ahead. He shivered as the wind circled around him, telling himself that he would not stop until Molly was safe and back home with Willa, Johanna and him. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Jack flipped his cell phone on the bar as he finished his beer. It buzzed, and it startled him, even though it had rang several times. Willa had been calling countless times which gave him pleasure knowing she was anguished. But it made him want to ditch the phone into the trash. This new number was different. He smirked and decided to answer.

“Father,” he spoke monotone and unfeeling.

“Where is she, Jack? Is she with you?” Alastair’s voice was stern and demanding as always.

“Whom? I don’t know what you’re talking about?”

“Cut the bollocks, Jack. Your daughter. Where is Molly?”

“Huh, according to the papers you made me sign last night, I’m just a sperm donor.”

“Jack! Where is the child!”

“She’s not with me! I have no use for the girl.”

“Then what did you do to her? Tell me now Jack!”

Jack laughed, almost maniacally and it thrilled him that he had so much power at this time. Power over Willa, Molly and his father, even the police. He felt himself harden. He fidgeted in his stool relishing the pure arousal he felt with his near ultimate control. “They just need to look harder. Alert the media! Maybe Willa needs to keep a better eye on her? Maybe she’s the shit parent?”

“Where Jack! Where is MOLLY!”

“Close to Regent’s old man,” he laughed, and hung up the phone.

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Tea?” Emma asked, her voice was soft and concerned as she sat next to Willa.

Willa shook her head, and realized that her whole body was still shaking. “No, thank you,” she tried to offer a soft smile, and it wouldn’t develop. 

Emma noticed and she took Willa’s hand in her own. “Is there anything I can get you?” Another shake of her head and Willa again downcast her eyes unable to face anyone. “You need to keep your strength,” Emma spoke just like Tom, concern with every syllable.

“I’m just afraid I’ll be sick. Honestly. Thank you though, “ Willa added trying to plead her case, wrapping her arms around her middle.

Emma, knowing she had to try to keep Willa’s mind busy, smiled as she squeezed Willa’s hand. “He loves her you know; Molly. I’ve never seen him so in love with someone other than his partner. When he talks about her, his face lights up. Even more so than when he talks about you.”

Willa laughed softly and Emma immediately felt that she was helping ease Willa’s mind, “You have both made him so incredibly happy. My brother may wear his heart on his sleeve most times yet with both you and Molly, it’s different. His smile is constant. He loves you, Willa. I know in my heart he will do anything to bring Molly home.”

She let Emma embrace her, even though every nerve of her body was on edge. “You’ve a brave heart and a loving soul, Willa. Your strength is enormous. And you love my brother, that is a definition of strength in itself. He’ll bring her home, Willa.”

It was then that Willa finally let go. Full sobs rocked her body again for the countless time in the past two days, “I didn’t want to bring him into this!”

Emma wrapped her arms around her, and held her tight. The Hiddlestons were great at hugs, and at that moment, Willa was grateful for them. “Willa, love never has a say in what we exactly want. His heart is blind to this. His focus is you and Molly.”

“His career, this is not going to help him at all.”

“Willa, Tom doesn’t see it that way,” Emma added as Willa sighed, trying to bring her sobs under control. Esther came over to the two women and handed both a cup of tea, and kissed her daughter’s forehead.

“He sees his family,” Emma continued. “And to him, that’s all that matters.”

Esther informed the two of Alastair’s call, and what little information he was able to get out of Jack, but it was consistent and he claimed he did not have Molly with him. That bit of information did nothing for Willa. New fears and thoughts of her daughter being sold into slavery, and the continued thought that she was lost somewhere wet, cold, hungry and scared in a strange place in London.

*~*~*~*~*~*~

The final call to board the plane bound to Hong Kong sounded over the loudspeaker. Jack finished his ale, and smiled. His plan worked. Molly was still missing, he caused Willa more grief and pain, and his escape from London was imminent. He threw back the remainder of his ale, tossed a couple of pound notes on the bar, and congratulated himself on a near successful thrust of turmoil upon his ex-wife. He was angered that it wasn’t all over the media, yet knowing he caused Willa pain, and possibly damaged Molly in some way, made up for that.

He showed his boarding pass to the attendant who paused a moment, and looked at her computer terminal. His heart raced, and he felt his palms begin to sweat as the first wave of fear coursed through him. Did she recognize him? Was there an image released? 

The moments hesitation was then rewarded with a smile, “Enjoy your flight Mr. Morris.”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Tom’s shoes and feet were soaked.

The umbrella he once carried was destroyed by the wind, and the jacket luckily repelled some, if not most of the water that poured around him. He couldn’t give up. He wouldn’t give up. He walked down Roberts Street, Regent’s Park behind him. He looked between cars, and behind stoops; anywhere she could shield herself from the storm. He continued on, up Hampstead and then on to Cardington Streets. He saw the park in the distance, and like the other playgrounds he had already encountered his heart raced with hope. 

“Molly!?” he called as he got closer, still leaving no hiding spot unchecked.

Hours, too many hours, had passed. Too many hours in the storm and too many hours with Jack. “Please be here, “ he uttered to himself as he entered the park. “Please God, let her be here.”

He saw the jungle gym, which had tunnels and spires, perfect hiding spots. The swings were erratic in the wind and branches from the tall oaks lay littered around the contraptions.

“Molly!?” he called again as he entered the park, prayer heavy in his mind as he began to search. “Answer me, sweet pea!”

Molly shrugged out of her cold induced slumber, thinking it was a dream that called her name. She shivered as a gust of wind tunneled its way too her, and strained her ears to listen. Knees still tight to her chest, trying to maintain any warmth. She could hear what she thought was footsteps along with the wind.

“Molly! Sweet pea are you here?” It wasn’t a dream. She knew that voice. “MOLLY!” and for some reason she couldn’t summon hers. Tears flooded her eyes as her voice refused to function.

Tom began looking in the tunnels, checking with a flashlight as they were in complete darkness. “Molly!”

Finally, as adrenaline coursed through her veins, she managed a squeak, “Here!”

Tom’s heart immediately went to his throat, as he ran to the opposite side of the play yard. He peered into the tunnel trying to keep the flashlight far from her eyes as much as possible as he wasn’t sure where she was in the contraption. The smell of urine both burned his nose and broke his heart as he finally saw her. She was already mid scramble to him, slipping along the wet plastic. 

“Come here, baby. Come here, sweet pea,” he sighed as he reached in and grabbed her when she was close enough and immediately brought the girl close to him. Soaked through her coat, and no mittens, he saw her fingers were blue as were her lips and her cheeks translucent. 

“I had an accident,” she croaked out. “I’m sorry.” 

He held her tighter, and he felt her snuggle close to him, “No, no, sweet pea. It’s okay. It’s okay. I’m going to call us a ride, and get you back to your mum alright? I’ve got you, baby.”

She nodded as Tom pulled out his phone one handed, his arms still tight around Molly.

“Detective McKenzie, I have her. We’re at Saint James Gardens. She’s soaked and very cold, but she’s safe.” He clicked the phone off and tucked it into the inside of his jacket, then shrugged it off. The inside of his jacket was dry and warm with his body heat, “Here you go, sweet pea, put your arms in, it’s nice and warm.”

Molly cuddled tight against his chest, he kissed her forehead and let it linger, trying his hardest to keep his emotion at bay.

“Is Mummy mad?” she asked.

“No, Molly. She’s not mad at all,” he sighed as she shivered against him. 

He sought out the best shelter he could as they waited for help to arrive. He could hear her teeth chattering, and he wished he could make her warmer. ”Why Molly? he thought, Dammit Jack, she’s just a kid.”

Molly’s quiet sobs pained him and he couldn’t imagine what was spinning in her head, so he did the only thing he could think of, something he did when he needed to relax, he sang:

She’s got a smile that it seems to me

Reminds me of childhood memories

Where everything

Was as fresh as the bright blue sky

Now and then when I see her face

She takes me away to that special place

And if I stared too long

I’d probably break down and cry

Sweet child o’ mine

Sweet love of mine

She’s got eyes of the bluest skies

As if they thought of rain

I’d hate to look into those eyes

And see an ounce of pain

Her hair reminds me of a warm safe place

Where as a child I’d hide

And pray for the thunder and the rain

To quietly pass me by

Interrupted by the sounds of sirens, he laughed at himself and his choice of song, but Molly relaxed in his arms as he danced with her and sang. Her sobs and sniffles waning as the police and rescue arrived. She relaxed, yet her hold on him was as tight as she could make it. When the EMTs tried to take her from Tom’s arms, she tensed again as she shook her head. 

“Sorry gents,” Tom said as he hopped up into the truck with Molly. “She’s quite attached, and I’m not about to let her go.”

The technician nodded and smiled at the pair, “That’s alright, lass, I’ll just work around ye both. You hold onto him as tight as ye need.”

~*~*~*~*~*

The mood at the precinct changed in almost an instant, and officers began to move around like something that happened. Willa looked up, her heart in her throat as Detective McKenzie walked toward her. He knelt down, so he could be at eye level with her.

“She’s safe, Tom has Molly.”

Willa let out a cry that was relief, joy and hope all tied together. Flanked by her mother and Emma, her emotion immediately overwhelmed her. “Can I go? I need to go. I need to be there.”

The detective was one thought ahead of her and handed her a jacket, “The car is waiting. Let’s go get your daughter.”

The drive was quick, yet eternal. Willa tried to focus on her breathing and her emotion as they turned down Cardington Road. Her heart raced as she saw the flashing lights of the emergency vehicles, and heard the chatter that came over on the police radio, only picking out certain words “Molly,” “Tom,” “Hiddleston.” 

She wanted to leap out of the car, and Emma’s strong yet gentle hand kept her seated, “We’re almost there, love.”

The ambulance door was closed, to keep the wind out and its occupants warm. Detective Mckenzie stopped the car as close as he could to the vehicle that contained the people she loved most. The detective opened the door for Willa and he immediately took her to the truck. After a few loud bangs and an added, “Mum’s here!” the technician opened the door and offered Willa a hand. 

Tom and Molly were both wrapped in thick shock blankets to regather their warmth, the pile of Molly’s wet clothes lay on the trucks floor. She was cuddled close to him, wrapped as tight in the blanket as he could possibly make it. Willa could see her little hands clinging to him desperately. Tom smiled brightly as Willa sat next to him, “She’s kind of drowsy,” he said softly, “Molly. Mum’s here.”

The little girl raised her head, and gasped, and immediately threw herself into Willa’s awaiting arms. “Mummy!” she croaked barely audible, her voice hoarse from the weather and emotion. 

Willa said no words, just cradled her daughter as close as she could. Tom wrapped the blanket tightly around Molly, then kissed Willa’s forehead. Willa reached out and pulled him into the embrace.

“Thank you,” she sobbed. “I love you.”

Tom, containing his emotion for Molly’s sake, not wanting to scare her or give her any concerns, felt the tears fall down his cheek as he held his girls close to him. “I made you a promise, I intended to keep. I love you too, both so much.”

The EMT nudged Emma, who was also in tears, to let her know that they needed to take Molly to the hospital for a physical, since she was hypothermic. Emma nudged Tom and informed them that they were getting ready for a ride. “I’ve let your mum know, Willa. She’s getting everyone some dry clothes and will meet us up there.”

Willa nodded, and smiled at the other Hiddleston as the vehicle gently lurched forward. 

“Thank you Emma, for everything today.”

Emma smiled, and looked at the three adoringly, “You’re family, Willa. It’s what we do for each other.” 

Willa closed her eyes and eradicated her mind of any thoughts of Jack and where he may be, and focused on the embrace of the two people whom she loved most. For the first time in these hectic days she didn’t wonder why Tom was there or why he came back to her after Jack’s assault on her yesterday. It was his embrace, his arms long enough to hold her and Molly, that was warm, comforting and safe. It was literally the glue that was holding her together. She moved closer to him, as close as she could on the crowded gurney. He kissed her head, as he laced his fingers with the hand he was holding. 

“I love you,” he whispered to her, the sentiment for only her (and Molly’s) ears. A reassurance, because he knew she needed to hear it. They both did.

Willa stretched and kissed his lips softly, sharing a smile that reached her eyes. “Tom, this is more than love,” she said softly as Molly adjusted between them. “This was meant to be.”


	13. Chapter Thirteen - Molly

The few hours that were spent in the emergency room with doctors and police in and out of the small room where Molly was examined and observed were all blurred together. Molly with dry clothes, blankets, and a few cups of hot cocoa was physically on the mend. She remained quiet and reserved, cautious and wide eyed, and understandably a bit clingy. Her body temperature steadily rose, and with a only a few scratches and a rash Molly would physically recover. She whimpered and panicked whenever Willa or Tom were out of eye-shot, and she didn’t want to speak to Detective McKenzie in which he was very understanding.

Molly was finally released, and Willa continually expressed her gratitude to Luke and Johanna for all their help in the search for her daughter and to her parents and to Emma for being by her side. She was also grateful to the constables, who listened to her story, knew that this was a revenge tactic and also braved the horrible weather to look for Molly. Luke already busy with any publicity this would incur, excused himself early to write up a statement on the family’s behalf. He promised to have it to Tom and Willa by the morning.

With a promise from Emma that she and her mom would call before visiting the next day, she embraced the youngest Hiddleston, who was just as exhausted as Willa was. “Mom keeps texting me that she wishes she was here, to support you and Tom. I want you to know that. I know that in that corner of your mind you’re thinking, “By George, what does this woman think of me dragging her son into this”, but she’s not thinking that at all. She thinks you’re one bloody hell of a woman that has more courage and moxie than even she could even muster. “

Willa laughed, appreciative of the kind words from the Hiddleston matriarch, and the forward thinking of Emma, “One less thing to keep me awake tonight,” Willa smiled, “We’ll look forward to your visit, love.”

Johanna, along with Willa’s mom and dad stayed with the three until their car picked them up. Molly cuddled up to her aunt, still quiet and clingy.

“Thank you Jo, for once again dropping everything to be with me today.” Willa sighed, grateful to her lifelong friend.

“Remember, she’s kind of mine too,” Johanna smiled as Molly cuddled up to her, “my niece, and my light. I’m so glad my Muffin’s okay. And you’re my family, you, Molly, mum and dad; Tom. It’s what we do… you know.”

Willa returned the smile to her best friend, “Are you coming back to the house?”

“Actually, I’m going home with mum and dad,” Jo replied glancing at Willa’s parents, “You three need to do some healing so I’ll hang with them a couple days. Mum’s excited, late nights playing cribbage. I’m down for that.”

Willa laughed, “Thank you Jo, and make sure you take all dad’s money as usual.”

Jo chuckled, “I plan too. You three though, if you need me for anything, let me know, I’m just glad this is all behind us now.”

“I hope you’re right, Jo. I really do.”

A short car ride with a stop for take away Willa, Tom, and Molly found themselves back in the warm comfort of home. As Willa expected, Molly barely picked at her late dinner, her favorite fish and chips, and Willa didn’t push her. The forlorn look on her daughters face was breaking her into pieces enough. She reached out and caressed her daughter’s cheek, still red from the chafing of her tears and her coat, “How about a warm bath, and some warm pajamas, a movie and some snuggle time?”

The suggestion brought some semblance of a smile to the girls face, “Can you take one with me, momma?”

The fear that still lingered in Molly’s eyes wrenched at Willa, and her need for constant contact still evident even at home, “Of course.”

Tom pulled himself up from the table, and planted a kiss on Molly’s hair, as he tousled it “I’ll start the water. Bubbles, milady?”

Molly nodded and her eyes followed him as he took the stairs and Willa took her hand, “Let’s go pick out our pajamas” 

Water drawn, with bubbles and chamomile oil for Molly’s rash and to help ease her anxiety some, Willa slipped in behind her daughter and hoped the feeling of the warm water was just as relaxing to Molly as it was to her. Tom placed two fluffy towels on the warmer, offered more kisses, and left them to their privacy. 

It seemed to be helping. Molly relaxed against her mother, against the mass of bubbles and her breast and she exhaled. Willa felt some of the tension leave her baby’s shoulders as she gently massaged her.

“Momma?” Molly asked in a squeaky hoarse voice, startling Willa a bit since the girl had barely spoken since she was recovered.

“Yes love, “ Willa answered as she lathered her daughters hair, Molly leaning back into her mothers touch.

“Why did daddy leave me there?”

Willa inhaled deeply, as she had been pondering this question for hours. Not sure to be honest and tell her six-year old how horrible Jack was, or to stretch the truth a bit. She opted for a mix of both, “Well Molly, your father is not a very well man. He’s troubled, and very angry about some things. While, I am not sure why he did this, I want you to know that Tom and I love you very much and will never leave you.”

The little girl sighed and Willa wondered if she was satisfied with her answer, “I’m not sure I like him. That was mean and I was scared.”

“I know sweetie. And I want you to talk to us, alright. It’s okay to be upset. It’s okay to be mad and angry at him, but I need you to tell us how you feel okay?”

Molly nodded and exhaled another sigh, “Tom loves me, right?”

“Oh, very much so. He loves you very much, Molly, “ her daughters need for reassurance on how much she was loved bothered Willa, and she felt even more anger at Jack well within her.

Molly was quiet for a few moments, her fingers playing and stacking soap bubbles on Willa’s knee, when she turned to her mother, eyes showing the candor that was all her, “Can Tom be my new daddy?”

Willa smiled at her daughters innocence, and her heart skipped. She heard Tom moving about in the bedroom and she wondered if he heard her request, and she thought of the promise he made to her just last night, and she hoped that even if things didn’t work out between them, he would always be a major element in Molly’s life. But Willa couldn’t make that promise for him. That conversation, she hoped, would come in time. “Sweetie, I know he will be there for you, and you are allowed to love him with all your heart. I know he would do anything for you, okay?” 

“I love Tom too.” she answered, accepting Willa’s “around the bush” answer. “Momma, can I stay with you and Tom tonight?”

“Of course you can.”

*~*~*~*~

With Willa doing everything within her power to calm and ease her daughters mind, Tom made his way downstairs to clean up the barely eaten supper. 

The lights were low, and the Christmas tree cast a warm glow throughout the living area. They were supposed to decorate that tree tonight, a plan put on hold perhaps only for a day or two. It was his first Christmas with Willa and Molly, one he was going to be home for although he was working, yet he was beginning to feel and see the magic though Molly’s eyes. He closed his own eyes and tugged at the branches as a calming method perhaps, as he tried to banish the image of fear he saw in Molly. It would be something he may never forget, perhaps take it to the grave, that look of fear, mixed with complete gratitude and love as she reached for him. A look that bonded them closer, that look of total trust in her worst moment.

Clearing his throat of the emotion that well, he sized the tree and it’s comforting glow, knowing that tree would be decorated though. Molly was home, and she was safe.

Table cleared and kitchen straightened up, he made his way back up the stairs stopping in Molly’s room. He gathered her pillow, blanket and her doll, knowing that she would want to remain as close to her mother as possible. She was already making that evident with nary a word, in fact neither he nor Willa could be out of eyeshot before Molly got upset.

As he left her room, he paused as he saw the fairy lights above her bed. ”They’re for protection.” He remembered her saying one night as he read her a bedtime story, “from the bad monsters”.

He pulled down the lights, any protection from the “bad monsters” for her would never be a bad thing. He placed her items on the bed he had been sharing with Willa, and began to hang the lights over the bed frame. The warm glow, as he plugged them did give a sense of security. 

He heard Willa and Molly talking as they soaked in the tub, Molly finally beginning to open up a bit. He listened as she questioned what happened, and Willa’s calm answers. He began to hear her small voice ask about him, and if he loved her; “More than I ever thought possible, Sweet Pea” was his thought, as Willa closely read his mind. 

Then he heard it, the question that maybe only the birth of his own child could equal,

"Can Tom be my new daddy?" 

He swallowed hard, the emotion immediate. Her sweet little voice echoed loud in his ears, and his heart pounded. Tears welled in his eyes and a ghost pain rose in his shin as he remembered his first ever encounter with the girl. Thrust into the realm of fatherhood, by chance, by fate, by love, there was no question is his mind.

It was then he realized that Molly was his. His pride and joy. There was nothing that he wouldn’t do for the girl. She had his heart. 

She was his daughter.

He smiled. “I would love that more than anything.” 

*~*~*~*~

Willa wrapped Molly in the warmed towel and then herself, then took the time to dry out Molly’s hair and braid it. It was late, and she knew Molly would fall asleep fast. Dressed in their pajamas they stepped out into the bedroom, where Tom had already started a fire and had decorated Willa’s bed frame with the fairy twinkle lights from Molly’s room. Her duvet, doll and pillow promptly placed in the center, she smiled at him, a true smile that gave Willa some hope that Molly was still “there”.“What movie would you like?” he asked.

She thought for a moment then smiled her answer “The Jungle Book.” as she knew it was one of the favourites they shared. 

“As you wish.” he said finding the DVD and beginning the movie. “As you two get settled, I will go shower.” He kissed Mollys cheek, and let his thumb caress it, seeing a hint of sparkle back in her eyes. He kissed Willa softly on the lips, then made his way to take his shower. 

Willa felt Molly curl against her, as she played with Willa’s fingers. She stroked Molly’s hair as a comfort and it wasn’t long before the girl fell asleep. Willa sat with her and listened to her breathing, long deep breathes and she knew Molly was content for now. She slipped out from the bed and tucked Molly tight and made her way to the plush, oversized reading chair in front of the fire Tom started.

She picked up her phone, and scrolled through the messages and missed calls. Ones that would be returned in the morning. She sighed and dialed one number, to the one person who still needed her thanks.

“Hello, Alastair, I know it’s late but I just wanted to thank you,” She said summoning her courage and putting the words she spoke just that morning behind her, “for your help today.”

“Willa, dear. My apologies still run deep, if I had known…” the elder man trailed, his voice seeping with sorrow

“Alastair, I don’t think either of us knew that he could do this. Your help, it solidified the lead. She’s home and sleeping now.”

“Hearing that she’s safe and content makes me happy. I still wish I had acted sooner, Willa.” 

Willa sighed, hearing the loss of his son in his voice, “No, when you realized his actions, when you saw it, you protected us. I see that now.”

“I should have done more.”

“Alastair we could argue this point for a lifetime. Jack is your son and…”

“Not anymore, “he interrupted, his tone harsh and angered, “He hurt a child, his own, for the sake of revenge. Willa, he’s gone to me.” Willa pursed her lips, and kept her emotions in check as he continued, “The BBC has been informed of his wrongdoing and they have taken actions.”

Willa sighed, having a slight change of heart from the conversation that morning. The elder Morgan had fought for her, even if it was too little too late. “Alastair, Tom and I thank you, for everything today. I’d like to keep you updated, with Molly. She will always be your granddaughter.” 

There was silence on the other end and Willa heard him clear his throat after a moment, “I’d like that. Thank you, Willa. And it may not be my place to say, but if I had to handpick someone to help nurture Molly, it would be Tom.”

Willa felt a smile on her face, “They do have a special bond.” 

"And if there is anything you should need, please, do not hesitate.”

"Thank you, Alastair." 

She placed the phone on the end table and drew her knees up to her chest, her thoughts racing with what had transpired in the past forty-eight hours. She peered over at Molly, curled up on the bed clutching her doll and thumb in her mouth, and felt the emotion well in her heart and throat. He had damaged her baby. He instilled fear into her, robbed her of that wonderful naïve innocence that Willa loved, and she couldn’t protect her. Tears fell silently, and Willa brushed them away with her flannel covered knee. Molly’s heart was broken and her eyes showed fear, something Willa had rarely seen.

She stared at the fire and felt it’s warmth on her toes, the orange-yellow casting it’s frenzied shadows about her. She cried silently, mourning for her daughter. 

"Wills," his voice soft and gentle, and with all the concern one syllable could muster. 

"Sorry," she sniffled, forcing a smile.

He placed a tray with tea and whisky on the table and sat next to her. He knew her mind was racing, that decisions had to be made, that the trauma was catching up to her. “Love, there’s no need to apologise. I can see your mind racing. Talk to me.” He handed her a shot of whisky and smiled, “this will help your nerves.” 

She let out a small chuckle and took the shot, wincing as it went down, feeling it’s immediate warmth in her belly. “My mind, is at full throttle.”

“Come here,” his demand was gentle as he offered her his arms. She leaned into him, wedging herself between the seat and Tom, his arm wrapping around her as she rested her head on his shoulder. “I need you to relax that beautiful mind of yours.”

“I feel that’s impossible. Life changed today, and I have so many decisions…”

“Wills,” he interrupted, “Molly is home, safe and asleep, it’s also Friday night, any decision that needs to be made in her behalf has two days to be thought about. Unless she needs emergency care, we should just love and dote on her and make sure she feels as secure as possible.”

Willa sighed knowing he was right, yet not wanting to admit it, “I want to agree with you.”

Tom kissed her, his fingers deftly playing with the skin on her arm in a comforting manner, “Then talk to me. Don’t hold it in.” A groan from Molly interrupted them, Tom tilted his head back to check on her, “She’s just adjusting, she’s still sound asleep.”

Willa sighed and felt tears sting her eyes, “I’m scared for her, Tom. I’m scared that he’s changed her, that he’s created an untrust within her. I’m afraid I lost my Molly today.”

He sighed and thought for a moment, knowing and feeling her fears as he had them too. He also for the first time felt like a father, feeling that unconditional love that Molly had for him. He once again remembered the feeling of the grip the little girl mustered as cold and wet as she was when he picked her up from the playground tubing, the comfort he gave her, and she wouldn’t let go at no cost. ”Wills, I feel your concerns, and they have crossed my mind too. She’s a very intelligent girl. I heard her talking to you in the bath, she now knows that there’s bad and evil in this world and it’s up to us, those that love her, to help her utilise what happened and make her a stronger person.” 

Willa nodded her answer into him and sighed tears still at the corners of her eyes, “I just want her to feel that she can talk to us.” 

"She does, and tomorrow will be another day. She’ll talk some more. In her defense she’s had one hell of a day. We all have. The next few days will give us some ideas on what we can do for Molly."

"I know," Willa whispered, tucking her toes in between his feet, her hand splayed out on his belly playing with the hem of his tshirt, " so you heard her talking in the bath?"

There was a chuckle deep in his chest, and he kissed Willa’s forehead “Yes, I heard her.” 

His free hand joined hers on his belly and he laced his fingers with hers, a sign of much needed unity as she spoke “I tried to answer her the best I could. That’s not my place, you’ve already done so much for her, for us. I can’t just automatically put that on you because we’re in a relationship.” 

His lips found hers and the kiss was soft and gentle, lingering as he tasted the salt from the tears that fell. The smile in his eyes couldn’t be avoided, “Hmm,” he said with an appreciative tone and searched for the words, bringing her fingers up to his lips and kissing them, the comforting scent of chamomile lingering on her skin, “It’s not my place to suggest, yet I do love that little girl more than I ever thought possible. I selfishly hope that one day an “arrangement" could be made between myself and this beautiful woman in my arms whom I love very much.”

Willa furrowed her brow and her breath hitched, her mind trying to comprehend his words, “Was that a proposal?”

He laughed and kissed her lips, “Promise, proposal…informal as it is. Willa, you and Molly are my breath. I can’t remember my life before you, nor do I want to imagine it without you.”

Willa felt her cheeks flush and turned to him, thumb caressing his cheek she kissed him softly and deeply. The man that showed her she was capable of and worthy of love, had in so many words, asked her to spend the rest of his life him. “Yes.” She whispered with a laugh “informally yes.” 

He laughed and deepened the kiss pulling her closer to him, his hand finding it’s place on the warm skin of her hip. She relished in his touch, her hand and thumb continuing it’s caress of his face, “I am the luckiest man alive,” he murmured. 

She smiled, banishing the thoughts of “why, and how” quickly from her mind and allowed herself to enjoy the intimate moment with the man who loved her. 

Her kisses were chaste and her blue eyes locked on his, “I don’t know how I would have made it through this day without you.”

His hand crept her side and came to rest under her breast, aware of the sleeping child in the room yet fully content with the love of his life snuggled close to him. Their kisses were deep and passionate, the fire that cast its shadow on them paled in comparison.

"I love you Wills"

With her head resting on his chest and the calm rhythm of his heart beneath her ear, content and complacent with the tangle of arms and legs on the oversized chair she snuggled closer to him, the warmth of his body and the fire making her drowsy, “I love you too, Thomas,” she sighed and finally let her eyelids win.

*~*~*~*~*~*

Molly’s scream had them both leaping from the chair. Drunk with slumber, Willa fled to the bed where her daughter, wide-eyed and frightened sat panting as she looked around the room. 

"I’m right here, baby," Willa gathered Molly in her arms "it’s okay, you’re okay." The little girl shuddered against her, the nightmare subsiding as she became aware of her surroundings. "It was just a bad dream."

Molly sobbed into her mother as Tom joined them on the bed. “It was dark and I couldn’t find anyone,” she cried

"We’re here, sweet pea,"he began to rub circles on Molly’s back, which calmed her some, yet the tears fell.

"Why momma? Why?" Molly’s anguish was bubbling, her subconscious getting the best of her. Willa held her close, her kiss lingering on her daughters head. Willa’s eyes caught Tom’s and without words a whole conversation formed, that they were both in for what appeared to be a long night. He also saw the despair in Willa’s eyes, as Molly began to settle.

Shushing her gently, Willa avoided the question holding fast to the answer she gave in the bathtub. After a few moments, Molly relaxed enough to lay back down, drowsy and only slightly feared with Tom and Willa on either side of her and slipped back into sleep. 

It was a few minutes before one of them talked, ensuring Molly’s sleep was for the time peaceful, “Willa, she’s not broken. She’ll come out of this, stronger and wiser.” 

"I know, but he took that innocence away. Her sweet face is so troubled. What will change? Her laugh? Her smile? Her trust?"

Tom’s hand that was still making circles on Molly’s back found it’s way to Willa’s cheek, “As is your sweet face. If we love her, and listen to her and watch how she handles things…she’ll be close to her old self again. The monster has been removed, Wills.”

She gave him a tired smile as she nodded and pulled the duvet around Molly’s shoulders. Jack was gone. She hoped closer to China than London, but he was gone. Not in the room, not in their lives, and not in this moment, “I suppose you’re right. Let’s sleep while we can, and hope the rest of her dreams tonight are nothing but sweet.”


	14. Chapter Fourteen

Regent’s Park - Chapter 14 

They say a good night’s sleep is healing.

They say it cleanses the mind. 

Unless that trigger is pulled, and all that’s been repressed is released through the barrel of the proverbial shotgun. Taking aim at the repressor and leaving them with more gaping wounds than physically seen.

Willa was restless. Barely sleeping she woke countless times to make sure Molly was still asleep next to her, and to guiltily see if Tom hadn’t left them while she did manage to rest. It still rattled in her mind that he would leave, after now getting a taste of how bad it was. She thought it was over, that it would be that simple, a piece of paper granting her that freedom. She choked back nausea as she recalled how much she wanted him back, how much she wanted him to love her, how much she pleaded with him that day. A chill ran down her spine as she looked at the two peaceful faces dreaming beside her. They deserved better. They deserved perfection. 

She slipped out of bed and wrapped herself in a hoodie that Tom had left on the chair and curled herself in it. Her phone on the table next to her was wildly blinking with a message, so she picked it up and saw there was two. 

“I’ve confirmed Jack is on a plane to Hong Kong. I hope this lets you rest easy. I’ll keep you updated,” the text from Alistair read. She breathed in a sigh of relief. Far away, he was far away from them. 

Then the nausea hit, the fear caused gooseflesh and his voice in her ears “You filthy whore. Did he fuck you after I beat you? You always liked when I fucked you after I beat you.”

Jack.

Something came over her, the repressed need to obey and to answer. She shook, trying to shake the need, his voice loud in her mind. Damning her again.

“He did,” she texted back to Jack, answering that horrible question. 

Immediately after she hit send, the haze lifted and regret set in. “What did I just do?” she whispered, hot tears at the corner of her eyes. 

“Next time he can fuck a dead body.”

She dropped the phone into the corner of the chair as the fear enveloped her. Her chest tightened and her shaky arms wrapped themselves around her legs. The anxiety painfully welled, and she quietly tried to breathe it out, aware of her sleeping family in the room with her. Her gasps did not, however, go unnoticed. As she rocked to calm herself, Tom awoke and heard her and the unmistakable panic attack. 

“Wills,” he whispered, as softly and as endearing as he could so not to startle her anymore than she already was. 

She took a heavy intake of air as she tucked her phone underneath her. There was no way she could let Tom see this, this threat, the control Jack still had over her. “I’m fine. Really. It will pass.” 

He sat next to her, in the big reading chair where just a few hours earlier they cuddled and enjoyed the sweet outcome of the prior day, and the company of each other. “Can I hold you?” As much as he wanted to wrap his arms immediately around her, to shelter and comfort her from what may had been spinning in her head, he didn’t want to set off anything that he didn’t know. 

She raised her head, cheeks tear-stained and eyes red. Guilt heavy in her heart and mind, “Please.”

She still trembled, he felt her irregular breaths against him and he pulled her tighter against him, “I’ve got you Wills. He can’t hurt you or Molly. I’ve got you.”

She squeezed her eyes together, trying to shake the text out of her mind and wrap herself in Tom’s words, his scent, his love for her. She felt herself relax against him, her breathing slowed and calmed, and the pain subsided. She felt his lips on her forehead as his hand tangled in her hair, and the loud belittling of Jack’s voice left her mindspace. She now only heard the gentle shushing of Tom’s. “That’s it, my gorgeous girl.” 

Finally able to wrap her arms around him, the last of the anxiety waning as he rocked her, “Thank you,” she whispered into him. “I’m sorry.”

She heard the scoffing noise under his breath, “No need to apologize, love. I’m just glad I could help. Couldn’t sleep, eh?” 

She shook her head against him, enjoying the warmth of his body against hers even though she didn’t deserve it. Jack’s voice, smaller now, was still in her mind. “Can’t stop thinking.”

He tightened his arms around her, “I know. Soon this will all be a distant memory in everyone’s mind.” 

Willa felt her phone buzz beneath her, and she knew that would be far from the truth. 

~*~*~*~

“You fucking whore! You and my father. both. dead.”

The text arrived shortly after the call from Alistair, letting her know that Jack was escorted out of the BBC offices in Hong Kong. He had Jack relieved of his employment for what he had done to Willa and Molly; things that were not only chastised in common sense, but something the BBC wanted no part of. Alistair had his office packed up while he was enroute back to China, and was Jack stopped as he entered the building, and escorted out by security. 

Willa tucked the phone into her pocket, Jack’s voice now taking full range again in her head. She was trying to give all her attention to Luke, who had a donation ready to be made to Scotland Yard and the Police Department for all their assistance, and had a written a statement on Tom and Willa’s behalf in order to keep the media at bay during this private matter. 

“Are you doing alright, Willa? Is there anything you need?” Luke asked, an eye of concern turned toward her.

“No. I’m fine, thank you though. You’ve done plenty, Luke. Molly and I are both grateful.” She felt her phone buzz again, and she swallowed hard.

He slanted his eyes at her as a loud mix of laughter and giggles from Molly and Tom erupted from the living room, “Molly seems alright?”

Willa sighed and forced a smile which she hoped didn’t look like she was concealing. Tom and Molly were deep into a game of “Just Dance.” Molly, while still rather exhausted, was in excellent spirits. There were a few times when she questioned what Jack did, and looked saddened. They would talk to her through her sadness, remind her that she indeed was loved. She would listen and nod, look to Tom for reassurance that he did indeed love her, each time he assured her that that was one thing she would never have to worry about.

“He’s good for her. I’m sure there will be some things we will need to work out, hopefully I’m wrong. The sound of her laughter though, especially today; I cherish it.”

His look of concern at her never changed and she shifted in the chair. “Willa, there’s no need to take this on alone. I can get you people…you look…”

“Luke, I thank you,” she interrupted tersely. “I have an appointment early next week. I’ll be okay.”

He finally forced his own smile at her, “Alright. If you need anything though…”

Clasping her hands over his on the table, she thanked him again, “I will. If Molly or I should.”

The quiet, healing day that Willa wanted turned into anything but that. After Luke’s visit, Willa’s parents dropped in with lunch and to check in on their daughter and granddaughter. Johanna soon followed to collect some clothes and then Detective McKenzie came by to interview Molly. 

Taking a moment to catch her breath, Willa ran to the bathroom where she checked her phone to see the onslaught of texts from Jack.

“Cunt.”

“Slut”

“I want your tight, wet pussy.”

“You are nothing.”

“Fuck me Willa, one more time.”

She sat for a moment, feeling the anxiety well. He wanted her to answer so she did, “Please stop.”

Her hands shook as they grasped the counter in the bathroom, and she tried to swallow the anxiety that welled. 

“Your life is mine” was his reply. 

“Stop.”

“Go tell your boyfriend. I’ll kill him too. You weak filthy cunt.”

The knock on the door startled her, causing her to drop the mobile onto the tile floor. “Willa are you alright?” Tom asked through the closed door. 

The phone buzzed; “I’ll rape you until you scream my name.”

She turned the phone off, afraid that Tom would see. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just a little bit of remaining anxiety.” She splashed some cold water on her face to hide the panic and tears she knew were welling and opened the door. “I didn’t mean to worry you.”

He smiled at her and her eyes, afraid of the guilt they’d show, left his.

“Wills, I love you.” He moved his hand to cup her face and she cowered in a fashion as if he were going to hit her. “Willa,” his tone changed, hearing the heartache in his voice, and she saw the pain in his eyes as his hand opted for her shoulder.

Her mind raced; she’d upset him, she had to fix it. She smiled at him apologetically and moved into his arms, snuggling as they wrapped around her, her hand trickling down to brush against his cock as a sign that he could have her after Molly had gone to bed, “I love you too.”

He swallowed hard, the feeling of her hand upon him did not go unnoticed and neither did the odd behavior. “You know I would never lay a hand on you or hurt you, yes?” he asked matter of factly. 

She nodded and swallowed hard, the guilt heavy in her heart and mind. Now thinking that she offended him, Jack was right. She was a weak filthy cunt. “I know you wouldn’t Tom, I’m sorry,” she sighed, then leaned in and kissed him hard. 

He placed both hands on her shoulders and stopped the kiss; her behavior confusing him, “Willa.”

“He’s pissed at you,” Jack said in her head. “Another thing you’re fucking up, you worthless whore. He’s going to leave you. Use you and spit on you like you deserve.”

“Willa?” he said a little louder and rattled her back to him. “What’s going on, love?” 

She slipped passed him, and waved him off. “Nothing. I’m fine. It’s just been a very traumatic couple of days. I’ll be alright. Right now, I need to start supper.”

She made her way down the stairs before he could say anything, “Wills, relax. I’m going to get take-away.”

She stopped at the foot of the stairs and nodded. “Alright,” she agreed and casted him a smile. “I’m sorry in so flighty. I’m just a bit exhausted.” 

He joined her at the base of the stairs and held her, the feeling that she was indeed hiding something from him, and it pained him that she wasn’t trusting him with it. “I know, love. I know.” 

*~*~*~*~*

Willa’s body was exhausted, her mind was in a constant battle between the healthy Willa that Tom fell in love with, and abused Willa that Jack was toying with. As she readied for bed, she eyed the mobile that sat on the bathroom counter. It had been turned off for a few hours and she was afraid to see the messages that it contained. Taking in a deep breath she turned it on and immediately the texts poured in. 

“Worthless”

“Liar”

“I own you”

“I’m going to come back and finish what I’ve started”

“YOU CUNT! STOP IGNORING ME!”

She scrolled through, not hearing Tom enter the bedroom and his knock on the door jamb made her jump and scream. She played it down as another simple scare, chuckled and flipped her phone over. Her heart raced with panic, and she hoped her acting was as good as his and the fear stayed inward. 

“Johanna?” he asked nodding towards the device in her hand.

“Hmmm, oh, yes,” she stammered swallowing the thick fear that lined her throat. “Just checking up on Molly and I.”

“Didn’t mean to scare you, I’ll make more noise,” he kissed the top of her forehead. He wanted to believe her, but the fear in her eyes was beginning to give her away. Her phone buzzed again and she cleared her throat as the fear rose again. “Come, let’s get some sleep.” 

She gave him a sly smile, and turned the wounded side of her face away from him “That’s it whore, hide what I did,” and her fingers traced the outline of his build through his t-shirt. “We have the bed to ourselves tonight,” she hinted as she cozied up to him.

He grinned as his arms wrapped around her waist pulling her close to him, “Hmmm we do, don’t we?” She wrapped her arms around his neck as he kissed her deeply, “Release some tension.”

He picked her up, wrapping her legs around his waist and carried her over to the bed. Gently putting her down, he crawled to her as she made her way to the bed’s center. She giggled as she pulled his shirt over his head, the only interruption of their heating kissing. Her hands roamed his chest, as his mouth found the curve of her neck and worried the skin there, his tongue hot against her cool skin. 

Arousal immediately pooled at her center, as his hands slipped her nightshirt over her head, exposing her breasts to him.“You always take my breath away,” he murmured against her, taking one taught nipple in his mouth. 

She gasped and arched towards him, the need for him close to insatiable. She wanted Jack’s voice to be quieted, to feel the love Tom had for her, to feel him inside her. One hand still firm on a breast, his lips and tongue trailed a path to the hem of her pajama pants, his tongue dipping into her belly button, she moaned and arched again. As she arched he swiftly took advantage of her raised bottom and pulled the pants down, leaving her fully naked. His mouth hardly leaving her belly, she heard him inhale taking in the scent of her arousal. “You’re so intoxicating, Wills. Your scent alone makes me a mad man.”

Her fingers wrapped in his short hair, as his arms wrapped around her, hands on her belly to keep her movement to a minimum. She knew he was going to feast, and she knew she was going to scream and the look in his eyes as he locked on to hers was passionate and relentless. The little flicks of his tongue against her clit caused her to shudder and buck, and he laughed against her center, then the slow languid movement of his tongue began as he tasted her.

“So ready for me Wills,” he sighed during a pause, taking one hand off her belly, and his fingers stroked her core. “You taste as heavenly as your scent.”

One long fingered slowly entered her, and it was soon followed by a second. She moaned, unable to move as his fingers, lips, teeth and tongue regaled her. She wanted to move and his eyes never left hers. The movement of her upper body and the quivering of her thighs against his face told him she was close. She bit her lip to keep her noise level in check, and he twisted his fingers into a “come hither” movement, and warmer fluid surrounded them as she clenched around his fingers. Willa grabbed the closest pillow, covered her face, and let the orgasm wash over her, calling his name over and over again. 

Her breathing heavy as she settled, her thighs still quivering he gave her one final suck before anointing her lips with her own arousal. He kissed her deep as he scrambled out of the sweatpants that contained him.

“I need you, Tom,” she purred as she felt his steel-like cock against her leg. “Now. I need you now.”

He filled her slowly, watching every movement and taking in every gasp, sigh and groan of pleasure as he did. He glanced down at their connection, so perfectly fitting, so complete. His thrusts slow, feeling her close around him. Willa let out a pleasurable gasp as he slowly moved, her eyes closed, teeth on her bottom lip, her legs wrapped around his waist. 

“You like that, don’t you?” his dirty talk began. “You like it nice and slow, feeling me inside you, don’t you, baby?” He grasped her hands and splayed her arms out as he quickened his pace. 

Willa lolled her head back enjoying the pleasure, and the feeling of Tom on top of her and inside of her. She closed her eyes, letting the euphoria of being with him wash over her. He continued to talk, dirty things, sexy things, of how much he loved and adored her. Words that would always arouse her and fulfill her as much as the sex did. The switch was instantaneous, the voice whispering in her ear was no longer her lover’s. It was sinister, and threatening, and it was Jack. Her chest tightened and her eyes flung open.

“Stop! Get off!” she screamed pushing at his chest with all her might.

Tom didn’t even think to hesitate to her demand. Eyes wide as he watched her scurry from underneath him to the bathroom, slamming the door. She grabbed a bathrobe from off the door, wrapped herself in it and slid down to the floor as the attack welled in her chest. 

He gave her the moment, himself trying to place what happened, what he did or said. Tom painfully stepped into his sweats and made his way to bathroom. Knocking softly on the door he heard her sobs and they stung his heart.

“Willa darling, it’s okay,” he said softly as he heard her sniffle.

Embarrassment was now joining the fear and she sobbed. “I would have kept fucking you,” Jack’s voice in her head told her. “It was always better with a struggle.”

“I love you,” she heard Tom remind her and she answered with another sob, the truth behind his words were evident. “I’ll stay right here, and you can open the door when you’re ready.” 

As much as he wanted to demand her to open the door, to make sure she was okay, to hold her and love her, he had a distinctive feeling that things were affecting her more than she was letting on. He sat there listening to her cry, feeling helpless as he waited for her cue. Time felt eternal and she finally cracked the door open. Still sitting, he peered in and found her leaned against the counter, face buried in her knees. Crawling next to her, he gently touched her to let her know he was beside her. In a matter of seconds she crawled in his lap, and he embraced her holding her the tightest she would allow.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered as she sobbed. “We’ll figure this out.”

They sat like that for a while on the bathroom floor, her sobs and him doing anything to calm her. Willa finally began to calm, a few deep breathes able to gain entrance into her lungs.

“I’m sorry,” she choked out. “I’m so sorry, Tom.”

He shushed her gently, grabbing a tissue as he noticed she aggravated the cut on her eye. Tears and blood stained his shirt and he felt her breath hitch when she noticed. “Tom…” her voice soft yet panicked.

“It’s okay, looks like you just opened it up a bit,” he said dabbing the tissue about her eye, “It’s not bad.” His hands were gentle as he cared for her.

“I’m sorry,” she said again her eyes unable to meet his. She thought of her mobile and the texts that she had been receiving and the knowing that she needed to tell him. The panic attacks were worsening, and the messages were becoming more frequent. “I’m putting you through Hell.”

He sighed a subconscious agreeance, “It’s our Hell, Willa. And you needn’t apologize for anything that frightens you, or makes you uncomfortable. We’ll get through this. Just remember I love you, and that will never change. I will protect you and Molly to any extent that I can.”

Willa relaxed against him, another deep calming breath escaped her as she tried to keep Jack and his torment to herself. She nodded and he kissed the top of her head, “Come on, let’s get some sleep.” 

Willa didn’t sleep. The periodic buzz of her phone waking her if she slipped into uneasy slumber. Nightmares and his voice tortured her. She watched the dawn peak through the windows, cradled in Tom’s arms. Shades of purple, pink orange and red streaked across the sky, reminding Willa of the bruises on her face, and arm, and his threat to return. Sunrises were supposed to be promising, not horrifying as her mind implied. She clenched her eyes shut and snuggled deeper into Toms safe embrace, he obliged in his slumber, pulling her closer. There was little sleep for her that night. Very little the night prior. The phone buzzed again, tormenting. 

“Where am I Willa? I could be here or there?”

She shivered and decided that she needed fresh air. She gently removed herself from Tom’s embrace, grabbed her phone, wrapped herself in a hoodie, grabbed a blanket off the chair and headed out to the terrace.

Grateful for the three-season room Johanna had added, she seated herself on a dry chaise and breathed in the fresh London morning air. Her phone continued to buzz against her. Each time she glanced she fell deeper into into the darkness that Jack had kept her in and she fought so hard to get out.

"I’ll rape you in front of him. Make him join. You disgusting disease ridden whore.”

"Then slice your throat, and raise your daughter. She’ll be a whore like her mother."

Again the panic welled. The thoughts of him taking Molly again ran rampant in her head. The thoughts of him hurting Tom. The wail came from the pit of her belly, as the fear enveloped her.

Tom had heard that same cry two days prior. His eyes flew open to find an empty bed, and he quickly searched the room. Finding the terrace door cracked open he ran up the stairs to find her heaped in the chaise.

"Willa," his heart raced as he saw her visibly trembling. Then it hit him. Her behavior, her distance, her panic was all Jack’s doing. "Tell me, love. What’s going on? I need to know to help you." 

She couldn’t say anything. Her throat again thick with the fear that had compounded for days. Tom placed his hand on her knee, trying to comfort as much as he could. Thinking fast, trying to place himself in her mind, to get her to open up to him. He needed her to trust him, exclusively. “Wills, I need you to fully trust me. For you and Molly.” 

Shaky hands handed him the mobile. “He’s going to k-k-k-kill me.”

He took the phone and opened the text dialogue from Jack. Horrified, he read, and she heard him swallow hard. The threats against Willa and Molly, the threats against him, were they empty? Or was he planning to make due on them? The emotional and verbal abuse thrown at the woman he loved and cherished crushed him. Jack was doing it right from under him. Jack was destroying her.

His mind raced. Anger welled. His heart broke. The sobbing woman that shook in his arms needed him in a way he never thought imaginable. 

She was his life.

He needed to save hers.

 

A/N: We are delving into Willa’s past with Jack again… And it’s not pretty. If you ever find yourself in this predicament, there are several private and protected ways to get you to safety. You do not have to live in fear.

US: 1-800-799-SAFE

UK: 0808 2000 247


	15. Chapter Fifteen

Chapter 15

The calmness that came over Tom terrified him.

The million and one thoughts that raced through his mind, the feel of the trembling woman against him, the knowledge of the still sleeping child in her bedroom whirled through his mind in machine gun succession. He had to think for her, for them. And the decisions he had to make had to be quick and intelligent. 

The rage flourished within him.

And yet he was calm.

He scrolled through the texts again his lips pressed to Willa’s hair, the light floral scent of her hair helping him maintain his composure. If there ever was a time he would wish death on someone, something entirely not in his nature, it was now. He seethed on the inside. Each word on her phone tearing at him like a hot blade, stabbing him over and over again.

She had escaped Jack. Rebuilt her life. Made a sanctuary for herself and Molly. Fell in love…

He would be damned if Jack was going to take that all away from her.

She softly sobbed against him and his fingers tangled in her hair in a calming manner, “How much do you trust me, Wills?”

Her breathing was fractured as she brought her eyes up to his. Those blue eyes, that once held joy and were bright and full of life, were the dead eyes he first saw in Regent’s Park. “With my whole heart.”

He believed her.

Even though she had kept the texts from him, and had continually told him she was alright, he believed her. She had her reasons, the abused mentality, the embarrassment that she was, in her mind, allowing Jack into her head, the fear that if she had told him he would make due on his threats. “Tom, I’m so scared. I’m so sorry. I-I-I-I didn’t think he would…I-I-I thought I did the right thing.”

Her phone buzzed again and Tom read it. He held back the anger and disgust as he read the text to himself, “The more you ignore me, whore, the faster I come back.”

“You did, love. You did everything right.”

The panic pained her. She pulled away from his embrace, her face flushed with emotion and fear, arms curling around herself to hold herself together. “Tom you need to leave. Your career, you can’t be involved with this…with-with-with me. I’ll bring you down.”

He cupped her face, tears fell hot and furious from her eyes.

And he was still calm.

“Wills. I need you to settle, love,” he said, directing her eyes to his, “Take a deep breath. You’re exhausted, and rightfully frightened but I need you to compose yourself and I need you to trust in me.”

She nodded her head wildly and he pulled her to him, cradling her head to his chest. The staccato of her breathing as she calmed, rocked against him.

“I’m sorry.” The apology still poured from her lips.

He kissed her head, holding her as close as she would allow, and sighed as her reversion back to her abused self wracked his heart. “Never apologize for your strength. Or what you feel is weakness. This, what he’s doing to you, what he is making you feel, is not weakness or failure. This is the work of a jealous, angry sadist in a psychotic break, that holds nothing but malice towards you. You escaped him, and he refuses to come to terms with that. The fact that you endured years of this and you’re sitting right here, allowing me to hold you and to love you is nothing short of how powerful and strong you are. You’ve fought this battle, one that no woman should ever endure. You’ve fought gallantly and fairly, when you honestly shouldn’t have. It’s time Wills, to let others take the charge to fight for you and Molly.”

Willa shook her head, and her eyes went wide with fear, “No Tom, he’ll get mad. He’ll come after me…after you.”

He sighed, his composure remaining, “I promise you, Willa. He won’t. There’s one thing that I am not afraid of and that’s Jack Morgan ever laying another hand on my girls or myself.”

Willa’s breathing hitched, and a childish sniffle interrupted them. Molly stood there in front of them forlorn and frightened. Willa let out a squeak that Tom interpreted as the switch from pain to rage as Molly stood there, sweaty and tear stained clutching her doll, “Daddy left me in the park alone again.” 

Willa felt her heart in her throat as she saw the fear in her daughter’s eyes, and rage surged. She signaled Molly over, and the little girl quickly closed the gap between them.

She climbed into their open arms, and Tom held them both tight.

The little girl shook and Willa caught her breath, “Tom, do what you need to do.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Tom immediately took control. His first call was to Jo. For Willa and Molly’s sake, she was the rock; the foundation that Willa always relied on, and trusted. Tom needed her help to keep them calm, to help with basics, to pull anything else out of Willa that would help her case. Jo, even in the early morning hour, made no hesitation to be by her best friend’s side. 

His second call was to Luke. Luke could get Willa in to see her psychiatrist or find one immediately to help her with her triggers. He could also help Tom with an escape and safety plan for them if Jack did decide to return to London. Tom felt that Jack was bogus and mendacious with his threats, but still didn’t trust the man. Both Willa and Molly would need a bodyguard until Jack was captured and extradited back to London to face his crimes. 

His last call was to Detective McKenzie. Jacks texts and his torment would add another charge to his file, along with kidnapping, child endangerment, abandonment, assault and stalking. He arrived shortly after Jo did, with breakfast and a warm smile. He scrolled through the texts, slowly, reading each one as Willa cringed.

“This isn’t your fault,” he said as he scrolled through the texts, sounding much like Tom did earlier. “Let us protect you now.” 

Taking the phone into evidence, Jo quickly had her office assistant call Willa’s clients to inform them of a fraud and that she would be supplying them with a new contact number and that Willa could be reached through Jo. “I’m afraid I am going to lose everything I worked for, that he’ll get his revenge on me.” 

Jo gently traced her fingers on the bruise along Willa’s face, “Not in this lifetime. He’s declared war on a well prepared army.”

Willa shrugged, fatigue and worry set in her eyes, “I wish he were gone. To fade away in Hong Kong. I just feel as long as he or WE are alive, he will never leave us alone.”

“I am not one to wish karma on anyone’s lot, but his has ran out long ago.” 

“Karma, God, prayer… please, just leave Molly and I alone.” 

“He will, Willa. I have a feeling he will after all this is done.” 

It was suggested that Willa and Molly leave the house. While she did have a great security system on it, the detective wanted to ensure their safety and had hopes that the Chinese embassy would capture him quick. 

“We can go to Mum’s. I can take you and Molly, have Emma come out, and you can all stay there for a couple of days. Until this all clears up and I can be assured of your safety,” Tom said as he drummed his long fingers on the table. Willa’s breath hitched with panic and Tom took her hand, “Wills, Mum supports you. She’s on your side. She respects everything you have done.“

Willa exhaled with uncertainty, “Including getting her son into a heaping mess? She owes me no respect.”

Tom frowned and ran his thumb up and down her hand, in a manner to comfort him than her, “It’s not that way at all, Willa.”

The look in his eyes was sincere and she recalled the message the Emma had dictated to her, “I just don’t want to crowd her.” 

He kissed her hair, and tucked a stray strand behind her ear, “You won’t. The beach air will do you both good. Until we get Jack in prison, I know you’ll be safer there than here right now.”

She finally nodded in agreeance, “Maybe soon, one day, we can live a normal life. Not that I would know what that is, but I long for the days to figure that out with you.”

He smiled, the first genuine smile he had all day. The calm that he felt earlier was now explained. She loved him. There was no doubt in his mind. “There will be a lifetime of days, Wills. A lifetime.”

*~*~*~*~*~*

Willa didn’t remember much of the drive to Tom’s mother’s residence. Drowsy and anxious even with the medicine her therapist prescribed her coursing through her veins, she still fretted seeing the matriarch of the family. She had been to the house before, with Jack, some 11 years ago. She recalled the beach party that Tom had hosted for the rugby team fondly. Jack was kind to her that weekend. Close quarters, she thought. 

The house had changed quite a bit since then, a bit larger from her last visit years ago, a boardwalk, and a swingset lined the yard, and a conservatory was built with views of the sea. Bigger, as the family grew larger and the house held a special place to them. Willa inhaled the salty air, looking for more comfort than Tom’s hand on her back, as the elder woman greeted them, knowing this would be Diana’s first time meeting Molly. 

Diana saw Willa’s apprehension and offered the younger woman a gentle smile. Her hand gently touched Willa’s bruised cheek and her eyes spoke kindness and understanding, “You’ll find nothing but strength and love here, sweetheart. Your courage is one to be reckoned with, as is this family. Come, let’s get you inside so you can rest.”

Willa offered a weak but gracious smile, “Thank you, Diana. I never…”

The elder woman cut her off, “No. While I want to believe there’s a reason for everything, there’s none for this. My dear, you’ll have your safety here.”

Molly peeked through the gap between Willa and Tom and offered Diana a shy smile, the elder woman leaned down to her and took her hand, “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Molly.”

“It’s my pleasure,” she answered in her small voice, clinging on to Tom’s leg. 

Diana beamed, “She’s beautiful and polite, Willa.” She cupped Molly’s face and stroked her cheek, “Just like her mother.” The wind blew chill, the remnants of the storm still holding on to the coast, “Come, there’s tea and sandwiches inside.” 

Molly ran ahead with Emma, and Willa walked with Diana as Tom and Luke gathered luggage from the car. Willa sighed, the guilt overwhelming her, “I’m sorry. I know you don’t want an apology, but I am. I thought he was gone, I would have never brought Tom into this…”

She grabbed Willa’s hand and stopped her words short, “Willa, Tom is a grown man and you are a very strong and successful woman. You fought hard to get away, but sometimes evil will try it’s damnedest to overpower what’s it’s lost. When my son talks about you and Molly, he speaks like you both are his world, and a mother couldn’t ask for more.”

Willa forced a smile and exhaled, “Thank you.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

“Go upstairs, get some sleep.” Tom kissed Willa’s head as they both stood at the sink finishing the dinner dishes. Her eyes were glazed over from fatigue, stress and fear and the fact that she dropped the same cup in the soapy water several times only exemplified how exhausted she was. “I’ve got this, Molly’s been asleep for an hour now, go join her.”

Willa exhaled, the feeling of trying to be super woman overwhelming her as she tried to swallow the fact that she was indeed human. 

“I’m fine, really.” The cup fell again into the water and Tom took it from her hands.

“I can, you know, toss you over my shoulder and put you to bed.”

A chuckled escaped her lips. “Big muscles, little woman… “ she started as she made a caveman gesture.

He slanted his eyes to her, and quickly wrapped his arms around her hiking her over his shoulder. Giggles erupted from them both, a sound very pleasing to the ear, as he carried her out the kitchen and through the living room where Diana and Emma were deeply involved in a tennis conversation. 

Willa, beat red from embarrassment, but loving the feel of the laughter in her belly said her goodnights from her precarious position. The two women joined her in her laughter, “Thomas be careful with her. Willa, please get some rest dear,” Diana tapped Willa’s cheek lovingly and gave her a sweet smile.

Willa closed her eyes as he carried her up the stairs, he gently stepped over Molly on her trundle and gently sat her down on the bed. She was too light for his liking, which he added up to stress. He wouldn’t chide her, but would keep an eye on her. Another worry he added to his own personal list. 

Willa yawned, the sound and scent of the sea gently wafting in the slightly open window relaxing her. Exhaustion clearly written on her face, she inhaled deeply lacking the energy to dress into night clothes. “Need some help?” Tom whispered as he handed her the pajamas she packed. 

She shrugged, eyes heavy lidded she wondered if she should even take the sleep aid that was given to her. Feeling his eyes on her, she slowly got up and made her way to the bathroom to wash up for the night. 

Willa winced at her reflection. The cut and bruise, the sleepless nights, the stress were marring her face. Her lips were dry from the constant anxious nibbling, cracked and they bled a little earlier. She had medication for that too. She swallowed the emotion that welled in her throat painfully as she washed and dressed her eye. She sniffled back the tears as Tom knocked lightly on the door. 

The protector.

Her overwhelming guilt.

She opened the door and offered him a smile. She wondered if he could tell it was fake. His hand traced her face, “I love you.” He reminded her, almost as if he was lost for words. 

“I love you too,” Her soft reply almost automatic. 

“I won’t be too long, just finish up with the dinner plates, and talk to Mum and Em a bit.” He kissed her cheek, another reassurance.

Willa nodded, sat down on the bed and took the sleep aid. She didn’t want to think. Her head pained from the nonstop thoughts. “Good Night.”

He kissed her again, chastely on her lips, “Sleep, love. This will all be over soon.” 

Another nod, another pang of guilt. “I know.” 

He tucked her in, gave another kiss to her forehead and he closed the door behind him. She heard his footsteps as they went down the stairs and she allowed herself to cry. She balled herself up and the tears fell. The guilt overwhelming her. The strange surroundings. His need to protect her. Jack’s voice rose loud in her head again, “He’ll eventually leave you, you worthless whore.”

She clutched her head, “Just go away. Leave me alone!”

The memories flashed in her head. All ten plus years. The pain, the anguish, the abuse. She remembered being meek and timid, thinking that this was how it would be with someone powerful in business. That she needed to be obedient and that she deserved the punishments. She recalled the hiding, the fear, the emptiness of being forced to be alone. The threat of putting Molly up for adoption, the threats of killing them both. 

The tears fell harder as she remembered the court date again, the finalization of their divorce and how badly she wanted him back. The guilt and nausea rolled in her belly and she hiccuped a sob. 

She recalled the night Vic Hendricks spiked her drink, all in the chance of raping her. Her naivete angered her, and she grabbed at the sheets as the anxiety welled. Rape. Again. She felt hollow and used, unlovable. She cried out but made no noise, the pain overwhelming her.

Then there was Tom, on the pathway in Regent’s. His caring eyes and tone. His adoration of Molly. Their first date and the first time they made love. His admitting that he loved her. His confusion and guilt in the aftermath of Jack’s attack. His full support and protection now.

She balled herself even tighter, and the tears fell. Willa was losing this battle that raged in her mind. Chest tightened as the anxiety welled. Jack’s maliciousness repeating over and over in her conscious.

Tiny fingers touched Willa’s cheek raising her from minds assault. “Momma?” 

Molly’s big blue eyes were full of concern, and glistened with tears, and it tore Willa apart, “Momma’s alright baby, go back to sleep. I’m sorry for waking you.”

Her fingers continued to dance lightly on Willa’s tears, “We’ll be alright, momma,” she whispered as she slipped into bed with her mother, her hand immediately back to Willa’s cheek. Molly’s blue eyes blazed into Willa’s, even in the dark, “He can’t hurt us anymore.”

Her child’s words. Her powerful words. The tears fell harder, guilt and now anger that her six-year old, a victim of Jack’s abuse as well, was giving her solace. “You’re right sweet pea, he can’t.”

Molly snuggled up to her mother, hand still protectively on Willa’s cheek and they both drifted off to sleep. 

*~*~*~**~*~*~

Willa was first to wake in the morning. She had slept through the night, thanks to the medication but the exhaustion still lingered. She slipped out of bed from between Molly and Tom, and smiled as she looked back at her sleeping loves. She quietly made her way downstairs to the kitchen, made herself a cuppa, and set out on the conservatory. The sun was beginning its ascent, and breaking through the gray clouds that had been lingering for days. The waves of the North Sea were calmer, and the calls of the gulls broke the silence of the chilly autumn day. 

She stepped outside onto the deck, and inhaled the chilled and salty sea air. It burned her lungs, yet eased her. She watched the sun begin to clear the waters’ horizon, its determination to break through the storm that wouldn’t budge evident. “He can’t hurt us anymore,” her daughters sweet voice loud in her head. 

Keep that thought. He can’t, he won’t. No more.”

She headed out to the beach, the sea was nearly calm, waves gently rolling, and the white noise of the current soothed her. The sand, still damp from the days long rains was hard under her feet, but still had some give as she walked. She found a spot a few yards from the house and sat, it was cold and damp underneath her, but the sun as it broke the horizon that early December morning warmed her cheeks. 

The gray clouds began to break apart even more, losing their battle to the warmth and the wind. Bits of bright blue mixed with the pinks, purples and oranges as the sun continued its empowerment over the horizon. 

Willa’s fingers sifted the sand, falling steady from it’s slotted crevice to the beach. She smiled to herself as a thought entered her mind. Each grain is a moment in time. She watched them sprinkle down and blow onto the dune. Hundreds of billions of moments sat before her, under her, around her as she picked up another handful and studied it. The mix of shells, glass and rock lay in her palm, as some bits sieved through her fingers again, too fine for her to hold. Others stuck, their adamant refusal to leave.

Memories and lessons, she thought. My life. This little bit right here, in this vast space.

She eyed the remaining sand on her palm. Eyes slanted as she tried to brush them off, yet they stayed. “This little bit is you, Jack,” voicing her thoughts out loud now. “And as much as you feel the need to stick around and make me uncomfortable and miserable you can’t. Not anymore.”

She brushed her hands together feeling the grit between them, and watched as the remainder fell away, “Memories, that’s all you are. Awful, hurtful memories that are going to make me stronger and wiser. No more. You can’t hurt us anymore.”

She inhaled deeply. The sun full and warm on her face. The salty sea air livened her. She jumped when she felt a blanket upon her shoulders and Tom’s solid form sitting down beside her. “I agree with you, love.” His arm snaked around her waist and pulled her close to him, “And sorry, didn’t mean to frighten you, I thought I made enough noise.”

She leaned into him and took a sip of her tea, “I was all caught up in my moment.” 

“Yes you were. It probably wasn’t privy to my ears, yet I can’t help but feel pride at your revelations.”

She exhaled resting her head on his arm, “I’ll still admit I am terrified.”

He kissed her hair, “And I will admit to you that until he’s facing his punishment, I will make sure you and Molly are safe.” 

Willa forced a smile as she pulled the blanket around her, and she did feel safe, safe enough to ask the question that riddled her mind, tore at her soul and hurt her heart. “Tom, may I ask you something?”

He nodded, “Anything, Wills. Of course.”

She took his hand in hers, laced their fingers and admired how strong their hold was. His hand enveloped hers. She noticed cuts on his knuckles, and she wondered how they got there. From Jack? From the theatre? She studied them, a focus point that she needed because she couldn’t bear to look in his eyes are she began, “This is going to be a long road for me. For us, Molly and I. And we both need you, your support. I maybe shouldn’t have let myself fall for you, but I did. And I appreciate everything you’ve done for us. I just need to know, do you? Do you really love us? I need something to build on, Tom. Something that I don’t fear. And it probably shouldn’t be a relationship, but it is. Will you love me when you know everything? Will you love me when I falter? Will you love me when I…” her voice trailed as she recalled their lovemaking the other night and her panic, and his patience through that.

She cleared her throat of the emotion that welled and continued, “Will you love me when I panic and push you off? Will you love me when I get afraid and have nightmares? I-I just need to know. I don’t think I can manage a broken heart after all of this. If you can’t, I accept that and I value your friendship, but tell me now, before I go back into that house and face that counselor and dredge up all that he’s done.”

He sighed and nodded. A part of him wanting to be offended that she would ask, and most of him knew why she did. He tucked a finger under her chin and directed her eyes to him. “The answer to your question is simply, yes. I love you, Willa. It’s as simple as that. The love I have for you is something I have never felt before, it’s deep and powerful. I can’t see anything in my future without you beside me, and I will show you the same. That road you’re about to embark on?” He raised her hand to his lips and kissed her knuckles, “I will be your source of strength and encouragement and direction if you desire. My answer is yes.” He took her hand and placed it on his heart and she felt his pulse beneath her hand. Live, steady and strong. “I love you.”

She exhaled, and squeezed his hand in hers. “I couldn’t do this without you.”

“I wouldn’t expect you too.” He wrapped both arms around her and held her. The sun, finally defeating the battle with the remnants of the storm hung low, warm on their faces as the breeze reminded them it was very much late autumn. “I love you,” it was a whisper, meant for her ears, her soul, her heart.

“I love you too.” Her reply just as soft, yet very heavy with sentiment. “Tom?” another question on her lips, as she wiggled a bit and shivered.

“Yes love.” Oblivious, he cradled her warmth, lost in their moment together.

“Can we go in? My arse is frozen.”


	16. Chapter Sixteen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING - DOMESTIC VIOLENCE - SEXUAL ASSUALT -

Chapter 16

Johanna tossed the new phone she acquired for Willa on her desk and massaged her temples in an attempt to rid herself of the pounding headache that was plaguing her. She had spent the morning at the precinct having their IT department move all her contacts and whatever other information and pictures they could. Then Jo carefully went through and deleted anything that Willa wouldn’t need. 

Her head hurt and she had a sick feeling that wouldn’t bide. She exhaled deeply, her mind unable to focus on work or her business, only able to concentrate on her friend, her business partner, her sister. The phone was the easy part of her day as was the rescheduled photoshoots, missed deadlines and clients that seemed hard pressed by “emergencies” that had occurred. Life happens, even in the most unfortunate instances, and she wasn’t about tell clients what was going on in Willa’s life. 

Johanna never carried fear for herself, yet always for Willa. Her lack of upbringing before being taken in by WIlla’s parents gave her the thick spine and ability to take what she wanted. Her naivete, book smarts, and trustworthy demeanor always backfired on Willa, and while Willa had learned quite a bit in the past couple of years, the gut instinct that most people had really never developed. This feeling unsettled her, and Jo debated on driving out to do what she had done since they were children; protect Willa. 

Willa had been gone three days. On the shore, where Tom felt he could protect her. Jo wanted to send them to Scotland, or Ireland. Hell even the States, anywhere but here. Tom wanted Willa comfortable; to bring forth some healing. Jo understood his reasoning, but she pleaded with him to change his mind. He didn’t listen; so to Suffolk they went. 

Jo was worried. She knew Jack Morgan. Idle was something that Jack Morgan never was, even before he was psychotic. 

She groaned. She hoped this feeling was off the mark. That it was just a part of all that had happened to WIlla, and it was just a normal part of this crazy bit of life. The only thing was she was rarely ever wrong, and it felt almost like a purgatory… waiting. 

The ping of her email roused her focus. She was getting Willa’s emails, monitoring them in case he decided to go that route. He hadn’t. Jo figured he wouldn’t, Willa wasn’t attached to email like Jo was. Jack knew that. It would be a waste of time, and too easily traceable. 

Still, the feeling lingered and Jo wished it would just leave! 

Frustrated with herself, her helplessness and the nagging feeling, she closed the laptop and cleared her desk. Her mind was too cluttered with her uneasiness to be any kind of productive. The afternoon was quiet anyway; the holiday slowdown was thankfully beginning. She had to go to the theatre district to give Tom Willa’s new phone, and maybe some fresh air would do her good. Maybe a call to Willa would ease her some too. They had spoken several times a day, during breaks of the intense therapy she threw herself in to. Willa’s parents, while understanding and supportive of their daughter, didn’t know all the details. Willa kept what she could from them. They knew it was bad, they knew he hurt her, and it was probably best they didn’t know more.

Jo was her voice of reason, a comfort that even Tom couldn’t touch. She shrugged on her coat, collected her laptop bag, and just as she was about to put Willa’s phone and her phone in her purse, her phone buzzed. 

“I’m on my way you bugger!” she said to herself with a sigh, assuming it was Tom. He was going to drive up this evening to bring Willa the phone, and Jo was going to tag a long. 

She picked up the phone, and felt her chest tighten and nausea roll as she read the message. 

“I have her.” 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

“Emma, I need alone time. A few minutes. I’ve had a bodyguard up my arse for days now.” Willa grabbed her coat, and slipped on her shoes, determined to slip out, “I need to clear my head. I won’t wander far.” 

Emma was hesitant, yet she didn’t see the harm in granting her a few minutes, “My brother will kill me if he ever finds out. Stay close okay? I’ll keep an eye on you from here.”   
Willa kissed Emma’s cheek, “Thank you for understanding.” 

Home. While she enjoyed the comfort of the beach and the salt air, the crisp late autumn breeze that refreshed her after hours of the intense therapy, Willa longed for her own home, her own bed … Tom. 

Her slip out of the Hiddleston home, even under the duress of Emma, was needed to digest what her mind made her relive. She was tired of talking, and she cherished the few minutes to clear her mind. The sun was setting and she was the only one on the beach. The waves were a little rougher than they had been the past few days. Another storm approaching, perhaps? Winter was only a few weeks away and the stormy season was already brutal. She wrapped her coat tighter around herself, the wind taking on more than it’s usual chill. 

She recalled her epiphany days before, as the sand shifted beneath her feet. Willa smiled to herself, recanting the hours of therapy in the conservatory, breaking through and learning about what she had mentally blocked, and learning how to live as a survivor. 

Survivor. 

She was and forever will be. 

She admitted to her counselor she sometimes feared Tom’s love for her, that she was frightened to allow herself to let him love her because of all the filth Jack had filled her head with. At the same time, it was the most powerful thing she had ever felt. Her counsellor reminded her the love from Molly and Tom were her greatest weapon. 

His calls to her every few hours implied that. Comforting and empowering with his tone and his words, he encouraged her. Strong and Brave. 

Survivor. 

An odd feeling came over her as she walked. A feeling of eyes on her as the sky turned violet and dark. She scanned around her and saw nothing, not even Emma on the deck; just an empty beach. She walked a few more feet and was overwhelmed by the feeling again. With no one in sight, she decided to turn back regardless. 

“You’re being silly, Willa,” she said to herself as she slowly looked up.  
“No, you’re being a fucking cunt.” His voice mocked her, his eyes wild. He had appeared out of nowhere and she tried to scream as he grabbed her arm. 

Willa fought to run from his grasp but he overpowered her, his hand hard against her mouth. She bit down, the taste of blood filling her mouth as she struggled against him. 

“You’ll pay for that bitch!” he said through gritted teeth, then knocked her hard on the head with whatever object he had in his other hand.

Willa went limp in his arms. Her mouth covered in blood, a mix of both his and hers. 

“I told you I was coming,” he said as he picked her up and carried her away to the awaiting car. 

*~*~*~*~*~

Willa’s own groan echoed in her ears and sent spindles of pain through her body. She inhaled, eyes still closed in hopes to familiarize herself with scent, but there was nothing familiar about where she was. She strained her ears, still afraid to open her eyes; the last memory she had before everything went black replayed itself over again. It was quiet, too quiet. Besides the thrumming of the injury to her head, it seemed all life ceased. Fear rose in her throat, maybe she had died and the pain was eternal. 

“Get up, lazy.” His voice was menacing. She slowly took a breath, her mind racing with pain, fear, and oddly courage. 

She opened her eyes slowly, propping herself on an elbow. Jack sat across from her, staring at her with an angry expression as she roused. She stared back, doing all she could to hinder her fear. “Where are we?” she asked, holding his gaze. 

His eyes were red rimmed and looked fatigued. She wondered how long it had been since he slept.

“Where they can’t find you. They’ll take any name here if you give them enough cash.” He was matter of fact, and she believed him and in the same instance hoped he was wrong. 

She huffed a sigh, the pain in her head causing her to wince as she sat up, “What’s your plan then?” 

His lips curled in a smirk, and she would have swore at the moment she saw his mind switch, “For you?” He wrinkled his forehead and the laugh he mustered was so maniacal that she felt her skin goosebump. “Whatever I please.” 

Courage or stupidity welled in her heart, “That’s pretty vague, Jack.” 

The sting of his hand on her cheek didn’t surprise her. She kept her demeanor, she would do all she could for him not to break her, “Don’t you EVER talk back to me!” 

Her breath hitched as she kept eye contact, something she knew was irritating him. Show no fear Willa, she thought. He laughed under his breath, “You really want to know?” He twisted his face and leaned in close to her, “I plan to make you suffer. You deserve nothing but pain.” 

Willa scowled, “What have I ever done to you? Tell me Jack. If this is how it’s going to be, then I have a right to know!” 

He stood up and stepped closer to her, grabbing a fistful of her hair and forcefully yanked her head back to look at him. The yelp she gave was automatic, and the tears pooled in her eyes. His eyes filled with rage, his face tight with anger as his teeth clenched, “What have YOU done? You fucking cunt! What have YOU DONE? You always fucking lied to me! You never fucking listen, you daft twat! You can’t do anything right!” 

He forced her down on to the mattress, and straddled her roughly, “You’re a horrible fuck, but it gets me off when you scream and cry. And when I hurt you. And when I make you beg to stop, when you cower.” 

She turned her head, the lust filled expression on his face terrifying her. “Every guy wanted you. They would always look at you. Your arse, your tits… but you are mine. I own you, and I always will.”

 

She swallowed hard, and his grip grew tighter. “You’ve always made hurting you easy, whore,” he ground out. 

He kissed her hard, ramming his tongue down her throat. The burn of bile rose quickly and she vomited when he released her. “You’re disgusting,” he said as he rose off her and left the mattress. 

Willa watched as he paced the room. It was a hotel room, she was sure of it. The curtains were drawn so she couldn’t tell where, and everything was missing; the phone, guest cards, room service binder, pamphlets - all hidden from view. He had put thought into her will to escape. 

“Do you plan to kill me?” The question churned her stomach again as it left her lips. 

He smirked again, “I have given it thought. Although torturing you, letting you go, going into hiding myself just to do it all over again in a few years sounds so much more appealing.”

Willa leered at him, trying to calm the fear that still bubbled inside her. 

“And to think, all you had to do was drop the charges on my mate, Vic,” he said. 

She wrapped her arms tight around herself, she knew he was lying about Vic. His intentions to kidnap and torture her were evident when he found out she was with Tom, and happy. She felt her own anger well, and slanted her eyes at him, “Really Jack? Why? It’s done, it’s over, I left. I have moved on. Why?! Just leave us alone!” 

Jack rushed the mattress and his fist connected with her already injured eye hard enough to send her backwards on to the bed. She screamed loudly as a warm trickle of blood spread on her cheek. She curled herself into a ball as he pounced on her. He grabbed her wrists and forcefully unfolded her, placing them violently over her head. 

“It will NEVER be over!” he spat as he straddled her body, his thighs painfully crushing her ribs. His eyes were ripe with rage and the fear that Willa was desperately trying to hide flooded her. Tears mixed with the blood from her cut and began to stain the sheets pink. 

“Stop,” a choked whimper escaped her lips as his hands felt like they were crushing her wrists. “Please Jack. Stop.”

He shook his head and smiled, “No.” 

With precision, Jack grabbed rope he had hiding in the night table drawer, and he bound her wrists to the headboard. She kicked him, which only exemplified his anger as he restrained her feet, leaving her immobile, spread eagle, and virtually exposed.  
He paced the room again, wringing his hands as she whimpered, “Shut up!” 

She did her best to keep quiet. Thoughts of Tom and Molly coursed through her mind. She worried that Tom would blame himself for this, and she choked on a sob as she thought that she may never see them again. “I’m so sorry, Tom,” she said in a barely audible whisper, yet Jack heard her.

His hands were quick around her neck, and she choked for breath as he squeezed her throat. “Don’t you EVER say HIS name in MY presence!”

Willa squirmed as she fought for breath, darkness clouding her mind as his grip tightened only letting go a moment before she lost consciousness. She wheezed and gasped for air, the rush of oxygen into her lungs burning as she coughed. “Don’t make me kill you, Willa,” he threatened again.

She looked up at him, her eyes still trying to regain their focus from the deprivation, stinging from the blood and tears, “Then do SOMETHING Jack!” Her voice hoarse, she spat at him through gritted teeth. 

His face suddenly changed and he sighed, then calmly chuckled, “You’re a mess,” he said sickenly sweet as he removed himself from her and retrieved a wet washcloth from the lavatory.

She flinched as he cleaned her cut, unsure of what his motives were. “You can’t bleed everywhere, now.”

He was gentle as he dabbed the wound, then dried the tears that continued to well, “My sweet Willa.” 

Confusion ran in her mind, and she realized it was a psychotic break. She quickly wondered if she should try to reason with him. The thought of Molly growing up without her made her decision. 

“Jack, just let me go.” Her words were sweet, endearing, “Just let me go and I won’t say anything. You can go into hiding like you said before, I promise, not a word.” 

He leaned over and kissed her cheek tenderly, “Now, we both know that cannot happen.” He traced her cheek, then kissed her forehead and offered her a smile. “I’ll be back soon.” 

*~*~*~*

Time passed and Willa’s fingers were soon purple and she was sure her feet were too as she couldn’t feel them. The rope was cutting into her wrists from her struggling with her binds and were turning them a dark red from the stains as her skin wore away. Her throat hurt and she could tell that her face and eyes were swollen. Her choked cries for help had gone unanswered.

“There has to be a way out of this,” she said to herself. “Hold it together, Willa. You have to keep your wits about you.” 

Trying to relax, she recalled moments and things that made her happy. Molly’s contagious laughter and bubbly personality. The way Tom always looked at her, and the way his smile stretched from ear to ear. Johanna’s quick wit and devotion to them. She wondered if they would still be a part of Molly’s life if she didn’t survive this, and she damned herself for the thought sneaking its way into her mind. 

“No, you will live, he cannot take your life, Willa. He took almost everything else, but he cannot take your life.”

Her pain was intensifying with each movement. She was hungry, thirsty, and fatigued. She closed her eyes, Molly’s sweet voice in her head, “He can’t hurt us anymore, Momma.” 

“Rest Wills,” she smiled as the endearment Tom used for her rolled off her lips. “They need you.” 

Hours passed and Jack slammed the door open rousing Willa from a fitful sleep. He staggered toward her, drunk, and he slanted his eyes as he tried to focus on her, “Good, you’re still here.”

She rolled her eyes, hopeful that she had a chance while he was inebriated. He was a notorious sloppy drunk.

He took her face in his hands and examined her injuries, then noted her wrists and feet, “I bet those smart a bit.”

She closed her eyes and nodded, his breath reeked of stale beer and onions.

“I could untie them, but I don’t trust you and well, I’ve had a few pints.” He ran his tongue on her cheek and she winced. “You’ll be much easier to fuck tied up,” he slurred.  
He ran his hand down to her belly and slipped it under her shirt, and began to fondle her breasts. “That would be something, give you back to Hiddleston used and pregnant? Then again, Mr. Prim and Proper most likely forces a pill down your throat daily.”

The hand that cupped her breast slowly made it’s way to her waistband and slipped between that and her panties. She turned her head away from him, and began to sob as his fingers dipped into her folds. Hot tears fell from her eyes as he tried to manipulate her without any success. “You really are a cold cunt,” he said as he licked his fingers. “Still as sweet though.” 

Her mind raced as she sobbed, looking for any thought that would bid her escape as he groped her. She squirmed under his touch, revolting from the pain, fear and disgust. “Stop moving,” he commanded, his fingers hitched in her waistband and he pulled them down to her ankles. 

She whimpered, with fear and guilt as he was going to take her and there was no way out, “Please no.” 

“Just like old times.” 

Her thoughts ran to Tom. His tender touch, his voice when it was low and thick with lust for her, the way he gave her pleasure and the way he loved and adored her. Her eyes shut tight, hoping Jack wouldn’t demand them open, this would be much easier if she was on another plane, another existence. She heard the unbuckling and the drop of his pants, and she sobbed harder as she felt the mattress depress and the solid weight of him around her. She grimaced and groaned, the bile rising as she felt his penis hard against her thigh. Think harder, Wills.

Willa thought back to Paris, and the surprise reunion she had with Tom after she forced a split. His morning beard, tickling her thighs as he brought her to ecstasy over and over again. Then she recalled how angry Jack was when she mentioned Tom. 

Tom was her only weapon and she had to use him. 

“Mmmmm, Tom, I love it when you tease me like that,” she moaned in hopes of getting Jack to stop, even if the jealousy drove him deeper into his psychosis. 

His hand went tight around her throat for the second time, “I SAID NOT TO USE HIS NAME!” 

She coughed, “Oh Tom, I love it when you fuck me rough.” 

She squirmed, feeling the shortage of oxygen and his now flaccid penis on her belly as he choked her. His eyes were wide and dark with rage. She tried to swallow the fear and continued her torment. If he killed her, at least she would go down fighting, “The way you touch me, and pleasure me, Tom. Make me scream your name.”   
Jack was panting with anger, red with rage and Willa smiled and found his eyes, “Make me cum, Tom.”

He screamed and the blow to her face knocked her out momentarily. Willa came to as he shook her violently. She felt both her wrists pop as he continued to beat her. His yelling was incoherent, unintelligible and rage filled, and Willa continued her calls for Tom. The beating placed her in another realm, everything happening in slow-motion, and she watched him beat her from above. She had Tom with her and Molly. Her parents and Jo were by her side. She had stopped his sexual assault on her. She had made him jealous. She used her weapon, and even though he continued to punish her with his hands, she kept what she held sacred between her and Tom. There was no way she would allow Jack to take that, no matter how brutal the beating. 

He suddenly stopped, breath staggered as he calmed, “Look what you made me do, you dumb twat!” 

Willa groaned as the pain began to rear itself as she re-entered her mind. She smelled and tasted blood, her hands were at awkward positions, but the bonds had loosened during his tirade. She was sure she could wriggle her way out. 

Jack paced the room, “You had to say his name, you just had to say his name.” 

One wrist through. 

She kept it raised above her as she slowly worked on the other. She still had her feet to untie, which she still couldn’t feel. Her body was so badly damaged she wondered if even crawling could be accomplished. Panic rose. If he caught her, death would be inevitable. "He can’t hurt us anymore, momma" echoed in her head. She had to take that chance for Molly. 

She looked at Jack through swollen eyes and he stared back. “I fucked up your face, hopefully permanently. Hiddleston will be sure to leave you now, ugly beast. You deserve the loneliness,” he spat.

He pulled his pants on and walked to the bathroom, where she heard water running as he cleaned himself up. “Please do me a favor and die while I’m gone. You’ll be much easier to dump.” 

She let out a pained sigh and turned her head away from him, “Just leave Molly alone.” 

He chuckled, “Haven’t decided on her fate yet.” He spit on Willa before he left. 

The other wrist finally slipped though the bonds. Her belly throbbed, and she could already see the bruising, red and angry. She cried as she tried to reach her feet, which were very purple and swollen. “You have to do this, Wills. For Molly. You have to do it for her.” 

She had to be quick. She gasped at the amount of blood on the sheets, as she leaned forward. Screaming as her mangled hands and body were forced to do another task. “Keep it together Willa.” She untied her feet, and the thought crossed her mind that she may lose them, “It’s not about you now, Willa.” 

She rolled off the bed with a cry and pulled the sheet with her to try to cover herself as best she could. There was no possible way to inch her pants back to her waist. She crawled to the door, and managed to open it revealing the hallway to a very high end hotel. She glanced quickly for a lift or someone to help her and she began the painful act of crawling. 

Her damaged voice called for help, raspy and barely audible but she yelled what she could, hoping that someone would hear her. She pushed the button, and waited for the lift, fear bubbling at what would possible be behind the sliding doors. She hoped for help, or an empty car, and she prayed that it wouldn’t be Jack. An empty car opened opened to her, and she sighed in relief. She crawled in, hit the lobby button, collapsed in the corner and cried. 

What happened next was a blur. 

The lift opened to a group of business women who were returning from a night of drinks. Willa heard their screams, but was too subdued in pain to recognize that they were there. Their screams alerted security immediately as they rushed over to aid, and called for medical back up. 

Jack was in the lobby and heard the commotion, and saw the crowd gathering at the lifts. He wormed his way over, and saw Willa in a bloody heap being tended too. Panic rose in his throat, as he thought of ways to get her back to the room. 

“Oh! there you are darling!” he said, with a worried tone. “I was wondering where you got to!” The women were taken aback by his lack of alarm. That he wasn’t bothered by how injured she was, “Let’s get you back to bed!” 

Willa’s eyes opened wide when she heard his voice, “No-no-no! Don’t let him take me!” her words were breathy and broken. 

A guard turned to Jack as Jack reached down to take her, “Sir, I need to ask you some questions.” 

Jack slanted his eyes, laughed nervously and began to back up slowly, “Oh, that’s not my wife. What was I thinking?” 

“Sir, I need you to come with me.” The guard’s tone was fierce and demanding as Jack continued to back away. 

The crowd closed in, someone grabbed Jack’s arm and he pulled himself free, turned on his heel and ran, “SIR! STOP HIM!” 

He pushed through those that tried to grab him, using his rugby experience to break through. He ran past the medics, and the constables that arrived, pushing through their barriers too. 

“Stop him!” 

He fled through the revolving door, and turned down the busy sidewalk the guard and constables in close chase. 

His feet were fast as he dodged the foot traffic on the busy sidewalk. Jack turned to look at what kind of a lead he had on them when he approached the busy road ahead of him. 

The guards and constables, stopped their chase. 

~*~*~*~*~* 

She heard Molly crying and couldn’t get to her. Incapacitated by the binds on her feet and a heavy fog on her she couldn’t explain weighed her down as she struggled to get up. Molly’s cries got louder, and Willa began to panic. She called out to her daughter and she didn’t answer, which panicked her more. She began to thrash about, the weight heavier on her, the room darker. 

“Willa,” a familiar voice gently said her name. “Willa, love, you’re okay. You’re safe.” 

It was Jo’s voice. She knew that voice. She threw open her eyes, her breathing short and rapid and her anxiety peaking. “Willa. Calm down.” 

Willa’s eyes were wide and frightened as they scanned the room. It wasn’t the hotel room. It was sterile, and there was unfamiliar equipment and the classical playlist that Willa loved played in the background. 

“Willa. It’s okay.” 

She turned her head to Jo’s voice, and the presence of her best friend startled her. 

“Jo?” she painfully furrowed her brows, the lucidity of the weight still heavy around her. “What? Where?” 

The mattress dipped as Jo sat on the bed, her eyes gentle but showing a bit apprehension, “You’re safe. You’re in a private hospital room. You’re injured, but you’ll be okay.” 

A nurse entered the room, alerted by the monitors attached to her patient, and offered Willa a smile, “Someone is finally awake.” 

“Finally awake?” Willa asked. “Jo?” 

Jo looked at the nurse as she took vitals and checked the machines, “You’ve been asleep for a couple of days. To help manage your pain, and your injuries.” She hesitated as WIlla looked over herself, noticing her bandaged hands and could feel that her feet and other parts of her body were bandaged also. 

“Jo?” her choked and hoarse voice squeaked as tears filled her eyes, “ What did he do? Where’s Molly?” 

“Sh-Sh-sh, Willa. Calm down. He can’t and won’t hurt you anymore. Jack has hurt you badly, you need to recover. You’ve broken bones and internal injuries, but you’re here and you’re safe. I’ve forced Tom out. He’s been by your bedside since they alerted us that they found you. He wanted to be here when you woke, but he’s out on a much needed date with Molly, a little theatre and tea,” she explained. 

“Jack? Where did he go?” The pain was beginning to overwhelm her as Willa recalled the nightmare ordeal, her thoughts ran to Molly and Tom unprotected from Jack’s rage. “Jo?” 

“Willa,” Johanna’s tone was still comforting, the nurse now checking the bandaged injuries as the tears spilled from Willa’s eyes, her hand reaching to touch her face. “Willa, calm down. He can’t and won’t ever hurt you again.”

Willa felt her swollen face with the tips of fingers that weren’t wrapped in a cast. “He’s gone Willa,” Jo said softly. “Dead.” 

Willa shook, a wave of emotions hitting her at once, “Dead?” Jack?” 

“Dead. While he was running from the constables as they tried to apprehend him. He ran after he admitted that you were with him when you somehow got yourself in the lift. He ran and he didn’t look left, and he made it easy for us, for you.” 

A sob left from deep within Willa. A sob that Jo knew wasn’t sorrow, but one that was mixed with pain, anguish and relief. “He-he-he…His fingers...” Willa cried, trying to explain, but words failing her. 

“We know, Willa. And he can’t anymore.” Jo took a tissue from the box at Willa’s bedside and gently dabbed her friend’s eyes, and tucked a strand of hair that fell in her face back. The steel blue of Willa’s eyes shown deep within the red and purple bruising. Her wounds would heal, and Jo wondered how long her psyche would take, how much Willa would change. She explained the injuries to her, the extent of the damage he had done to her, the prognosis of her physical healing, and Willa listened silently, as she looked at her casted hands. 

A knock on the door disturbed the two. “May I interrupt?” Tom said in a tone that Willa determined as unsure and shy. 

Jo smiled, and looked at Willa for approval, “I’ll leave you two, but I’ll be right outside.” She kissed Willa’s bruised cheek and got up to leave. As she passed Tom she whispered, “She knows he’s gone.” 

He took the place that Jo was sitting in, and the two held a stare. His thoughts raced as he searched her eyes, looking for any sign that she was fighting fear geared towards him. He quickly assessed she seemed comfortable with him by her, yet he could see the despair and trouble in her eyes. He had played this moment in his mind from the moment he first saw her, searching for words that would comfort her, and himself. He felt the emotion well, and he cleared his throat, “My gorgeous girl,” he said. “My beautiful, courageous, and gorgeous girl.” 

She choked out a half laugh, half sob, spittle and drool at the corner of her injured lips foamed. He took a clean tissue and slowly moved to help her, the counselor reminding him that his movements needed to be slow and calculated until Willa was sure of her comfort around him. She didn’t flinch, and he exhaled, slightly comforted by that. 

“Molly?” she asked. Her voice was different. Raspy, damaged. Her mother explained the extent of the injuries to her throat, and that her voice may change forever. “How’s Molly?” 

He smiled, “She’s okay. She wants to see you. She’s understanding some things, and confused about others. She’s been very open about what happened, but she really wants to see you. And I don’t know if I overstepped my boundaries, but I talked her into waiting until you were awake. I thought…” 

“It would be less frightening for her,” Willa finished. “And you did the right thing.” Sadness set in her eyes and it worried him. He could see her mind racing, the awkwardness between them growing. He gently moved his fingers to her cheek and let his fingertips dance on the bruised skin. She turned to his touch, and her bandaged hand reached for his. “I’m sorry…” 

It was a squeak. And he knew why she was apologizing. For taking that moment for herself, to clear her head, for that bit of privacy that Emma said she so badly needed. 

“No, no, no,” His answer was a whisper, “Don’t you fill your head with that guilt. This was all Jack Morgan. “ 

“Emma?” she asked, knowing full well that his sister was blaming herself, “How’s Emma?” 

He gave her a half smile, which let Willa know he was stretching the truth, “She’s working through it. She loves you very much. I don’t think anyone realized he would go this far.” 

Willa sighed, she knew he would. Sooner or later he would have. 

She set her eyes back up to Tom’s. He looked haggard, sleepless, eyes deep set and tired, “Have you slept?” 

He let out a half laugh his heart pained that she noticed, that he made her worry. “Not much,” he answered as she took her hand to touch his cheek. He helped her, and her touch was healing to him. The warm tips of her fingers on his skin, as they traced his cheekbone to his lips electrified him and tears welled in his eyes. Willa was alive, and she needed him. Her fingers wiped away a tear that fell from his eyes, and he kissed the tips of her fingers as they lingered on his lips, “I have had a lot on my mind.” 

She smiled and her breath hitched as she adjusted herself for comfort. She moved her head and he saw the ligature marks that he left on her neck and he swallowed hard; anger and grief. 

“Tom,” she said, realizing it was the first time she said his name since the attack, and he was there with her at that very moment, looking upon her with his tearful eyes. Loving her, supporting her. He leaned in closer, her voice naught but a whisper from the injury and fatigue, “That day on the beach, I asked you if you loved me? Loved us? And if you’re ready to be my rock? My foundation?” 

She coughed, and he helped her take a sip of water, “I remember, Wills, and my answer is still yes. I love you dearly.” He recalled the conversation vividly, still very fresh in his mind with her need for him. 

The endearment warmed her, and she closed her eyes as she felt his lips on her forehead. A gentle kiss as she felt his tears on her skin. She felt the strongest she ever felt in her life in that moment. His closeness, his gentleness, and his unconditional love for her all sealed within that brush of his lips. 

“I’m ready to build.”


	17. BlackBird - A Regent's Park One Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the course of fan fiction, authors can sometimes hurry our characters. We want them to move on, when they aren't entirely ready. This is that case. I had to go back, and let my Tom heal. He suffered too, and we both feel better now 

_Blackbird - A Regent’s Park One-shot_

 

Tom’s mother’s voice echoed loud in his head. Booming, repeating. It was the voice that had always brought him calm, but it now brought panic and fear throughout his being. “I’m so sorry, Thomas, Willa went for a walk, and he grabbed her. Emma saw him. The police are here, and they are looking for her….”

 The phone fell to the floor as he sank to his knees in the rehearsal room of the theatre. Feeling as if his heart and soul had been ripped from him. Willa was gone. The plan that he thought would keep her safe, had failed.

 He wanted to go numb, to cave into himself and the urge to run; the same, ugly urge that he gave into only days before spun into his thoughts, and it quickly swallowed the cowardly emotions that nauseated him.  

It was mere minutes after that call from his mother that Detective McKenzie had shown at the theatre to take Tom, Johanna and Willa’s parents to the sleepy beach town.

 His mind raced, and Johanna’s silence sliced him like a sharpened blade.  He knew her silence. She had begged him to send Willa elsewhere. Somewhere that Jack couldn’t find her. Somewhere where Jack had never been. Yet Tom had thought that the respite the beach had offered, even in the autumn, would help soothe Willa’s and Molly’s nerves. That even though Jack had been to the home before, he wouldn’t have the nerve to follow her there.  

 Tom was wrong, and he feared he was dead wrong.

 Detective McKenzie’s voice was muffled in his ears, Tom’s own thoughts overwhelming everything else. “The bodyguard followed them some ways… he has their plate number, and we are running searches everywhere. We’ll find her, Tom.”

 Tom didn’t answer, the emotion in his throat disallowed him too. He nodded, and the detective returned the sentiment, having presumably been in this situation with other families.  He stared out the window, and felt a hand cover his. He looked down and saw it was Esther’s, offering him some comfort and a consolation that he felt he didn’t deserve. He squeezed her hand gently in acknowledgement, his mind filling with words he couldn’t speak. Should he apologize? Should he comfort her in return? Should he take the blame for being selfish in keeping her close?  

 Esther, feeling his turmoil broke the heavy silence. “You did what you thought was right. There’s no fault in this, Tom. If there’s someone to place blame, it’s her father and I for not seeing the signs and helping her sooner. Jack...was just determined.”

 Her words rang just as loud as his mothers’ did.  He didn’t recognize the signs either. He never saw this coming, never imagined Willa’s confessions to him of what Jack did to her.  He knew Jack’s mission was to either kill her, or injure her enough so that she would never recover. Her escape from Jack festered his conscious to a maddened state.  

 Time was of the essence.  The longer Willa was with Jack, the less likely she would return home alive.

 ~*~*~*~*

 Molly ran out to the yard as the van pulled up looking for solace in the comforting arms of her family. Tom, half expecting her to run to her grandparents or even Johanna,  felt a sense of comfort as she scrambled up his height and wrapped her arms tightly around him. The duel of guilt and comfort battled in his brain as he comforted the girl.  The child that would eventually be his, if Willa should live.  

 “He’s got momma.” The soft voice of Molly pulling him back to reality.

 He finally found his voice. Molly needed comfort. “The officers will bring her home. They are looking for her sweet pea.”

 Detectives from Scotland Yard mingled about the home, up and down the street, and along the beach searching for evidence.  The family was informed that all airports and ferries in the United Kingdom were sent information with their descriptions and to question any customers wanting to pay with cash.  Tom heard none of this. The guilt in his conscious overwhelming him, blocking any and all voices.

Emma’s break down also fell on his deaf ears. Her tearful and guilty apology of letting Willa go alone went muted. This was no one's fault but his.  He should have sent her to the States, to one of the several friends he had over there.

 He insisted on the false sanctuary of his mother’s home. He had aided Jack. If Willa died, it would be on him.  

 “Are you going to be catatonic for eternity or are you going to speak anytime soon?”  Jo’s voice was harsh, snapping him from his selfish state. “I mean, the last time, you ran leaving me to mop up her mess. My question is: when are you going to run and wipe your hands of this?  I almost would understand if you do. You didn’t ask for her baggage, this horribleness, so I suggest if you want to bugger off you do so now, it would be bloody easier for Molly, easier for us, easier for Willa.”  

 He furrowed his brows.  He deserved Johanna’s outrage. He deserved her disgust as he left her to deal with Willa after Jack’s first assault.  “Jo, I am not going anywhere. I understand your anger at me, and I promise you I am here. I am here for you and for Molly and for Willa.”

 “Then bloody well act like it!” Jo’s eyes were wide and enraged as she confronted him, “You’ve been so wrapped up in yourself! Molly needs you! Your sister is blaming herself for all of this! And here you are again, checked out!”  

"If I had only listened to you, Johanna, this wouldn’t be happening.  Willa would be safe…”

 “Get that fucking thought out of your head! We don’t know that! Jack is a dastardly human being, cunning and twisted. He works on threats and lies.  He would have found her if she was here, Scotland or on a beach in California.  He would have bloody got her, and there’s nothing none of us could have done. She needs you here, Molly needs you here, not caught up in what you could have done to fix her world. I can’t have you absent when that little girl in the other room could potentially lose both her parents, and if she does Tom, if he... “The emotion flooded Johanna and her voice broke, “I can’t raise her alone.”

 He took Johanna’s form into his arms, feeling her fear and anger mixing with his. “If I can’t feel guilty for what I should have done, then you can’t have that forethought either. What we need to do is see what help we can offer, and be strong for Willa and Molly. You’re right, I can’t fall apart.” he said to her, as his mind added “Not right now.”

 *~*~*~*

 He wandered the beach with Molly close to him, her hand holding his as tight as she could, both needing fresh air and each other’s company. She shifted the sand under her feet, the very sand that provided Willa her epiphany days prior, all small moments in time. He wondered if she knew that Jack would find her, that he would finish what he started. She knew Jack the best, just as Jo knew him and his conniving ways. They walked in silence; Tom looking out for any sign of the woman he loved, Molly looking for anything to distract her mind.  

 He quickly dodged the girl past the area that was roped off. A bloody rock had been found and was taken into evidence. He didn’t want her to ask questions as he couldn’t sugar coat this. There was no way to bring this down to a six-year old level.  Molly grasped his hand tight; she was quiet and he knew these events were too much for her to take in.  There was an old overturned fishing boat that lay upon the beach.  He walked her over and hefted her on top of the rounded bottom, a place where many had sat and pondered, or loved, or cried out their heartache. Her steel blue eyes found his. Sadness, worry, confusion, and fear compounded them, and he had to be as honest with her as possible.  

 Johanna was right, as it stood right now if anything happened to Willa she would get custody of Molly. There was a document signed by both her and Jack, many years ago in case something would happen to either or both of them. His stomach sickened with that thought, the little life that sat before him didn’t need this trouble stealing her childhood; it wasn’t fair.

 A sniffle from her nose and a tiny hiccuped sob came from Molly as he tucked a strand from the rough ponytail he had pulled her hair into earlier. “Why is my daddy so mean?”

 Her eyes demanded answers. Both red and raw from her tears, they bore into his, silently begging for any truth he could provide her. “Molly, I wish he wasn’t.  I wish that I didn’t have to see this fear and uncertainty in your eyes. I wish I could give you a better answer on why your father has done these horrible things to you and your mother but I can’t.  What I can tell you, sweet pea, is that your mother and I love you very much, and that the police and detectives are doing everything they can to bring her home and get some help for your father.” Her eyes still held their stare, expecting more from him as he danced around her question, and he swore he could have saw her innocence leave. Feeling like as if he had been punched in the stomach.

 “Is he going to kill Mama?”  

 The question tore him even more, and he tried to remember the innocent child and her contagious laugh, that was still small enough to curl on his shoulder. The child that sat before him aged too many years in the span of only a few days. He picked her up and took her in his arms, feeling the tears well in his eyes as a sob shook Molly as she curled to him. “Sweet pea, I’m not entirely sure of his motive, and I know you’re scared.  I’m scared too.  But we need to be as strong as we can so that when we find her, we’re able to be there for her.”

 She sniffled into his neck, and he held her tightly. “I don’t want mama to die.”  

 “Neither do I.” He swallowed hard, the words a six-year old should never have to speak were spoken. “Let’s go back to the house and get warmed up. I’m sure your gran has some supper ready.”

 “I’m really not hungry.  I just want Mama back.”

 “Me too, sweet pea, me too.”

 He was lost.  He got Molly to take a few bites of supper, then forced himself to do the same. Running through the motions, a bath and story for Molly, trying to get her settled enough to sleep some, an update from the detectives, a call from Alastair assuring him that he was doing everything in his power to find Willa, a call from Luke that he would be up in the morning as he was handling the press and for Tom not to worry about that aspect of things. Tom finally sneaked out to the deck to breathe some fresh air and release the pain he had been hiding the past several hours.  

Leaning on the rail, the cold wind burning the tears that fell to his cheek, he heaved mighty sobs from within, looking to the sky for an answer or a sign, anything to assure him that Willa was still alive, that she was alright, that she would come back to him.

 “Please Wills, please know we’re doing our best to find you. Please know how much I love you, that we all love you, and that I’m trying to do my best with Molly.”

His voice cracked as he held tighter to the rail to steady himself. Nausea, dizzyness and heartache compounded him, not sure if he should vomit or collapse, his throat thick with bile made the decision quickly for him.  

 “Feel better?” Johanna asked as she closed the French doors that lead to the conservatory. She looked just as bad as he felt, skin grey and brow furrowed with worry.

 “No. Not really.” Was Tom’s reply. “Every hour she’s gone the less likely she’s coming home. The more he’s hurting her. I’m terrified, Jo. I’m helpless and useless. This is beyond me. I can’t go and search for her like I did with Molly. I’m just supposed to sit here and let him hurt her.”

 Johanna leaned up against the rail next to him, and took his hand. “I assure you, you aren’t alone in your feelings. We did our best to protect her, Tom.  And she will come home.  She’s a lot stronger now than what she was just a few months ago. You helped her with that; you helped her find that confidence.  She finally opened up all the way and told us what she went through. They will find her. And we will bring her back to health, we will, because I can’t imagine my life without her.”

 Tom took her in his arms and held her as she cried. Jo’s sign of weakness frightened him even more.  The usual way she took control of things with such ferocity was absent. “She’ll be home,” he assured as best he could. “She _will_ be home.”  

 The hours ticked slowly by; Tom watched them second by second on the grandfather clock in the sitting room.  Molly had curled up on him, a nightmare waking her and she found comfort in his arms. He was thankful she was sleeping, even if it was restless.  He tried to sleep also, grabbing a few moments every so often before being awoken by a ringing cell phone or his own nightmares.  He found a small amount of comfort with Molly resting on him. She had Willa’s pillow with her, and the scent of her every so often enveloped him. He closed his eyes, and remembered her face, her voice, her touch, things that he so desperately needed to calm him.  

 It was around five in the morning when he heard light commotion coming from the kitchen area. Detectives had stayed the night, mostly for protection of the family in case Jack returned for any reason.  Willa had been gone over 12 hours. He knew the statistics. That her return alive lessened significantly. Molly shifted in her sleep, and he swallowed hard, wanting to see what was going on, if there was any update. He was trying his best to stay out of the investigators way, but the conversation he was overhearing was making him nervous.

 Detective McKenzie made his way out to the sitting area, and put his hand on Tom’s shoulder, careful not to wake Molly and said with a whisper.  “Tom, we found her.”

 Tom sat up carefully, containing his want to jump for excitement, yet a deep sleeping Molly and the look on the detective’s face quickly subdued that emotion.  He slipped himself from under the sleeping child, covered her with the blanket, and followed him out of the room to the kitchen where some of the other detectives were preparing to leave to carry on the investigation.

 “We received a call from London, there was a woman that was found in an elevator at St Pancras Hotel brutally beaten. They didn’t want to assume it was Willa until identification was achieved.  They found the clothes she was wearing when she disappeared in a room registered to “Bill Hazeldine.”  She’s been transported to St Thomas hospital and is in surgery now.”

Tom’s eyes grew wide, and he choked back vomit. Jack had used one of his former character names, and kept her close to Regent’s to ensure escape through several means of transport. She was alive, although Jack did what he was determined to do. “And Jack.” His words were menacing. “Did they apprehend him?”

 The detective sighed searching for the words. “He gave chase from the hotel security and the police that had arrived. They chased after him, the streets were busy, and he didn’t stop.  He was run over twice, and it’s not looking good.  He’s at St Thomas too.”

 “Willa?”

 “They haven’t said anything more than what I’ve told you, son, except that she’s in bad shape.”

 “I need to go.  We need to go. She…” He held his tongue as Molly had walked into the room.

 “Mama?” Her voice weary, uncertain. Tom knew she heard Detective McKenzie’s last sentence.

 He picked her up and held her. “Yes, sweet pea. Your mama’s been found. Let’s gather our things so we can be there when she’s feeling well enough for us to see her.”

 She scrambled down, excitement radiating off her. Tom smiled at her innocence, not wanting to cease her joy as she raced through the house. “Nana! Grampa! Auntie! Mama’s been found!”

 The van will be ready when you are, Tom.  We’re hoping for the best.”

 Tom filled in the rest of the family as Detective McKenzie busied Molly in the kitchen, prepping some toast and tea for the weary family. He saw guilt set deep in the eyes of her parents. The potential thought of losing their only biological child combined with the pain that they weren’t able to protect her, and the years Willa hid her own pain and fear from them was tormenting them.

 He wanted to be angry with them. How could they be so clueless, and unknowing about their daughter's life and marriage? Never questioning the distance she placed between them for so many years. The how’s and whys may never be answered to him. Her life had just restarted, she had done everything right…

 And he could be losing her.

 ~*~*~*~*~*

 Tom paced the floor of the small but private waiting room.  Willa was still in surgery, and he still had no idea of the extent of her injuries.  It was all he could do to contain his anger, his fear, the want to rage into an uncontrolled monster.

 His deep and troubled concentration was interrupted by a light knock on the door. Hoping for a doctor or a nurse for an update, he was taken aback by Alastair’s presence. “I know I’m the last person you wish to see, but if I could speak to you outside for a moment, Thomas.”

 The older man looked distraught, like he hadn’t slept in weeks that the trauma his son had caused was wearing him thin. Tom stepped out into the hall.  Alastair was an ally, and his appearance reminded Tom that he was. “What can I help you with, Alastair?”

 “Have you heard anything on Willa?”

 Tom shook his head. “They’ve been slow to update us on things right now.”

 Alastair wrung his hands. “I just saw Jack, and he’s not expected to live through the day I want to feel grief, yet that’s the furthest emotion I have right now.  Grief was when I lost his mother, when I recognized the torment and pain he had been causing his family, the man that’s standing in front of me, that loves Willa and my granddaughter so unconditionally…” His voice cracked and tears welled in his eyes. “I did my best, Thomas. I thought forcing them apart…”

 Tom felt the pain emanating from the man and placed a hand his shoulder; they all needed to be united in this. “We all did what we could, Alastair.”  

 “You’ll be free of him soon, Thomas. No more torment, no more pain. I hope you three can heal and be the loving family that I know Willa so desired.  I just hope you can find it in your hearts to forgive me for raising such a monster. I don’t know what I did wrong…”

 Tom stopped him, he knew Alastair was sincere and that he too was feeling overwhelming anger. “We’ll all need time to heal.”

 Alastair sighed. “He’s asked for you. I told him I’d tell you. You needn’t go; he deserves the loneliness and pain in his final hours.”  

 Tom felt his stomach twist. The thought of seeing Jack and speaking to him in his final hours sickened him. “I’ll give it some thought.” Was all he could answer.

 The older man nodded. “Please let me know how Willa’s doing, and thank you, Thomas, for loving both her and Molly. She’s all I have left. Be the best father you can to her.”

 He shook Tom’s hand firmly, forced his lips into a pained smile and walked away.

 He pondered the request in the hall for some time. Johanna stepped out when she realized he hadn’t come back in. She saw the look of troubled thought on his face, so deep he didn’t recognize that she had sat by him. “Is he gone?”

 Tom shook his head, Jo’s voice bringing him back to the reality before him. “No, not yet. He’s requesting me.”

 “To pull the plug I hope?”

 He smiled, Jo’s tenacity would help keep his strength. “He’s got mere hours if not minutes left.  I’m not sure if he wants to be acrid in his final moments or apologetic.”

 “Shall I go with you?” she offered. “Moral support if anything. Or I could help finish the job.”

 Tom chuckled under his breath, thankful the bit of humor. “I guess I should honour his last request. Although if he starts with the animosity, I won’t humor him with that benediction.”  

 The sound of the machines keeping Jack alive broke the sterile atmosphere of the ICU room he was being cared for in.  Tom swallowed, knowing it would only be a matter of time that Willa would soon be up here, healing from the injuries she sustained from the man who lay dying before him.

 “My plan backfired.” Jack’s voice was unnatural, a hoarseness that Tom hadn’t heard before; death creeping in.  

 “I’m glad it did,” Tom replied. “I’ll gladly trade your life for hers any day.”  

 Jack laughed, a weak dying laugh that was followed with a wet cough as Tom sat in the chair close to his bed. “I confessed to everything. Trying to kill her, the years of violence. I deserve this death.”

 “What are you getting at, Jack? Is there something you want to say to me?”  Tom didn’t want a sob story or any chance of his apology.

 Jack wheezed, his breath coming in short bursts, “I hated her. I can’t tell you why.  Jealousy, maybe, but I just got to a point where I hated her.”

 “Then why did you not let her go, Jack? Why abuse her?”

 Jack closed his eyes, the action hinting at remorse. “Because I was obsessed with her. It was me or nobody.  When I found out she was with you, I couldn’t allow that.” Tom felt the anger well up within him as Jack continued. “She fancied you in Uni. She never said anything. I just knew. Then I saw her happy.  She was so miserable, and obedient with me, and it thrilled me that I had so much power over her. I can’t explain it. I wanted...I needed her to still be obedient to me. I needed that control, like a kicked dog. I hated seeing her happy.”

 “What did she do to deserve it, Jack?”

 Jack expelled another cough and a shuddered breath. “She was beautiful and kind. And everyone loved her. It drove me crazy.  The more attention she got, the worse I abused her. I thought...I thought she was sleeping around behind my back. Or I would imagine her doing it. She had no enemies. And it drove me crazy. I have no excuse.”  

 Tom inhaled and stood up, the smell of bleach and blood rancid in his nose. “Are you in pain?” The question was sneered. Tom’s teeth gnashed together in repugnance, holding the sick in his throat.

 Jack closed his eyes and nodded, unable to answer Tom’s simple question.

 “There’s no amount of pain you will feel in your hour of death that will ever amount to what she endured.  There’s nothing, Jack that will reciprocate the fear and cowardice you displayed towards her. The raping, the beating, and the years she feared for her life. The years she feared for Molly’s life.  I wish you nothing but agony in your final moments. For Willa’s and Molly’s sake.  For your father and mother’s sake. That your life is drawn out longer, and more painful by the moment, for them. And I will pick up their pieces.  I will tell you Jack, that I love her. I love Willa with all my being, and no amount of torture you could possibly muster could ever damage that.” Tom’s clenched fist dug deep into the palm of his hand, spit formed at the corner of his mouth as he seethed. There was no calming him now. “You tried to break her, Jack, and you didn’t. She fought back… both her AND Molly. They fought back and were rewarded with love. And here you lay dying, and soon you’ll be nothing but a bad dream, forgotten, burned and buried like your body will be. And they will thrive. While you’ll be nothing but ash.”

 Jack’s stare held Tom’s as his pulse grew weaker. “You win, Hiddleston. You always do.”

 “I have a wife and daughter that need my attention,” Tom said, ensuring his intentions with Willa and Molly as he turned to the door. “I hope you find Hell accommodating.”

 Jo was waiting outside the room, and was taken aback from the disgusted look on Tom’s face. His brows furrowed and cheeks flushed with anger. Apprehensive with his stance, her words were soft and gentle. “Don’t give him any more of your energy, Tom.  Willa needs all you have.  She’s out of surgery, she’s critical, but stable.  They’ll be bringing her up here soon.”  

 Tom ran his hands down his face, trying to wipe the negative energy away. “Have you seen her?”

 Jo shook her head. “Esther is in with the nurses getting you privileges. They have everything around her locked tight, and since you aren’t technically family _yet_.  And she needs you more than any of us could give her right now.”

 Tom took Jo in his arms and exhaled. “She needs us all, not just me.”

 “Is he dead?”

 Tom shook his head, “No, but it won’t be long.”

 “Did he offer you closure?”

 “My closure will be having her home, healing and being Willa. She’s alive and fighting, and to me she’s already winning the battle.” A bevy of nurses rushed by them and into Jack’s ICU room. Tom placed his arm around Johanna’s shoulder and led her down to the nurse’s station where Esther was standing. “We’ll all soon have peace.”

 Adrenaline replaced the weariness as Tom sat with the surgeon that repaired Willa. Esther had named him as a main caretaker, so he readied himself to hear the extent of her injuries. They both sat in the small meeting room with him to talk about Willa’s injuries and the plan for her recovery. He swallowed the fear as the surgeon described how tough she was and that she had been a fighter from the start.  His Willa, it didn’t surprise him.  

 He started with the internal injuries, the lacerated kidney and punctured liver that were sustained by blows to her belly. The cracked and broken ribs which collapsed a lung as she tried to escape. Her hands and feet would require additional surgeries.  He had her bound tightly to the bed frame, the lack of circulation and tendon damage along with sprains, a broken bone, and nerve damage were evident. There were numerous cuts and bruises, and some of her fingernails were gone from fighting back. He had given her a concussion when he hit her with the rock, and he had choked her at one point so they were concerned with swelling on her brain. The surgeon had paused at one point and looked at Tom, and swallowed hard before he continued, “This is never easy to say, but there is evidence of sexual assault. No semen was found; he apparently used his fingers or another object.  She was bleeding heavily, and required sutures but she should heal fine-physically.” He felt Esther’s hand squeeze his. She was a retired nurse, she had seen these injuries before and he was sure she never imagined them on her daughter. “We have her in a medicated coma. We want her to heal the next few days without interruption. We’ll then decide the appropriate time to wean her off the sedation. She’s in a great deal of discomfort, which is why we chose to sedate her. Physically we expect a full recovery. She’ll need some additional surgeries, and, of course, continued psychiatric care is recommended.”

 Tom nodded. “She’s been working with one. I’ll bring her in when Willa’s ready.”

 The surgeon offered his prayers and well wishes, and left Esther and Tom alone in the room. “I’ll go inform the family. You should go see your daughter.”

 Esther offered him a smile. “We’re entirely grateful for you, Tom, her father and I. For both Willa and Molly. I could never thank you enough for loving both my girls, and saving them.”

 He smiled back at her, exhaustion settling into his bones, knowing that even the mostly positive prognosis was nothing to feel good about. “Go. She needs you.”

 *~*~*~*~*

 " _Blackbird singing in the dead of night_

_Take these broken wings and learn to fly_

_All your life_

_You were only waiting for this moment to arise... “_

 Esther’s voice was soft and comforting, singing to her daughter as Willa slept deeply in her medicated state. Tom listened outside the door of Willa’s room as her mother continued to fluff pillows and adjust blankets around her, singing the fabled Beatles song as a lullaby.  It brought him comfort, the song in this moment had more meaning than he could fathom.

 Willa would fly.  

 He quietly entered, and Esther offered him another smile. “I think she’s quite comfortable until I bring in some of her own blankets. She’s probably thinking I need to shush up.”

 Tom chuckled. “I think she’s actually enjoying it.”

 Esther smiled and took his hand. “You’re being kind. I’ll leave you alone with her. It’s been my experience that patients do hear you, so talk to her. She would probably love to hear your voice.”

 He nodded as she hugged him. “I will.”

 She closed the door quietly, leaving him alone with the unrecognizable woman he loved.  He inhaled sharply, heart racing at the sight of her. Her face was bruised, and swollen, and part of her hair had been shaved to suture the head wound she had received. Tubes and wires were connected to her to maintain her simplest human needs.  Her hands were casted roughly, the tips of her fingers peeking out, cleaned, and he noticed the missing fingernails.  He could only imagine what lay under the blanket, hidden from his view.  

 He sat in the chair near her bed and stared at her. He watched each breath she took and listened to each beep of the heart monitor. He ached, wanting to take her place, to feel her pain, anything to make it so that it wasn’t her lying there.

 He reached out and touched a finger that wasn’t cast or bandaged. The touch of her skin, warm and oddly lifeless, overwhelmed him.  He cleared his throat of the emotion that bubbled. He had to be strong for her, weakness could wait for later.

 “Oh my gorgeous girl.” He sighed, his finger gently stroking hers. “There are no words to even begin to say how proud I am of you. Of how strong and brave you are. Of how much I love you. I know you’re in there, and I need you to clear your head.  I need you to take this time, and allow your body to heal. I need you to focus on yourself.  I know this will be hard, Willa.  I need you to be as selfish as you can possibly be.  I have everything in control out here, I need you to take your time and heal. And come back to me, to us, so we can be that family.

I love you with all my heart, Wills. And I am so proud of you.  You’ll be free of him soon, we all will. You fought him, and you won. I’m so proud of you.  And I love you with all my heart!” Tom’s voice broke, unable to control the sob that was building. “You’ve made me a better man; you’ve made me a father, and I love you.  I need you to know how much I do, how much you mean to me. You’re my heart, Willa, both you and Molly, my gorgeous girls.  Come back to me.” Tears fell openly, and Tom knew she would recover physically, any scar she would carry on her body would never bother him. It was the unknown that hit him at his core. Would she fear him? Would this end their relationship? And the selfish thoughts of if she would ever forgive him, and would she ever love him like she had hammered in his brain in an unrelenting manner. His fingers were still so gentle on hers; the feel of her skin on his was the only thing keeping his sanity and anger in check. He cleared his throat again, anything to regain his composure. “Wherever this leads us, Willa, I will always be here. Always. I am in this for a lifetime. Unconditionally. You are my heart. I need you to know how much I love you, and I am here for you, always.”

 Her breathing remained unchanged, lost in a deep realm of sleep. He wondered if Esther was correct in her assumption that she could hear him. There was no movement, no acknowledgement. He leaned in to her, to her face that wasn’t entirely hers.  He looked at her closely, the eyelashes that gently rested on her cheek, the lip that was split from force still had the semblance of the cupid's bow he so cherished; she was there and she would heal.  He leaned in to her ear, careful of the bandages, wires, and tubes and kissed her temple gently. “I love you, my gorgeous, strong, brave girl. I love you like the earth loves the rain, and the flower loves the sun. I crave your love with an insatiable hunger, Willa. You are my breath and my joy. My soul and my being. You are my everything.  I love you.”

 He kissed her again, her warmth under his lips as he lingered on her temple giving him the sustenance he desperately needed.  He sat back in the chair, his fingers never leaving hers, and he watched her, the peace between them growing.

 The tickle on his ring finger left him breathless.  The minute movement as she caressed his finger back took him by surprise and elated him in the same instance. He watched her, slow movement back and forth, his eyes feasting on her reaction to him.

 “This wanker loves you incredibly, you gorgeous girl,” He whispered as he caressed her fingers in return, using her endearment for him, knowing that’s what she was calling him in her mind. “This love will know no bound.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	18. Chapter Seventeen

Chapter Seventeen 

The motion of gentle circles on her back drew Willa from the clutch of the nightmare. She opened her eyes slowly, taking in deep breaths and reacquainting herself with the familiar surroundings of her bedroom.

The motion continued and she relished in the comforting touch, and she reeled back in the emotion that welled in her being. Another deep breath and she shook, the fear releasing itself as coherence tooks its place. 

“Just a dream. He’s gone,” she whispered as a reminder as the circles on her back stopped and now began to stroke her shoulder. “He’s gone.” A few more deep breaths to ease the anxiety and cease the arrival of the self depreciating thought that she had let him in again. “Tom?” 

The kiss on her shoulder gave her more comfort and she exhaled the remaining fear. “I’m right here, love.” His simple reply in his calming deep tone relaxed her more. He always waited until she got her bearings to speak, always gently drawing her from the chaos her mind still evoked. Some nights she fell right back to sleep, others like this moment now, she asked for him. He felt her relax again under his touch and he heard her sniffle, signalling the emotional release, “You’re alright, Wills. You’re here with me.” 

She was facing away from him, curled on her side that eased the pain from the rib fractures that were still healing. His heart pained as she sobbed, unable to embrace her the way he wanted. He scrambled from the sheets and was quickly by her side. He gently sat next to her, careful not to shift the bed too much. One of his hands joined hers and the other tried to tuck a rogue lock back behind her ear. His fingers lingered on her temple, gently tracing the new scar from the healing wound, and then wiped the tear that fell from the corner of her eye, “Sorry, now that I’ve really woken you,” she muttered, a hint of guilt to her tone. 

He clicked his tongue, “You know that’s never an issue, Willa. Are you comfortable? Do you need anything?” 

Willa sighed, happy he was so willing and helpful and at the same time frustrated that she was helpless and that the nightmares continued. “Help me sit up?” 

Gently he adjusted the many pillows behind and around her, and eased her into a sitting position. He watched as she took several deep breaths and coughed as her lungs also adjusted to the new position, damning Jack in his death for causing her so much discomfort, wishing they could get past this roadblock in their lives. 

“Thank you,” she said, eyes diverting from his either from embarrassment or guilt. “I’m alright Tom, you can go back to sleep now.” 

He smiled and tucked a finger under her chin, forcing her eyes back to his, “I plan to keep you company, whether we talk or sit here in silence.” He leaned over her and kissed her forehead. Willa closed her eyes, cherishing the feel of his lips on her skin. 

“Tom really, I’m fine.” The voice of frustration slipped its tone into her words and she quickly diverted her eyes again. 

He raised his brow; he knew her all too well and wasn’t about to give in to her request of solitude. Her frustration meant that she needed him. “There’s obviously something on your mind. Talk to me love.” She bit her lip as it quivered. He could see the emotion welling inside of her; a breaking point was being reached. “Willa.” 

The tears welled in her eyes as she tried to hold back from opening up to him. It had been nearly two months from that horrible day in late November. Two months of healing, nightmares and pain. Two months that saw a holiday, and a new year. Two months that saw a highly successful theatre run, and Tom burning the candle at both ends. 

“I don’t know.” She clumsily wiped a tear with a casted hand, not knowing if she could add more to what he was already carrying for her. 

He gently placed his hand on her knee, his thumb replicating the calming circles he had made on her back moments earlier, “Willa, I’m not going to push you to talk about that day, but the way you’re diverting from me clearly shows there’s something on your mind, and I have a feeling it’s me. We both know that talking heals, and holding back hinders. Either way, I’m right here for you.” 

She felt foolish. Foolish for thinking the way she was, for letting the one thing that Jack still said strongly in her mind: “He’s going to leave you.” She glanced at Tom and quickly diverted her eyes again, embarrassed at what she saw, the guilt bubbling deep in her belly. His eyes showed deep concern, love and compassion, far from the hostility her nightmares were leading her to believe. 

“You wouldn’t understand. These are my demons, Tom, and I need to get past them.” 

He kissed her forehead and got up from the bed. She watched as he poured a glass of water from the pitcher that was on her bedside table. His silence frightened her, that she offended him when all he did was love and support her. He held the glass for her, a straw to help her sip as her hands were still casted and clumsy. She sipped, the coolness calming her throat that was still healing from the chokeholds. 

Tom knew her injuries. He quickly learned from Esther how to care, treat and assist Willa when she needed it. He took care of both her and Molly, hardly missing any time from the theatre. He not once complained when either her or Molly woke in the middle of the night terrified by their dreams. He changed bandages, washed her hair, comforted and nursed...and it was beginning to anger her. 

“What good is a fight with demons, Wills, if you haven’t an ally?” 

She sighed, and felt his eyes on her, that same kind and gentle gaze full of nothing but love for her. Willa’s heart raced as Jack’s voice once again rang loud and clear in her mind, “He’s going to leave you, whore.” 

“Tom please! Just got back to sleep!” 

His brows raised, the stress and pain in her voice evident as her frustration peaked. He was worried, and remembered his promise that he wasn’t going to push. He sighed deeply, and squeezed her knee tenderly. “Very well.” He leaned in to kiss her lips and she turned away, her cheeks flushed with anger. 

“I’m sorry,” she eked out, “I’m sorry.” Concern edged on his face, as she began to sob. “I’m so sorry; for everything.” 

“Willa.” He leaned in to her, gently hovering over her, “Please. Talk to me.” 

She turned her head, “I’m sorry” still uttering from her lips in rapid succession. 

“Willa.” She was breaking down quickly and he fought his will to take her in his arms, longing to calm her. “It’s alright, love.” 

She shook her head, “I’m so sorry, Tom. For everything. For all of this.” 

He knitted his brows together, not understanding what she was meaning. “Wills, sorry for what? I don’t understand.” 

“If I had listened. If I had just followed instructions instead of being my careless self, this would never had happened. In my selfishness I hurt so many. I’m so sorry.” 

He was finally beginning to understand her thought process. Her supposed defiance was what allowed Jack to kidnap her. Allowed him to brutally beat her. Allowed Jack to nearly kill her. He thought for a moment, knowing that it wasn’t defiance. It was her need to breathe, her independence. Willa was not one to seek help. She felt uncomfortable when people made a big deal of things about her, which was why she stayed with Jack for so long. It was her problem and she had to deal with it. She needed that moment alone, to deal with everything that was being dealt to her. 

“Willa, I need you to understand me. If you hadn’t have left the house, we may have been dealing with a much worse fate. There’s no reason not to think that Jack would have entered the house and murdered you, Emma, Molly and my mother. He had the weapons in his vehicle, he had a plan. He saw you alone and he took you instead. Your subconscious knew what it was doing. You were protecting those that you love.” 

The sob shook her, which followed with a quiet whine as it pained her ribs. He could see her fists clench into her casts, fingertips turning white. Tom would always turn it towards the positive and find the ray of sunshine on the cloudiest day. It was blinding her and Willa saw nothing but red, “It’s my fault. I deserve all this pain and I don’t deserve you.” 

“Willa.” 

“No. It’s not fair. You tried to protect me. You and the detectives told me what I needed to do to keep safe. And-and-and now you and Luke have to spin press not only to protect you and your career, but to protect me. Something that should be private is now a public matter, and people want to know! I’m not stupid, Tom. I hear the ramblings from Johanna and you, about what people are saying and what they think, that you need to keep the bad press away from me. I’ve put you in this predicament and it’s not fair to you. Suddenly Tom Hiddleston has this girlfriend who has a child, and her ex-husband nearly kills her. In the prime of your career. You deserve better, Tom. So much better.” 

“What I deserve is YOU.” His words came out harsh and she flinched, her face red and tear stained yet her eyes still harbored the anger. “Don’t you dare tell me Willa that I should choose my career over loving you and Molly. What happened was a travesty, Willa, and dammit we tried to keep you safe. You tried to keep you safe. It fucking happened, and I would give anything to turn back the clock to ensure it wouldn’t. But I can’t, Willa. You can’t. We’ll all heal, and he’s dead. He died a painful lonely death, that not even his father went to his side. And let those people speak ill. Let them! They don’t know how much you fought, they don’t know our story, YOUR Story!” 

He could see the rage clearly on her face, and his own guilt welled for raising his voice to her. Yes, they had been keeping press, letters and emails that weren’t a source of positivity, and nearly anything else having to do with her attack away from her at her therapist’s request. Tom opposed this, knowing that sheltering her would increase her frustration, and he was correct. 

“A travesty,” she said, the glare of frustration fierce in her eyes. “The last ten years of my life has been a fucking travesty. Too afraid, too naive, too complacent to do anything but to take the abuse. They call me ‘lucky.’ Lucky I lived, lucky that I have you, lucky that I’ve been ‘rescued’ by a knight in shining armour.” She looked down at her hands and the healing wounds that still marred her ankles, “I don’t feel lucky. I feel so helpless and lost. I’ve been secluded and I feel like I have been locked away while I deal with this. That he’s still in my mind, that you won’t touch me again, that you think I’m broken, and the glue that’s holding me together is cheap and I’ll shatter at any moment.” 

“You’re cracking now, Willa.” His tone was monotonous. He wanted her to yell, to vent the frustration that had been building. “But you’re far from broken. Broken was the woman in Regent’s Park a year ago. Broken was the woman that wouldn’t stand and fight back. Broken is far from what’s sitting here with me. Mending, yes. We’re all mending and we look at life a little differently now. Like the sand, Willa.” 

She glanced at him as he made her recall her epiphany on the beach. Only days from when Jack would kidnap and nearly kill her, when neither of of them anticipated what would eventually happen. 

“This is just a grain of time that we will all learn from as it slips through our fingers. If we compress that sand and hold it tight it will become glass that can potentially shatter. If we let it blow away in the breeze, take what’s happened and grow from it, we’ll finally be free.” 

 

She hiccupped a sob, and he took a tissue and blotted the tears that stained her cheeks. “Now as for me not touching you. There’s nothing more in this moment, and any moment that you’re with me, that I long to make love to you. Love you the way you should be loved. You’re my heart and my soul, Willa. Nothing in the world can change that for me.” 

Her mind raced back to the last time they made love. The anxiety attack that rocked her, his patience with her, and more guilt bubbled inside. She turned her face away from him. Anger, guilt, the remnants of the nightmare that rocked her mind. Why was she breaking now? She had dealt with the injuries, the pain and the seclusion. She had therapies, for herself, Molly and the family. She dealt with Molly’s anxieties and fears before tackling her own. She had quieted Emma’s blame of herself for letting it happen. And Tom realized, Willa had been taking care of everything and everyone else first, and whatever happened in her nightmare had pushed her to her limit. The stoic and strong woman needed the emotional release that she never allowed herself. 

Willa was breaking. 

And she needed too. 

The sob shook her, the emotions of rage, sadness, and frustration hitting her all at once, and she finally reached for him. He gently wrapped his arms around her, in their first real solid embrace since the attack. He breathed her in, the familiar light floral scent that was explicitly Willa, the curve of her body to his comforting to him as it was to her. 

“How can anyone look at me and not see my past, Tom? How can they? I let this happen for eight years and had a child before Alastair finally saw what was happening and moved him from the situation. And I wanted him back. I wanted him back so bad, Tom. That somehow if I was more obedient, and accepted the punishment that it would all work out, and that we’d be this happy family. Even at the divorce hearing, two years after separating, I tried, I plead. I begged him to reconsider. Tom, how can you love me, when I am so shallow and weak? When I couldn’t even differentiate what love and pain was? How am I supposed to parent my daughter, to ensure that this doesn’t happen to her? I grew up in a very loving and open home, who’s to say this won’t happen to Molly? How, if I decide to help women who are battered find a safe haven, how will they trust me knowing that I let this happen to me?” 

He kissed her hair, his fingers entwining in the locks as he held her close, “You’re selling yourself short, Willa.” He had to select his words carefully, and he prayed for the guidance that whatever he said would comfort her, and lead her to discontinue the guilt that enveloped her. “Jack was a charming man. He could make friends with anyone, and had all of us believing that he was this great and decent person. He was also controlling. I saw that on the field when we played. He was a hothead with an ill temper. There were times when I saw him try to control you and you’d put him in his place and I saw that glare in his eyes at you. He controlled you with fear, Willa. He took things, and parts of your life away, using threats and violence to keep you in line. It was all oblivious to me then, Willa. If I had known, if I acted on the fear that I saw in your eyes when we danced at your wedding," he paused, a knot growing in his throat as he recalled her face that night thinking it was only cold feet. "We can’t live in the past, Willa. We can learn from it, and ignore those that chose to assume or try to validate your reasoning for staying with him so long. And yes, I know the relationship with me has strained your recovery with the media, and I'm so sorry for that, and it wasn’t our intention to seclude you. We poorly thought that you’d had enough, and that should have been your decision to make. The press will try to dig, and they have. Luke has been very efficient on keeping your story in as much positive light as he can. There may be a time that you do chose to tell it, and what matters is…” he squeezed her gently feeling his tear soaked t-shirt against his skin, and he kissed her hair again. “Is that you can tell your story when so many others in abusive relationships cannot. While there may be some that will admonish you and your decisions, so many more will look to your counsel for support, that they too can remove themselves from the abuse. We can work together to raise a strong and independent child and break this cycle to ensure Molly grows to have safe and healthy relationships, and if by chance it does happen to her, regardless of whatever her partner threats, we will help her remove herself from that." 

Willa had began to settle, she wasn’t as rigid against him. “You are so loved, Willa Elizabeth Morgan.” 

She sighed against him as she stifled the sob that welled in her chest, “Even with all he’s done to me, you love me?” 

“Yes,” Tom answered without hesitation, “Always.” 

“You’ll love me like this?” 

“At your worst and your best.” 

She was quiet for a moment, her fingers played with the hem of his shirt as she listened to the metronome of his heartbeat against her ear, satisfied with his answers. He nuzzled her, content and blissful to be holding her in his arms. She pulled away from him, enough to see his eyes. Those endearing blue eyes held his truth, which she never doubted yet needed the reassurance. Her casted right hand, reached up and her fingertips caressed his cheek and he leaned in to her touch. So simple and electrifying. Her lip curled into a half smile, not nearly as forced as they had been. She kissed him chastely on the lips, and brushed her thumb over them to seal it, “Tom, I think I'm ready to face the world. Slowly." 

"One step at a time, and I'll be next to you with each one," he replied. "You're not alone. Ever.” 

She yawned and gave him another drowsy smile, a broader one set on her lips. He helped her lean back, adjusted her pillows and kissed her forehead. He slipped in beside her, and she allowed him to spoon himself to her. He nuzzled her neck and she emitted a soft giggle, music to his ears. "No. I'm not alone," she said sleepily, her hands resting on his. "And this girl has a lot of fight left in her."


	19. Regent's Park - Chapter Eighteen

Regent’s Park - Chapter Eighteen 

Most nights, Tom spent an hour or more greeting fans that waited outside of the theatre in the cold and mist of the London winter. He talked, took their kind words of support for both him and Willa, signed autographs and took pictures, always grateful for the following he had. That was most nights. 

Then there were nights that he just wanted to be home as quick as humanly possible. Time was borrowed, loudly clicking away the seconds that he would have to leave. Another filming on location, another few months away from home and this time was different. He had Willa and Molly now, both mending from the sins of the past, and he worried. His mind raced with the thoughts of his “girls” as he made his way home. The same thoughts every night ran rampant. The accoster was gone. Jack was dead and would no longer physically harm them, and Tom would be leaving them with the best support system, yet he worried deeply about their safety and recovery. He and Willa discussed in detail about his leaving. The role came suddenly, and had great potential with it. His career was flourishing, and she understood and supported him. There wasn’t any time to find a rental home, a school for Molly, doctors for Willa’s injuries and counselors for them both. Willa insisted it would be good for Molly, to learn that separation with Tom was normal. It would be good for both of them to focus on healing and rehabilitation. 

Willa of course was beginning to open up more to him. She was leaving the house more, and even spent an evening out, taking in his performance. He recalled her sitting in the theatre, beautiful, glowing and at peace, watching him. And he had never been so nervous in his life. Her eyes glued to him, as he changed into a character completely opposite of himself. She was flanked by Johanna, Luke and Emma; supporting her as well as him. Those that had recognized her, offered their own support. When they all went out to a late dinner she was relaxed, smiling, and so very proud of him. His heart nearly exploded with pride for her. 

Molly on the other hand still struggled with her emotions and was not handling his scheduled departure well. As resilient as she was, Molly had a hard time wrapping her mind around the chaos her father caused. She was loaded with questions, now more than ever. Incessantly asking if Tom loved her and Willa. If he would ever hurt them in ways Jack did, and if he would leave forever. Each time he would take the time out to explain to her that he loved them both with all his heart, and the only time he would leave would be for work, and that visits home and to see him would be made. Her little hand always squeezing his for assurance, his gently squeezing hers back to acknowledge. It was their own little sign of acquiescence, that little squeeze that comforted and settled her. To Molly; it was all about the little things. 

She was Regent’s Park - Chapter Eighteen 

Most nights, Tom spent an hour or more greeting fans that waited outside of the theatre in the cold and mist of the London winter. He talked, took their kind words of support for both him and Willa, signed autographs and took pictures, always grateful for the following he had. That was most nights. 

Then there were nights that he just wanted to be home as quick as humanly possible. Time was borrowed, loudly clicking away the seconds that he would have to leave. Another filming on location, another few months away from home and this time was different. He had Willa and Molly now, both mending from the sins of the past, and he worried. His mind raced with the thoughts of his “girls” as he made his way home. The same thoughts every night ran rampant. The accoster was gone. Jack was dead and would no longer physically harm them, and Tom would be leaving them with the best support system, yet he worried deeply about their safety and recovery. He and Willa discussed in detail about his leaving. The role came suddenly, and had great potential with it. His career was flourishing, and she understood and supported him. There wasn’t any time to find a rental home, a school for Molly, doctors for Willa’s injuries and counselors for them both. Willa insisted it would be good for Molly, to learn that separation with Tom was normal. It would be good for both of them to focus on healing and rehabilitation. 

Willa of course was beginning to open up more to him. She was leaving the house more, and even spent an evening out, taking in his performance. He recalled her sitting in the theatre, beautiful, glowing and at peace, watching him. And he had never been so nervous in his life. Her eyes glued to him, as he changed into a character completely opposite of himself. She was flanked by Johanna, Luke and Emma; supporting her as well as him. Those that had recognized her, offered their own support. When they all went out to a late dinner she was relaxed, smiling, and so very proud of him. His heart nearly exploded with pride for her. 

Molly on the other hand still struggled with her emotions and was not handling his scheduled departure well. As resilient as she was, Molly had a hard time wrapping her mind around the chaos her father caused. She was loaded with questions, now more than ever. Incessantly asking if Tom loved her and Willa. If he would ever hurt them in ways Jack did, and if he would leave forever. Each time he would take the time out to explain to her that he loved them both with all his heart, and the only time he would leave would be for work, and that visits home and to see him would be made. Her little hand always squeezing his for assurance, his gently squeezing hers back to acknowledge. It was their own little sign of acquiescence, that little squeeze that comforted and settled her. To Molly; it was all about the little things. 

She was his little girl, and he smiled at the thought. He had always wanted to be a father, find the right woman and settle down, start a family. Never in his wildest dreams did he think that that child would find him, rekindling an old friendship; one that he had wished he had acted more upon back in University. He cleared his throat knowing if he had pursued Willa then, things would be different. There’d be no Molly, and even perhaps no Willa. They were two completely different people now, compared to how they were in their youth. Perhaps this was how it was meant to be, facing life for those years in order to obtain the unconditional love they had for each other. He couldn’t question the “What if’s”, even as he watched and aided them both as they recovered. He couldn’t change the past, yet he had their future and he was content and excited to be a part of it. 

He tipped the driver and stepped out into the rainy night. The rain made leaving the theatre easier, it sometimes made him uncomfortable that people would wait for him in inclement weather. He had his mind made up early and informed his handlers that he wouldn’t be doing a meet and greet that evening, to tell his devoted fans that he was sorry and to please go home where it was warm and dry.   
The house lights were dim as he entered the foyer, typical when he arrived home at night. Willa and Molly retiring to bed, Johanna in the process of moving into his old flat bit by bit left the house quiet. Tom poured himself a dram of whisky, sorted through a small pile of letters then made his way up the stairs. 

The glow from Molly’s fairy lights highlighted her sweet sleeping face. Tom sighed, pleased that she looked content and happy, deep in the confines of a restful slumber, no turmoil written on her young face. The doll which never left her presence was clutched tightly to her chest, and her lips parted as she drew in deep breaths, the cherubic profile of her cheeks the last remnant of the baby she once was. He drew her blankets to her shoulder, tucking her in, and kissed her forehead brushing the hair that fell in her face back. She squirmed a bit and her blue eyes fluttered open. 

“Hi Daddy,” she spoke in a heavily sleepy, yet coherent tone. His heart pounded against his chest, as she had never called him ‘Daddy’ before. He swallowed the emotion that immediately welled in his throat, and he felt tears gather at the corner of his eyes. 

“Hi Sweet Pea. I didn’t mean to wake you. Go back to sleep and we’ll talk in the morning,” he said in a whisper, leaning in to kiss her hair again. 

She smiled up at him and snuggled under her blankets, “Okay Daddy, love you.” She yawned, holding tight to her doll. 

He quietly cleared his throat, the emotion lined thick. “I love you too, Molly.” 

Tom watched her for a moment as she settled back into slumber, the look of peace and contentment still evident. His mind wrapping around how once again this child had changed his life so quickly, so efficiently, so lovingly. He brushed a tear that fell from his eye as he still savored the moment, her sweet voice, repeating those syllables over in his mind. And he felt like he could fly. 

A deep breath and feeling chuffed, he lingered his way down the hall to the bedroom he shared with Willa. The camera bag was open on the bed, and Willa was sitting in her chair with her laptop open. The sight added more elation to his evening. She had taken photos, and he could see that she was editing. A sense of normalcy washed over him, a sense that things were slipping back into place as they once were before being thrust into chaos. Hello my gorgeous girl.” He greeted as he moved toward her, “I see you’ve been busy tonight.” 

She had seen him enter the room from the corner of her eye and smiled, the smile that he had grown accustom to for months before Jack wiped it away. “I have,” she said proudly, “Molly and I did a little photoshoot before the rain.” He looked over her shoulder at the black and white picture of Molly standing on the bridge in Regent’s. Willa had added fairies around her, and Molly was looking up in delight as if she really was surrounded by them. “I thought I would add in her friends.” 

Tom leaned in and kissed her, his lips lingering on hers. “She’s going to love it.” 

“I think so too, ‘Daddy’.” She could barely stop the giggle as the word left her lips, and held up the room monitor they had been using, in case Molly had been struggling in her sleep. 

“So you heard,” his face flushed, a mix of pride and the unknown. 

She nodded as she closed the laptop and placed it on the table next to her. “Every beautiful word. She hadn’t been alluding to it. That was pure honesty from her. It’s very evident how much she loves you, Tom.”

He sighed and sat in the chair with her, and was again surprised when Willa curled up to him. He wrapped his arms around her, taking in her clean floral scent and the feel of her silken pajamas cool against his arm. “So you’re okay with this?” He felt his heart racing beneath his chest and he hoped that Willa didn’t feel it. He of course wanted to marry her, and adopt Molly; the next morning if by some fleeting chance she would allowed it. Yet he also wanted to allow them the time to heal, and in the same course continue to form the family dynamic with the three of them. He never wanted to assume the role of “father”, although in his heart and mind he knew he was. 

“I think the question should be, are you okay with it?” She laced her fingers with his and snuggled into him, “I mean, it’s open to discussion. I know it’s a subject that has been placed on the shelf for the moment. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable if she does call you that. We can always correct her until it’s appropriate, or perhaps persuade her to call you something else, until or if our relationship changes?” 

His eyes grew wide, and he knew Willa was having the same thought he had soon after Molly’s tiny confession. He kissed her hair, and squeezed her gently enjoying the warm comfort of her body against him, “Willa, I heard her say that word and as insane as it may sound, I felt like a gift had been given to me. This amazing world just opened up and I’ve been invited in. It’s Molly’s comfort that it’s all about, not mine, I’ve been comfortable with her since day one. She’s granted me pure trust and love, something I am honored and flat out gobsmacked by. There’s going to be several incredibly happy days in my life, in our life; yet right now that word, in her sweet little sleepy voice is repeating itself in my mind, and I’m here with you in my arms and I can’t remember when I have ever felt so on top of the world in my life.” 

Willa smiled, and moved herself so that she could easily kiss his lips. His smile stretched from ear to ear, and she saw the tears glisten in his eyes. She cupped his face, her thumbs catching the tiny droplets that clung to his lashes and said, “Congratulations, Daddy. It’s a girl.” 

Tom swallowed hard and laughed at his emotion, “So this is what it’s like, becoming a parent?” 

She nodded, “That wonderful euphoric feeling mixed with fear that you could do everything wrong? Yes.” 

He kissed her, his hands framing her face bringing her eyes to his, the sheer joy gleaming in his eyes, “I promise you, Willa, that I will be the best father to her. That long after that piece of paper is granted and you both carry my name, I will love you both unconditionally.” 

“Don’t promise me. Promise her. You have my heart, and she’s now fully given you hers.” 

“I am a very lucky man,” he whispered into her lips. There were no regrets of his leaving the theatre directly, the universe made sure he knew that. 

“Hmmm,” she agreed, “Luck, or love we are not short of either.” 

“We most certainly are not.” he replied, then kissed her. The close proximity of her intoxicating him. He breathed her in and adjusted to settle himself. Recovery was on her terms, and by her needs. They shared counseling together and he had even gone a couple times on his own, to assist his own recovery, and to learn more about what Willa had went through and what he needed to do to help her.   
He was patient. He loved her, and he was in this recovery with her. The lost intimacy over the last couple of months would only be a small fraction of time in their life together. He knew only what she told him, of what she remembered when Jack took her. She told him that Jack had every intention to brutally rape her, assaulted her with his fingers during a mutual session, and that she had used her love for Tom to allude Jack from the rape. It was then that Jack went into his jealous rage and inflicted the most damage to her. She spoke of his assault and what he had tried to do. Her voice never wavered as she told Tom how sacred she held their sex life, and that she did whatever possible, even if it meant the severity of the beating she took, to keep him from taking that from her. “You’ve shown me what love is about, showed me pleasure, he wasn’t going to take that from us.” She had offered her truth, her hands wringing with anxiety and uncertainty.   
It was a lot for him to digest, what she had endured in that room, and in her years with Jack all coming to a front. Willa had recently begun allowing him to touch her without a flinching response, knowing this major intimate hurdle lay before both of them. 

“I love you,” she said, noticing that he was deep in thought. “Are you still with me, wanker?” Her tone and demeanor was playful. 

He missed this part of her, “Wanker, eh?” He gently tickled her, still careful of her ribs, surgical scar, and anxiety. 

She giggled, and her hands splayed across his chest feeling the hard muscle underneath. “Yes, “she laughed, moving against his tickling. “Who else puts up with my horrible cooking and my affection for Mr. Bean?” She kissed him passionately and deeply, Tom unsure of how to react, and where to put his hands. He remembered the counselor's suggestion of ‘follow her lead’ and kissed her back, with just as much passion. 

“Your cooking is far from horrible,” his voice was thick with lust, and his heart raced with nervousness. “And your Mr. Bean fascination makes me love you even more.”

She smirked, “Wanker.” 

The endearment for him lightened his heart just as much as Molly’s confession. “Your wanker,” his senses heightened, aroused and in tune with every fiber of Willa. Listening for any sound of disapproval, any inclination that she would pull away, any vocalization of the word ‘no’. He let his hand slip under her camisole and she hissed at the touch, the type of hiss that begged for more, that assured him she approved. 

Willa cupped his face, her fingers dancing on the lines of his cheekbones as he kissed her again, allowing his hand to cup her breast. She deepened the kiss as his palm brushed her nipple, her little sigh into his mouth and touching her again was enough to bring him to insanity, ‘gentle and slow,’ he reminded himself, ‘her terms.’ 

She leaned into his touch, and he felt her skin erupt in gooseflesh. He breathed her in, as her kisses trailed from his chin to his neck, “I want you, Tom. I need you. Please.” 

He wasn’t going to question her surety and risk offending her. He quickly stood up, and she laughed lightly at the sight of his arousal. He scooped her up, their eyes locking with an unsaid agreeance that she was in control. “I love you, Wills,” his tone endearing and honest as he placed her on the bed. He smiled, trying to hide the thoughts that raced in his mind, to touch her, taste her, be inside of her, to hear her call his name in passion, he wanted it all at once. 

She slipped off her camisole, and he let his eyes feast on her. He saw the little changes, her health returning as her curves returned, the healing wounds, and the scar on her abdomen from her surgery to repair internal wounds, her now uncasted hands. She was Willa, and the love she had for him was unchanged. 

“Touch me,” she whispered, understanding his hesitation. When he didn’t hesitate after her request, it calmed her nerves. Her hands tugged on his jumper, and he slipped it over his head. It was a first time all over again. His lean muscles from his workouts, the definition of his arms and chest made her breathless as he wrapped his arms around her, skin against skin, and pulled her into another kiss.   
“I may never stop,” he said, as his kisses trailed down her neck, her breathing quickened as he gently lay her back on the mattress. 

He wanted to kiss every inch of her body, to reacquaint himself with her and she seemed to acknowledge his plan. She wanted it slow too, to allow her mind to recall the pleasure, to remember the feel of his fingers on her, to allow her mind to realize it was Tom and his touch meant love. 

She shivered beneath him, nerves getting the best of her. His eyes met hers as he felt her tremor, and she nodded, “It’s okay.” 

His kiss stayed gentle, loving, and set her mind at ease. He laced his fingers with hers, as he let his lips trail down her neck to her breast. His hands danced lightly on her skin. Soft and gentle touches along her arms and waist, nipples, reacquainting her with his touch. She gasped when his hands brushed her abdomen, along the surgical scar. He paused as she stiffened, gauging her response. 

“It’s me, love,” he said softly as his kisses followed where his fingers had been as a reminder, to keep her focused on him. 

“I know,” her response was soft, a bit of uncertainty in her tone.  
His fingers and lips continued their exploration of her belly, “Do you want me to stop?” 

Willa exhaled and ran her fingers through his hair. She brushed his cheek, and he kissed her palm. Her eyes locked on his, “No. Don’t stop.” 

“Don’t be afraid to tell me, Willa. It’s alright.” His touch trailed to her inner thighs, and they immediately tightened together, her breathing quickened, almost panicked. His hands stopped their travels and she calmed. 

“It’s okay. Just...” she took a few calming breaths and smiled at him, “I..I mean we need to get through this.” 

He brought himself up to her eye level and kissed her, “Together,” he said pulling her close to him. “I will never, ever hurt you, Willa.” 

She smiled at him as his fingers once again travelled to her waist and played with the band of pajama shorts. He slipped his fingers under, and her skin erupted in gooseflesh once more. Her eyes sought out his, his lips close to hers as his fingers crawled to her sex. She closed her eyes, her breathing quick with the dual anxiety of promised pleasure and fear as one of his fingers slipped into the folds of her center. She stiffened again reaching for him, her hand flattening against his chest not as a push but as a cushion, as acceptance of his touch and a longing for more. 

“Tom, please,” she whispered into his mouth as he began to manipulate her. She fought to push Jack’s assault out of her mind, to give in to the pleasure Tom was giving her. 

He watched her. Her demeanor, any sign of fear or heightened panic she showed him; he would stop. Her eyes remained closed, concentrating on what his fingers were doing, slowly beginning to relax. 

He watched her face change, relaxing from a concentrated panic to the throes of pleasure as her hips thrust to meet his fingers' rhythm, slowly beginning to enjoy his intimate touch again.   
She opened her eyes, and her now lustful gaze set upon his. Her quick breathing now only caused by his ministrations. His lips grazed hers as she longed for his mouth on hers. She moaned into his kiss, as her hips bucked against his hand, his name escaping her lips in a passionate sigh. 

Her climax brought tears. Tears of release and passion, tears of regained intimacy with her lover. “I love you.” Her sniffled words and tear stained cheeks held tight in his chest as his arms tightened around her. 

“I love you too,” he said with a half laugh to swallow his own emotion, as his thumb collected the tears on her cheeks. The powerful moment between them of re connection and complete adulation, the trust and bond between them deep and unbreakable. “Are you alright?” 

She kissed him then smiled brightly, the smile that melted his heart nearly every time she flashed it. A giggle elicited from her belly as she rolled on top of him, “Oy, I just got fingered by Tom Hiddleston and you’re asking if I’m alright? You clearly are a wanker, aren’t you?” 

His laugh rumbled underneath her as she grabbed his hands and leaned in for another kiss, “And you’re a minx, my love.”

She cocked an eyebrow at him and his choice of endearment, and laughed, “Only for you, and I have missed you having your way with me.” 

He flipped her gently, and straddled her, happy to see this side of Willa again, knowing that they still had bumpy roads and roadblocks ahead of them as she mended. He thought for a moment as he looked into her smiling eyes, her hair that spilled around the pillow, and wondered if there was life before her. If there was, he couldn’t remember it nor did he want too. He leaned in and kissed her, and felt her smile on his lips. “What on Earth could you be thinking about right now?” she asked, the sass in her voice making him chuckle. 

He raised his eyebrows and grinned at her mischievously, “Oh, only which way to have you first, my gorgeous girl.” 

She wiggled her hips beneath him, “Well then, the night is only so long, Hiddleston. You best get on with it.” 

“Minx.” 

“Wanker.” 

He leaned in and nibbled the skin at the apex of her neck and shoulder as she arched into his kiss. “I’ve missed you so much, my gorgeous girl.”


	20. Hearts Dance - A Regent's Park One Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little New years eve fluff

Hearts Dance - A Regent’s Park One-Shot

With an early show completed, a quick meet and greet with fans, and several invitations to revel in the New Year with friends turned down, Tom had only one thing in mind this New Year's Eve; celebrate the new beginning with Willa. 

He had conjured a plan, and he had help at home to make it happen. He had texted Johanna the details, hoping she could make at least some of the things his mind conjured up happen before she left for her own parties. It was all set into motion. 

There was no other perfect way to ring in the New Year. 

*~*~*~* 

Willa woke from a late nap. The medications she took made her drowsy, and the pain from her healing injuries still flared enough at times to make her take them. It was dark in her room, par for the dim night light, and she knew it was evening. She looked at her clock, cursed herself for sleeping so late, and heaved a sigh; it was New Year's Eve. She had given Tom the green light to revel with friends. Not that he needed her permission, although he had been a prime caretaker for her since the assault. She wanted him to go out, he needed a break and that she would most likely retire early and wouldn’t be great company. 

He nodded, appreciating her sentiment when she told him, knowing he (well they, if she was up to it) had several invites to choose from. “I’ll call from the theatre,” he had assured, “when I decide what I want to do.” 

“Next year, things will be very different.” she reminded him, “We’ll dance the night away.” 

She had tucked her feet underneath her blanket when she said that. Embarrassed and pained by the injuries to her feet. They made it difficult for her to stand and to walk for any great length of time; Tom would often carry her down the stairs before he left, and if she hadn’t hobbled her way up before he returned, he would carry her back up to bed.   
His hand rested gently on her ankle which he knew was red and sore from the healing wounds, and smiled at her, “From dusk until dawn, my love.” 

Willa checked her phone, and other than a couple of random texts from her mother, who was keeping Molly for the night and Johanna, letting her know that there were some sandwiches in the cooler by her bedside and to have a happy new year, there were no phone calls. She let out another sigh, as she turned on the light and clumsily sat herself up in bed.   
She turned on the television and began to scroll through channels, trying to decide if she wanted to watch local coverage of the night’s festivities or settle in with a movie and ignore the fact that she was alone; happy, but alone. 

Willa grabbed a sandwich out of the cooler and smiled that Johanna had placed a bottle of champagne along with her evening supplies.   
“Always thinking ahead, Jo.” she said with a smile, “Granted, I am not sure I can pop this open on my own with these damn hands.” 

She settled on a Rowan Atkinson marathon, knowing that Mr Bean would keep her mind from drifting and wanting to be ringing in the New Year with loved ones. Sandwich, a fizzy drink that wasn’t champagne, and biscuits at the ready, Willa focused her attention on the telly and was hoping that Tom got caught up in the deserved revelry and simply forgot to call. 

Dozing of off again, the pain medication still making her groggy, she was startled awake, when a kiss on her forehead woke her up. Clearly expecting no one to be home, Willa calmed quickly when she realized Tom was attached to those lips. 

“Sorry love, didn’t mean to startle you.” he said as he sat down, his finger caressing her cheek. 

Her surprised look didn’t wane, “I thought you’d be out with Ben or with the cast. You need a night out.” 

He chuckled, amused with her push for him to leave, keeping the thrill of her returning independence within him, “Honestly love, what I need is a night alone with you. And there’s no other person I wish to ring in the new year with and all that it holds for us.” 

“Tom…” she began to argue and he kissed her lips silent. 

“Willa…” he replied, “There’s no other place in the world that would make me happier.” 

She shrugged and smiled, “Alright it’s me and Mr Bean, if that’s what you prefer.” He laughed again and his eyes sparkled; the signal to her that he was up to something, “What’s up your sleeve, Thomas.” 

Knowing he couldn’t keep his excitement contained about his evening plans much longer, he chuckled again under his breath and “Not that I mind the competition with dear Rowan, but I have something a touch more festive in mind.” He went to her oversized chair and removed the blanket, “You’ll need this, it’s not really cold, but there’s a chill.” 

“We’re going outside?” she asked, as he wrapped her, then lifted her in his arms. 

“Where else will we see the fireworks?” 

He gently carried her up the small staircase and out onto the deck, where Johanna had turned on the twinkling lights, noisemakers, fun New Year’s decor, had set up glasses for both wine and champagne, and a small selection of puddings, along with a thermos sitting on a warmer, “When did she…?” 

“While you were napping. She said your feet were giving you trouble today, and you got upset about it.. I had her set this up.” 

“I hope that didn’t sway your decision!” she said, and he could hear the guilt settle in her voice. 

“This was my idea all along. There’s no way on earth I could or would ever think of leaving you alone tonight.” 

Willa felt the emotion grow in her throat, and quickly swallowed it down. This was life now. Effortless, loving and supportive. “Hopeless romantic.” she said as he gently set her down on the chaise, and placed another blanket on her. 

“Guilty as charged.” 

He made sure she was comfortable then turned on the playlist of soft romantic songs he had quickly made for the evening. He then prepared her a small plate of biscuits and handed her a mug of hot chocolate with extra marshmallow and then made one for himself. He joined her on the chaise and gently snuggled up to her. He clinked his mug to hers and kissed her temple, “Here’s to us, love. To a new year filled with adventure, learning, love and healing.” 

“Cheers.” 

They snuggled for a bit feeling the cool breeze on their faces as they, watched the neighbors fireworks displays and the London Skyline enjoying each others company and listening to the parties that went on around them. The night was full of delight, shouts, laughter and music could be heard from the pubs, open windows and other rooftop parties. Willa cozied up closer to him, as they talked about his evening performance, and Molly’s new school she would be starting, Small talk that he was grateful to be having with her, general life, in his mind the simple things were glorious and would never be taken for granted.

Tom kept aware of the time,checking his watch every other minute, and as it grew close to midnight he removed himself from her side, tucked her in warmly and went for the bottle of champagne. 

“We have so much to celebrate.” he said as the parties in the street grew louder. “Our love, your life, our lives together from this point on. With everything we’ve been through these past months, I’ve never been more excited to face a new year. With you, with Molly. Together.” 

The crowd below counted down in unison “3-2-1...HAPPY NEW YEAR!!” 

Tom leaned in for a chaste kiss as he popped the champagne, and poured both him and Willa a glass. Somewhere in the distance “Auld Lange Syne” could be heard, and the revelers sang along with it. 

Tears filled Willa’s eyes. This new life ahead of her, the turn of a new year, the commitment of a dedicated partner filled her with emotion and she suddenly felt pain free and on top of the world, “Can we dance?” 

There was a moment’s hesitation as he knew that her feet were troubling her, but he accepted her request. He helped her up, the blankets falling to the chaise, leaving her in her nightgown and he held her strongly in his arms. He worried as her socked feet hit the floor,about her ribs, her hands, the chilly air, or any other injury that he could possibly worsen; and only subsiding only when she locked her arms around his waist, and rested her head on his chest. He slowly swayed, kissing her hair as he did, the warm feeling of her against him and the floral scent of her hair causing all time to stop. 

It was just the two of them, slow dancing after midnight as fireworks lit up the sky. The sounds of the new year surrounding them; music, colourful explosions, raucous cheers, church bells, and both were lost in each other's embrace. The past, was officially the past. Time was all theirs now. 

“Thank you for this.” her soft voice muffled in his chest, he felt the dampness of her tears as she spoke. 

“Willa I love the time I spend with you. I love you.” 

She wobbled on her feet as she reached for her champagne glass, and she raised her flute to him “And I love you. Happy New Year, Tom.” 

“Happy New Year, my gorgeous girl.” 

They clinked their flutes and sipped the bubbly beverage, their eyes never breaking their gaze. 

“It’s only three minutes in and you’ve already made my year, wanker.” 

He chuckled and pulled her gently closer to him, “This wanker hopes to do that 364 more times at the very least,” he kissed her forehead once again breathing her in, “and a million more times if you allow.” 

She rolled her eyes and offered him a laugh and a smile, “Goodness you truly are hopeless, you amazing man. Let’s finish with this one? I want a lifetime to worry about the rest.” 

Her wit and humor had been returning and he wanted to waltz her across that rooftop with elation instead he slow danced her back to the chaise and gently sat her down, “If a lifetime dancing with you is my gift for living, then I accept that challenge.” 

“Hopeless.” she giggled, and kissed his cheek as he once again covered her with a blanket. 

“Hopeless wanker.” he reminded her, as  
he set himself next to her “Happy New Year, Wills. Just like our dances, We’ve had our first, and we’ve not seen our last.” 

She nestled herself against him, warming up from the chilly night. The crowds grew quiet, and the music stopped, but there on that rooftop two hearts danced the night away.


	21. Chapter Nineteen

Giant flower arrangements filled the foyer making it nearly impassable. Willa stared wide-eyed; the peonies and roses of all different colors with their sweet intoxicating scents were almost as overwhelming at the letter that came attached to it. 

Willa looked at the letter from the film’s director again. Disdain was evident on her face, yet the apology contained within it was heartfelt. 

“The producers have asked that we begin filming two weeks early. It breaks my heart to pull Tom away from you any earlier than needed, so please understand this wasn’t my decision.” 

“Well, he does have a way with an apology,” Tom said, touching a petal of a pink peony then applying a kiss to Willa’s forehead. 

Willa swallowed, feeling the inner turmoil of anxiety begin to churn inside her, that relentless battle beginning. With Tom’s career, these things could happen regardless of whatever was happening in their lives. “I need to get used to this.” 

He took her in his arms feeling guilty, “We can reschedule the holiday.” 

She sniffed the arrangements, finding that the soft scents did not comfort her mind at all. She knew she only had five days. The number screamed loudly in her conscious; five days left with Tom before he went across the ocean to Canada to film, five days to wrench out the chaos in her mind, five days to prepare Molly for his departure, five days to satiate her needs. She hitched her breath as another realization consumed her, “My counselor will be gone too,” her voice was matter-of-fact, and nearly robotic as her thoughts, now chaotic, were distressing her. 

“I’ll have Luke make some calls…” 

His inherent need to please her heightened the spiral, the panic, anxiety and depression that she was fighting to keep stable were spinning out of control, “Tom, no.” She walked past him into the kitchen and put the kettle on. Tea. She needed tea. Tea would fix everything. 

“Willa, I can see if I can rearrange my leaving a few days later.” 

She shook her head, beginning to lose all ability to control the panic attack, “Tom, really. I appreciate the sentiment, but no.” 

She felt herself shake and she struggled to catch her breath, the anxiety overwhelming her. The perfect little bubble of having him home was going to burst sooner than she had expected. The holiday they had been planning was now only a thought. Everything turned upside down, and it finally overwhelmed her senses. “Willa, you’re shaking.”

She bit her lip, embarrassed by what her mind was outwardly showing. “I’m fine,” she lied. 

“Let me make a few phone calls...” 

“NO!” her hand slammed down on the counter, rage now joining the panic as he continued to coddle her. She yelped as she aggravated the injury that was still healing.

He knew these outbursts; the panic attacks that were an unfortunate side effect of the assault. He stared at her, a pang of guilt stabbed his heart as he didn’t know if he should console her or leave her alone. WIlla babied her hand, a soft sob escaping her and she turned her back to him, “Wills.” 

She waved him off, unable to look at him. She hated this feeling, the irrational thoughts and fears that plagued her mind since the attacks; the anxiety that overwhelmed her; the little things that grew into monstrous disasters; her own guilt setting in quickly for her errant behavior. 

“Is there another counselor...who can fill in for yours?” He was still trying to help her rationalize, grabbing at straws, anything to help her calm down and feel better. 

The anxiety attack along with Tom’s insistence to cater to her was too much to handle. Escaping was her only resort. “I-I-I need a minute.” Unable to catch her breath, and afraid of the backlash from Tom, she hobbled past him up the stairs and shut the bedroom door. 

She curled herself up on the bed, the tears hot on her cheeks. Her mind raced, trying as hard as she might to rationalize her thoughts and slow her breathing. This was life now. It was only two weeks difference. This wasn’t a big deal. The anxiety attack grew, and she wondered if she should take the medicine that had been prescribed for her. 

The irrational thought plagued her mind. He was leaving to work. A whole ocean of separation. Freedom from her and Molly. Freedom from the chaos he had endured for several months. There would be other women. She knew of the plethora of fans that followed him, that regardless of knowing what she had been through, sent innuendo to him through mail, email, social media; one had even tried to slip panties into his coat pocket after his performance. The thoughts repeated themselves, growing increasingly more inane. 

Would he stray? The codependent anxiety attack continued to build. 

Jack had strayed; yet she was worthless and useless to him. He’d never loved her. 

Tom loved her, and made sure she knew that every chance he got. 

She was doing everything in her power to rationalize her thoughts, and it began to feel futile. Her hands shook and her chest pounded as she eyed the small bottle on her nightstand. She picked it up, popped the top, and shook out a tablet. “This isn’t a failure,” she assured herself, a mantra her counselor drilled into her brain, “This is my mind sorting out the love from hate.” Tom had been her rock, her foundation, her light during her recovery and healing. He’d handled both her and Molly’s breakdowns as well as dealing with his own recovery and work schedule with pure chivalry. 

 

Her mind repeated her last thought and she remembered her independence, and how proud she had been of it. She recalled the pride she’d had in her work, and the house she’d bought and remodeled on her own. Taking on being a single parent, and not batting an eye, the pride she’d had escaping an abusive marriage. 

“I’ve lost myself,” she murmured, her voice quiet with this realization. “I love him with all my heart, but I have lost who I’ve worked so hard to become.” 

She focused on her breathing, allowing the medication to assist with settling her thoughts, giving her mind the permission it needed to calm itself. She closed her eyes, the vision of her loved ones and peaceful hues filled her mind's-eye, finally feeling a truce between the irrational and rational thoughts. 

Willa stepped from the bed and stood in front of the full length mirror in a corner of the bedroom and studied herself. Her face had changed; a scar had formed close to her left eye and her hair had surpassed the soft peach fuzz of growing back. She pulled her shoulders back and lifted her chin eliminating the nervous, meek form she had become and was struggling to overcome. She lifted her shirt to show the scar on her belly from the surgery that had saved her life, still red as it healed. She looked down at her swollen feet, and wondered if she would ever run with Tom. Walking still hurt, the muscle and tendon damage taking long to heal from the extremely tight bonds. 

She stripped down and stared at her naked form. Marked and marred, still healing wounds that would eventually leave their scars and the marks from Molly’s birth all evident on her belly. Her hair hung limp, desperately needing a trim (maybe that short hair cut that she had been contemplating), and her eyes still sometimes lacked that luster they had once had, although they seemed lively today. She exhaled, and watched as her belly, soft and slightly rounded followed suit of her lungs. She poked at her belly and her breasts, taking in their shape. She quieted the demeaning voice of her late tormenter, and forced a smile. 

Tom never once complained, never once forced her to eat less or work out with him; he loved her as she was. He had made love to her at her fittest, at her thinnest, and now with her limited activity he had loved her at her fullest, kissing every curve that accentuated her body. 

“This will all be okay.” she said to herself pulling a breast up to it’s perky state, finally feeling the peace in her mind, “You will find yourself again, and his leaving will be okay. This was meant to be. Calm yourself, Willa.” 

She didn’t hear the bedroom door click as it opened and closed, but she saw his shadow reflected in the mirror and wondered how much he had seen or heard of the conversation she’d had with herself. He put the cup of tea down on her table and she stayed frozen, fully naked in front of the mirror. Her heart was still racing with anxiety as he stepped behind her. He slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her toward him, his large hand splayed across her belly and his lips ghosted against her neck; his other hand took her injured fingers and brushed them with his lips, “Talk to me, gorgeous girl.” 

She swallowed hard as his hand cupped her breast, its nipple hardening in his palm; his tongue and teeth licking and biting at the nape of her neck. Willa trembled, overwhelmed with the touch and his passion. “I-I-I can’t,” came her breathless reply, goosebumps raised on her skin as he continued his gentle dominance of her. 

He turned her to face him, and she diverted her eyes, afraid and ashamed of what her mind had done earlier, “Then let me remind you.” He gently pulled her hair to turn her eyes to his, “And assure your mind that you have my heart.” 

His lips were forceful, as he walked her backward to the bed, her knees hitting the mattress behind her causing her to fall back onto it. He was strong with her, and cautious; her eyes were wide as he eased her back onto the bed, and crawled on top of her. She was naked and vulnerable, and the anxiety she was still fighting was making her shake. 

He kissed her, gentle and sweet as he shifted his weight off her, straddling her hips as he stared down at her, concern flooding his eyes, “Do you want me to stop?” 

Her chest heaved, unable to take a breath and Willa was not entirely sure if it was his doing, or her own mind’s. His finger traced a line from her neck to her navel, and she felt desire flutter in her belly. “No,” she said, finally allowing her lips to curl into an apprehensive smile. 

His lips found her neck again, and nibbled the skin at the apex of her shoulder; her breath hitched, as his hand trailed to her thighs, spreading her legs. He laughed as a finger slipped into her folds, her readiness for him apparent. He was gentle with her, as he had been since their reconnection. Apprehension was always evident with certain touches and positions, his awareness of her wellbeing was heightened. He watched her for a moment, gauging. He made a point to always start with his fingers gently fondling, his own assurance that she was okay with his advances. She surprised him as she sat back up, adjusting herself on his hand as he played and began to ride him, “I need you,” she barely moaned into his mouth as she pushed him back down on the bed. He easily complied, hands rested on her hips, as she ground against him. “Now,” she demanded as her hands quickly unbuckled his belt and undid his pants. He chuckled as she scrambled with pulling his pants over his hips, taking both them and his boxers together. He felt her grip his cock and within seconds he was sheathed within her. 

“Oh God,” he growled, not giving any more thought to Willa turning the table and her spontaneous seduction of him. He thrust as she ground harder, the sound of their flesh loud as their bodies united. He adjusted, wrapping his arms around her as he sat up, quickening his pace as he felt her constriction around him, and his climax coming fast. She cried out his name as he grabbed her bottom thrusting hard into her, her orgasm followed by his was just as powerful. She collapsed against him nestling her head at the crook of his neck and shoulder, panting as she still slowly rode his softening cock still burrowed inside her. 

He pulled away exposing her lips, and kissed her deeply as her hands cupped his face. She broke the kiss gently as she removed herself from his lap, and stared into his eyes, “I love you. And I’ll admit I’m afraid of the distance. I’m afraid of your love scenes, and I’m afraid of the unknown. I know you love me, and it’s not fair to you that I have these insecurities, and I should stop laying the blame on who caused them and work on correcting them because you love me, and that in itself should be all that matters. And I may be a fool for saying this, I just want to be open with you. I know you aren’t “him”, I know you wouldn’t do the things “he” did ever, and I’m rambling because this is truly the first time I have been faced with this in our relationship, and I know once this is behind us and I’m in a much better place in mind and body, I won’t be so damn insecure and codependent. I feel like such a child.” 

He smiled at her then chastely kissed her lips, “If we can’t admit our fears to the ones we love, then who can we admit them to? You aren’t a fool or a child Willa, and I respect your fears and your anxiety about my leaving and my work. I want you comfortable with what I do, which is why I include you in meetings with my co-stars about those certain scenes. I also want you to remember that I am committed to you and Molly. I would never do anything to jeopardize that. You’re healing and you’re mending and I would be the fool if I played on those emotions.” 

Willa ran her thumbs over his cheeks, “I wonder when I will realize that you are real. That this is real. When will I realize that you won’t hit me, or berate me, or use me? Why won’t my mind let me see how much you love me? I have this beautiful man, so patient with everything that I have gone through. And I want to give you one hundred percent of myself, and I can’t. I’m still so afraid to let all my walls down.”. 

For the first time, Tom had to play the actor to her and hide the sting Willa’s words had applied to his heart. Her words and honesty pained him some, yet they were honest and he could tell the difficulty she had saying them, and he shielded their bite from her as he tucked a stray hair behind her ear, and offered her a smile. This was the part of recovery she had to do on her own. That every day more trust was built; with him, with her family and honestly men in general. He saw her unease when she met with his male friends, how she sized them up, held back and gauged their personality. It was something his friends didn’t notice, but he saw it, her mind quick with the approval process, allowing her to open up and enjoy the company. 

His thoughts then went to the ring he had hidden. A ring that he had discussed with her father before he purchased it; he'd asked for his approval; a ring he had bought before the assault had happened and life had changed. He had planned to ask for her hand around the holidays, and that plan had drastically changed. It was then that he'd understood the time she needed. He'd realized that a commitment of engagement wasn’t what she needed, but his commitment to her meant more than a ring or a wedding would at this time, “I am not going anywhere, and I want you to realize that. When I am away, I am still a part of this. Your healing, Molly’s healing. I am not going to forget about everything that occurred and leave you dealing with this all on your own.” 

She grabbed a blanket from the bed and covered herself, “Maybe the separation will be good for me, for us? I’m not the person you fell in love with Tom…” 

He interrupted her, “You ARE the person I fell in love with Willa. Good or bad, my feelings for you have never changed.” 

She kissed him when she saw the turmoil in his eyes, “I know. I know. I love you, Tom, and you have been my greatest ally in this, and I could never tell you that enough. All that I am saying is that I could really use this time apart to focus on me, that’s all. While I will miss this, your love and constant support, I need to be that independent person I had become.” 

He exhaled, thankful that the conversation wasn’t taking the turn it had a few months ago, “Well then, I suppose I get to annoy you all I can for five more days.”

“Annoy?” she furrowed her brows. “I can think of several things you can do to me other than annoy.” 

“Name one?” he said as his hand slipped under the blanket, his palm rough against her nipple. 

She gasped at the sensation and let the blanket fall around her. Comfortable with the situation, she smirked and leaned into his touch, “Fuck me.” 

Thrilled with her reply he growled as he lay her back on the bed, “With pleasure.” 

*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Willa fiddled with her skirt as she took her seat in the first class section of the airplane. She was anxious, the kind of anxious that made her belly flip-flop and her heart flutter with excitement. She was on her way to see Tom and after nearly eight weeks apart; she had the same feeling she’d had when he had taken her out on their first date those many months ago. 

The first couple of weeks had been hard, a major adjustment for them both, and mostly for Willa. It had taken a few days to get used to the lack of his presence, but she’d adhered to the plan she had devised. 

She had returned to work. On an abbreviated schedule and with extended deadlines because of her hands, she’d had her first sessions since the assault. They were simple sessions, and although Dior and her other high-end clients were chomping at the bit for her return, Johanna had insisted Willa’s clientele keep their demands unrushed. The rush Willa felt as she walked into the studio was healing and invigorating. Creative control was once again at her fingertips. Tom had fully supported her return to her craft and his excitement had only ignited that fire even more. 

She smiled to herself as she thought of him. The separation was trying, and she hoped that this would be the longest they would be separated for quite some time. She grinned, as she recalled the barre and yoga classes with Johanna which had helped her healing and physical therapy. She was regaining strength in her hands and feet which she still had trouble with; numbness and lost feeling were still an issue and the possibility of more surgeries always lingered. She wiggled her fingers and her toes; all was fine with them now and she hoped the improvement would continue as she wanted to spend as much time as she could with Tom, and not ailing and recovering from her injuries. It was her birthday and he was being secretive with any plans he had made, “I’m going to ensure you have a wonderful time, darling.” 

“I’ll be with you, so it doesn’t matter what we do. We can lie around in bed all day and that is good enough for me,” was her reply.  
“Ehehehe, I couldn’t agree more. We’ll have a great time for your birthday. I promise you.” 

Injuries and strengthening aside, there had been personal growth too, for both her and Molly. They had begun support groups for survivors of domestic violence along with their counseling. Molly also was given a therapy dog to assist her with her anxiety. The dog, a Pembroke Welsh Corgi, was a perfect match for Molly. She had dubbed him “Winter” to help her through her “tough season” as she put it. Winter shared Molly’s high energy and sweet nature, and was her constant shadow. He was trained to sense her anxiety and the attacks that would sometimes paralyze her, and would seek out the human that Molly was with to notify them of her situation. He woke her during nightmares, and offered her calm and companionship which was a bonus after Tom had left for work. Winter also gave Molly the responsibility of feeding and caring for her friend, something which she loved.

Willa put good use to the weeks of his absence, instead of allowing the depression to consume her. She fought back, knowing that if it did consume her, it would mean Jack had won. She had her moments and bad day, as her recovery would be a trial for some time. Tom was her biggest supporter, making daily calls and sending messages taking full advantage of texting and Skype. Molly received nightly bedtime stories, which Tom always made sure to do even if it was night shoot. The Skype chats sometimes took on a whole different level with their missing intimacy. Sometimes his voice, deep and brooding, would do the job for her when they spoke, often times intimately and explicitly. She adjusted in her seat as she recalled the late night chats, and couldn’t wait to feel his touch again. Willa exhaled and settled in for the long flight, the excited feeling taking over as she would soon be reunited with him.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

He was warm, and his scent enveloped her like a favourite blanket as he wrapped himself around her. She was home, and it didn’t matter if home was in Toronto Canada or Regent’s Park. She allowed herself to get lost in him for a mere moment, before his kiss pulled her from the trance he had placed her under. 

“You alright, love?” he asked, a hint of laughter to his voice. 

“I’m in your arms. I’ve never been better,” she replied, then breathed him in once more. 

He laughed as he held her close to him, “I’ve missed you too. You look stunning, love,” he said as he touched her shorter hair (not too short, she had reminded the hairdresser, just short enough to help her hair grow back in better). “I love it.” 

“You’re too kind,” she said as she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him. 

He cupped her face in his hands and studied her. Her face was full and free of the cuts and bruises that once marred her skin. With the exception of the scar that rested near her eye “You look healthy, Willa. Your glow is back.” 

“I’m working on it,” she said as he began to lead her toward the baggage claim where a driver waiting. 

He grabbed her suitcase off the turn style and handed it off to the driver. “We’re all works in progress, love,” he said as they made their way to the car, “And to me, you are the best project.” 

 

Enamored by the hotel, as staying in suites was something still entirely new to her, Tom watched Willa as she went room to room, amazed by the decor and view. While she had traveled with her parents, Jack had hardly taken her anywhere, and when he did, he’d always put her in standard room while he took a suite, “he had to work and entertain,” he would say. 

She knelt on a window chair and pressed her hands to the glass as she stared out at the city of Toronto, which twinkled in the darkness. “It’s so beautiful up here.” 

He laid her jumper on the back of a chair, and feasted on her presence. Her feet wiggled in delight, her hair sat just at her shoulders, and he noticed how defined she had become while they were separated. Her legs looked stronger, her body looked as if it had finally found its healthy weight, and her curves remained. She glanced back at him as she felt his eyes upon her. She smirked, and wiggled her bottom, “Distracted?” she asked in a low sultry voice that snapped him from his stare. 

Tom began to walk slowly towards her, undoing his tie as he walked, his voice deep and resonating, “There’s this gorgeous girl in my line of sight. One that I’ve missed, one that I’ve been only able to touch in my dreams, one that I haven’t had the ability to pleasure for far too long. Yes, I am very distracted. This woman in front of me is far more beautiful than anything I have ever laid eyes on.” 

Willa held back a laugh,turning to face him and taking in his compliment and complete adoration of her. “Oh you dear man, you don’t have to be so complimentary to get fucked.” 

He laughed as he closed the gap, wrapping his arms around her, “Who said I was being complimentary, when I am clearly speaking the truth?” 

She fit her hand through the strained buttons of his shirt, the feel of his warm skin giving goosebumps of her own as he inhaled sharply, pulling her so close she could feel him hardening against her, “I take it you’ve missed me?” 

He reached down and squeezed her bum, and ground against her, “Your voice, your laugh, your scent, your being, your bum; to say I’ve missed you is a severe understatement.” 

She kissed his neck as she unbuttoned his shirt, her heart flying as he continued his honeyed assault on her ego. “You’ve missed my bum, have you?” 

He growled, “Immensely.” 

Willa continued to toy, reached down and touched the growing bulge and he hissed, “What if I told you it’s missed you too?” 

Tom had reached his breaking point and stood her to face the window, “Gorgeous girl, I’m going to take you right here, against this window, to show the world how much I’ve missed you.” He reached up and pulled her tights down with her panties, undid his pants then hiked up her skirt. In mere seconds he sank himself deep inside her, Willa’s hands splayed against the window; the city of Toronto lit up around them. 

The view, the feeling of him taking her from behind, the touch she had missed for all those weeks, and knowing that someone out in that vast city was watching him fuck her had her mind racing in a intoxicated frenzy, “Fuck Tom,” was all she could eek out. 

His took a hand and slipped it to her center, and she quivered against him as he stroked her clit. He paused for a moment, remembering everything she had gone through, noting that there was consent between them, the flirtatious, loving consent between them that had been broken for so long. He wanted to ask, to make sure she was alright with this; the sex, the visibility, his forcefulness. Willa grabbed his hand when she noticed he had stopped and ground it against her, “Don’t bloody stop!” she moaned, “God, Fuck!” 

He laughed, deep against her neck as he thrust himself deep. She moaned again, pressing herself against the window. “I’ve missed you my gorgeous girl. All of you.” 

“Make me scream, wanker!” she hissed. 

And he did. They both collapsed after they orgasmed in unison, falling back onto the window seat. She turned to face him, and kissed him deeply. “Happy Birthday, love,” he said as he embraced her. 

“It is a very, happy, birthday,” she said, “I feel that you’ve given me one of the best gifts that I could ever receive.” 

He kissed her temple, “It’s not a gift, it’s what I feel, and that, I promise you, is never ending.” 

She smiled, and chastely kissed his lips, “I know you love me. I will never doubt that. You’ve given me my life back.” 

He tucked her hair behind her ear, “No love,” he whispered into her lips, “You gave yourself that amazing gift, I only held your hand. This beautiful woman I hold here in my arms is one determined mother, friend, daughter and lover. Who’s taken back her life, and embraced it fully.” 

Willa laughed lightly giving what Tom had said some thought, “I have, haven’t I?” 

“Yes, my gorgeous girl, you have.” 

“You’ve helped make it worth it. Almost as if it was fate that Molly ran into you in Regent’s Park that day. That you were going to be a pivotal point in my life, be it friend or lover.” 

“Perhaps. Not to say you’ve not been a pivotal role in mine. I think we may have both needed each other at that very moment in time. Lost and pained souls, needing one to mend the other.” 

She stole another kiss, her fingers trailing down the sharp outline of his face, “My soul,” she said placing her hand on his heart, “Needs more of you.” 

“And mine needs you also, insatiably,” he replied as he stood up, scooping her up and carrying her the short distance to the bed, “Happy Birthday, Wills.”


	22. Chapter Twenty

Chapter 20 

Tom turned the corner of his final lap around Regent’s Park during his morning run. The London air had a coolness to it; the promise of a beautiful spring day ahead of him. It was quiet on the paths, a few souls out doing the same as he and taking advantage of the stillness. He ran, his feet beating the pavement in rhythm with the tune playing in his earbuds, long strides as the sun crept higher over the city. He couldn’t help but smile when he saw the bench. His heart beat a little faster, and a feeling of joy filled him every time he made a pass; he knew the spot by heart and would never forget it. The bench at the bottom of the shallow hill, that sat nestled under the shade of oak trees, the little bench that had witnessed a life changing event of a child enjoying the thrill of the ride, the beautiful clumsiness of youth, a reconnection of friends and the beginnings of what would be an incredible journey of true love. 

His shin ached, a psychosomatic symptom every time he passed, and he could always hear Molly’s giggle in his head. He also saw Willa’s drained features. A woman who had been through Hell, and had fought a battle he could never imagine. That woman who now, he assumed, was still sleeping in a bed they shared, warm and loved. 

He grinned, as the sun began to glare into his eyes, as he thought of Willa snuggled under the duvet. Molly and Winter had crept into the bed sometime after they had fallen asleep and were curled up at the foot of the bed. His life had changed, in the greatest way imaginable. 

He turned down the quiet street they lived on, the trees now nearly at full foliage cast long shadows on the sidewalk. Neighbors waved as he jogged past, slowing his pace as he remembered the walks home he’d had with Willa from the pub, not knowing if she would be willing to go on a date with him or wanting to take a chance on their friendship. Fond memories and ones he wished would vanish entered his mind. This little street and this little house had seen a lot in that short span of time. 

He walked the last few yards to the brick wall that adorned the front yard, to catch his breath and calm his legs. He checked his watch as he stretched; realised it was still early and knew that his girls would still be asleep. One thing that hadn’t changed was that Willa wasn't a morning person. She claimed she thought better in the quiet of the night, and he had kept her up later than her usual for good reason. Their lovemaking was exquisite as they had an insatiable need for each other. At one point he feared he had lost that aspect of her. The assault had caused that fear and through time, gentleness, touch, and trust, they had reclaimed that part of their relationship. 

Tom took a deep, settling breath as he opened the door. He would begin breakfast, which he knew would wake Molly, and she in turn would wake her mother. He pulled off his hoodie, toed off his shoes, and changed into the fresh t-shirt he kept by the door. The sound of cereal being poured into a bowl shocked him as he was still expecting a sleeping house, but the smiling Molly standing at the table set for a breakfast of cereal, milk, and juice settled him. 

She stood proudly before one empty bowl and two over-full bowls of Frosties, “I made us breakfast, Daddy!” 

There may never be a time when he would tire of her calling him that, “Well look at that! It’s magnificent, Molly!” 

Her smile was brilliant as his words of approval consumed her, “I knew you’d be hungry after your run.” She picked up the jug of milk and walked over to where he was about to sit. This was far from his normal healthy breakfast, but he wouldn’t change it for anything. 

“So what do we have?” he asked, heightening her excitement with his interest. 

She was still dressed in her pajamas, and her bed head was something to behold; the braid Willa had done before bedtime had escaped its confines and her curls were pleased with their freedom. “Frosties!’” her joy and pride culminating in one word as she brushed an errant wisp of hair from her face, “And juice!” 

There would be all the time in the world for a healthy breakfast, for this was all the nourishment he needed at the moment, “It’s perfect, Molly.” 

She lifted the milk jug to pour over his cereal; it was a bit too heavy for her she spilled on the table. He heard her breath quicken, the typical panic of a child seeing their efforts, in their eyes, ruined. “Oh no.” It was barely a mutter as Tom steadied her hand with one hand, and grabbed a napkin wiping up the spilled milk with the other. 

“It just got away from you, is all,” he comforted, “See, all cleaned up.” 

Her smile returned and he helped her pour the milk over her own cereal. She climbed onto her chair, Winter settling down under her, and the two began their breakfast. The giggles began as they began to converse; Molly was beginning to be an incredible storyteller and Tom was a great protagonist as he pulled more information from her, drawing her story out. She told him of her fairy friends, and how they helped Loki find the good in the world. 

“They helped show him that his brother truly loved him, even when he felt that no one did,” she said of her take on “Thor” between spoonful’s of cereal. 

Tom, gob smacked by the ideology that was just presented to him as he remembered her age, “Do you think he’d be able to see through his pain?” 

She nodded, “The fairies helped him that even though he thought that his father didn’t love him, there was someone that cared for him, even if it wasn’t his real mother and brother.” 

It hit him then that she was comparing the character he played to herself, “And you’re right Molly, Thor and Frigga do love him.” 

“Just like you love me?” she asked.

He leaned over and kissed her forehead and tucked an unruly curl behind her ear, “with all my heart.’ She smiled at him, happy with his answer, and returned to her cereal. 

Willa slowly made her way down the stairs, her feet stiff after the night of rest. She saw the two of them sitting together at the table, shoulder to shoulder, giggling, talking, and eating. A scene that still pulled at her heartstrings. Tom always made time for Molly, no matter what his schedule was. 

“Look at you two,” she said, “eating all the Frosties and saving none for me?” 

Molly shook her head, grabbed the box and gave it a shake, “No mommy! We saved you lots!” 

Willa made her way to the table, kissed her daughter then patted and smoothed her hair, then did the same with Tom, “Sugary cereal, love?” she asked, a laugh in her voice as she looked at the empty bowl in front him. 

He pulled her into his lap and kissed her again, the taste of the sweet cereal still on his lips, “The offer was too good to pass up.”   
Willa moved to the open chair next to Tom as Molly scrambled to ready the bowl of cereal for her mother. “I will agree. This is quite nice, Molls.” 

Molly once again stood with pride, as Tom got up, “Now Molly, I’ll show you how to make coffee.” 

Willa watched as Tom instructed Molly on how to measure out the scoops and how to check the water. Molly listened and watched intently, standing on her step stool, leaning close to Tom. The new normal of a gentle home, a loving home, still struck her as an oddity and a dream. She pinched herself while their backs were still to her and the sharp pain reminded her that this, in fact, was real. He was gentle with Molly again as she spilled some coffee grounds, and helped her with the cleanup. 

With two mugs of coffee in hand, Tom made his way back to the table and placed one in front of WIlla. “How about a dinner date tonight, and a walk in the park?” he asked as he sat down. 

“All of us?” Willa asked, the first wonderful sip of coffee barely past her lips. 

“Just you and me,” he said, and threw a wink at Molly, “Molly will be joining her auntie Jo for some tomfoolery.” 

Willa rolled her eyes, “Sometimes I wonder if that’s not truly your last name… Foolery.” 

Tom leaned in kissed Willa’s hair, “I’ll go about changing it professionally. Although I think Luke has enough on his plate. So are we on? I know those late nights editing can keep you busy.” 

Willa chuckled under her breath, “It’s not just editing keeping me up, wanker.” She took a bite of her cereal giving him a smirk as she chewed, “And of course we’re on.” 

“Excellent!” he said. “There’s a new place I want to try out near the amphitheater. It’s beautiful outside, and I just want to take advantage of this beautiful day with my gorgeous girl.” Willa blushed a bit, and Molly made a kissing noise as he kissed Willa’s cheek. “Oh Miss Molly, you’ll get yours.” 

He leapt from his chair, and Molly’s eyes widened before she ran off in a fit of giggles with Tom chasing her. The hysterical squealing laughter and barking dog told Willa that he had caught her, and that a tickle fight had ensued. 

She pinched herself again. This was real. 

*~*~*~*~*~* 

Johanna’s entrance was loud, her usual when she had something big planned with Molly. Joining Willa in her bedroom, she rifled through the closet as Willa readied herself and Molly finished packing her overnight bag. “I think you should wear this dress.” She stated as she pulled out a conservative, yet flattering, black and white Marc Jacobs.

Willa furrowed her brow as she’d had another dress picked out, “Why this one? I was going to wear the blue one?” 

“This one looks gorgeous on you, this polka dot dress and you are made for each other,” Johanna explained. 

“It’s just Tom. And why are you making a fuss?” 

“Because I can,” Jo retorted. “And besides, I do love this dress.” 

Willa shrugged and slipped on her tights. Tights had become her security blanket since the assault, as she was still self conscious of her feet and legs. “So what do you and Molly have planned for this evening?” 

Jo flopped on the bed and laid back, her mess of curls fanning out behind her, “Girl stuff, pedis, facials, looking at beautiful things on the internet, maybe a club or a pub or two later.” 

“Funny,” Willa said as she pulled the dress over her head, “Make sure you have a designated driver then, and no fizzy drinks; I think they make her dreams worse.” 

Jo rolled her eyes and saluted Willa, “No fizzies. Right - o!” 

“If she does have a nightmare, I mean they have lessened since we’ve had Winter, sit with her through it. Every so often he shows up in her head…” 

“She’ll be fine. I promise. I want you to have a good time tonight. You both need some time together.” 

Willa smiled at her friend, “And I promise you that I will.” 

“It will be a great night. For all involved.” 

Tom knocked on the door and had an antsy Molly beside him, “This sweet pea is all ready to cause a ruckus with her auntie and I am ready for an evening out with my girl.” 

Molly ran to Willa and hugged her, “You look pretty, Mommy.” 

“Thank you, darling. You be good for auntie Jo, and no fizzies, okay?” 

Jo whined, “Enough with the fizzies! C’mon Muffin, let’s go get wild.” 

Molly turned and hugged Tom, grabbed Winter’s leash, and ran down the stairs squealing, “Let’s go Auntie!” 

As she was leaving, Jo winked at Tom and he, in turn, winked back adding a nod. “I don’t know what you two are up to, but don’t make it so apparent,” Willa said catching their silent communication. 

Jo snorted, “Bye Willa. Enjoy your evening!” 

*~*~*~*~*

The car pulled in front of The Oslo Court Restaurant, Tom opting for a driver as Willa had decided to wear low chunky heels. The walk through the park worried him; not because of Willa’s shoe choice or her ability to walk the distance home. He helped her out of the car and he felt his heart pang. This woman could wear a dress, yoga pants, or nothing at all and she could slay him. She offered her lopsided smile, a new characteristic from a small scar that had formed close to her upper lip, a smile that reflected the strong woman who bore it, and the mending woman behind it. 

She took his hand, his hold firm as she stepped onto the walkway. He wore her favourite silver suit. Dressed up, yet still casual enough to to offer him comfort. 

“Oh French!” she said, “I haven’t had French cuisine since Paris.” 

Tom nodded. There was a reason behind the French restaurant, and that was one of them. “Great memory, isn’t it? Kind of our beginning, you think?” 

Willa laughed as the maître d’ welcomed them, took Willa’s jumper, and began to lead them to a private table, “I like to think of it as our official beginning, when I finally got my head on straight and realized how much I love you.” 

“Good enough reasoning. I am lovable.” 

The maître d’ held out the chair for Willa and she sat, “Completely, wanker.” 

The wines came out shortly after they were seated. Pre-selected by Tom, there was one red and one white, to pair with their meal. Appetizers of grilled pink grapefruit and smoked salmon followed, again all pre-arranged by Tom, who had taken special note of the things Willa loved. They shared entrees of Chateaubriand and Halibut and Salmon en Croute, with a pastry so buttery it melted in their mouths. For pudding, Willa chose a chocolate crème brulee and Tom a toffee cake. They talked for a while, about Molly, about her school and her budding imagination, and about themselves. 

The piano player offered quiet background music as they talked. There were several other parties enjoying the restaurant, and the staff’ catered to their needs without overwhelming them. Willa thought it odd that the pianist had played “All You Need Is Love” several times as they had dined. There were several couples in the restaurant, so she thought it was just the musician's way to offer a unique twist to the classical romantic pieces he played. 

The park had its typical steady amount of visitors for a spring evening. Families, couples, and those getting in their evening workout lined the paths. Tom held Willa’s hand firmly, a comfortable silence between them as they walked. A string quartet played near the gardens, melodic and comforting as they walked towards the group. As they walked closer, their song finished and they immediately began “All You Need Is Love.” 

“Weird,” Willa said under her breath as they paused for a moment to listen. 

“What’s weird?” Tom asked wrapping his arm around her and pulling her close. 

She shook her head, “Nothing. I just love a string quartet.” 

He laughed, and tossed a fiver into an open violin case, “I agree; it is an elegant sound.” 

The quartet finished their song, acknowledged the small crowd and began to play again. Tom gently nudged Willa to continue their walk as they began another song. After a few notes, she recognized that it was “String Quartet in A minor,” the Schubert piece that had been used in Avengers for Tom’s character. Willa laughed, “I think you’ve been recognized.” 

“It’s a burden of glorious purpose,” he replied.

“Wanker,” she giggled as they moved forward. 

They walked some more, their conversation turning to a discussion of a summer in Northern Ireland and a fall in the United States. It was his goal to bring both Willa and Molly with him, and he was taking every measure to make sure Molly’s education was not interrupted and that they had private and comfortable accommodations. His enthusiastic tone piqued her interest with his hopes of making it happen. 

The voices of an a Capella group soon filled the air along the paths. Voices in harmony, singing a chill bump-inducing version of “Hallelujah.” A small crowd had gathered and cheered when they finished, many putting tips into a bucket they had in front of them. A small tone of the pitch pipe to signal the beginning of their new song, and the once again a familiar harmony filled their ears, “Love, love, love….” They sang the opening lyrics of “All You Need Is Love.” 

“What’s going on?” Willa asked, “You’re up to something.” 

“Me?” he retorted, “It’s pure coincidence!” 

She rolled her eyes at him, “This is too odd. Way too odd.” 

“We’re in London, people love the Beatles.” 

Willa shook her head, “And this is the single choice tonight of all the hundreds of Beatles songs to pick?” 

Tom shrugged and laughed, “It may possibly be!” A sign along the path indicated that there would be a Shakespeare production in the outside theatre that would start in a few minutes, “I wonder what they are performing?” 

“It wouldn’t be anything related to the Beatles, would it?” Willa smiled as he took her hand and walked towards the theatre. 

“Only if Shakespeare and John Lennon are writing in the heavens above.” 

“That would only be purely coincidental,” Willa said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. She laughed at his excitement of anything Shakespearean, “I wonder which play they are performing. I didn’t catch it. You’re like an excitable fanboy when it comes to him.” 

“No matter,” he said as he continued to lead her on the path, “I am sure it will be worth taking in.” 

“Oh, I’m sure!” She huffed as he picked up the pace. They walked, and another set of musicians, a mariachi band this time, drew a small crowd as they played. Again, a song ended and “All You Need Is Love” began. “You are definitely up to something.” 

“Just a night out with my girl,” he assured her. 

There were a few people seated in the open amphitheater, typical for performing groups that used it. Tom led Willa to the front and took a seat on the first row center bench. “I’m sure this won't’ be a sellout.” 

“Ah, perhaps not, but the show of support is always important.” He kissed her head, and stood up again, “I’m going to get us a drink. I’ll return shortly.” 

Willa pulled out her phone as soon as he left and texted Johanna, “He’s up to something. What do you know?” 

“I know nothing. Busy with my girl. Wet nails.” 

“You lie.” 

“Only on my back.” 

Willa rolled her eyes and looked around. Tom was nowhere to be found and she began to grow a bit nervous. A sole usher came up to Willa and handed her a flute of champagne and said, “Mr Hiddleston had to take a call; he will be at your service soon.” 

“Thank you,” she said, as the usher acknowledged her and stepped away. She shook her head and chuckled, “Wanker.” 

The lights on the stage lit up, and the music began; again, the music of the Beatles serenaded her with “All You Need Is Love.” The song faded and the spotlight focused on the center curtain. The curtain drew back, and Tom walked out. Willa furrowed her brow, a bit shocked to see him on the stage. 

He smiled at her quickly, a nervous look on his face. “Let me not to the marriage of true minds…” he began and her heart began to race; 

“Admit impediments. Love is not love  
Which alters when it alteration finds,  
Or bends with the remover to remove:  
O no! It is an ever-fixèd mark  
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;  
It is the star to every wandering bark,  
Whose worth's unknown, although his height be taken.  
Love's not Time's fool, though rosy lips and cheeks  
Within his bending sickle's compass come;  
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,  
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.  
If this be error and upon me proved,  
I never writ, nor no man ever loved “ 

He walked towards her as he recited William Shakespeare's Sonnet 116. The sonnet of true love, of vows, of unrequited romance. His eyes never leaving hers, his voice deep and steady. Willa shook. Her hands were shaking so badly she rested the champagne on the bench beside her. Emotion welled in her throat as he approached her. Tears formed in her eyes and slid down her cheeks.

“I want to think Mister Shakespeare had us in mind when he wrote that. As a young man I would often daydream about reciting that sonnet to the woman I loved. A sonnet of such power and integrity; a true definition of love and the support it encompasses.” Willa couldn’t stand as she was shaking like a leaf holding on in a windstorm, so Tom knelt before her and took a piece of jewelry from his jacket pocket. It sparkled in the spotlights and he held her shaky hand. “Two friends crossed the paths of this park last year. Two hearts grew together through love and turmoil. Two souls supporting and nurturing each other. Two beings that defied a horror and live for each other. Willa Elizabeth; it is that I ask, that we make this a union of unimaginable affection and deep admiration. I ask, will you marry me?” 

The emotion escaped Willa in a mixture of a sob and laughter. Her free hand covered her mouth, as her eyes moved from the ring back to his stare. “I knew you were up to something you bloody wanker. Yes. Yes I will. I bloody will.” 

He steadied her hand as he slipped the rose gold antique diamond ring on her finger, and wrapped her in his arms as the few people that were around them applauded. He kissed her, a deep and passionate kiss that curled her toes. “I love you, Wills,” his voice wavering with emotion. 

She wiped a tear from her eye and then used her thumbs to wipe his tears, “I love you too, Wanker.” She admired the intricacies of her ring, small and simple, a circle cut diamond surrounded with smaller diamonds in its setting. “It’s so beautiful.” 

“Nothing could outdo your beauty. Outside and inside, my gorgeous girl.” He kissed her hair, as the usher reappeared with a flute of champagne for Tom. Tom picked up Willa’s and handed it to her, clinked her glass and toasted her, “To the beginning of our union, and our small family that will grow with love each day.” 

“Cheers.” 

They walked the remaining paths of Regent’s Park hands held tight, their bodies close. Every few minutes Tom would bring her hand to his lips and kiss the knuckle where the ring sat on Willa’s finger. 

“Pinch me,” Willa said as they came to the hill of Regent’s where it had all began. The incident that rekindled the friendship that changed everything. 

“I’m not pinching you, that would hurt you.” 

A smile formed on her lips, his sentiment coursed through her. “Then kiss me? I need to make sure this is real. That this isn’t just a dream.” 

“I can do that,” he replied and kissed her, nibbling on her lip as he did. 

“Standing in this spot, remembering when Molly ran into you, I never imagined this is where we’d be.” 

“Some things, Willa, are meant to be. And I was meant to love you, and Molly made sure that happened.” 

Willa laughed, “If there was an award for matchmaking, she could claim it.” 

He once again took her hand in his and led her towards the park gates, “She could,” he agreed, “I’m sure she’s going to be excited about this new development.” 

“I think she will, “Daddy”.” 

*~*~*~*~*~* 

They passed the pub where they had spent many hours that had cemented the foundation of their relationship that saw laughter, tears and frightening moments; Tom stopped her. 

“Why are we stopping? There’s one thing I want to do, and getting a drink isn’t one of them,” Willa said, wrapping her arm around his waist. 

“My little minx,” he said, then kissed her forehead, “I need to stop in, just for a moment. George has something for me.” 

“One drink. No darts.” 

“I promise.” He kissed her quickly and opened the door to the pub. 

“LET ME SEE IT!!!!” Johanna yelled. 

Willa stood wide-eyed. Johanna, Molly (who had run to Tom’s arms), her parents, his mother, Emma, Luke, and the Hemsworths were all waiting for them. 

“You all knew!” she laughed, as Molly took Willa’s hand to see her mother’s new jewelry. 

“Like we’d tell you,” Johanna said hugging her friend. 

“Welcome to the family,” Emma tapped Willa’s cheek, then took her hand to ogle her brothers choice in rings, “He’s always had good taste in everything.” 

Willa wiped at a tear that welled as family and friends offered their congratulations and George poured a round of champagne to celebrate. Laughter and cheers filled the pub as toasts were offered, and hugs were aplenty.   
There had been plenty of moments when Willa had felt a sureness in her relationship with Tom. There had also been plenty of moments when she had wondered why he loved her and Molly like he did. Then there was this moment where there was no question, when he caught her eye in the midst of the celebration, that their connection was evident. Butterflies rose in her tummy, and her heart raced when he smiled at her, leaving her breathless. That look he only gave her, of sheer adoration, when they became lost in each other. 

He made his way over to her, his need to be close to her a constant, “Hello, future wife.” 

“Hello, future husband,” she replied before he leaned in to steal a kiss. 

“How about we sneak out of here, and do some celebrating of our own?” 

“No darts?” she laughed, as he pulled her close to him. 

“Hmmmm, I have a target and it’s not on that board.” 

“Oh,” she said as he kissed her neck. The Beatles began singing again, “All You Need Is Love” and she burst out in laughter. 

“Love is all you need!” he laughed, “Come, let’s go, my gorgeous girl.” 

She smiled, and pinched herself.


	23. Chapter Twenty - One

Chapter Twenty-One 

Willa’s fingers nervously tapped the side of the paper coffee cup. She sipped the oversweet drink with Molly busy drawing beside her as they waited for Johanna. All three of them had an imperative meeting to attend to within the hour. She checked her phone, a text from Jo stating that she was only a few minutes away. 

“Calm yourself, you have time. I could meet you if you’d only tell me where” Willa texted back, “Coffee?” 

“No! I’ll be right there. It’s really the Tube’s fault. And yes on the coffee, please!” 

Willa laughed to herself and tousled Molly’s hair. “You’re auntie Jo will never be on time.” 

“If she was early I wouldn’t have my cocoa,” Molly replied not looking up from her picture. 

Willa laughed then kissed her daughter’s hair. “It’s really the little things isn’t it?” 

Johanna had taken control over the wedding planning from Willa. For Willa, the thought of eloping seemed like the simplest and less conspicuous way of going about the nuptials. However, Jo wouldn’t have it, claiming Willa was shafted out of her first wedding and that true love needed to celebrated. When Willa turned to Tom for his opinion, she hoped that he would agree with her and whisk her away to elope and have a honeymoon alone. He agreed with her on many things in their relationship, yet this time he didn’t. The romantic thought of wedding her sparkled in his eyes. She laughed despite herself, and figured to give in and enjoy her best friends control of it. 

Johanna bustled through the cafe doorway, out of breath and carrying several bags. Willa laughed at the sight of her hurried friend, “You know, you look like a chav with all those bags.” She said as her friend plopped herself into a seat at their table and inhaled a deep breath. 

“You know, if I knew that your posh self wouldn’t run off and elope, I’d say plan your own bloody wedding.” 

“Then I’ll keep on with the sarcasm and hope for the best.” 

Johanna rolled her eyes at Willa then focused her attention on Molly. “Muffin, your mother pushes buttons, you know.” 

Molly didn’t look up from her drawing, brushing an errant curl from her face and said, “Only with you, Auntie” 

“It’s obvious the apple isn’t falling far; I need to change that.” Jo said, as she picked up her coffee. She sighed, smile on her face as both Willa and Molly gave her the stare. “Guess you’re ready to go?” 

“Wherever it is we are going to,” Willa replied.“I’m nervous.” Johanna smirked, the face she always gave when Willa would surely disapprove of her motives. “Oh Jo, what are you going to make me do?” 

“Every beautiful bride needs a dress,” Johanna replied.“And it’s about time we find one.” 

Willa knitted her brows together, her mind racing as they were in an affluent boutique neighborhood. “Johanna, the only bridal shop in this neighborhood is Jenny Packham…” 

“And we need to be there now, let’s go.” 

“Johanna!” Willa crossed her arms in an adamant stature, brows knitted severely as she planned to make a demanding stand that this was going far from the simple wedding she requested. 

“Willaaaaa!” Johanna whined back. “She’s waiting and before you go on and possibly lecture me with that you aren’t worth it, I will ask you now to cease and desist. Jenny is looking forward to working with you, and my love you are worth every piece of silk she puts you in.” Willa’s arms dropped, but the ire still set in her eye. “Jenny requested you. So do us a favor, put on a smile and let the designer that makes all of the Princesses dresses do the same for you.” 

“She makes Princess Kate’s dresses?” Molly’s interest now peaked, her eyes wide and excited. 

“Yes my muffin, she does. And she wants to make your mommy a princess too.” 

“Can she make me a princess?” 

“Absolutely.” Johanna said as she helped Molly stash away her pencils. “She’s going to make all of us princesses.” 

Willa exhaled loudly knowing there was no way out of visiting Jenny Packham and then having her design a dress. “You’re going overboard, Johanna.” 

“It will be simple, quiet, and beautiful, just as you requested. I know you're not crazy about people fussing over you, but your dress Willa, does not need to be ordinary. And just this once, let’s fuss a bit. Let’s revel in this union, and celebrate you and Tom, and Tom’s adoption of Molly. The three of you deserve this day.” 

Willa’s features relaxed, and she nodded. Johanna had made perfect sense as her requests were still being met, and there were many things to celebrate.“Sorry. Sometimes I think it’s still a bit of brainwashing. That I should still be limited to anything that involves myself. It’s hard to break through.” 

“Well, let’s do some recovery and try on some fucking dresses,” Jo cantered. “This is a new life, Mrs. Hiddleston. Let’s welcome it.” 

Willa rolled her eyes. “You’ll be impossible if we don’t” 

“You’re right! Let’s go.” 

*~*~*~*~ 

Sketches and fabrics lined the counter island and dresses lined the walls in Jenny Packham’s studio, and the art was highlighted with “Willa”, and all potential designs for her wedding dress.   
Jenny was cheery and immediately sensed Willa’s uncertainty and did her best to make Willa feel at ease as she welcomed the small party (which now included Esther, Emma and Diana). The group fingered through the items on the counter, fussing over which style, veil, and fabric would work best for Willa. Sensing Willa’s growing tension, Jenny immediately quieted down the chatty women in her studio. 

“Remember this day is for Willa and Tom,” Jenny reminded. “And as much as we’d like to give our input of color, cut and design, it’s all Willa’s decision on what will make her feel the most beautiful on her wedding day.” 

Willa offered a soft smile and unfolded her arms as the women quieted. During her first wedding, Willa’s dress was chosen for her, puffy sleeves and a bell skirt that swallowed her. Jack made sure she had little input for their wedding, everything from the church to reception hall and menu were all picked by him. “I’m paying for it, so you’ll deal with my choices.” She shook his voice and the the memory out of her head, refocusing her attention to the task at hand. 

“Willa, what do you see yourself getting married in?” Jenny asked as she turned to a clean page on her sketchbook. 

She thought for a moment and looked at the items that lay before her. She thought of Tom and the Globe Theatre, the venue where they would be wed and let her imagination run wild, “I want something soft and feminine, a full length skirt, with a bit of a train. I don’t want anything too clingy, something not completely modest, but something I feel comfortable in.” 

As she spoke, Jenny sketched and within a few moments she turned the sketchbook over to show a quick sketch of a gown that was exactly what Willa described. “A lace and beaded bodice with three-quarter sleeves, and a flowy skirt with a train.” 

Willa smiled, the nervousness leaving her as she felt the excitement build within her “Maybe a shorter sleeve?” 

Willa tried on several dresses at Jenny’s request to get a feel of what would compliment Willa’s figure and to get a better idea of what Willa would like. Some a bit too modest and some a bit too revealing, either way Willa was beginning to have fun with it, twirling and strutting as the awaiting women judged each dress. Esther was in the dressing room with her as she tried on one of the last ones, and after she buttoned the back, both women were left speechless. They stood staring at the reflection in the mirror as the dress fit and flowed from her curves. She twirled in the dressing room and looked back at her mother.“Mum, is this what it feels like? When you put on the gown that you know will be the one to take you to oblivion?” 

Esther smiled at her daughter, taking in the beautiful image before her.“Yes. My dear child, yes.” 

“This is going to happen, isn’t it? All that was wrong, will be made right?” 

Esther nodded and kissed her daughter’s cheek. “I wouldn’t think of it that way, Willa. Love has a way of knowing what is needed in one's life. A friendship that evolved into an endearing love gave you back that trust, honesty, and loyalty that you needed to see.” 

“I love him, mum. My heart skips a beat when he’s near me. I miss him when he’s away. I melt when he looks at me, when he tells me how much he loves me with no words at all. My toes curl with the chastest of kisses. And the way he loves Molly….” 

Esther brushed a tear that hung on to Willa’s lashes. “He loves you ravenously. The past is now the past, and your future is beautiful.” 

Willa laughed softly. “Jo’s going to yell with excitement when she see’s this dress.” 

“I believe you’re right! I can hear her muttering about right now. I think it’s time to show them the dress that chose you.” 

Willa stepped out from the dressing room door, a feeling of calm and joy surrounded her. This would be the dress that she would marry Tom in. “This is the one.” She said, as she stepped towards her awaiting family, twirling once letting the small train wrap around her. 

Johanna yelped as predicted, Emma put her hands to her mouth to cover her trembling lips, and Diana looked upon her future daughter in law with an endearing smile, and a small voice spoke up that stole Willa’s attention: “Mommy you look like a princess.” 

Willa felt her heart skip a beat as Molly looked up at her, eyes wide with excitement and love. “I feel like a princess.” 

Jenny took measurements and offered suggestions to make the dress Willa’s own. A longer train and beaded bodice were simple elements that would suit Willa’s personality. Accessories were chosen; Willa selecting a simple jeweled headband in lieu of a veil which would allow her to wear her hair in a semi-up do. Willa allowed her bridesmaids (Johanna, Emma, and Sarah) freedom to choose the design of their dresses as long as they kept them in the tones of dark grey or deep jeweled tones to allow her favorite colors of purple and teal to pop her late summer colour scheme. Molly, beginning to look bored and unamused, played with a swatch of lavender fabric when Jenny came up behind her. Willa watched as she engaged with her daughter. “Are you excited for your mummy?” she asked, which immediately drew a smile from Molly. Molly nodded as Jenny continued her conversation. “Your daddy is a lucky man. Not only is he marrying your mum, I hear he’s adopting you too?” 

Molly’s eyes lit up, they always did when this was brought up; Tom’s adoption of her will be finalized a few days before the wedding. Willa and Tom decided that it would a perfect addition to the ceremony, all three coming together as family. ‘Well, since we’ve got your mum looking like a princess for her big day, I think we should make you a dress that’s just as worthy. Do you see this fabric right here, Molly? I made a dress for Princess Catherine with it. Do you like it?” 

If Molly’s eyes were allowed to grow any wider, they would have. She nodded as her full attention was now placed on Jenny. “Yes, ma’am, I do!” 

“How about if we use this fabric, to make a pretty top for your dress? Then you could be a true princess on your special day too?” 

Molly looked up at Willa searching for permission. “I think it’s a beautiful fabric,” Willa agreed, caressing Molly’s cheek. “It highlights your features.” 

“Willa, how do you feel about full length tulle? Not something overly poofy, just enough to keep her youth, and give her some flair to stand out amongst the other ladies. Her own ceremony dress per say?” Jenny quickly drew a sketch showing Willa how Molly’s dress would look. Girly, not overly frilly, and perfectly Molly. 

“This is extraordinary,” Willa said as she looked at the sketch. 

“I don’t do many girls dresses, and I love when I get the chance too. Do you like the design Molly?” 

“Yes!” Came out as a giggle as she hugged Jenny tightly. 

“I think we have an agreement,” Willa said, the smile on her face stretching from ear to ear. 

 

As they began to leave the shop for the day, Jenny’s lingerie line caught Willa’s eye, and she tugged Jo’s arm.“Mum, can you take Molly back home? There’s some things I want to look at.” 

Jo grinned. “Oh yes, wedding night skivvies!” 

Willa rolled her eyes. “Who said anything about wedding night?” 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Willa scoured Johanna’s desk looking for a contract that she had given her counterpart to look over. Jo’s desk had the resemblance of a battleground as business had been picking up, leaving contracts and plans scattered amongst accounting and bids on new clientele. 

“You need an assistant in here!” Willa said as she found the folder she had been searching for. 

“Soon!” was the reply from the other room. “It’s been too crazy to find a minute to hire someone.” 

Willa shook her head and pulled the folder from beneath a sizable pile. The folder caught on another folder marked WILLA WEDDING. She smiled at the manila object that was already filled with contracts and such. She opened it and flipped through the contents: The Globe Theatre, along with menus with dates arranged for tastings, emails from Jenny Packham and other vendors, and stapled to the inside back of the folder was an email with a too familiar name. Willa felt her stomach sour as Alastair's name in bold font stared directly at her. 

Johanna, 

Please find the wire information that was made to your account. There will be two more to follow and please let me know if any more is needed for Willa’s wedding to Tom. 

Thank you for allowing me to fund this, and I will keep in touch when it’s time to design the center I am proposing. 

Best,   
Alastair 

Willa felt the anger build inside her. She tore the email off of it’s place and with a blind fury went to confront her friend. Johanna was leaning on a light table, looking at a design when Willa pushed the email in front of her. “Care to tell me about this?” 

Johanna paused, thrown off by the surprise, and saw the hurt and rage behind Willa’s eyes. “He offered, and I accepted.” 

“Offered!? Tom and I have an account set aside for this! Is this some kind of peace offering? A-A-A I’m sorry my son tortured you for ten years and then nearly killed you and your daughter offering? I can’t accept this! Send it back!” 

Johanna blinked. “Yes, in certain terms it is a peace offering. I discussed this with Tom. It was meant to be kept a secret from you. I should have…” 

“Tom knows!” Willa felt the rage over take her. “You both kept this from me?” 

“Willa, the man is heartbroken and apologetic over what happened. He’s building a shelter for victims of domestic violence. Let him do this, please?” Jo was calm in her delivery, hoping Willa would see her way. 

“No! I don’t care what he does! I can’t have this. I can’t have his name on my wedding. I need to leave this behind. Him, Jack. Send it back Johanna.” 

“Willa..” 

“I said NO!” Tears began to form in Willa’s eyes as her anger intensified. “Why is it when I say NO, everyone takes that as a yes, and do whatever the bloody fuck they want with me!” 

Johanna bit her lip; Willa’s feeling apparent. “I am sorry you feel that way.” 

Willa shook her head, a disgusted and hurt look settled on her face. “I need to go.” 

She threw the email at Johanna, picked up her bags, and rushed out the door. She grabbed the first taxi she saw, avoiding the Tube, opting for the fastest way home. She did her best to control her emotions, trying to deactivate the trigger that was set. 

Her thoughts were spinning out of control. “How could they do this? My best friend and fiance, not even including me with this decision. DO I even want to go through with this? This is OUR wedding. How is this okay?” 

She paid her fare and gathered her belongings and cursed at her inability to open the front door fast enough. Dropping everything at the door, she ran to her bathroom cabinet and searched for the pill bottle. It was now tucked in the back since her anxiety had been in check for quite some time and with shaky hands shook out a tablet. She drew a glass of water and swallowed it down, then allowed the emotion to relieve itself. A choking sob left her body as confusion and hurt played havoc. She took another glass of water from the tap and made her way to the the terrace. The sun was setting over Regent’s Park; it’s light peacefully illuminating the buildings surrounding hers. Drawing a deep calming breath, she curled up in her chaise, put knees to chest, and sobbed. 

Time passed. She had turned her phone off to avoid calls and texts; if anyone had needed her they knew where to look. She felt the Xanax begin to take hold of her and calm her, yet the tears fell even though the anger waned. The hurt and betrayal still persisted in her mind. Jack's voice once again in her head, as much as she tried to silence it. The quiet, as much as she craved it, made her thoughts much louder, even the thought of calling off the wedding crossed her mind. 

“Peace offering,” She thought.“I’ll never have peace if this continues.” 

“Remember Willa, I will never give you peace….” She shuddered as his voice again entered her mind, and curled into herself even tighter. 

Willa heard his footsteps. She knew all his gaits, when he ran, when he walked, or when he approached her softly, making enough noise not to startle her. Her balled up form told him that the anger had waned, but the hurt… He had hurt her. He had betrayed her trust. He too had fallen into Jack’s trap, one that she still struggled to climb out of, and he wondered about the damage that this time HE had caused. He closed his eyes and inhaled, swallowing the guilt he had only placed on himself. He sat on the sofa across from her, and Willa turned herself further from him in a silent contempt. He anticipated that, the hurt radiating off her in waves. 

He cleared his throat before he spoke, swallowing back his own emotion that wanted to purge itself from him. He spoke soft, and slow. Whatever she needed, he would give her to recompense this horrible mistake. “Johanna called me. Told me what you had found, and I understand your avoidance and your hurt. I think Jo and I went about this the wrong way…” 

“You think?” She interrupted, and a sniffle followed, her head still turned away from him. “My feelings about things never matter to anyone it seems.” 

“Willa, Alastair is only trying to gift us. I was planning to move the wedding funds to the domestic violence shelter fund and aid him in that. I should have came to you first. I was trying to avoid this and instead I have only caused you more pain.”

She finally found the strength to look at him. Her eyes red rimmed, and her hurt clearly visible. He could tell she was trying her hardest to contain her anger, yet the hurt flowed from her like a river, “I don’t think you and Jo understand the magnitude of mistrust this has on me. Alastair's funding our wedding is letting Jack back into my life. He’s still controlling everything I do. Johanna said it was a ‘peace offering’,” She pulled her shoulders back and wiped a stray tear from her cheek. Willa knew she had to show him her strength, that she was in charge of this situation no matter how much that frightened her. “I’m telling you this now, and I don’t like giving ultimatums.” Her eyes bore into his, as she made her demand. “The money gets returned to him. All of it Tom, or the wedding is off. My NO means NO. I cannot marry you with Jack hanging over my head.” Firm, strong, and resilient her calm words reverberated in his ears. 

She was fair in her request, and he nodded in agreeance, almost joyed that her demand was simple.You’re right. I will call Alastair and set up the wire to return the funds.” 

“And keep no more secrets like this from me. Ever. I know we both agreed that he will be in Molly’s life; but there will be boundaries. There has to be boundaries, Tom. Alastair is part of what could have been my death, as much as I don’t like that thought,it’s my truth.” 

“I’m so sorry, Willa,” He said. “It wasn’t my plan to hurt or betray you” 

She exhaled as she looked away from him, her courage waning. “It never is.” Her answer was somber, and Tom swallowed hard. “I’m trying understand the intention behind it.” 

He motioned to the empty space beside her, and before she even gave him the slightest nod he moved into it. Wanting to ease the situation quickly, and grateful for strength and what he hoped was her forgiveness. He took her in his arms and she curled into his lean frame. He kissed her forehead, lips lingering as he relished in her warmth. “My gorgeous girl. Can you forgive my callous stupidity?” 

She cuddled deeper into his embrace, letting her fingers walk up his arm feeling the hard muscle underneath it. “You're not callous, Thomas. I understand Alastair wants to give us a gift, and I think his funding of a shelter is noble, not our wedding. This is our life. Our day. I want nothing of the past hanging over us. Just you, me, our daughter and our future.” 

He shivered under her touch, tucked his hand under her chin and brought her lips to his. The kiss deep and passionate causing Willa to tug at his hair pulling him closer. “How much longer until our daughter comes home from school?” 

Willa laughed still breathless from his kiss. “Do you think sex fixes everything?” 

“Eheheheh, won’t say it fixes, though it certainly enhances the recovery.” 

She ran her fingers through his locks and pulled them as he nibbled her neck and his hand flattened against her breast. “Hmmm, you’re doing your best aren’t you?” 

He stood up, and scooped her up in his arms. “Love, my best is when you’re happy and when I am loving you.” 

“Well, I guess you do have some making up to do.” She copped a smile and he relaxed,  
“You have an hour.” 

“You’ve given me another chance at an eternity,” He said as he brought her back into the bedroom. “And I plan to use every moment.” 

“An eternity is longer than an hour.” 

He gently placed her on the bed and a grin announcing his carnal intention spread across his lips. “Is that a challenge?” 

He quickly undid her jeans and slipped them off along with her knickers. She squirmed playfully away from him, and he pulled her back as she laughed,“You still need to call Johanna.” 

“Right now, my gorgeous girl, you are the only one that matters. Unless you want her to hear how many times I make you scream my name.” 

His breath was hot and heavy on her thighs, his day old beard tickled her skin. “Now that’s a challenge. At least I can tell her the make up sex was sufficient.” 

“For what I did, it needs to be more than sufficient.” 

She gasped as he kissed her apex placing her legs over his shoulders. “Let’s start with one? And Tom?” 

He drew his eyes from her center to meet hers. “Yes, love?” 

“I love you.” 

“You’re my world, Wills. I love you too.” 

She shimmied to get closer to his face, and he grinned more wickedly than before. “Tom, one more thing.” 

His fingers found their way to her folds, and she arched her back at the sensation. “Yes WIlls.” 

“You can fuck me now.” 

“Oh you little minx. You better start counting.” 

She giggled as he dove his face into her, her fingers laced through his hair as he licked, nipped, and sucked. Bringing her to the point of climax and then edging her, watching as he drove her to the brink of madness. He finally allowed her to come and she screamed his name, loud and paired with obscenities. Catching her breath before he began again, she whispered. “One.”


	24. Chapter Twenty Two

Chapter 22

The room spun around her, the luxurious wallpaper and floral prints dizzying as she sat her unsteady self on the cloud-like bed. Closing her eyes, hoping to stop the sudden vertigo and slowly rising panic attack that bubbled in her belly. Deep breaths, counting slowing 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8 and exhaling settled her, even if temporary. The day was a blur, just as her vision was now. A day filled with laughter, pampering, fancy foods and tea, family and friends that have all settled in to the Savoy Hotel, all arriving to celebrate the joyous occasion. 

Taking another deep breath, Willa stepped from the bed and made her way to the window. She opened it, and a breeze of fresh air circled around her and sent the sheer curtains reaching out to the middle of the room. Petrichor was in the air, a late summer downpour sending the heady scent through the suite and calmed Willa more. Big Ben sounded in the distance, and she counted each gonged bell tone as it announced the hour. 

Midnight. The twelfth tone droned and echoed through London which seemed infinite, a reminder that the day had changed, and life once again was changing for her. 

It was officially their wedding day. 

Willa sat back down on the bed, the luxurious linens offering little comfort as she found them too rich for her blood. She had wanted to spend the night in her own bed. Tom insisted that the hotel would be more calming; not wanting any overhanging stress of home to interfere with their day. Willa smiled to herself as she recalled, not entirely faulting him and too bashful to speak up about her distaste for hotel rooms. She would try to keep the mild panic attack from him as it truly wasn’t worth adding to the stress, at this moment though she had wished she had spoke up. 

She was alone in the suite, Molly perhaps sensing Willa’s restlessness opting to stay with Tom’s sister Sarah and his young niece. Tom was coerced by Jo to adhere to tradition and was in his own suite; a separation until she would walk the aisle to join them in matrimony. Willa reached for the t-shirt that she had smuggled from his suitcase earlier and inhaled his scent. She longed for his comfort, his warmth, the reassuring way he held her when they they slept. The bed was huge without him, cold, and she had a keen sense that sleep was going to be hard to come by. 

She lay back on the cloud of pillows swallowed in by the fluff of feathers, wishing that Molly, Johanna, or even her Mum or Emma stayed with her. It was lonely, and too quiet and it was making her think; which she knew would only continue to cause her to spiral. She reached for the television remote and her phone turning on the telly with the hopes that something would ease her mind. If the telly proved worthless at least she had her phone to resort to music and a bath to help relax. Settling for Monty Python, she reached for the plate of now stale biscuits and cold tea that sat on her nightstand. She debated on calling room service for a fresh pot, felt the emotion well in her throat and instead wrapped herself in the duvet and hoped that John Cleese, Michael Palin and gang would banish the fearful thoughts plaguing her mind. 

A few laughs were managed in part to the Ministry of Silly Walks (which Tom interpreted greatly), Spam and The Lumberjack Song, nevertheless, classic british humor was still no opponent for her triggered mind . Big Ben tolled out a lone melancholy tone and Willa sighed, fearful now that there would be no sleep. She could already hear Johanna’s grumbling about the dark circles that would be under Willa’s eyes, and the lethargy that would compromise her day. She stepped from the bed to the window, inhaling deeply again, “Foolish girl.” she uttered to herself, “There’s no reason for this, no reason to be on edge. Jack’s not here! To bed, you need rest.” 

She closed the window, the suite now chilled with the damp night air. She pulled the sheets back, and was about to slip between them when there was a knock at the door. She made her way into the living area, and ogled the door, unsure if she was just hearing things or if there was a knock. Another knock shortly followed and her heart raced, “Who’s at my bloody door at 1am?” 

Willa knew that there was security so fans wouldn’t intrude, but she was hesitant as she approached the door. Checking the peephole, she was taken aback by the familiar handwriting on a note pressed against it. “It’s me!” said the chicken scratch and a familiar muffled voice behind the door repeated the written message. 

She opened the door a crack knowing if she didn’t adhere to tradition Johanna would throttle them both, “You know you bloody well aren’t supposed to be here.” 

“Technically no. I had this gut feeling you were out of sorts, so I’ve brought this.” A tea cart slipped between the door, with two pots of steeping tea and fresh biscuits. “If we leave it here, inbetween the door and the jamb, we can have a cup and talk to ease your mind a bit.” 

“Tom.” She began before he cut her off. 

“Willa. There’s no rule that says we can’t sit here by your door and talk, where I can hold your hand and calm my bride before she runs off on me.” 

“I wouldn’t do that.” she said, a sound of relief on her voice, “Not without leaving a note at least. I still don’t understand the tradition of being alone the night before your wedding. This isn’t an arranged wedding. Especially when the couple wants to be together.”

“Ehehehehehe.” She watched as his hands fixed her a cup, which he handed her. “Good to know you’d be at least responsible.I honestly think Johanna just wants all the luck in the world for us.” She slid down the back of the door and he did the same, his hand taking hers. He kissed her knuckles, and she felt calm in his presence. “Your room is cold, is your forced air broken?” 

“I had the window open. I needed fresh air. No matter the hotel or the reason, I get a little worked up when I am alone in one.” she explained not wanting to spill the truth that she had put herself into a panic, though it was evident in her tone. 

She sipped her tea, the warmth of the liquid comforting just as his presence did. He squeezed her hand, a silent acknowledgement that he understood her fear and it was warranted. “Maybe if I set an alarm, and I could slip out before anyone woke.” he suggested. “The only difference from this night to the next is a band of platinum, a piece of paper, a new last name and a daughter.” 

Willa laughed as she watched his long thumb stroke the top of her hand, “Platinum hmmm? I am honestly tempted to tell you yes. If I was home, I would be asleep by now you know?” 

He cleared his throat, an acknowledgement that he would take some of the blame; “I know Willa. I assumed Molly would be with you. Or even the dog. It was never my intention to leave you alone for the night. I should have planned better.” 

She took his hand and kissed a knuckle, “It’s alright Tom. It is an obstacle that I do need to conquer.”

“You shouldn’t have to do that tonight of all nights. I’ll stay until you fall asleep. May I? I already spend enough time away from you.” 

Willa sighed, now understanding that he too was also having a difficult time with the separation. “Oh if she ever finds out.” 

“The only people that matter in this is you and I. And as my soon to be wife, knowing that you are struggling I cannot just leave you. Hell, I’m staying here, this is ridiculous.” 

The terse tone in his voice clearly spoke of his decision. The door wiggled some against her as he stood, and the tea cart that was holding the door open slowly rolled inside. Willa looked up at him from her spot on the floor, the cheshire grin on his face immediately settling her, and she took his extended hand. 

“We are such trouble.” she said, as he kissed her cheek. 

“It’s a decision I know I can live with.” His embrace was warm against the chill in the room, and her mind finally allowed her the relaxation she fought hard to attain. 

She let out a yawn as he stroked her hair and gave him a sleepy grin, “I will admit my co-dependence. I can live with it too.”

“Great then, let’s get some rest. We’ve got a long day ahead of us.” 

She snuggled into the sheets and the addition of his warmth soon followed. Willa turned to him, snuggling under his neck and she felt him tangle his fingers in her hair as he embraced her. He could feel her relax as her lips lingered on his neck, a chaste kiss as he situated himself for sleep. Eyes adjusting to the darkness Tom kissed her nose, “Is this better my bride?” 

“Much.” was her sleepy reply. “I prefer losing sleep over other things. A forgotten tradition not being one of them.” 

“Hmmm.” Tom agreed as he tucked her hair behind her ear, “I can add red eye flights to that list.” 

“Late night arrivals.” She cantered. 

“Charity gala’s that last until early morning.” 

“Sunrises.” Willa sighed. 

“Our children needing us, whether they are hungry, or scared, or just in need of love.” Willa closed her eyes as the image materialized in her mind. Molly and her siblings scurrying about their bed excitedly as the rising sun filtered through the windows. The image of the children, faceless for now although their laughter was loud in her ears. She felt the emotion rise in her throat and a tear fell, which landed on Tom’s arm before she could catch it. “Everything alright?” 

He kissed her forehead as she wiped at a second tear, “For the longest time I thought Molly would be my one and only. That it was me and her against the world. I accepted that. And I think she began to accept that. The thought of children, the thought of enjoying a pregnancy, to not live in fear for my babies lives; it just overwhelmed me for a moment.”

A quick kiss to her lips and his thumb wiped the remaining tear from her cheek, eyebrow raised showing his sympathy and knowing he was bringing her such wonderful and peaceful thoughts of their future together “I figured five or six. That’s alright, yes? I’ve always dreamt of a big family” 

She snorted her laughter and they both erupted in giggles, “Let’s see what we are blessed with, and maybe adoption?” 

His fingers laced with hers as he looked upon her in the soft moonlight that bathed the room, and nuzzled her nose with his own,“I’m so incredibly in love with you, Willa. To not only imagine you as my bride, yet to see you glow with pregnancy…”

She shushed him with her lips, “Let’s focus on some sleep and our wedding in a few short hours, and then let's see what the next few months bring.” 

“Or focus on Johanna’s disgust knowing that we broke her tradition.” 

“She’ll be alright.” Willa said matter of fact, as she turned away from him and snuggled into the curve of his body, the feeling of sleep not far from taking her over, the soft sounds of his breathing and the comfort of his closeness enveloping her. 

“I’m sure she will.” He kissed her hair, her own warmth and soft scent bringing him his own comfort, “Pleasant dreams, my bride to be. I love you.” 

“Pleasant dreams my beautiful wanker. I love you too.” 

Tom and Willa both laid in the comfort of themselves as the finality of sleep overcame them. Big Ben sounded in the distance, another hour had passed. Two blissful tones rang out into the mid-night.


	25. Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty - Three 

The melodic tone of the alarm played its interlude, slowly waking Tom from what became a restful night's sleep. Willa stirred and mumbled, snuggling closer to him, her eyes still closed and encased in a burrow of blankets. He quietly laughed to himself at the sight of her, sleepy and content, knowing there would be a lifetime ahead of these mornings. He kissed the bit of skin that wasn’t covered by hair or fabric and she mumbled something again incoherently into the pillows. 

“I will see you later today, my gorgeous girl. I do fear Jo’s wrath so I’m going to sneak back into my room.” 

Willa popped her head up from the pillow, hair covering her face and a prominent sleepy grin peeked out from under it, “Mmmmmm, thank you for staying with me.” She brushed the hair from her face and took in the sight of him ahead of their separation, “I love you.” 

He leaned in and kissed her lips, still warm from sleep and let them linger, “I love you too.” 

He squeezed her close to him once more, inhaling the warm scent of her waking body then slipped from the bed. Willa watched as he made his way to the bedroom door, blew her a kiss and disappeared, beginning the several hours of separation. 

Willa rolled herself onto the side he had slept on, and wrapped herself in his warmth and scent. She closed her eyes and the blissful feeling took over, in a few short hours they would be a family. A sliver of sun danced on the bed, promising that the rain that fell earlier would hold off, which would enable them to have their wedding in the open air theatre of the Globe, a rarity that the Board had given them the go ahead for. 

She took a deep breath and flung the sheets back then flailed her arms and legs excitedly, feeling almost like a little girl on Christmas morning. Leaping from the bed she opened the curtain to blue skies and fluffy clouds. Sunlight danced from the puddles on the rooftop’s accumulations from the night's rain and from the Thames making the water sparkle like diamonds. A perfect late summer's day was in store. 

Spared a few moments of the only quiet and alone time she would have for the day, she drew a bath and watched a fizzy pink bath bomb unfurl itself in the warm water. She slipped in, letting the warmth embrace her excited body, allowing the scent to relax her a bit. She felt her eyes grow heavy as she imagined how her day would go. The flowers, the decor, the music, their friends and family, and the future they would share together circled in her mind, a future that may not have been possible at one point. 

She heard the jubilant entrance of Johanna, who may have been more excited than Willa, “Good Morning! I have tea and breakfast coming up for you! There was a bloody man in here! I can smell him! Where the bloody hell are you!” 

Willa laughed,”In the bath!” 

“You know we have a million things to do today.” Johanna entered the room and chuckled at the sight of Willa encased in a tub of pink foam, hair piled high on her head, eyes closed and a smile that reminded Jo of their childhood on her face. Jo hefted herself onto the vanity and crossed her arms, her own rushed mentality leaving as she looked down at her relaxing friend. “Did you sneak him in here last night? Bloody codependent wankers” 

“I won’t confirm or deny Tom’s presence, Only that I slept comfortable and sound” Willa said, opening one eye to peer at Jo, “Anyway, there’s only one thing that matters today, and it’s not last nights sleeping arrangement for sure. Tonight’s sleeping arrangement though, well, I have heard it’s bad taste to disappear from your own reception too early” 

Johanna snorted, “You’re bloody too much, and I love you for it. At least keep your fanny contained until the reception is nearing the end.” She launched herself off the vanity and took a robe that was hanging out of Willa’s reach and placed it on the towel rack close to the tub, “Soak for a bit longer, love. The girls are coming here for breakfast, conversation and preparation. I’ll tend to them, I want you as relaxed and happy as can be.” 

She leaned in and kissed Willa’s forehead and Willa closed her eyes again, and slipped deeper into the tub of water, “Thank you Jo. I am truly relaxed.. No worries here!” 

“That you are, love. That you are.” 

*~*~*~*~* 

Whirlwinds and weddings could and should be one in the same. The next few hours saw a flurry of activity and Willa’s suite was the epicenter. A relaxed breakfast that included gifts of lingerie (and a very curious Molly as to why there was so little to her mother’s sleepwear) and lots of laughter, which only became enhanced when the hairdressers came in to tame the tresses of the wedding party. 

Willa, opting to keep her hair down with cascading curls with a small tiara with attached veil that kept the short side of her hair tucked back. When she was finished, she sat with Molly who had her ever present sketch pad out and was doodling as the hairdresser gently brushed her hair. 

“What do you have there, love?” Willa asked leaning over to see what Molly was drawing. 

Molly shielded the picture and glared at her mother with the addition of a sweet smile, “A present.” She quickly flipped the page when she realized that her mother wasn’t going to back down and began writing, “Is this right?” 

Willa looked at the page and felt the first of many tears well in her eyes. In Molly’s neat handwriting stood her name, brand new. “MOLLY HIDDLLESTON”. 

Willa leaned in and kissed her daughter’s forehead, trying not to crush the curls that lay about her head, “One L in Hiddleston.” 

Molly rewrote it, making daisies out of her O’s, MOLLY HIDDLESTON, “I like my new name. I’m so glad Tom’s my daddy now, and now I can have sisters and brothers.” 

“We shall see, sweet pea.” Willa said as Molly smiled at the endearment that Tom had used for her since their first meeting, “I’m sure we’re going to have one very happy family.” 

Swirls of dark plum and blue-grey fabric began to take their place in the suite. Willa allowed Jo, Emma, and Sarah to pick their style of dresses from Jenny Packham’s boutique. Johanna in the dark plum and the sisters in a the beautiful blue grey that reminded Willa of a late summer night. Molly twirled in her dress, the light purple fabric of her over-dress coming from a dress of Princess Catherine. There was enough fluff under her skirt to give her the pouf that she adored, holding on to the child that Molly was, yet not swimming in the crinoline to reflect a very young girl. 

Willa’s dress hung on a silk hanger in the center of the suite. The beading of the bodice sparkled when the sun hit them, and the intricate embroidery waiting to show it’s beauty when it would curve along Willa’s body. The skirt would fully flare around her, and a short train would run behind her. 

Diana and Esther took the dress off the hanger, and Jo helped Willa out of the robe she was wearing. Covering her breasts for modesty, sharing a bashful giggle and smile with her mother-in-law as she stepped into her dress. Diana saw for the first time her scarred belly from Jack’s rampage, and the surgeries that kept her alive. The woman closed her eyes for a moment, recalling the event and exhaled deeply, “You are by far one of the bravest and most selfless women I know.” she said, helping Esther with the long row of buttons along Willa’s back, “I couldn’t be prouder to welcome such wonderful individuals to our family.” 

Esther returned the smile, “And I can say likewise.” 

The two women both did the last button, a symbol of unconscious of unity, 

~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~* 

Willa paced the backstage area of the Globe. She fiddled with her ring, and did her best to hold back tears. Nerves and excitement were consuming her, and the pacing was helping her exert that energy. She watched as Molly twirled in her dress, happily chanting “I get my daddy today” in her singing voice. Johanna, Emma, and Sarah sipped on champagne, and the mothers and fathers chatted excitedly together about the union of their families. Winston, dressed in a bow tie and tails sat close to Willa, sensing her anxiety and offering her support. 

Johanna placed a flute of champagne in Willa’s hand and she sipped, enjoying the bubbly feeling that enveloped her, and the warm calm that the alcohol embraced her with. “Nothing can go wrong.” was Jo’s reminder. 

Something though, even with the relaxed feeling around her, was nibbling in the back of her mind. 

The wedding planner was calling out directives and reminders as the moments to the processional ticked away. Friends and family found their seats, and Willa could hear the low tones of voices in the open theatre. She shook, a wave of anxiety coursing through her and her staggered breathing alerted Johanna to her friend in need, “He’s the performer. Not I. I’m just nervous over being in front of people.” 

Jo chuckled a bit and poured a glass of water for Willa, “It will be over before you know it. Just try to be as relaxed as you have been all day.” 

“God, if I faint.” 

“I’ll be right behind you. Don’t lock your knees and just focus on him. That’s all that matters.” 

“And the vows, what if I flub them?” 

“That’s when you speak from your heart. And the way it is with you two, I know you won’t.” Jo tucked a stray hair behind Willa’s ear and smiled at her friend, “Yours is truly a definition of what love is.” 

Willa rolled her eyes, “So sappy, Jo.” It had to be nerves that was eating at her. As simple as that, her overthinking at the last minute. 

“If we’re speaking of sappy, then I should have put toothpaste along with the favors. You two are sickly sweet. Cavity inducing even. Rotting all the teeth in England.” 

“I’m positive that I’ve had no hand in that misfortune.” Willa picked up her bouquet of thistle, sweet-pea’s, lavender, daisies and peonies, a floral mix of Tom and Willa; Shakespeare, Molly and Whimsy, “If I barf, Jo?”

The music cued masking Jo’s laugh; “Aim for the aisle, and not your dress. Barfing should only be reserved for too much Champs and a husband to hold your hair back.” 

Willa laughed, “I’ll keep that in mind.” 

The wedding coordinator feverishly lined everyone up; the ushers, which included Luke as Best Man, Chris Hemsworth, Tom’s childhood friend Charlie and Benedict Cumberbatch. Willa looked at the all-star lineup of men, all kissing her on the cheek before they made their way to a waiting Tom at the altar. She felt her heart race, and her knees wobbled as she watched each sister, then finally Johanna leave her behind with only Molly and her father. 

“Mommy, I’m nervous.” a whisper that was barely audible hit Willa’s ears. 

“I am too, yet this is a special ceremony for both of us. Daddy and Johanna are waiting for you and all the people are just friends. It’s like a movie, Molly.” Willa hoped her words would calm her daughter, as the coordinator lead Molly and Winston to the door, “Sprinkle lots of petals, and I will be right behind you.” 

Molly looked back and both Willa and her grandfather gave her a reassuring nod, “Right behind you, muffin.” he said as she prepared for her moment down the aisle. 

Molly took her first steps down the aisle, and Willa peeked out from behind the door. The smile that Tom wore as Molly walked towards him melted her heart. His lips were pressed tight together into a smile, and his eyes began to redden; a sign that he was holding back tears. Molly, focused on him and Johanna, littered her petals in the aisle. Tom knelt down to her when she reached the altar, kissed her cheek and she wrapped her arms around him. 

The music changed to the wedding processional and Willa shook with nerves. The coordinator lead her father to the center of the doorway as the doors opened. The crowd turned to watch as Willa took her father’s arm from behind the door and joined him with a few small steps. The small crowd gave a collective “oh” as the pair made their way through the circle theatre. 

Tears were now evident in Tom’s eyes and she saw them staining his cheeks. His first look at his Bride; lips forming the word “wow”, hands then covering his mouth to control the emotion that overcame him. Willa’s own emotion welled, kept lodged in her throat with her smile, cheeks reddening as his stare bore through her; and through it all she felt as she was floating on air. 

The walk to the altar felt eternal, Willa feeling every heartbeat pound in her chest, and boom in her ears drowning out sound around her. It was only when the priest asked her father the endearing question of passage to Tom, and James’ “I do” did her anxiety slowly subdue as her hand was placed into Tom’s. She handed her bouquet to Jo and placed her other hand in Tom’s; her grip on him vice like, “Relax.” he whispered, “it’s only formality.” 

Willa drew a deep breath, her focus plainly on Tom as the priest began his proceedings. He told of a story of struggle and strength, of survival and the notion that love will conquer all. All in attendance knew of Willa’s story, and most of all they knew of the love both Tom and Willa had for each other. 

“Now, I am told that the bride and the groom have written their own vows to each other. Thomas, you have the floor.” 

Tom cleared his throat, and inhaled deeply and squeezed her hands, “I went for a run one rainy afternoon, a path that I had taken several times before without incident. I knew the puddles, the hills and the curves, yet I didn’t know of one specific little girl pedalling as fast as she could. She flipped over the handlebars and in turn I flipped for her mother and of course the thrill seeking bike rider.   
I suppose that this is where I am to make you a list of promises. Promises that consist of unconditional love and respect, and of nurture and health. Promises that have been in place since the moment we reconnected, promises that were instilled in me as a youth, to cherish those that make a home in your heart. Promises that should be adhered to daily. I do promise Willa, I do vow those simple human qualities and I vow to you so much more. I’ve made a small list of these so-called promises that will only grow as we both grow old together. A list that, just like the other promises are adhered to daily and as needed.” He gave her a smirk and a wink then began his list, “Willa I will always promise you the last biscuit with tea, no matter what type biscuit it is. I promise you a dance daily if only to the song of our hearts. I promise to slaughter any spider that threatens your existence no matter how small. And to watch any and all Mr. Bean with you no matter the hour.   
As your best friend, I vow to listen to your successes and encourage you through your failures. In the moments that you fear, and the past presents itself to you, I will hold you and protect you until you have comfort.   
Willa, I could stand here for an eternity with my list as it never ends. My love, my heart stands before me and I plan to use eternity to show you, unconditionally, how honored I am to be your husband. This ring is a circle filled with millions of promises, each one sealed with my love for you.” He took the ring from Luke and placed it on her finger, folding her hand in his, “This ring encapsulates all that is me, to you.” 

“Now, Willa. Your turn.” 

Willa inhaled sharply and laughed, “Never follow an actor that has a double first at Cambridge.” Which elicited a laugh from their witnesses, “And I suppose ‘ditto’ would be the easy way out, and as you know, I never opt for the easy way out. I too went for a walk that one rainy afternoon, a path familiar and my head mucked from an appalling past. My daughter was thrill seeking, got away from me and flew into the shins of what is now the love of my life. A much needed friend, counsel and one hell of a lover. Thomas you gave me my life back. A life I was unsure existed. You taught me how to love again. I vow to you, Tom, to be your biggest fangirl and cheer the loudest at every performance. I vow to you my heart, and honesty, to rely on your heart and soul when I need it. I will be yours in plenty and in want, in sickness and in health, in failure and in triumph. I will dream with you, celebrate with you and walk beside you through whatever our lives may bring. You are my solid foundation, my wanker, My Tom.” Willa sniffled once and took the ring from Johanna; then slipped it on Tom's finger. “To me this ring represents my love for you. A pulse of my lifebreath, a continual knowledge of everything you are to me, Tom. With this ring, we become one, a family, invincible. 

“Now this is where I typically tell the groom to kiss his bride, but we have one extra special vow to make. Molly, please stand before your parents.” 

Molly, puzzled, moved to the middle of Tom and Willa. Luke handed Tom a small box and Tom kneeled to face her. “Not only do I marry today, but I also become a father. Molly, you’ve showed me a whole new world, of living life to the fullest, and to march to your own drummer. You are the light of my life, Sweet Pea, and I promise you all the world and I thank you for allowing me to be your father. “ He opened the box and pulled out a necklace with a sweet pea charm, and clasped it around Molly’s neck. “You are my daughter, my child, my first.” 

He kissed Molly’s cheek and took her hand as Willa took her other. He stood to face Willa, tears now not holding back, “Now, you may kiss your bride, Tom.” Without hesitation, Tom leaned in, his lips firmly on Willa’s which parted slightly to let him in. He cupped her face with his free hand, thumb rubbing a tear away from her cheek as their audience erupted in cheers around them. “All You Need Is Love” filled the speakers around them, and Willa laughed, remembering their proposal. 

 

“I now present to you, Tom, Willa and Molly. The Hiddleston Family!” The priest bellowed as they walked down the aisle hand in hand. 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

The sign of having a great wedding planner was that the guests were ushered into the Swan Under the Globe for a cocktail hour which allowed Tom, Willa and Molly those first few semi-solitary (there was a photographer) moments to breathe in their union. Tom, who had used due diligence to keep his emotion in check, finally allowed himself to cry, picking up Molly and clutching Willa close to his chest, “Happiest day of my life right here.” 

Molly reached into her dress pocket and pulled out the folded up picture she had been working on earlier. It showed the three of them, in the same manner of the one she drew when Tom first made his way into her life, the first time the three of them enjoyed a day together at the London Zoo. This time they were dressed in wedding attire, with four extra smaller people next to Molly and Winston. 

“Who are the other four?” Willa asked, as the three sat down, Molly taking her place in the middle. 

She smiled brightly and furrowed her eyebrows, “My sisters and brothers of course!” 

“Four?” Tom held his laugh as he caught Willa’s astonished look, “Well Willa, she did predict our union.” 

Willa offered him her own furrowed brow, then laughed, knowing that that bit of innocence still lived in Molly and that she too was excited for their future. “It’s a beautiful picture Molly. We’ll put it up with the other.”   
Molly danced her joy, allowing her dress to swirl around her as her parents watched. Tom leaned in and kissed Willa, smiles present on both their lips, “Any different?” She asked, “Now that we’re married?” 

His chuckle was deep in his chest, “Every time I kiss you Willa it’s intoxicating. Now though, it’s something I know I will always hunger for. There will never be enough kissing you.” 

She felt herself blush, “You're a sot. Even though I can say the same.” 

Another kiss, and a scoff from Molly,”Ew. Gross.” Which in turn made Tom rise and chase her. He picked her up and spun her around, planting several kisses on her cheeks through her giggles. 

“Tom and Willa.” The planner was quiet in her entrance, letting the family have their moment, “Whenever you’re ready to join your guests.” 

Tom placed Molly gently on her feet, and reached his hand out to Willa. “Have I told you how beautiful you are?” 

“Today? Only several hundred times, in voice and in emotion.” 

“Well, let’s make it several hundred more, my gorgeous girl. Both of my gorgeous girls.” 

*~*~**~*~*~*~* ~

The music could be heard and felt through the hallway, which was turned into a magical alley straight out of a Midsummer's Night Dream. Mossy greens and shades of purples and silvers offset by candle and twinkling lights lead the way to the ballroom. A quick peak inside showed an ethereal setup, with Wisteria, thistle, sweet peas and peonies, the scent soft and intoxicating, far from overwhelming. It was a dream and Willa squeezed Tom’s hand to make sure she wasn’t involved in her imagination. She could hear the murmur of their guests over the music, a live band that was playing an acoustical number of (xx) to set the ambience. 

The song ended, and the band leader began to make the announcement of the newlyweds arrival. A version of Daft Punk’s, “Get Lucky” began to play, and the guests cheered “It is my pleasure to introduce to you, for the for the first time, Tom and Willa Hiddleston!” 

Arms linked, and a flutter in her heart from hearing her new name out loud for the first time, they entered the ballroom and Willa could have sworn she was flying. Tom lead her to the dance floor where he took her in his arms, the lights dimmed more, and a circle formed around them as the sweet strumming introduction to the Rolling Stones’ “Wild Horses” began. 

The song, lyrically defining them had long been a favourite of both Willa and Tom. 

“Childhood living is easy to do  
The things you wanted I bought them for you  
Graceless lady you know who I am  
You know I can't let you slide through my hands  
Wild horses couldn't drag me away  
Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away  
I watched you suffer a dull aching pain  
Now you've decided to show me the same  
No sweeping exit or offstage lines  
Could make me feel bitter or treat you unkind  
Wild horses couldn't drag me away  
Wild, wild horses couldn't drag me away  
I know I've dreamed you a sin and a lie  
I have my freedom but I don't have much time  
Faith has been broken tears must be cried  
Let's do some living after we die  
Wild horses couldn't drag me away  
Wild, wild horses we'll ride them some day  
Wild horses couldn't drag me away  
Wild, wild horses we'll ride them some day”

Their dance was slow, simple and even with all the people in that ballroom there was no one on their plane of existence but them. His hand tight on her waist as he floated her across the floor, mindful of her feet that even after nearly a year, gave her pain. 

He buried his nose in the crook of her neck as his emotion overwhelmed him again, the thought of losing her, the memory of her near death and beyond any recognizable form, the thought that he could have been denied this beautiful moment. She was here, strong willed and adamant, free from the terror and safe in his arms. 

She tasted his tears when he kissed her, long and slow, knowing there were watching eyes yet he hinted at his need for her; his love for her. “I don’t want this dance to end.” His voice was a whisper, and it erupted her skin into goosebumps. 

“It doesn’t have to.” 

“Willa Elizabeth Hiddleston.” Her name was music with his voice. The final reminder gone from her life, the surname that she carried until both her and Molly could change it, had been lifted. It was freeing and she felt the weight it had subdued her with disappear. 

“Say it again?” 

And he did. And the music continued. 

*~*~*~*~**~ 

The gift of celebration was never wasted. Music was continuous and after dinner and the cutting of the most beautiful cake (Four tiered Naked Vanilla Bourbon cake, decorated with fruit and flowers), the band was replaced by a DJ and the party officially began. 

The bass beats thumped, and the groom and his bride relegated their seats to the dance floor. And they danced. And they danced hard. Willa found herself being spun and twirled, and playfully toying with her husband as friends asked for her hand to dance. 

Willa’s feet began to ache. The constant somber reminder of a past life. She kissed her husband, told him she was going to sit out for a few songs. He nodded and gestured to sit with her, but she insisted he stay and continue to celebrate. 

She sat at their table and sipped the ice water as she watched. Johanna saw her quick escape and plopped herself into the chair next to Willa. 

“I will say, this is the best party I’ve been too!” She motioned to a waiter to bring her and Willa a cocktail and he nodded. 

“It has been rather fun.” Willa agreed, watching as Molly planted her feet onto Tom’s and danced with him. 

“Are you feeling okay? Earlier you were all collywobbled.” 

Willa nodded, “My feet ache. A good ache. I’m on cloud nine.” 

The waiter returned with two cocktails, and then picked up a card that was on his tray, “Milady, a gentleman told me to give this to you.” 

He went to hand her the card and Willa stopped him, “The gift table is in the outer hallway. Place it there and I will get it later.” 

“Ma’am, he insisted it reach you now.” 

Willa furrowed her brow, “Who?” 

The waiter turned to the bar, and quickly looked back at Willa, “The gentleman was right there, his face was covered with a scarf though, he said he was with the band.” 

Willa felt her heart race and she swallowed hard as she glanced at Johanna. “Don’t open it Willa.” She disobeyed her friend, and as she read the contents went as white as the dress. “Willa.” 

Willa couldn’t breathe as the anxiety attack paralyzed her, and a cold sweat began on her brow, “Jo.” 

Jo grabbed Willa by the arm and the card in the other hand and rushed to the private washroom closest to them. She helped Willa sit on the large ottoman, and she ran towels under cold water and placed them on Willa’s forehead, then filled a paper cup and had her sip slow, “Breathe, love.” 

Willa tried to calm herself as Johanna read the card; “I should offer my congrats, whore. Instead I will offer you terror. I will be far, I will be close. I’ll let you enjoy your fake little life with your pretty boy for some time. Then, I’ll return. You’ll never know when or where. I am alive. - Jack.” 

Johanna exhaled a bit of fright welling in her body, “I’ll go get Tom.” 

Willa grabbed her friend, ice cold hands and fear in her eyes, “No! Not yet! I’ll tell him, not now.” 

Johanna sat next to Willa and embraced her, “It can’t be him, he’s dead. It has to be an imposter, some deranged fan or something. It can’t be.” 

“Maybe. It’s possible.” Willa sipped the water, her throat dry and wrought with fear, “I can’t dwell on this Jo. I can’t. He can never, he will never destroy me.” 

The shaking in Willa’s voice spoke a different story, “Promise me you will tell Tom. Promise?” 

“When the timing is right. Keep this, “she handed Johanna the card, “It cannot be now.” 

Knowing Willa’s stubbornness, and want to keep things bottled, Jo pleaded, “Just don’t wait until it’s too late.” 

Willa heaved a sigh, “I promise on my life, I won’t.”


	26. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Could this be real? Is he truly back?

Chapter Twenty - Four 

Willa’s head was spinning. It wasn’t from the somewhat enjoyable vertigo from the Champagne, where it would ebb and flow with each glass from the plethora of toasts to the newly married couple. It was the uncertain fear, the swell of anxiety; the unabashed want to run that replaced that free and wonderful feeling. Was he still there in the hall? Was he watching them as they danced? Spying on them and planning revenge? Or maybe it wasn’t him at all, but an overzealous fan? Her mind wrought with questions and panic, and how? How did he live? How does she tell Tom? 

She inhaled, her breathing sharp and worrisome, “We need to get back out there, Jo. I need to pretend nothing is wrong. And maybe there is nothing wrong, and this is a cruel, sick joke.” 

Johanna looked at the letter then squeezed Willa’s hand, “Perhaps it is, I think though that maybe you and Tom should begin to make your way back to the hotel sooner rather than later.” 

Willa nodded in agreeance, “It is a sick joke, isn’t it?” Her tone was anguished looking for any form of reassurance. 

Jo ran a washcloth under the sink, soaking it with cold water. She blotted Willa’s brow, then dabbed her eyes careful of the makeup, “Even if it is, I don’t want to take any chances.” She helped Willa up, who wobbled a bit on her shaky legs, “I think you’ve had too much champagne, and that’s the excuse we’ll use to get you to your car. I’ll inform your groom that his bride needs doting.” She forced a smile as she fixed a stray hair from Willa’s headband, “You still better enjoy yourself. Regardless, you have married one stand up guy.” 

Willa smiled back, feeling the strength within her, “I have. And I will tell him. I promise.” 

Jo took Willa’s hands, and kissed her cheek; “Next time, we’ll make sure he’s dead and buried.” 

Willa wanted to laugh, and could only bring her eyes up to Jo, “Let’s go find my husband.” 

~*~*~*~**~~* 

Tom was still in dance mode when Jo approached him on the floor. She tapped him on the shoulder, and his big grin acknowledged her, “Your wife, “ she emphasized “wife,” “has had a bit too much to drink.” 

He stopped dancing and turned to see Willa sitting at the table with her mother, who was feeding her crackers. He laughed as he looked at her, cheeks flushed, and her hair was beginning to fall around her face, “She looks a bit plastered I’d say.” 

“If you want to do more than just sleep, I think it would be best to bid your guests farewell.” she nudged him and winked, and his belly laugh followed, “I’ll tell the coordinator and get your things ready.” 

Tom made his way to Willa, who caught his eye and grinned as he walked towards her, hiding any and all of her anxieties. “I’ve had too much, and I haven’t had you,” she said as she pulled him close to her. 

He laughed then kissed her cheek, “I think we need to remedy that then.” 

“And this dress is getting itchy.” 

“I can remedy that too.” 

She leaned in and kissed him deeply, “I’m sure you can.” 

The guests lined the pathway to the awaiting antique Bentley, sparklers creating a tunnel that Tom and Willa ran under and slipped into the open door. Willa’s eyes surveyed the crowd, heart reluctant that no one was unrecognizable. The driver closed the door behind the couple and whisked them back to the Savoy, where the Bridal Suite awaited them. 

The main room was decorated with arrangements from the ceremony. The light floral scent calmed Willa’s nerves, and Toms firm grasp on her hand kept her mind focused on him. A cart of some savory hors d'oeuvres and sweets was set up along with a selection of teas and of course, more champagne, knowing that the couple barely had time to eat at their reception and were famished from their celebrating. 

The quiet in the room was deafening, allowing Willa’s mind to wander back to those words on that card. “What’s on your mind?” he could read her, and she knew now was still not the time. 

“It’s so quiet now.” She moved to the sound system and began a playlist, one that they had both created for this night. Music that they felt intimate with, music that as a couple defined them. 

He took her in his arms and held her close to his body, gently swaying her to the music, “It’s the best type of quiet. You, Me, Married and now alone.” 

“Hmmmmm, Mr. Hiddleston. What shall we do?” 

“I can think of several things, Mrs. Hiddleston. Many of which require less clothing.” 

Their kiss was full of desire. Long, languid; tongues dancing together as they too danced. Tom broke the kiss, and his long fingers created a trail that began at her temple and ended at her breast, her skin a mess of goosebumps. 

He shrugged off his jacket, laying it on the chair, and returned his attention back to Willa, still dressed in her gown that continued to leave him breathless. “As beautiful as you are in this gown, to me you are most beautiful when there’s nothing on your skin.” 

She rolled her eyes and offered him a smile, “You’re more of the piece of art than I will ever be.” 

“That’s where you are wrong my love. I will forever remind you how you are a masterpiece and that I delight every time you allow me to feast my eyes on you.” His fingers trailed down her arm to her waist and watched as the goosebumps rose behind it, “And now as my wife…” 

Another deep kiss cut him short, Willa’s hand pulling him close and fingers running through his hair, “I need you.” she said barely audible as her teeth grazed his ear. 

His goose bumps rose on his skin as did his desire to tear the gown off of her. He inhaled as spun her around, and the small army of buttons presented themselves to him. One at a time as he kissed her shoulders and the nape of her neck, finally freeing her from the intricate bodice and the dress pooled around her feet. 

The blue Jenny Packham slip circled her as the dress created a gust as it fell, and Willa shivered as the cold air hit her bare and exposed skin. Her nipples reacted as well, standing taut in their chilled yet now free environment.In an instant, Tom’s palm, both rough and gentle, brushed against one causing her to gasp and simultaneously felt the electricity of her arousal travel from breast to the core of her most intimate area.   
He scooped her into his arms and carried her to the bed where they had begun their day with innocence, and would now end it with a carnal need for each other. She made quick work of the bowtie and the buttons on his shirt, leaving a trail as he walked with her and gently placed on the turned down bed. 

There was no hesitation, and his lips found hers as he straddled her, his trousers joining the mess on the floor. His teeth then nipped her neck, lips and tongue blazing a trail to his desired destination, taking a nipple into his mouth and sucked. She arched to him as she held his head to her breast, wanting to feel more of him against her. She could feel how hard and rigid he was against her, her free hand finding him and he hissed as she gave him a gentle stroke. 

He thrust against her hand, feeling the warmth of her skin and the coolness of the silk of her lingerie against him. The sensory overload, mixed with the scent of her arousal began to make his head swim with uncontrollable feral lust. He wanted to please her, hear her scream, moan as he pleasured her, yet he needed to feel his cock surrounded by her. 

“Tom.” Willa spoke in a barely audible squeak as his fingers slipped into her folds, her wetness telling him she was more than ready for him, “God, just fuck me please.” He didn’t need any more prompting. 

He slipped in slow, a tease to himself and her as she adjusted around him. Her legs wrapped around him, and he sank deeper, putting him in pure oblivion. He then began his thrust, and the animal within him took over. 

He caught her eye and held her gaze as he moved within her. Kissing her with a savage fervor, then left his mark on her neck. He felt her fingernails scrape down his back, her hands grabbing onto his ass to pull him deeper into her. He always feared he would break her when their sex was ferocious, yet she insisted on wanting him more and wanting it intense. 

Willa slipped her hand between them and circled her over sensitive clit. He was about to climax, and she was going to join him. His face was twisted with lust, and teeth gnashed together, his thrusts manic, hard and unrestrained. Her moans and cries drove him even more insane as she called his name and begged him for more. His heart raced as he climaxed, she pulled him closer as he filled her, claiming her as his and collapsed his weight on top of her. 

Panting from exertion, they broke out into a fit of giggles. Tom gave a couple more half-hearted thrusts as he softened inside her, the rolled to the spot next to her, “Bloody hell I hope we never lose that.” her voice was more of an exhale, lungs still trying to reclaim oxygen.

“I had expected to make love to you tonight,” he turned his face to her, a lopsided grin present on his face, “And I sure as hell will make sure that we will never lose that.” 

She laughed then climbed on top of him, straddling his chest, “We have all night to make love. Right here, in the shower, oooooh the tub again; or are you knackered, old man?” 

“Needy Hen.” he said between her kisses. 

“I’m needy?” She brushed the thick mass of curls from his forehead back and kissed the fading scar that lay near the center, “then you’re insatiable.” 

“Admittedly.” 

She rolled her eyes and giggled as he flipped her onto her back, “Needy and Insatiable. We’re the perfect match then.” 

He kissed her forehead, then her nose, then her lips, “None better.” 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

The card and its words weighed heavy on Willa’s mind. While their lovemaking was a deterrent from those thoughts, they still were prominent, and she feared both telling him and the presumed resurrection of Jack. The writing on the card, while sloppy, resembled Jack’s handwriting. Was it on purpose, was he still so injured that he couldn’t hold a pen? She thought long and hard about the people around her this evening. Not friends and family, but the waiters, usher, members of the band, caterers. None seemed to be hiding their face or themselves. Could he have sneaked into their reception? The questions buzzed in her mind and stung her like a million bees. 

“Are you going to tell me what’s been on your mind my beautiful wife, or are you going to pretend that there is nothing and tell me not to worry.” He leaned her back against him in the tub filled with bubbles, both luxuriating in the warm water as sore muscles were winning from an evening of dancing and sex. 

“What, that I’ve had two baths today, and I married a wonderful man? You’re assuming I'm lost in my thoughts,” she replied as she watched water drops drip from her fingers to his knee. 

“I assume nothing; I know my bride.” 

She chuckled as he kissed her neck, “Well I can assure you that you are incorrect. It’s been a very long and lovely day.” 

“I can agree with you on that it has been a long and lovely day, yet I can’t agree on the peculiar way your mind tells me not all is well with my Wills.” 

“Tom, it’s nothing.” 

“If it were nothing, you wouldn’t so subconsciously advertise your strife.” She sighed heavily and didn’t reply, “So I’m correct?” 

“Do you want to bicker on our wedding night?” She stood from the bath, the cold air immediately chilling her, and grabbed a plush robe from the towel warmer, “There’s nothing wrong, there’s nothing on my mind, there’s nothing to talk about.” 

She stepped from the tub and made her way out to the living area of the suite. The sloshing of water from the tub behind her told her that Tom would soon be joining her. She poured some tea as she heard his wet footsteps and sat on the ottoman, purposely sitting away from him. “Willa I don’t want to bicker. I’m sorry. I’m reading you incorrectly.” 

She sipped her tea. The Chamomile warmed her from her throat to her belly, yet it didn’t comfort her like it normally would. A deep exhale escaped her, and she kept her back to him, “I’d rather not talk about it. Not now. Not tonight.” 

It was the tone of his voice that made her admit to him that he wasn’t wrong. She couldn’t lie to him, and at the same time did not want her wedding night ruined by what could be a cruel joke. She wanted him to stop peppering her with questions and she hoped this bit of honesty from her would make him cease. 

There wasn’t any gloating of his correctness; he knew from her tone that whatever it was bothered her and that she would open up to him like she had with all the other things. He kissed the top of her head as he sat next to her, “Of course, Willa.” 

“It’s getting rather late. I think maybe we should get some rest.” 

She feared that they would continue on this path, an awkward feeling already building between them, that the information she was withholding would ruin the night of their consummation when all she wanted was to feel Tom’s love, and not the terror that was bubbling inside of her. He sensed her void, and wouldn’t argue her wanting to turn in. She was hiding something from him again and recalled all the times in the past that she withheld things and the horrible things that would usually come to fruition or haunt them in the present. The past was the past, though, and he wouldn’t make her recall her horrors. 

He nodded his agreeance to her and held his hand out for her. “If rest is what you’d prefer, then rest it will be.” 

She smirked as she wrapped her hand around his and he helped her up, “Is that all that’s on your mind, besides your obvious worry about what’s running through mine? Sex?” 

“Eh eh eh eh, when the heavens grant me this beautiful woman and she allows me to make her my wife. I can’t lie to you Willa and say that that has been very arousing.” 

She kissed him and snuggled into his embrace, “If you can call that charming…” 

He kissed her head again and squeezed her gently, “I thought I called that arousing.” 

“Wanker.” 

*~*~*~*~*~* 

If Willa could have tossed and turned, she would have. Wrapped tight in Tom’s protective hold she lay awake and restless, not wanting to move for fear of waking him and petrified of the images in her mind. Every time Willa would close her eyes Jack appeared, and those memories that she had fought hard to repress were in full cinematic mode. Jack’s voice was again loud and demeaning, reminding her of the words he used to keep her down, and that she worked so hard to forget. Tears fell from her eyes, careful to hide the sobs and that the tears fell onto her pillow. 

She watched the clock tick away the time which felt stuck in suspended animation. The music still played, classical strings filled the room with their melodies, which usually helped ease her to sleep all deemed useless. She could feel Tom’s breath on her neck, rhythmic and warm, and she wondered what he could be dreaming of when he would make peaceful sleeping noises, laugh or mumble in his sleep. When she found comfort in his company, she closed her eyes and the images would creep back into view. Willa was tired and wanted to sleep, and knew that she had to tell him. 

She laced her fingers with his and began kissing them, a maneuver she hoped would wake him. He shifted and pulled her close to him; a pleasure filled groan emanated from his lips. He nuzzled her neck with his nose, and she fought to keep her arousal at bay, “And here I thought you were exhausted, Wills.” 

His voice was thick with sleep when he spoke, finally releasing her enough to allow her to turn towards him, “I am, and that’s why I woke you.” she said. “I can’t sleep because I need to tell you what’s going on, and I should have been honest when you asked.” 

Hearing the exhaustion in her voice, he opened his eyes to see the worry in hers starting right at him. “What’s going on, Willa.” She sat up as she felt the panic well and held the sheet close to her naked body. Concerned, Tom joined her, placing his hand on the small of her back to comfort and to help ease the panic attack that was shrouding her, “Willa.” 

She fought for her breath, and the hot tears streamed down her cheeks. She pointed to her tote bag that sat in a chair across from their bed, her words staccato as the anxiety took its hold, “It’s. In. There.”

He climbed from the bed and crossed the room in two strides. He reached in and pulled out the envelope with scribbled writing on the front, “This?” Willa nodded her answer as he opened it. 

He opened it and with furrowed brow read the words, all while Willa broke down. He looked at her, then back at the card, “This can’t be, Willa. I saw him. I saw him lying there dying. Johanna and I left when he coded. This can’t be real. It has to be a cruel joke. Who gave this to you?” 

“A waiter. He brought it to me and said it came from a man sitting at the bar, that said he was with the band and had his face covered. I looked Tom, and there was no one there!” 

Tom joined her on the bed and took her in his arms. She shook as he held her, trying to be the calming center through her fear. “Shhhh. Willa, I’ll find out who did this, okay? I’ll have Luke call Detective MacKenzie and make him aware of this in the morning. Shhhhhh.” He kissed her head as she sobbed hiding his fear from her, “This is just a cruel joke, Willa. He’s dead. You’ve nothing to worry about.” 

“Is he really, though?” she cried. 

“Willa, I am positive. I saw him that day in the hospital. He was dying. He coded.” 

“Is it possible? He’s a great manipulator. Maybe Alistair is hiding something from us?” 

Tom tightened his embrace around her, “Willa; I honestly do not think so. This card has to be a joke from someone wrapped in jealousy wanting to spoil our day.” 

She sniffled, “Jack.” 

“Someone other than a dead man, that’s not too fond of our relationship.” 

“The writing, though, it’s similar.” 

“Wills. Please. I need you to relax. Whoever did this wanted you to react this way? I will have this checked out. I won’t take this lightly; I love you, and I refuse to let anything happen to you, ever again.” She nodded, and he accepted her belief in him, no matter how false it may have been. Tom looked at the card once more and tucked it away back in her bag. “Can I get you to relax? I want you to rest. He’s taken way too many nights of sleep from you.” 

He handed her a glass of water that he poured from the carafe on the night table, and she drank as she tried to reclaim her peace. She heaved another final sob and put her faith and trust in him; her husband, her Tom. “You’re right. You are very right.” 

“This has you riled, and you are worried. Willa, don’t let this mar our union. We’ll get to the bottom of this.” She nodded again and lay back down on her pillow, breath still trying to regulate itself yet she was calmer. “In the morning, I will get with Luke. I promise.” 

“Okay.” 

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* 

The sun peeked through the clouds and streamed through the curtains; dancing on the two sleeping forms. The sunlight woke Willa slowly from a fitful sleep. Her body ached from the sex, from the hours of dancing and mostly from the sheer panic and fear that had coursed through her body. She stretched, and Tom began to wake next to her, “Did you sleep?” He asked, voice thick and gravelly. 

“A bit.” she answered, “and not well.” 

He sat up on his elbow, and she leaned in to kiss him, “I’ll call Luke in a moment.” 

“Alright.” She left the bed and went to the washroom to splash her face. She looked in the mirror as the water trickled down her cheeks and she looked tired; frightened, happy AND tired if it was possible. She slipped into the yoga pants and t-shirt that was hung on the rack as she heard Tom call that he had ordered some breakfast and tea. 

She made her way out to the balcony and breathed in the fresh morning air. She heard the one-sided conversation between Tom and Luke as he discussed the card and Willa’s fear, the speculation surrounding it. 

There was a pounding on the door, with room service announcing their arrival. Willa heard a vocal commotion followed by a clatter of falling plates and silverware. Concerned with the yelling and commotion, she got up to investigate, curious as to what was going on. Tom sounded panicked, a rare panic in his voice that made her anxiety rise. 

Tom stood there, brow furrowed in pain and a horrified look on his now pale face. His hands clutched his stomach, and the bright red stain began to grow around his shirt and droplets dripped from his hands, “Willa. Run.” 

She opened her mouth, and nothing came out, fear had paralyzed her. A figure rose behind Tom as he collapsed to his knees, and the dagger that Tom had pulled from his body clanged loudly on the tile floor. Her mind told her to do one million things at once, and her body would not agree to any of them. “Tom.” 

The figure then spoke, a voice strangled, yet very familiar. “I gathered sooner would be more fun and less expectant than later.” The man's face covered with a scarf except for those familiar eyes. “Didn’t he tell you to run, Wiillllssssss?” 

“Jack…” the name rose with the bile in her throat. 

“Willa, GO!” Tom demanded as he reached for the fallen dagger. 

Jack picked up the dagger from the floor and stood over a helpless Tom, “Oh no, Tommy Boy. She wants to watch.” He thrust Tom’s neck back, baring his throat to her, and laughed viciously. 

“I love you, Willa. Run.” Tom gasped. 

Jack mocked Tom’s words in a child-like manner and sneered, “Cunt doesn’t deserve love.” 

The mottled blade caught the sun as it moved, and a blood-curdling scream pierced the morning. And all went dark.


	27. Chapter 25/Epilogue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is where we end this journey and I want to thank each and every one of you that took a moment and joined me on this adventure.   
> I am forever in gratitude! 
> 
> Now, what really did happen in that hotel room?

Regent’s Park - Chapter 25/Epilogue 

Sound travels at an approximate rate of 350 meters a second under normal circumstances. Alarms are tuned to such frequencies so that decibels can reach those that need to take warning, slicing through the sound pollution of the day and the depths of slumber by night. Screams are one of the loudest and alarming sounds a human body can produce when subjected to fear or panic. Along with a morose wail that charges the pained and emotional capacities, both sounds trigger a human need for help or comfort.   
Mixed, the horrific call emitted from a human is perpetually nonhuman. Pain, fear, panic wrapped into one anguished sound that one would rarely hear and if they did it would never be forgotten. 

Willa stood there facing their attacker; common sense was insisting she run, and her feet cemented by fear insisted she remains immobile. Red sticky liquid pooled at her feet, and the pungent scent of iron stung her nose. Jack leaped over the lifeless heap towards her and her arms immediately went into a defensive position. She felt his hands on her, and she fought back, using every ounce of strength she had. 

“WILLA!” 

She hit harder as she felt his hold grew stronger on her arms, and kicked with as much force as she could. 

“WILLA!” 

She screamed again as he said her name, her shoulders felt pinned down rendering her arms immobile. 

“WILLA! BABY WAKE UP!” 

Her eyes shot open, and in her fugue state saw no familiarity in the face looking down at her. She screamed again, and as she flailed her legs was able to knee her attacker in the groin. He gasped and released her, and Willa scrambled to the far side of the suite her legs giving out and balled herself into the corner. 

Huddled and covering her head, she heard the conversation, “I need you here now! Grab Luke. Now Jo! Now!” 

“No. No. Not Jo,” Willa wailed as the figure walked closer to her. “She needs to raise Molly.” 

“Willa.” The voice was soft, gentle and affirming which made her draw herself into a tighter ball. “Willa. Wake up love.” He reached his hand out and touched her shoulder. She flinched as she shook and sobbed, cowering away from him, “Wake up. It’s alright.” 

He watched her blink rapidly as her mind finally released her from the internal chaos, assessing what little she could. 

It was him, her Tom, standing in front of her alive, well and full of concern. 

Words wouldn’t form in Willa’s mind, and at that moment she was not comprehending what had occurred. Tom was gone. Murdered before her eyes. She saw it; she saw the blade cut against his throat and his body fall lifeless. She saw the blood pool around him and Jack’s laugh echo through her being. Willa stared at him, peering through the sweat soaked hair that covered her face. 

“You’re not real.” her voice was strained, damaged from her screams. 

“Love, I am real.” He sat before her, still keeping some distance as Willa came around from the night terror. 

The suite's door flew open as Johanna and Luke entered, and Willa jumped. Tom waved to keep them from making any more sudden moves, “It’s Jo and Luke, love.” 

“Jo?” 

“Tom, what happened?” Jo whispered as she slowly walked towards them. “I’m here, Willa.” 

“The worst night terror she’s ever had.” He replied. “I couldn’t get her out of it until now.” 

Willa still cowered in the corner, her sobs filling the suite, “Was that her that screamed?” Johanna asked as she sat down next to Willa. 

“Yes.” 

“Willa,” when Jo reached out, Willa forced herself into her arms, her sobbing was inconsolable, “I’m here. We’re all here. We have you. Let it out.” Jo held her friend tightly and turned her eyes toward Tom, motioning at his injuries, “Did she do that?” 

Tom’s face, arms, and chest were scratched and bleeding, and a bruise was forming on his shoulder, “Yeah, she fought me hard. Kicked me awful too.” 

Luke handed him a wet washcloth and Tom dabbed his bleeding injuries, “Are you okay? Jo asked him. 

“I’ll manage. I’m more concerned for Willa. She’s never had a terror like this. It completely consumed her.” 

Jo cradled her Willa and kissed her hair, “Willa. Are you calming?” Willa nodded yet her body was still physically shaking.   
Tom handed Jo a bottle of water, and she handed it to Willa to drink, “I’m okay. I think I’m okay.” Willa whispered after the few sips cooled her throat. 

“Let’s unfurl you then.” Jo gently placed a bathrobe around Willa’s shoulders and helped her stand. 

She took a few steps, leading towards the sofa and detoured hard into Tom’s body. He was firm and warm against her, real and alive. She sobbed again, hysterical as he wrapped his arms around her as tight as he could without hurting her. “It’s alright. Shhh, shhh, shhh” he comforted as he felt her tears on his skin, the sinking feeling in his heart knowing that she was pained. 

“You’re alive.” 

“I am, “he replied, “I’m not going anywhere.” 

Her legs were still shaky as he eased her to the sofa. Tom sat with her and she curled to him. Her hand was lying flat on his belly then traced his throat, “It was too real. Too real. I feel he’s still here.” 

“Who?” Johanna asked, taking a seat in a chair close to them, “Who’s here?” 

Willa was calmer now. She was still visibly shaken from the night terror, something she hadn’t had in several months. The nightmares still occurred at times, especially when there was a higher level of anxiety in her life. The terrors were more common while she was healing after the attack, and most times she was able to bring herself out of them. From the looks of the faces around her, the pain she felt in her body, and the injuries she caused her soon-to-be husband she knew this one was much different. 

“It started out a great dream. I saw our whole day, from the moment I woke up in your arms Tom, to our first dance at our reception. I saw our ceremony, and our vows and it was all so surreal. It was euphoric and then it all became horrible.” 

Tom kissed the top of her head and squeezed her, “Do you want to talk about it?” 

She inhaled and nodded, taking the cup of tea that Luke had made her. She thanked him and drank, her body grateful for the warmth it gave, “It changed when I was handed this wedding card when I was sitting with Johanna. I read it and, I can remember word for word what it said.’ “I should offer my congrats, whore. Instead, I will offer you, terror. I will be far; I will be close. I’ll let you enjoy your little fake life with your pretty boy for some time. Then, I’ll return. You’ll never know when or where. I am alive. - Jack.” “ she shuddered as she recited the words that appeared in her head, clear as if they had been sitting in front of her. 

“Jack?” Jo furrowed her brow, “Sweetheart he’s gone. He’s dead.” 

“Is he?” Willa retorted quickly, “He was real good at faking things and conning people. In my dream, I had this gut feeling that something was wrong during the wedding. And when he handed that letter to me….” she paused as she recalled the remainder of the nightmare, sipping the tea to compose herself, “We, Tom and I, left the reception to come back here. Everything was normal at that point, and we had an incredible night as newlyweds. You, “Willa took Tom’s hand in hers as she recalled, “you knew something was wrong, that I had something on my mind. At first, I didn’t want to say anything. I didn’t want it to ruin our night. I finally did, though and you were a bit gobsmacked about it. Thinking it was a cruel joke or a jealous fan and that you would have Luke take care of it in the morning, call the detective, and make security aware.” She hesitated again as emotion overcame her. Her face twisted as she tried to hold back the tears, yet they streamed down her face, “In the morning I had gone outside on the balcony, while you ordered breakfast. I heard the knock, and then an intense fight. I came inside…. And you stood there… bloody with a knife in your belly.” She hiccuped the sobs back as she squeezed Tom’s hand, “You told me to run and I couldn’t. I stood there, and he came up from behind you, his face covered with a scarf. I saw you collapse to your knees and the dagger hit the floor. And he spoke, and it was strange and muffled and very familiar, and it was him. It was Jack. He stood over you, Tom, and he pulled your head back, baring your throat to me and said that I wanted to watch and that I didn't deserve happiness. I saw him, Tom, I saw him slit your throat, and I saw the blood pool around my feet, and I smelled the iron in the air. I saw you die, Tom.” Willa’s sobbing filled the suite again, and Tom held her close to him, afraid to let her go after her revelation. “It was all too real.” 

Tom did his best to calm her, gentle shushing sounds, holding her close to his chest so she could hear his heartbeat; hoping that sign of life would relax her anxiety some. “I’m not going to blow this off as a dream.” he said, “I need some favors, Luke and Johanna.” 

At 1:45 in the morning, with no regards for the time, important phone calls were being made. Luke made a call to Alistair, who was more than accommodating, “Sir, I need to obtain Jack’s death certificate and his autopsy report. It’s imperative that Willa sees them. I understand she has a copy of the certificate; this is just to put her at ease.” 

Alastair replied with a very concerned tone, “I will be there first thing in the morning. Can I meet you in the hotel lobby? And no need to apologize, anything to help Willa ease her mind on her and Tom’s wedding day.” 

“If I may, would it be alright if I came to you? I understand the inconvenience. I could be there within the hour.” 

“Of course, of course.” 

“Thank you, sir.” With that, Luke excused himself to head out and pick up the items. 

Johanna called the coordinator, apologizing profusely for waking her. The woman took no apologies as she was quite used to calls like this the day of the wedding. She assured Jo that she would move breakfast to another suite to allow Willa and Tom some extra time to rest, and reminded Jo that she too, needed to sleep, “I’m single and have watched the sun rise more than any human in this hotel. I will be okay.” was her rebuttal. 

The wall clock chimed two am. With things in motion to ease Willa’s mind, Jo excused herself so that Tom and Willa could relax. “You know, I thought I told you that you needed to sleep alone tonight?” Jo laughed as she recalled the wedding eve tradition that she placed on the two, “I’m glad you know her well. I’m happy you were here for her.” 

Tom hugged Jo as he opened the door for her, “I know he’s dead. I saw it with my own eyes how close he was, and you were there when he coded. He has such a grip on her mind at times, something I know she fights hard against, but when she gets anxious, he slips right in.” 

“I hope that bloody cock waffle is burning in Hell.” 

Tom laughed at her use of the insult, “I’m sure he is. Get some rest Jo. We’ll both be needing you in the morning.” 

“Please, make sure she rests.” 

Tom nodded as she left the suite and turned back to Willa, who had laid down on the sofa and he could hear the random sniffle. He closed his eyes and exhaled as he took in what had transpired. The scratches stung and his groin ached from her kick, those small injuries would go away; yet the sheer terror that was apparent in her eyes haunted him. The account of her dream, so vivid and terrifyingly real, shook him too. He came to her room this night because he had sensed her anxiety. He knew she would be restless and he had thought that he being here would put her mind at ease and it, unfortunately, didn’t matter. 

She was curled up, eyes open, still wearing the terror that carried over from her nightmare as he sat down on the sofa, “What can I do to help you?” 

She took his hand and squeezed, “Pinch me.” she replied, “My mind is being stubborn and won’t accept the fact he’s dead. Why today? Why now? Is this a warning?” 

He leaned in and kissed her forehead then gently pinched her arm, “Don’t fault yourself. Your mind gets overactive when you are anxious. We’ll get you through this.” She smiled at the pinch, and her exhale seemed to release her tension, “Shall we go back to bed?” 

Her eyes cast towards him, and she frowned, “I’m not sure I can sleep right now. I’m too scared to close my eyes.” 

“A bath, a shower, slow, gentle love-making?” His eyebrow raised to humor her. 

She laughed at his suggestions, “A shower sounds nice, and some fresh pajamas.” He stood up and held out his hand for her to take, “You still want to marry me after all this?” 

“It makes me want to marry you more.” He assured her as he walked her to the bathroom. “Wild horses, Willa. No matter how hard they try, can’t tear me away.” 

She stripped out of her sweat dampened pajamas as Tom started the water for her, “Join me? Please? I am still a bit shaky.” 

“Of course.” his pajamas soon joined hers on the floor, and he helped her step into the steam filled shower. 

The water was the perfect temperature and Willa ducked her head under the showerhead and let it fall all over her, drenching her panic and terror-stricken body with warmth and comfort. Tom stepped in behind her, feeling the water relax his tensed up body too. The soft scent of the soap surrounded them as he lathered the loofah and began to massage her skin. She turned and did the same, taking note of the injuries she gave him. 

“I'm such a hypocrite. I was running from my abuser only to abuse you.” 

“No, Willa. It’s not like that. Your mind was trapped, and your conscious couldn’t make out the difference at the time.” 

“It’s going to weigh on my mind until I find a solution.” she traced a scratch on his chest and sighed, “And I kicked you! God, I know I kicked you hard down there too. I didn’t…” She looked down at his length, and then back up him, “I never..” 

“Willa. I’m fine. You honestly didn’t kick me hard at all.” 

“Sure. You’re saying that to appease me.” 

“What else would appease you?” 

She shrugged and gently touched his penis, semi-hard from the warm water and her proximity to him, “Does it hurt?” 

“No.” he replied, trying to maintain his composure, “Only my inner thigh is tender.” 

She nodded and wrapped her hand around him, and he responded immediately, “Well, that part still works.” 

He bit his lip, and licked his lips as she stroked him gently, “Yes it does.” 

“Is it bad luck to have sex before your wedding?” she asked as she watched her hand work back and forth on his shaft. 

“Considering we’re breaking Johanna’s separation rule. I think not.” She could tell in his voice the pleasure she was already giving him. 

“Good, because I need you.” 

“It wasn’t at all apparent.” 

He leaned down to kiss her as he backed her against the shower wall, hitching her legs around his waist. He held her easily, as her hand guided his cock inside her, then wrapped her arms around his neck as he thrust gently. “From what they say, an orgasm will help me sleep.” she said between kisses, gasps, and moans. 

“Then you should sleep well, my love.” 

*~*~*~*~*~ 

A soft knock on the door woke them that morning. Able to obtain a few hours’ sleep, they both went to answer, “It’s Luke!” A familiar voice said from the other side of the door. A check through the peephole verified the visitor and Tom let him into the suite. Luke had a folder in his hand, along with two cups of colossal coffees, “I brought some coffee from the tea room downstairs, a bit treasonous I think, though it’s real good coffee. I talked and met with Alastair, and he supplied me all copies of Jack’s death records from autopsy to cremation, even offered me the remains if I wanted, which I felt wasn’t necessary with the information he supplied. It’s his fingerprints; I've viewed all the photos, Willa. I think you should feel at ease.” 

Willa looked through the paperwork, sitting down in the chair as she read each one. Luke even attached one autopsy photo, of Jack's face, to prove his death. She stared at the gray man whose face was bruised and lacerated and there was no denying that it was Jack. The cheekbones, hairline and his lips were recognizable. It was the first time she had seen the photo, and a bit of numbness coursed through her body. 

“Are you alright?” Tom asked noticing the change in her composure. 

“Yeah. This feeling, while it’s a bit numbing is very liberating. Luke, thank you for getting these documents and for this photo. I think I feel guilty for feeling utter joy or is this guilt? I remember as a child that when someone dies, you mourn, you cherish the time they had on Earth. I don’t. I don’t feel any melancholy. What I feel is, is euphoria. And how dare he, how dare he come into my dreams on the night I’m to wed the most beautiful and amazing man and terrorize me. How dare he!” Willa sat for a moment, and collected her thoughts, then smiled, “It’s I that gets to have the last laugh. I get to control my life, to live, breath and thrive. To love when I believed, I wasn’t worthy of it. And he, he got to burn, turned to ashes. And Molly and I…we’ll live a fantastic and loved life, and God we deserve it!” The folder still tight in her hand, she laughed at what she hoped would be her final epiphany and release from Jack’s torment of her and her mind. “Call me a nutter, or slow to learn, but I feel he’s gone. Completely gone. Tom, I feel nothing. I look at his lifeless face and feel... nothing. Maybe that nightmare was his last hurrah, his eviction.”

Tom knelt before her and took her hands in his, “You’re far from a nutter, and if this is the way you perceive this, then there is no wrong way, only your way to close this wound.” 

She smiled at him as he squeezed her hands in his, “I can’t wrap my head around why today.” 

He kissed her fingers and returned her smile, “Because today; everything is new.” 

His words were soft, and they resonated loud in her ears. Today, everything was new. The past had led them to this place, a wedding, new name, new parentage, a new life. He looked at Willa and saw a new energy, one that didn’t have a dark cloud encircling her as she tried to escape her past. She had lived her past, she had owned her past, and now, had remedied her past. While she would always carry the scars as a physical reminder, the scars that she would use to help others escape their personal Hell, she would never be made to relive the nightmare that shrouded her for over ten years. 

“I thoroughly believe it’s time to celebrate, Hiddleston.” she laughed, “And then take a victory lap around Regent’s Park.” 

He chuckled, “Should we walk or run; or perhaps ride our bicycles?” 

Willa laughed as she recounted their reacquainting, Molly’s premonition, and their engagement, “Then a stop at the pub for a draught and a game of darts.” 

“What should be the wager, my gorgeous girl?” 

“A lifetime of love, laughter, and great sex.” 

He raised an inquisitive eyebrow towards her, “Win or lose?” 

She acknowledged Luke as he excused himself, waving as he closed the door behind him, "Hmmmmm, either way. Losing to you does have its privileges, though." 

He leaned in and kissed her, "It could be my face up on the dartboard, next." 

"Not in a million years, wanker," Willa said, the euphoric feeling still holding steady in her heart, "Not in a million years. 

 

EPILOGUE 

18 months later, St Albans, Hertfordshire, UK. 

The whimpering cry of an infant roused Willa from the type of sleep only mothers of newborns knew. A borderline of sleep and wakefulness; a maternal guarding sleep. She stretched, as did the solid form next to her. 

“No worries, I’ll get him.” A gentle, husky and sleepy voice sounded. 

She chuckled under her breath as Tom slipped from beneath the covers to the bassinet that stood close to Willa’s side of the bed, “How do you know it’s him?” 

He leaned over and picked up the fussy, swaddled babe that was growing more demanding by the second, “Oh I know,” he assured, “And I am right. He’s a growing lad.” 

He handed the baby over to Willa’s extended hands, the boy's face, red and angry, immediately turning towards Willa’s breast. The cries quickly sustained, replaced by the soft sound of suckling and newborn grunts. Willa looked down at her son, who had a firm grip on her finger as he nursed, “And you are a growing lad, aren’t you, my sweet Liam James.” 

She caught Tom’s eye as he once again peeked into the bassinet, picking up another swaddled infant “Wide awake aren’t you love? Your brother is alright Elaina Isobel, he’s needing a midnight snack.” he whispered. 

The girl fussed a bit, and Tom placed her to his shoulder, patting her back gently to calm her. “There’s a bottle in the mini-fridge, she may not be content with the wait.” Willa said, concerned that Elaina may become just as hungry. 

Tom sat at the edge of the bed, a weary smile on his face as he looked at his daughter and then at Willa nursing his son. ”She may be content with a new nappy and being held.” Elaina fussed again, and he stood up cradling her close as he began to sway gently, singing softly. The girl calmed, eyes still open focused on her father. He brought her to his lips and kissed her head gently, whispering to her, those sweet fatherly promises and endearments. She could have sworn she saw Elaina smile. 

Willa returned her focus to the nursing infant at her breast. He showed the light blonde curls that were so prominent on his father, and she caressed the baby fine hair on his head. He did smile, pausing while he nursed to curl his barely week old lips into a grin, then continued his voracious suckling. 

Elation. That’s what it was that she felt at that moment. Sleep deprived as any mother with newborn twins would be, she couldn’t imagine her life any different than what it was now. 

Liam unlatched sleepily; milk trickling from his lips as he drifted off into slumber. Making the "switch,” Tom rested Elaina in Willa’s lap, and then took Liam in his arms for a burp and a quick change, quickly stealing a kiss from Willa as he did, “My gorgeous girl.” 

She smiled up at him, then placed Elaina at her other breast. Euphoria mixed in with the elation as she watched Tom with their son, patting Liam’s back and bouncing as he did, the boy’s cheek resting on Tom’s shoulder his eyes fighting sleep as contentment consumed him. He hiccupped twice, and Tom placed him on the bed for a nappy change. 

The girl in Willa’s arms cooed as she lazily nursed, tiny soft fingers splayed on Willa’s breast. Dark brown peach fuzz poked from underneath the cap she was wearing, similar to her sister, and her mother.   
A soft knock on the door interrupted her concentration; Molly stood in the jamb, a look of concern about her as she eyed her parents. 

“I heard them cry and I got worried.” 

Tom waved her over and kissed the top of her head. “They're okay love, just a bit hungry. Would you like to help me finish changing Liam and get him back to sleep?” 

Molly smiled up at him then climbed on the bed. Willa watched the two of them attend to Liam. Molly sat on the bed peering over her brother; Liam wide-eyed and staring at his older sister as Tom changed him. Willa watched as Molly kissed the infant’s head as Tom buttoned the sleeper. 

Tom swaddled the infant and went to the rocking chair with Liam. Willa watched as Molly followed and her mouth twisted into a frown as she sadly realized that there might be no room for her on his lap. Tom noticed her contempt, smiled and said, “Your dad has long legs love, there’s plenty of room here for you too.” 

And with that, she climbed into his lap and snuggled close as he adjusted Liam. He rocked slowly, both children in his arms. Molly fought to stay awake, playing with her brother’s fingers; relaxed in the comfort of Tom’s embrace and his soft tenor singing of a lullaby. Willa watched, as both Liam’s and Molly’s eyes closed and drifted off to slumber. 

“Tell me, Willa,” he said as he continued to rock then kissing Molly’s hair, “Could this be what heaven is?” 

Willa looked down at Elaina who had fallen asleep at her breast, and then at her husband who embraced the other part of their world. A minute flashback entered her mind of the horrors she and Molly had escaped; then of a rebuilt life, and now the love contained in the bedroom they were in, “If I had to guess, it would be yes. If the world ceased to exist at this very moment, I would have to say that I’ve never been happier, content and never felt more loved. That I honestly would never give up the challenges I faced to be right here with you and these three little lives we call our own. That I am so “Uncontrollably excited” about our future and where the road we are on is taking us.  
Elaina hiccuped then sighed as the infant slipped back into slumber, a grin similar to her father's curled on her lips and her hand wrapped tightly around Willa's finger, "Yes, Tom. Right here is heaven.”


	28. A Lesson In Discipline - A Regent's Park One-Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tom has his first hand at discipline with Molly. All fluff, and fun from a parents standpoint.

The crash of the heavy statue was nearly silent, yet Molly felt her insides shatter just like the object did on the floor. She knew better than to play on Tom’s side of the office. She knew better than to touch the plethora of awards he’d achieved and the multitude of handmade items he had received from fans based on certain characters he had played.   
She stared at the bronzed head detached from it’s stand, the crown in pieces around it. A large crack ran its length. Molly clamored to the floor and picked it up, allowing the crack to split the head of the bronzed man in two. Her heart raced. It was clearly unfixable, and fear coursed through her spine. The engraved placard, “Best NewComer In A Play 2008” along with her Daddy’s name gleamed in the dimmed office light. 

Her mind was a race track of thoughts. Would he be angry? Would he punish her? A lecture maybe and perhaps the loss of her books? She felt the tears in her eyes as her panic rose, and Winter her therapy dog, came to her side.”What do I do? I broke it? Daddy’s going to be so mad!” 

The Olivier award was Tom’s first major acting award and he coveted it. It sat next to his desk, between the picture she drew of Tom and her mother and a handcrafted doll of his character Loki. Molly was always fascinated by this doll and by the character he portrayed. She was reaching for the Loki, which she knew was hands off, when she lost balance and knocked the award off it’s shelf. There was a roll of scotch tape on his desk and as any soon to be seven year old, made quick work of trying to repair the statue. She gently placed the statue in it’s place, quickly wiped the tears from her eyes, brushed up the remaining mess and quickly left the office closing the door behind her. 

A few days had passed, and Molly could feel her tension rise every time that Tom or her mother went into the office. She knew it would be inevitable, and she hoped she wouldn’t be home when it was found that the award was broken. She was beginning to wish she had been honest about it, telling her parents that she was breaking the rules and in turn broke his prize. If it held together long enough maybe she could blame the cleaning lady. 

Terror ran through her veins when she heard a panicked, “WILLA!” come from the office. 

Tom had retreated to the office to finish a reading of a script when he noticed the award was laying in pieces, the scotch tape had finally failed. Molly cowered in her reading nook, her homework spread out before her. She shook in fear, her dog Winter curled on her lap to calm her and she silently prayed that the blame would be deflected. 

She heard muffled voices as they discussed what had possibly happened, and her heart skipped a beat or three when she heard his deep voice call her name, “Molly!” 

She swallowed hard, trembling limbs made it hard for her to stand up. She got her bearings and slowly made her way down the hall to the office that her parents shared. The look on her father’s face was stern, and full of disappointment. Molly cringed and her brain quickly began to think up scenarios that could be at least believable to ease or delay her punishment. 

“Would you mind giving me an explanation?” he asked in a tone she had never heard directed at her. 

She went blank. Fear paralyzing her as his bold blue eyes narrowed. She shrug autonomously and responded in a meek “I don’t know.” 

Molly looked to her mother who was leaning against the desk, her face just as stern as his. She knew that she would be alone in this battle. 

“You don’t know.” He said holding the broken pieces of the award in his hands, “You’re claiming your innocence then?” 

“A way out,” she thought, “he’s giving me a way out.” 

She nodded, “I don’t know how it broke.” 

She felt two sets of eyes burning into her, “Or are you choosing to lie to me, Molly?” There was more anger in his tone. 

Molly bit her lip, and swallowed hard, “I’m not lying.” she stated, her voice a mere squeak. 

“So it broke on it’s own then? Just happened to fall off it’s ledge.” 

Tom was becoming irritated, he had given the girl no reason to lie to him, No reason to fear him. Her dishonesty and the fact that she had hid this from him created a whole level of hurt. He was a disciplinarian now, her father, and Willa being right with him in agreeance that this was his issue to handle had nerved him. He had to handle this with cautioned care. Enough discipline to imply his role as her father, enough to show her that she needn’t lie, and enough to follow through with a punishment. He couldn’t show Molly how nervous he was, and how he didn’t want this task but the award was irreplaceable, and he hoped it would not be irreparable. 

Molly nodded again, and his palm hit the desk with some force that made her jump. Willa eyed Tom, and noticed he was crossing his arms to control his emotions, “Molly, the faster you tell the truth, the less angry I will be.” 

“I didn’t do it.” her head hung low, her thoughts embattled in protecting her with dishonesty. 

Willa heard his exhale, loud and irate. She too was frustrated with the display that her daughter was making. “Molly Johanna.” it was now some effort to keep his calm as Molly was staunch in her defiant role, “No books, to bed after supper, as it will be until you can speak to me with honesty.” 

“No!” she cried, a tantrum bubbling as she clenched her fists, “You can’t do that!”   
“Only honest children are gifted with their privileges. I’ve naught a thing to deserve your dishonesty Molly. Something special to my heart has been destroyed, and that’s my trust in you.” 

Tears fell from Molly’s eyes. Those last words bit with sharp teeth, and she felt her own heart shatter. She was expecting him to state the award was close to his heart, not his trust in her. Tom pushed himself off the desk and walked past Molly, who now sat on the floor in a heap, “I just wanted to see the doll!” 

Finally a confession. Tom paused at the door and inhaled, “Molly this would have been a lot easier if you were only honest. You chose not to be. The punishment stands for now.”

“I hate you!” 

Willa winced, and she saw Tom tighten as those words are never ones that a parent wants to hear. She watched Tom, his shoulders giving the slightest hint of hurt, look down at their daughter. 

Molly glared at him, face red and tear stained, her chest heaving in upset. “The punishment stands.” He said, tone gentle and then turned his eyes to WIilla. 

Willa nodded her approval, and offered him support without words. When he left the room she knelt down to Molly, told her to wash up for supper and bed, then joined Tom in the master suite. 

He was facing the window looking out at the busy road, trying to comfort himself, “I didn’t like this.” he confessed. 

“No one does.” Willa replied, wrapping her arms around him in an embrace. 

“She doesn’t hate me, does she?” 

Willa shook her head, “No. You stood your ground, she’ll be thankful for this later in life. She now knows where you stand, that you are an authority, and what can happen when she lies.” 

She heard him swallow, “It’s not too harsh?” 

“Not at all. It’s always worse for us. This parenting thing is far from easy.” Willa assured. 

He kissed her forehead and she felt him laugh lightly, “And to think, we still have boys to contend with.” 

She groaned and nestled into his embrace, “Don’t make me take away your books too, Thomas.” 

A healthy laugh followed, “Oh, I could think of far worse punishments from you.” 

She rolled her eyes and pinched his bum, “Let’s not tempt fate. Come, supper’s ready and we still have an upset little girl to deal with. She will get past this, when she realizes her wrong she will talk to you. For now, she’ll scowl. Just don’t forget that you are a wonderful father to her, Tom.” 

He placed another kiss to her forehead and then smiled down at her, “You know, I worked myself to the bone and achieved that award. It’s an Olivier, it’s hard fought. Being her parent though, watching her react, grow and succeed, while the good will always outweigh these horrible moments,it is far more rewarding than ever accepting that acting award.” 

She squeezed him before letting go of the embrace, “Your supporting actress may be a bit pissed, but your leading actress is very proud of you.” 

He laughed then stole a kiss, “I have the best cast, and my girls are always award winners. Even when throwing rotten tomatoes.” 

“You best duck at dinner, you got her at books. She may be throwing knives.” 

He took Willa’s hand and lead her from the room and a sniffling Molly could be heard from her room as she readied herself for dinner, “And tomorrow she’ll be throwing hugs. I can dodge the knives for a day.” 

“Let’s hope it’s for a day, Tom. Books. You got her at books.” 

“Yeah, you’re right.’ He said, “It could be a few.”


	29. Keeping In Character - A Regent's Park One-Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A little bit of a look at "future" Tom and Willa. I am finally getting my creativity back after an illness, and let's just say Willa was more than eager to be put on page again.

A quiet and deep exhale escaped Willa’s lips as she placed Liam next to his sleeping twin sister in the portable crib. The time change had completely interfered with the twins’ schedule and after several days of obscure wake up times from them and Tom, she sensed a bit of pride that both babies were back on something somewhat manageable. 

Thankful that the studio placed the casts set trailers in the most quiet section of the locale; Willa placed a sign on the door that notified passers-by of the two sleeping children inside and to keep the noise level down. Sometimes it worked, and other times noise happened and she hoped the twins would acclimate and sleep through anything.   
Feeling a bit weary herself she made her way to the plush sofa and picked up the book she was reading, a classic she was reacquainting herself with and scoffed at herself for leaving too much time between her and Mr Darcy. With Molly spending the day with Elsa and the rest of the Hemsworth clan, Willa allowed herself to stretch out, the well loved copy of Pride and Prejudice in her hand, and slowly drifted off into a well deserved nap. 

Tom maneuvered between the trailers, excited to be back in his element, excited to have his family tag along as he filmed. Taking advantage of a long lunch break and still clad in his characters wig of long, shaggy, black hair he found his trailer in the quiet nook, nestled under awnings and not far from his co-stars. He saw the sign “Quiet On The Set! Hiddlestwins Are Napping” on the door and smiled at the nickname they had used for their offspring. He opened the door as quiet as he could and stepped up to find a sleeping Willa stretched out on the sofa.

The sight of her curled up, blanket skewed exposing her feet, and the copy of her tattered Jane Austen tucked next to her as she slept; brought a smile to his face. The peace Willa gave him while she was both awake and asleep could never be surpassed.   
The baby monitor was next to her, and he could hear the twins making their sweet sleeping noises which mixed with her deep breathing creating a sleepy symphony within the confines of their home away from home. 

He watched her for a moment in her uninterrupted bliss, a small smile stretched on her face and wondered what she was dreaming of only to be taken aback by the soft sounds of her voice, “I hope you know I find it mortifying that you are watching me sleep.” 

Her voice was resonant with slumber. His watchful eyes had roused her, yet her eyes continued to remain closed. Now knowing she was waking, he slipped behind her and pulled her close to him; his hand ensnaring hers.

“Mortifying? Is that all?” 

“Mortifying, creepy and sweet.” She adjusted to face him and steal a kiss,surprised that he was still wearing his costume wig, “So are we still in character?” Her hand reaching back to curl a tendril in her fingers.

“That depends, love.” 

“On?” 

“If you would like me to be.” 

Willa adjusted again allowing his length to cover her. The long black hair spilled over his shoulders and her hand reached to his cheek to his temple, tucking it from his face, a gesture she was more familiar with him doing to her. The long black hair created more depth in his cheekbones, gave his skin an odd yet sexy paleness, and his blue eyes were deeper and more piercing than normal. 

“Would it be considered cheating?” she asked as her fingers danced along a cheekbone, causing him to place a kiss in her palm. 

The chuckle was deep in his chest, and when he spoke it wasn’t Tom, “He’ll never have to know. I am a God you know.” 

Willa felt gooseflesh bubble on her skin as his changed voice inflection and leering stare excited her, “Would a simple mortal like me be able to handle a God like you?” 

“He would be able to reduce her to a quivering heap, if that’s what she requests.” His hand trailed the side of her body, a path they both knew well yet this time it felt different, exciting... exhilarating. He hiked the hem of her skirt to her waist, flattened his hand against her lower abdomen and he felt the twinge of excitement in her belly, “and it seems that is what this mortal woman wants, am I correct?” His face was inches from hers, and when she didn’t answer him immediately she felt his long fingers slip into her panties and brush over her mound which resulted her immediate reaction to his touch. His lips curled into that sinister grin he made famous through film before his finger delved between her folds and his lips crashed fiercely against hers. His teeth scraped against her bottom lip as he pulled away, “this mortal woman will submit to my pleasure?” 

His teeth were already dragging on her neck as his fingers manipulated her clit; a scant “Yes” escaped her lips. “Loki, please.” 

The use of the alias and her response to him in character awakened a part of him that he didn’t know existed. She was allowing the role play, savoring this explicit moment, knowing it was him yet not him. “Say my name.” 

She hesitated again, on purpose, and her heart raced as his eyes became slits and he leered at her defiance. “Say. My. Name.” his fingers plunged further into her and she gasped from his force the the pleasure it derived. 

“Loki.” her voice was strained as he continued his control over her, Willa’s hips thrusting to his hand, riding his fingers. 

He felt her tremble, as she was close to reaching her peak and he purposely stopped his rhythm. She moaned as her body reacted to to the sudden stop, arching herself even closer to him, “Patience, my pet.” 

His lips lingered on hers after a long slow kiss as his hand once again moved slow and steady. Fingers and thumb once again at their menacing best. Longing to feel him as he teased his hardness against her still enclosed in his jeans, she reached between their bodies and brushed against the swollen fabric and heard him hiss. 

 

Unfastening offered him a quick escape, and the low guttural noise resonated in his throat as she slowly stroked him. Adjusting his placement on the sofa he pulled her towards him, rough enough to keep his character. He stood up and with some force in his grab; stood Willa before him, “Kneel.” 

Willa once again hesitated, enjoying this game maybe more than she should, the safety of knowing that Tom would “return” when she felt uncomfortable.. He once again glared at her defiance, “I said KNEEL.” 

She smirked and slowly dropped to her knees and was face to face with his cock. “Now, please me.” he ordered in almost a “Tom like” manner, a small break in his character Willa noticed. 

“How?” 

The look in her eye was aggressive and passionate, and Tom knew to take advantage. Without words, he coiled her hair with one hand, and placed his cock to her mouth with the other and forced her head forward. She tried not to laugh, and a giggle escaped her. Tom knew then that she was accepting his dominating role play. “Open your mouth.” 

Another giggle and a slight tug on her hair she took him in her mouth. Her warm tongue wrapped itself around him and she watched his eyes roll back in her head. Willa would admit blow jobs weren’’t her favourite thing to do, and it was an unfortunate history that made it that way, but when she did give in, it would make him weak, and beg for more. 

Another hiss escaped him as she devoured him, her hands on his hips to take him at length. Willa watched him as he was deep in her throat, the eye contact never breaking. She could tell he was nearing his climax, she massaged his balls and began to hum as she sucked. He needed to be inside her and quick, His hand still tightly wound in her hair, he pulled her off his cock and placed her back on the sofa, her ass towards him. Losing all sense of patience himself, his movement was sudden as he sunk himself deep inside her. 

“God, what you do to me woman!” his hands grabbing her bottom as he took her from behind. 

He was going to cum quick, Willa had nearly driven him mad with her tongue and mouth, and he would make sure she got the same amount of pleasure from this escapade too. He reached around her and once again began manipulating her clit to make sure she orgasmed with him. The sensory overload of his dominance and roughness, her submission and the role play brought them to a new sexual height, “Say my name!” 

Her voice, breathless from his hammer-like rhythm, eked out “Loki!” and he came hard and fast inside her. 

Both panting as his cadence slowed, softening in the moments after; he gently leaned in and kissed a brand new red mark on her bum. “I’m afraid I may have bruised you, love. I am sorry.” 

Willa, seeing a flash of turmoil in his eyes, smiled and raised her hand to his cheek, “When it’s like that, I expect bruises. Holy fuck what a ride.” 

He laughed his trademark laugh and folded her up to him. Her fingers once again found his hair, dishevelled and tangled from their sex. “What should I tell hair and makeup?” 

Willa smiled, “That you did what you wanted?” 

He kissed her deep and gently, finally feeling himself return from Euphoria, “I did, didn’t I.” 

Before she could answer a high-pitched cry came from the baby monitor, “Your daughter summons you, my Lord. And this mortal shall remind you that if my Lord insists on trysts of this manner, there may be more youngling’s.” 

A deep laugh escaped him as he stood from the sofa and quickly dressed himself. As Elaina’s cry became more demanding, he leaned in and kissed Willa’s forehead, “This God has been warned. Though we do make beautiful younglings.” Another cry mixed in with Elaina’s, and they both laughed. “So much for being a God.” 

“You are.” She reminded, and playfully pinched his bottom, “my love, you are.”


	30. Conversations of the Heart - A Regent's Park One Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes it's the littlest of things that speak the loudest.

Regent’s Park - Conversations of the Heart (A Tom and Willa one shot)

“What you’ve got there?” Tom asked, fresh from the shower with a chuckle under his breath when he saw that Willa had scrambled into the t-shirt he had worn the night prior. 

She shook the box and the chalky hard candy bounced inside, “Candy,” She sassed, crossing her legs and studying a tiny heart before popping it into her mouth. The crunch she made through her teeth made him wince a bit, “They’re American. Little bitty hearts. They have sayings on them.”

“Is that so?” his interest peaked, “What kind of things?”

Willa shrugged coyly, “ Sweet little things, cute little things. Cheeky. Little. Things,” she started aligning a trio of hearts on her leg from her ankle to her thigh, word side up, as he sat himself down on the bed next to her. 

Tom picked up a pink little heart that was square on her ankle and held it between his fingers, “Oh La La,” he laughed softly, “I’m sure that’s alluding to our Parisian adventure.”

“Perhaps,” she grinned as she watched him place the tiny heart in his mouth. “That was our official re-start technically. Very good memories.”

He waggled his eyebrows as he reminisced, “Lovely memories,” he hummed as his fingers walked from her ankle to her knee where the next heart waited. He turned the yellow heart with the bold neon pink writing towards him and he smiled. A smile that reached his eyes as he searched for hers, “Love Me Tender,” he read “One thing my gorgeous girl never has to worry about.”

Willa returned the smile, feeling her heart flutter at his words and a blush rising in her cheeks. These little moments, as sickenly sweet as the candy they shared never grew tiresome. Flirting was something almost entirely new to her, and Tom was an excellent teacher. “You say that so confidently.” she said, with a roll to her eyes. 

“If there’s anything I am more confident about, even more than stage or screen, is loving you,” was his reply, his nose in the air and said with complete British stuffiness.

She giggled, “Charmer, “ mocking playfully as his fingers continued their climb up her leg. He winked as his hand crept under the the hem of the t-shirt, brushing the skin near the edge of her panties, eliciting a gasp from her, “and cheeky.”

He cocked an eyebrow, and his fingers deftly removed the remaining heart that sat on her thigh. The little blue heart made him purse his lips together, nearly silencing him. He leaned in and kissed her sweetly, the taste of the candy on his lips, “What? A piece of candy shut you up?” she laughed softly into his lips.

“Little heart, big meaning.” he replied

Her hand cupped his face, his eyes soulful and endearing and she could have swore they may had glistened with tears, “Well it’s true, you are.”

He looked down at the piece of candy in the palm of his hand, “Soul Mate” it read and he whispered it softly to her. He placed Willa’s hands in his, clasping them together along with that little blue heart, and brought them to his chest. She felt the rhythm of his own heart beating under her hand. 

“Hear my soul speak: The very instant that I saw you, did my heart fly to your service.” he whispered in her ear. The quote from Shakespeare, fitting with everything that they had been through made her breath hitch as she felt the emotion well in her throat. “Who’s speechless now?”

She laughed and granted him another roll of her eyes as she stole another kiss from his lips, “Charming wanker.” she smiled.

He kissed her forehead, their hands still at his heart, “For life.” he sighed, “My soul mate.”


	31. They Way You Talk - A Regent's Park One Shot

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes, Even Willa can be a Fangirl

Late nights were a sometimes occurrence. Clients sometimes had changes they requested or moved up their deadlines, all of which Willa always took with grace. Most times she was alone in the office. Tom was either busy with a charity event or premiere, or out with a prospective director on a film. Then there was the rare occurrence that he was home, legs stretched out in his reading chair quietly reading scripts; or instances like the current one skyping with Luke, discussing upcoming events. 

His talking never bothered her. If she needed to concentrate she could put on her earphones, but his voice was often melodic and soothing to her, no matter his tone. She listened to the two men converse back and forth, making subliminal notes in her head of the dates they were addressing. 

“No, can we make it the following night? Molly has a recital, and I don’t want to miss that.” 

She soon realized she had lost all focus on her task, and was completely involved in watching him talk. With the protection of hiding behind her computer screens, she watched him. His voice was musical and uplifting. He was calm as he spoke to Luke, the conversation smattered with laughter. He spoke with his hands, eloquent and intelligent even as they discussed events and how much time his appearance would last. His eyes lit up when he talked to Luke of Molly’s recital and how much she had practiced. His voice high pitched with excitement when Luke said he would tag along for that important event. 

Willa watched his mouth and lips. They way they perfectly formed most words, yet whenever there was an “L” in the word he spoke, the left side of his mouth drew in a bit. “Molly”, “Willa”, “Luke” all afflicted with that beautiful quirk. She was mesmerized by it, and it took all her willpower to not interrupt his meeting and take his lips with hers. She exhaled loudly, and tried to revert her eyes back to her screens. 

“Willa? That charity dinner Saturday night. Is that alright with you?” Forced from her daydream, she peeked over her barrier to find his blue eyes staring her down, “Am I disturbing you?” 

She laughed, and discreetly adjusted in her desk chair, just now realizing how much he was arousing her, “No wanker, you are not. And Saturday is fine. Mum can take Molly.” 

“Brilliant.” he said, the little drawl in his mouth once again evident, and he went back to his skype chat. 

His hands were animated. Rubbing his throat and chest, his long fingers played with his lips, “Bloody hell that needs to stop.” Willa muttered to herself. 

“What’s that, Wills?” he said overhearing her curse. 

“Photoshop issue.” she mumbled, feeling a blush rise in her cheeks. 

He acknowledged her answer with a nod, and his hand went to his hair. He rubbed the back of his head, and once again let it trail down to his chest, “I am not sure how Luke is standing it, because I sure can’t.” 

He once again heard her and remained silent, peeking around his screens to see what she was doing. Still well hidden he could tell she was chewing on her thumb nail, a quirk of hers he knew too well when she was being coy. “Right, anything else tonight Luke?” 

“No mate, I think we got the next few weeks in line. I know the drill if there’s any changes.” Luke's voice replied, “Good night man, kiss the girls for me.” 

Tom chuckled under his breath, “I will give them your love, Luke. Cheers.” he disconnected the conference then cleared his throat to attain Willa’s attention. 

“Are you alright over there?” he asked as he leaned back in his chair. 

She cocked an eyebrow at him knowing she finally had his full attention, “Now that you ask, No. I am not.” She stood placing her hands on her desk, “And you’re a bloody wanker for teasing me.”

“I teased you?” he scoffed his hands once again following the path from his head down to his neck. 

Willa walked around her desk, clad in her night clothes (a cami and shorts) and hoped her seductive manner wouldn’t make him laugh. His eyes followed her as she took the few steps to him, placing herself between him and the his desk. “Yes, you did.” 

His eyes locked on hers, and he could read her mind and was not going to stop her. She straddled him, continuing her seduction. He inhaled the soft, clean scent of her now swimming in his head, her own torturous tease, “Tell me how I did that.” 

Her fingers traced his lips,her own now barely touching his, “The way you talk, your voice, the way your lips form your words, the way the left side of your mouth turns in when there’s a letter “L” in the word. It’s sinful, it’s intoxicating, it’s a turn on. No wonder so many are drawn to your charm. And only I get to have you. I should do them all a favor….” 

“Is that so.” He swallowed hard as her lips brushed his, her teeth nibbling on his bottom lip. 

“Say my name.” Her request was a whisper as she pulled away, anticipating his words. 

He licked his lips, the minute taste of her not satiating the desire that steeped in his belly, “Willa.” 

She twisted her lips. teeth making indentations on her own bottom lip as her fingers again tracing his lips “Say it again.” 

“Willa.” he said as her thumb stroked the left side of his mouth as he spoke. 

She kissed him deeply, both hands now holding his head as his own wrapped around her bringing her closer to him. She circled her hips against him and he hissed, giving her all control of her seduction. Her right hand carved a path from his ear, brushing lightly against his neck and the rolling muscles of his chest and slipped past his waistband. His eyes were mere slits as her warm hand found what it was searching for. He was stone in her hand, and his heat was almost enough to burn her. “One more time. Say my name, Thomas.” 

Another hiss escaped his teeth, as her hand slowly manipulated him. “Fuck. Willa.” was barely audible. His mouth and teeth latched onto the apex of her neck and shoulder as she continued sliding her hand up and down his shaft, then slipped his cock fully out from his sweatpants. 

She broke the connection from his bite, his eyes again finding hers. Her dominance over him arousing him more than he would let on. 

“Sometimes.” she started as she ground herself against him, feeling his stiffness against her belly as she continued her hand job. “You are relentless with your voice and hands. There’s times when I cannot stand to be in the same room as you when you are speaking you arouse me so much.”

“Do I.” was more a statement than a question, ‘Tell me Willa, how do you handle it. When you can’t climb on my lap and fuck me.” His hands planted firmly on her hips, she pulled her knickers and shorts to the side, gasping as his cock rubbed against her sensitive clit. She eased herself onto his length, eliciting moans from both as he was sheathed within her. 

“Ladies powder room.” she squeaked.

She closed her eyes, the feeling of him inside her euphoric. She rocked slowly as his mouth trailed from her lips to her neck. She arched her back as she rode, his hands climbing up her back to help her balance. Her nipples stood taught through her cami and he took one in his mouth through the cotton. Willa gasped at the sensation, and increased her rhythm. 

Willa grasped his shoulders, as he began to thrust in an opposite rhythm, continuing to use his voice to stimulate her, “Do you fuck yourself, Willa? Do you take your fingers and imagine it’s me?” 

She was close to orgasm, his voice and thrusts now matching hers was bringing her to the point of a powerful climax. “Yes, Thomas.” was nothing but a pant , “Yes!” 

Her walls closed around him as she peaked, digging her nails into his shoulder as he used the tightening around his cock to his advantage, fucking her fast and forcefully. His orgasm followed quickly after hers, the warm rush and rapid heart beat loud in his ears. 

She panted, trying to catch her breath as she slowed her pace, her head tucked on his shoulder as their final shudder escaped their bodies; Willa slowly riding him until she felt him grow soft inside her, “Should I talk, or remain quiet?” his tone was low and sensual as a tease. 

She raised an eyebrow at him, “You’re going to use this as an advantage aren’t you?” 

He chuckled as she adjusted herself on his lap, “Anytime I can.’ 

He kissed her chastely and sweetly, a laugh still on his lips. She cupped his head in her hands and smiled, “You’re incorrigible.” 

“Well yes, my gorgeous girl. I suppose I am. Let’s say we clean up here and I can then tell you a bedtime story, between your legs?” 

She blushed. “A little Dr. Seuss or a bit more explicit?” 

“Hmmmm from the way you talk, I could read an instructional manual and I could make you orgasm.” 

She circled his hips again, a smarmy smile spread on her lips, “There’s one on my desk, let’s find out.” 

She slid off his lap as he stood and he pulled her close to him, she could feel that he was once again becoming aroused, “Figure A cannot wait to slip into slot B, we best get to it.’ Laughter escaped her as he grabbed her hand and the instruction manual off her desk and headed to the master suite,“I am so glad this isn’t Ikea.” 

“I’d still make you read it.” 

“And you call me incorrigible.” 

“I call you wanker too, and you still please me.” She said as she crawled to the middle of the bed, taking off her cami as she spoke. 

He stood at the edge of the bed and licked his lips as she undressed, “Willa, I think we may need to skip the reading.” 

She laughed as he playfully laid her back, her legs circling around his hips, “Impatiently incorrigible.” 

“Only for you my gorgeous girl,” his voice husky as he breathed her in, “You do things that make me crazy too. For now though, figure A, meet slot B.”


End file.
